Other than what I've been trying to be

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately...

Asking questions, a way of improving myself.

But asking too many questions leads to some headaches and too much analysis leaves me 'aloof and preoccupied'. Guess I'm at my happiest when in the company of people. It helps me to be more positive. I'm so so glad that so many things are happening in my life, at least I cannot complain my life is boring, haha!

Been analysing (again) the people in my life. I think understanding their makeup helps me to better understand conflict management. Wondering how come I just cannot get along with some people, even though on the whole, I get along well with almost everyone. But to connect on a deeper level, very few can actually get that with me. 'It takes time', is just an excuse, I do get close to a rare few, considerably fast, if measured by the quantity of time. Then again, it's hard to please me. Complained that Friend X was too indecisive because he always leaves the decision to me... as if he doesn't have a preference of his own. (In reality, he was just being sweet and pandering to my fragile heart). Then, Friend Y just decided on my behalf - which I wasn't too happy about either! But honestly would prefer, la... Not all the time though. So... it's hard to please me!

I'm over the moon when my big boss spends time with me, I really like him, his character... he's like John C Maxwell live in person, got to see him to believe it! On connecting with people, he told me, it's a higher level when couples that are really close, just give each other a 'look', and instantly one knows what the other is thinking. It's called 'soul-fusion', the word reminds me of some tea, funnily. And big boss is trying to understand people in that way too, to read the body language and spend time with his staff so that he knows what they are thinking (about him?). Haha... guess he will give up trying to 'read' me 'cuz I do give out very confusing signals. Was thinking, hmmm... recently there was one instance where I laughed in a certain way during my conversation, and the recipient immediately knew what I was thinking about. He even voiced it out, to my utter surprise! Maybe he thinks the same way too... oh we are so neurotic. It surprised me because I always thought that you had to know the person for a long time, really... to understand one's soul. On the fast-track perhaps.

Weeks pass by really fast, it's the 39th week of the year. Sometimes I have some inklings to do things but don't get around to doing them, and day after day is filled with other activities that it's pushed, to the back of my mind, that I forget about it and only remember when I'm in bed and it's dark and ... no more energy to do anything, just want to rest. Quite tired this week, and I'm perturbed when commitments clash or I'm late 'cuz I cannot balance my schedule. Still learning, still adjusting. =)