Friday, July 24, 2009

the men still don't get it.

One of the few lady friends I have remarked to me after the previous post,

'Yes, totally AGREE that we, women always prefer to have BETTER choices.
Well, who doesn't like to have a choice in life? Especially our soulmate.' 

I'm still amazed and terribly happy that I'm able to find a real man who loves me, in Mr A. I always wonder, as a thinker thinks to herself, how can it be possible that two people can find each other and love each other. What are the odds? Some time back, I was acquainted with a nice couple around my age. The girl was gushing to me on how lucky she was she found her Mr Right, and was hopeful of a future together. On the same day, I happened to take the bus back with said Mr Right, as we lived in the same district. Surprisingly, as if he knew what Ms Right had said to me earlier, he mentioned that, his girlfriend seemed to think the world of him and all... ... he is her soulmate, her lifelong dream. But for him, he said that, although he loves her, she is not his soulmate. She is not THE ONE for him. His blunt honestly shocked me to bits and I remembered that for years. I do wonder sometimes, what has happened to him? Has he found his gal?

Meanwhile, the girl has broken up with him, moved out of Singapore, and is now dating a Korean guy so I hope that she has found happiness. Mr A. doesn't really understand about the part where women always prefer better choices. Perhaps in our parent's generation, the network of guys you could pick from was few. And so, you either settled for the one who loved you more and seemed to have a decent character, or you waited until you had to be matchmaked by nosy relatives. But now, having been exposed to different men, not only locally but to 'laowai', to romanticised Korean men, to boyish Taiwanese men... ... we get a little more picky. Just as there are so many options as to what we can apply as makeup on our faces - See, there's foundation, or powdered foundation, or tinted moisturizer, or mineral, or organic, or animal-friendly, or rich in gemstones... ... how to choose? So many options, in our minds. Our lives, and destiny, can totally change if say, we happen to fall in love with a rich (has to be rich) Indonesian Chinese we met in college, and now, living in Jkt, putting on 10 kg because of sedentary lifestyle and tai-tai-ing the days away, having 5 maids to manage and wads of rupiah. 

So now, if you know your guy has a lazy bone, is slacker in nature, been with you for a long time but seems reluctant to propose or to start thinking about the future, a 5-year plan. If your guy just CMI. 

Cannot make it. You can't stand his porkbelly now. You can't stand his lack of personal hygiene. You can't stand his nagging about your lack of CPF in-order to get married and have a HDB and you know you will divorce him if you ever marry him. IF he stands you up during friday night dates, saying he is tired but only said so after you call him after 6pm asking where should we go. CMI!!!

If you can't stand his attitude towards your needs, or he seems to have roving eyes, saying your friends are HOT (but never said that about you.) If you see that he has done it before (been unfaithful)... even though he wants to change, you trust and believe so but the odds are, you have to know, that he will do it again and what will you do then? When he repeats the history which always repeats itself, and time and evidence has always proven so.

Will you leave him, or continue loving him 'till death does us part'? 

We women are not STUPID. All these incidents are true, they have been related to me by women around myself. 

Some wise up and choose a better future for themselves, perhaps the younger ones. The younger ones have less to lose. They are also more willing to 'let go and let God.'

Some choose to stay. And become a totally naggy person. I always wonder why, too. Why they choose to stay. Maybe they think that is the best life has to offer them. 

But if they choose to stay they should also accept his shortcomings because they have accepted that in the past.

Mr A. wanted to know if in future I meet some other guy who has 'all that and more', would I leave this true love, for the other guy? He seemed sulky after I explained about the 'better choices'.

The men really don't get it ah...

Anyways, I have made my choice already! If a woman is not serious about you, she will never agree to certain things... like a 5-year plan with you!!!

Silly Mr A.