Miserable days

The last two weeks, work-wise, have been hell. I'm not talking about those minor office politics that seem to herd people into different factors, that would be much better than the ultra toxic environment I'm in now. I never like to talk or think or do work after work hours, so I usually keep my unhappy feelings to myself. But the last straw came last week when Manager blew up at me for really unfair and nonsensical reasons that I found myself crying because of the abuse. Today, again. In fact every day last week it's been like this. The moment I step into the office I am bombarded by the shitload of verbal abuse plus stress on the work itself. I couldn't help but cry helplessly. It's enough to drive one into depression, but I recognize the signs and I'm not going to let myself fall into that state while I can help it.

The silver lining on the cloud is that I received a job offer that I had really really wanted - the scope and the place, and the environment I felt was beneficial. I had forgotten about it as initially I was really happy here. They called last week and I am hopeful that when I meet the Director today he can work something out for me. It's less work and more pay there, but the stability of the position remains questionable.

At least, I know that I can walk away when I feel like it, rather than being stuck in a rut for many years. It's hell being unhappy everyday, that sometimes it's just no point trying to cheer up once you know you are facing unreasonable people and shitty work. I'm just trying to bear through the week. Next week I'll be in Pattaya and I really hope this week passes fast.