Saturday, February 18, 2006

Leadership out of the box

Immersed in a good book last night - "Leadership and Self-Deception" - by the Arbinger Institue - wouldn't have bought it myself if not for the shopkeeper's recommendation and the fact that it was a national bestseller. The read turned out to be surprisingly good - gave me insights on why some people behave in the way they do - blaming others and treating others like objects, even though they do not really look at themselves and ask why are they like that. This behavior is termed 'in the box' - and several analogies made the book a page-turner. Wow. After reading the book I felt like just buying copies and passing them to my friends. It definitely helps in motivating people. Simple concepts with great depth. For me, I'm sometimes in the box, but hopefully in most of my personal relationships, I'm out of the box.

I realise that some people I've dealt with and am dealing with are really deep 'in the box'. It's sad because like the mouse-sized men in 'Who moved my cheese', they don't believe that the problem lies with their own self-deception, and blame it on everything else. Which is sad, but it would also take a long time for them to come out of it. I remember one incident where this person questioned me haughtily about certain people I was having responsibility of. Because of that person's way of asking me, I felt defensive and wanted to reply back curtly. It was not entirely my fault that things happened this way; however, in a leadership position, and also due to personal mismanagement I knew things could have been handled better in my capacity. So... I did something that she utterly would not have expected. I said that, "Yes, in X incident, it was my fault. I could have done better." You can see the shocked look on her face! Up till today, this person still questions me on the way things are being done... not in the way of wanting to learn things, but rather picking on the things people are doing and trying to criticize. And this person prides it on her personality type, 'that's the way it is, because that's the way my personality is'. I really cannot understand.

And meeting all sorts of people everyday, really makes you a different person. For me, I hope I'm wiser in interpersonal relationships.

It's strange that although I talk so much in my biz everyday, at night I can still talk to friends, online, etc. It's as if I have no 'word quota' of the day... I think I would be depressed if I did not have anyone to talk to! Then again, God is good, always providing me with plenty of opportunities. I still have so much energy left despite my tiring days, I long to lie down on a patch of grass and share deepfelt desires and dreams. I miss Warrie, stupid feeling right? Want to talk and talk to him, wonder if he wants to also...? This week is bad for him. Somehow, hope to offer more than a listening ear. The notion of someone supporting you is enough for you to excel...and go the distance... This week, received much encouragement from Des and Xinxin, my managers. And I actually exceeded my targets for the week! Money is going to roll in because besides my work, they are going to pay me really well for doing their assignments. It's going to cost them...hahaha... I'm good! Xinxin owes me one prata and one subway. =) Looking forward to a happily hectic week. It's a happy problem to have a packed schedule when you're in the sales line.