Sunday, November 13, 2005

I still save all his mails

It's funny (Okay, maybe funny is not a suitable word to use) the way how some friendships are.

Some are driven apart by conflicting schedules so that you can only meet once or twice a year, but still when you meet it's as though no time has passed, and the level of closeness is as before, the only difference is that perhaps you look slightly different from the last time you both met.

Some are driven together by similar environment or situational, yet precisely because of the convienience you don't really care that much should anything happen to drive it apart...until it is driven apart, for whatever absurd reasons; or perhaps no significant reason at all.

It's strange how certain friendships turn out.

Mine with Ches was unusual to say the least. Wrote about it before here, that from the time I knew him, never talked to him at all for a span of about two years or more. Never thought that we could clique, much less have a decent conversation. We moved in different circles in a similar environment. It was only after he was confirmed leaving Singapore that we became close. During the years that he was in Singapore, we never met nor went out, not together singly; not in a group. After he left, it became a must for us to meet up whenever he manages to drop by.

I always feel so privileged to meet him because despite the friends that he has made here, those that were closer to him in church, he only wants to meet me and another friend; not even wanting to tell 'the rest' that he was here. The last time round, it was like this, too. I'm not allowed to tell them either, until he is gone, tomorrow! Guess we both have a special place in each others' hearts, although we refuse to admit to it, or anything more.

The number of words we exchanged through email in the first six months was more than the ones we managed to converse face-to-face in the last 2 years. It's true that we don't treasure interpersonal relationships until we know that there is an expiry date to it. The only words I remember saying to him every time we met in church was, "Hello, Mr Fernandez", because I saw his name printed on his bible and all the while I only knew him as Ches, till then. And that was all I had to say, and being the quiet person he is, never said much either.

And through the long emails pondering about life, writing out our heartfelt thoughts about our spiritual struggles, our relationships with the ones in our sphere, the things we had to go through, a deep bond was formed. I'm old-fashioned, I love a good old letter to pore over and read, and reread again. I still save all his mails. I cannot bear to delete them. (Although now with gmail, they claim I never need to delete anything again...)

I'm so glad to finally see him. =) Took a mental photograph of him, a vivid picture in my memory's eye now; that will slowly fade as the days drag on. Hope this picture lasts six months, till I get to see him again.