I cannot help but wonder why things happen the way they should. I'm not complaining, but life seems so different two, five, eight, months ago. Friends come and go so quickly. The global village that has made communication so much easier, also eats into our friendships. It becomes a sort of mutitasking.. even on the phone, when it was a privilege before, it is now viewed as another time-consuming activity. Even for me, I chat and manage to eat a meal, watch tv, read a book, prepare agendas, etc. I've displaced the energy it takes to build common bonds into trying to save time, and it doesn't really save much.
Yes, I am frustrated. And idiotically I don't know the reason why.
Or maybe I know why but I am not facing up to it.
Maybe if I sleep more it will all go away. Tell me not to worry. It's impossible. I'm not the 'worrier' sort, but sometimes when I think of the gravity of the situation, it befuddles me and I am lost, lost in the wonderful world of burdensome thoughts, things that I forget to do just pops up in my subconscious state as woefully punishing dreams, the tone of voice which I use changes into a subdued tone and I wish that for one instant, I could be someone else, not me. And it's hard to tell anyone that, you want to change just because change is good not because you don't like yourself, not because you are constantly dissatisfied with things. Or that you can't make any sense of the way the economy works or the way the world revolves, at least in your small little utopia, things aren't as rosy as it should be seen.
Arh.
I cannot pray for God to take away my emotions, 'cuz I don't want to be a robot.
Hahaha... couldn't resist that!
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