A slide shown at The Church with a quote seems to have stuck in my mind, 'Love finds a way... Indifference finds an excuse.'
The changes of this world is creeping up on me. I used to count having a chat over coffee, usually Coffeebucks, as one of my fave pasttimes. Shopping here, until recently, being boring, overpriced and not worth the effort. I really enjoyed that, supper-ing with a friend or two, at Chompchomp, or roti-prata. Times like these are hard to come by lately. Or have we just overlooked it in our schedules? We don't seem to have time to stop by for a chat anymore, and when we have a day off we seem to not know what to fill it with - the time then becomes too important to fill it with mundane things like going to the supermarket, or a few hours' of exercise. Instead we fill it with the things we wanna do, which inevitably, means catching up a few hours' with our friends and loved ones. Not shopping alone, unless everyone's unavailable.
But I find that it is becoming difficult for us to really have a good chat. So many ideas flit through our mind, so many poetic landscapes to explore and themes to dwell upon. So instead of really thinking through what we're feeling, we don't. We just put it aside and gaze upon other bewitching horizons. But when asked about a certain thing, we find ourselves puzzled, not being able to respond in a certain way.
The reason for this could be that, we are unable to think straight. We have so many on-going projects, so many social activities that require our presence. Even after cutting all these out, we still have the obligations and the want-to-attend events. And the long awaited wardrobe upheaval or the clearing of the clutter on the dressing table - when did I amass all these stuff and how did it appear here, I wonder. (And where should I put it?)
I've seen different people come and go. In my company, I'm like the longest-lasting already. Maybe my time to go will come soon. In ministry, me and Kie were the first. And we are still here, although he is more 'here' than me. I've watched many come and go, and it seems that those who come, and stay, whether in work, ministry, or social, have some things in common. Friends who stay, I must admit, are those whose company I enjoy very much. Not only so, but I and them have a special connection. You could say we're fond of each other in a platonic way for reasons unknown to us. But they remain in our mind, and so, in our lives. Those who stay in ministry, I've seen, are also those with a certain strength of character. After all, it is not easy in this era to remain committed, to anything. Some can 'tahan' for a few years, say 3-5 years. Some have more stamina. Some, come for only a few months. The ones I cannot understand are those who totally 'disappear', and then 'reappear' just as suddenly, and it seems to them that all remains the same for them, as if they had never gone! How strange. And I always wonder what happened to them during that 'disappeared' period. (I'm talking months, here.) Did the other aspects of their lives come to a standstill as well? I've seen some being so involved, and then 'disappearing' without rhyme or reason, and they may appear in other cell or district or church, continuing on as if they had never left... it's strange to me. I think all of us want to be heard, want to play a part in a little way, in the community which we belong to. So we do things, organize events, help each other out. And I really look up to those who serve their community in such a way. Not only in church, but in grassroots events, volunteer for animals, etc. I always wanted to be one of those people. It's tiring to be sure, and I don't think I have the stamina. But why limit myself? Sometimes I miss opportunities, but interesting ones been coming up recently. I have 2 invitations to sing, both through friends who recommended me - I'm not sure if I will disappoint them though.
I'm not sure I have the time, for countless rehearsals and meet ups, but for this time, I think I will at least give myself a chance to explore the options.
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