Like speech bubbles without words

You know the feeling of having so many things to say, but not really knowing when to say it so you just put it aside, as if thoughts, feelings, things like these can be put aside, and then when you have that all so familiar feeling, you try to think of what you wanted to say just then - but it's been so long that you forgot already? But yet you still remember the kind of empty feelings - like speech bubbles without words. Or like wanting to take a photo but you forgot to bring a camera and you try to remember the picture you wanted, but only a hazy outline of colors and images figure out.

And being judged for what you feel or think or judging others. I feel that most lies are made out of people wanting to be nicer people, or rather not letting other people knowing their true thoughts. I try not to judge people as I believe sincerely in everyone being different and unique. But sometimes I can't help but think badly of people who refuse to grow up. Maybe I'm like that too. Maybe I take a sinister pleasure in letting my issues go over my head. Holding on to them because it means holding on to nice memories which proves I have feelings after all.

I had a weird dream days ago. I dreamt of living in a kingdom just like ours, just that the divide between the rich and poor could be easily seen. As rich people had the money to buy mineral water, they did not drink the natural water and were so spared from some strange disease that plagued the poor people, who could only drink natural water, and the water had trace elements of an unidentifiable contaminant. After years of drinking the water, their heads became puffy, and their noses bulbous. In short, the rich people did not have to go for cosmetic surgery to have the upper crust look like in other first world nations because simply by being able to afford mineral water, they looked much prettier and superior than those who couldn't. I don't know if this dream is an analogy for something happening in my mind/life, but seeing all those people with bulbous noses, me being the upper crust in the dream and living in a mansion, I somehow envied their carefree village life and finding true love, looking beyond the bulbous noses. They were grostesque to a certain degree but it's nice living in a world where you accept yourself as being yourself and not try to change the status quo, in some sense. When a couple has to depend on each other during some duress circumstances, it's actually much more romantic than bickering about the thousands you both make and who makes more. We should all be a little more happy in this country, having clean water, relatively cheap entertainment, and accessible transport. But we are not, and why?

Anyways, I saw on the news a few days later about some part in India having trace elements of uranium in their water which affected many children to have intellectual disabilities and unnatural physiologies, and I was stunned to see how my weird dream actually was the life of some poor folk in a country not that far away from here.