A Tad Sad

Just a tad sad ( haha. it rhymes.) today... had an 'sms' fight yesterday and I was reflecting on why I'm so heated up... I guess it's the internal tension that I've been having lately. I know I'm not gonna follow through on things I've promised myself, and by knowing that it's really frustrating when you're trying to make everyone happy, meanwhile you're miserable and want to trash the whole 'mini project' and go back to the easy, comfty way. Just wanted to speak a little with gif and share, puke on his shoulder that kinda thing... needed some encouragement cuz I've been accounting to him all these months. And so anyways I felt strange that he's busy, cuz he always makes time for me, and I felt ...'jealous' (strange feeling, that) he always talks about his proj mates blah blah blah...and would rather spend time with them(misconception aye) so I was feeling abit selfish and smsed him to 'go away'.

Harrumph.

But after one day of feeling forlorn I realised hey, its only a phase of time, it's not that he's not there for me when I need it... and a taste of my own medicine, I'm guilty of chirping away about my friends to my other friends too. So I guess now I know how that feels, but sometimes I really can't help it, aye? Just thought that it would be nice to have some reassurance from him that he values this as much as I do.

While eating lunch with Angela (so nice, she treated me this nice congee from amara hotel and ice-kachang cuz it's my last day) I suddenly had a 'memory flashback' of gif saying he prayed to understand me better ( about a year ago) and that was the best thing ever anyone had said to me in my entire life and I ate my congee really slowly, thinking sadly about that and how mean I was to the poor dear who just doesn't know how to express himself thru sms.

Boo.


So now I'm feeling really sorry about being mean. If I do see him on saturday I guess I'd just smile tentatively at him and see how he reacts then.