friendships

I've been making some new friends, or should I say new-old friends.

It's strange how friendship happens, especially in my side of the world. I am friendly, yes, but I don't really go out all to make new friends with new people, due to some bad experiences I would not like to repeat. I am still a little bit sore over how some friends used me. So I keep a safe distance with new folks in The Church's clique.

But sometimes when it least happens to you, you happen to find really nice people you can clique with. Some of my guy friends, others describe as weird or eccentric but they seem perfectly normal to me, maybe I am like them too? Hmm.

I recently got re-acquainted with an old guy from The Church. Yes, he seems old to me in the past, but maybe not now that I feel old myself. He's in the age range of those leaders and senior students when I was a young'un. We had quite many friends in common, those 'oldies', and one late night when I can't sleep, somehow, I started talking to him over the FB chat (something I seldom use by the way.) I've always wondered about him, in those years past. He seemed like a really nice guy, albeit quiet, tall and perhaps quite the emo/broody sort. We shared about 'gifts to give a girl you like', and he told me he once gave a 'winnie-the-pooh' to a girl he liked... but she didn't like it. We shared about how the guys in The Church 'cannot make it', and he jokingly replied that's why he's not there now! He has been through some things in his life, from what I guessed, a relationship that broke up, being of an older age, I believe it was serious, yet now he's single. It's a hard place to be when all your friends are married and popping out the first or second one, I also have that fear of being left on the shelf at times...

A few weeks later, he smsed me out of concern for the things I shared about my job that time. It's nice to somehow get in touch with people that knew you from the past, like ghosts, you see them but never really 'see' them. I wonder how I seemed to be to them in the past though, hopefully I did not leave them a bad impression. I suddenly remembered the other day and told TheBoyfriend, much to his mirth, that one of the guys in The Church, previously, gave me this nickname 'Ljungberg', as in Freddie Ljungberg, the soccer player. And they called me 'Ljungberg' secretly, behind my back!

Huh... do I look like him?

(Okay, stop staring. No resemblance!)

Later on I found on (as that guy told me, many years later when we've become good friends) I've been nicknamed so because of my red hair, as Ljungberg also had shocking red hair before he became botak. Maybe I should be secretly pleased that they took note of me/my hair and nicknamed me after a famous soccer player.

It's quite a well-known fact that I have more guy friends that girl friends, I guess its just the topics we like to talk about. About work, politics, economics, etc. Really boring stuff, honestly.

Although I try not to go out so often now (save money and lack of... interest to go out!) there are some kindred ones who still keep in touch, that's really nice. It's nice to feel connected and intelligent and that your opinion is still necessary in some arenas.

To clear the long time-misconception that 'something can happen' between platonic friends: Well, maybe some couples will be afraid if the girl is close to guys, especially drop-dead handsome guys... like in those taiwanese shows, haha. And all my friends are quite good-looking, maybe I like to surround myself with hunks... Actually I never bothered about their looks, as long as they can speak English well and are usually tall... we will make friends!

But the thing is, if you have been friends especially since those long-ago teenage days or early adulthood days where they have seen your growing pains, and you have seen their immature ways, especially especially when they like some immature girl and you know it before...really no way...

It's really unlikely that those images will be mentally 'erased' from the girl's mind.

Seriously, we can't get over the fact that they have worn such baggy pants and white sneakers, with that mushroom hairstyle remnant from the '90s and whatnot. As girls we also need a romantic feeling to 'fall in love' in that way and being friends for so long, the romantic feeling cannot be captured, only disgust perhaps.

The only exception to the case is if they have been apart - IE not seen each other for some years and then back together as friends, then sparks may fly, OR, if the girl have had liked the other party before. In a crush sort of way when she was still young. Like, really really really liked him.

I've always wondered what would happen if my crushes all turned out well. Lucky for me, only the last one did become mutual, heh!!! Anyways, prayer always works for such instances. Pray that you stop liking the person, or else pray for the person to like you back if it's meant to be.

And never tell your boyfriend which handsome friend of yours you once had a crush on. As in the quote, 'some things are better left unsaid', to preserve your youthful dignity and your wonderful friendships. Oh, and never tell the friend either. Unless a dreadful long time has passed and both of you are mature enough to take it. Haha.