Short term memories

We have such short, short memories. It's almost like a disease.

If not for the photos we took or the journals we scribbled in, our memories, our thoughts and happy moments would have been something that did not take place because we could not remember.

Yesterday, TheBoyfriend wanted to surprise me with a trip to the rabbit breeder where I got Mushroom. And, with a baby rabbit of my choice. But instead of the response he expected, I burst into tears. For it was there when I first got acquainted with Mushroom, amidst the Himalayans, Flemish Giants, Dwarves and Lops and I chose Mushroom, instantly. He sniffed my feet and happily ran out of the door, and ran back. I'm not ready to have another pet just yet. I worry that my current upgrading scheme would bring about another premature ending. I worry that if it's a baby rabbit it would not survive in my care.

I could not bring myself to throw away the pink food bowl, his pink and purple ball and his toilet thingy till today. I was hit by a sudden memory of him digging happily - it was his hobby to dig, as if he was making a burrow. And I felt a strange feeling of wanting to smile yet cry, something which I've never - if rarely - felt before. I'm quite in touch with my feeler side lately.

We are only human. We miss the ones we love dearly. And while being petless may seem great for a while - you do not have to 'report' to anyone, clean anyone's cage daily, or keep making trips to the supermarket for xiao bai cai and carrots... we are human after all and we need some form of companionship. Having been best-friend-less for a while now, I can say that I look to Mushroom as a close companion and even talk to him, he seems wise and I can always feel better after sharing my innermost thoughts with him and patting his head, which he loves.

I have such a short, short memory that I almost forgot what my TheBestFriend did for me.
No matter how lousy his character is or what bad impression he left others because of his misdeeds, it wasn't like that for me. It was the purest, most beautiful form of friendship one could find. A person willing to protect me from harm at all costs, willing to listen to me for hours, eagerly spending every PH watching movies, and one who sings with me through life's sorrows and sadness.

If not for his 1 year of bestfriendship, I wouldn't have bravely faced the future. And although I was chargrined to know that the good times' are too short for me to accept, I accept now that we should remember the sweetness of the memories, and not accept a substitute when we're not ready.

If I had bought some pet right now, I don't think I can feel for it as much as I do when I'm ready to accept someone new into my life. And I think, with a grateful heart, what these 2 creatures have done for my life. When it's time to let go, it's time. Mushroom may have been the bestest pet I've ever had, but I don't doubt the future ones would bring me less joy. Derrick may have been the bestest friend (male - I have one female BFF in Oz) in need for one year of my life, but it was a happy, fulfiling year and I don't doubt that despite me finding another one now, it would erase the gratitude I have towards him. At any age, we still need best friends.