When love can't wait

Learning to love someone means you first have to learn to forgive them,
over, and over again
The human heart is frailer than we expect;
It bleeds with a misplaced word or a harsh look
Yet deep in our hearts we find the propensity
To forgive, when it hurts the most
To try again, where hope seems futile
To reach out to help someone else
When inside, we are suffering.

I've realized, that although we have both guarded our hearts towards each other,
we share about our lives
My human heart is foolish, I didn't expect
That I wuold memorize the care we've shared
And deep in my heart I find the capacity
To smile with my eyes, only at you
To enjoy the countless moments
You're one of the most important people in my life
I wish you will be here, always, by my side.

(wrote this at the 315 bus stop.)

Have you forgotten me?
Sometimes I think you have.
I would like to forget you, too.
When I was depressed because I did not learn to embrace my emotions, I was sad.
In the year that followed, I believe I did learn to identify and release my emotions with courage; and care for others - you were the first one I could care about.
That's why you are important.
I was at Orchard Road yesterday with Kie and Dree.
I was singing christmas songs to myself because I had to sing, for the christmas party.
It's my first public singing after the traumatic year.
I had a sudden realization of how I came to this stage where I could even dare to sing.
It's because of your encouragement, the times we walked along Adam Road to Orchard Road
I was always afraid to sing, only daring to sing one line...or two.
But now I dare to sing, a lot, because... ...
And that memory suddenly stirred up in me,
And there was no more Kie and Dree (how lame! it rhymes)
Have you forgotten me?
But I still remember you.

Talking to various ones in our group made me realize that hey, everyone has their own bittersweet memories about the past loves - bitter because they are already 'ex-es' but sweet because it reminds them of how they used to love another; though the reasons for them being 'ex-es', some reasons may be more poignant and others a matter of inconvienience, the ones around me are scared like me too, to forget to guard their hearts, to somehow fall, again...why are they scared to love? Why are they scared to find someone else? I can see it in their eyes.

Yet I can also see in their eyes that they want to, have a happy ending, like everyone else.