Almost everyone has this topic of love or relationships on their mind. I met up with a lady friend, she shared with me her ups and downs of relationships for 8 years. Another friend, a guy, who knows The Boyfriend and me, separately, wanted to know our story - how we met, started to like each other, and went out. And I mentioned to him that almost all girls do feel insecure at the beginning of the relationship. Perhaps of emotional issues like past hurts, or seeing some relationships go awry after a short time, girls, myself, we do hold back a little, at the start. But I mentioned to my close guy friend that The Boyfriend showed a strong decision by telling his leaders immediately about me and met up with his parent and extended family too. In fact, he met with my parents too in the first month we were seeing each other. It's this confidence that leads me to trust him more and also feel secure in our love.
Speaking about love, I also feel that one of the ways a marriage will break up is that one party does not feel as strongly about the other party. May I be so bold to say that that party does not really love the intended, who, sadly, loves them with his whole heart. You may well wonder, as well as I, in this case, then why marry? But for some women, they feel secure in a man's love and being in a relationship. When they see all their friends getting hitched, they feel the pressure or the desire and thus settle down with the man. Sad but true, it happens both ways as well... I've heard the news about impending nuptials for one such sad case. Through the lady's actions in the past, she has shown she is not capable of loving the man, nor having a good character. In short, she has left the man and the relationship on two occasions when the man was in need, the last, when he was in financial distress, and caused him to fall into a deep state of depression as well. I'm not saying I make a good girlfriend, but in this instance, I would stand by my man and even lend him money knowing he will not be able to return. But for this sad story, the girl not only left him, but got attached quickly to another. I also wondered how this could be, as for me, it would be impossible to fall in love again in such a short time. I felt it would be shortchanging the next fellow. Some simplistic explanation would be, that the lady 'opened the door', gave the next chap some chances while she already had in mind to end the relationship. In fact, they broke up during this time 2 years ago, christmas time, and he was on course for 3 weeks, after that when he wanted to patch up with her, to his utter shock and horror, she was with another chap. Although I am not personally acquainted with the lady, I have to say all the facts are true, and hearing this story I can only say that his only fault is that he fell in love with the wrong girl. Even his family is against the marriage, and some people who know, also feel the same way as me. In this case, I have no hopes that it will be a happy marriage, and I am sad. We had talked before, about us hanging out as marrieds, taking care of each other's children, he and my husband chatting while his wife and myself go out shopping together, it seems like a wonderful dream of a happy life, but in reality, my guess is that he will be happy only for a little while. Given her nature, I don't think it's long before he will end up miserable again. And even sadder, he might kill himself. If she does leave him alone again, I think we have to accept that he might jump, or just decide to end it all. The Bible states the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. In fact, his peace of mind has already been stolen. So the next time, it might be a really sad and unhappy ending.
This might be a controversial statement to make, but Pastor said that he believed strongly, any relationship can be reconciled. Any issues, can be worked upon and resolved.
But for some cases there might not be such a simple resolution. If, in the first place, one party does not or cannot love the other, how? Or, if the other's character is really not good, what sort of quality of life can you expect to have together? In these cases, being alone might be better. If you have ever been close friends with people who are about to divorce and hearing them throughout, you know that they really suffer. Whether they have been unfaithful or not, or in any case, both sides really suffer, the pain of seeing their marriage fall apart. In my book, it's better to remain single than to marry the wrong guy. Seeing my friend make such a mistake, it's difficult for me, too.
I heard of a high-profile couple whom most of us know, they are getting a divorce. Apparently, although the reason was not widely publicized, and we do not care to speculate, because, as all of us know, there is not just one main reason alone, IE ' he has been unfaithful' to cause that to happen. It's sad but I am glad to hear that, many people have come up and said testimonies about his character. That whether he is a 'divorcee', a taboo in our christian circle, they still respect him for who he is and what he has done for them. I think my friends are brave in saying so. I was once entangled in a situation which left many people thinking it was a 'love affair gone wrong'. No matter how much I protested my innocence, those who are high-profile all disappointed me by trying to be 'neutral' and not supporting either party.
Only those true friends stood by me when I was down: KK (and FL) took me out for suppers on Sunday nights where the feelings would overwhelm, DZ sang songs to me was there every public holiday to accompany; RS shared some life lessons of her own via email - when we were only 'hi-bye' friends and she did not even know me well, I was really touched. It takes guts to share some things you don't want others to know, and also guts to trust me that it remains safe with me...
YH made sure I came for service by smsing me every Saturday and even though busy with the youth, he made sure there was always an empty seat beside him for me in case I wanted some company, JC was there and went the extra mile by finding out things I couldn't have and helping me so much, others smsed me and met me from time to time. Truly in such crisis, you know which friends are there for you, who has the strength of character that even though you are in some scrape, they bother. I think it shows how good a person they are, and also because of maybe similar experiences, they are in the position to help me.
I was saying that in this day and age, you can't find 'lifetime friends' anymore.
But I think now, I know where to look!
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