Exchange rate

A fair exchange.

I think in this life, we are constantly exchanging things for something else that we want. Think barter trade. Think commerce and other biz terms, but to put it in a straightforward manner, we just like to exchange what we already have for the things we want. Sometimes, we also exchange things for things we don't want, not realising the importance of the exchange.

Like sometimes when I am unhappy, I do things because of my sadness not knowing that I am causing another person to be unhappy, thus spreading the unhappiness around, doubling it, making it worse. Not a good rate of exchange. Most workers exchange time and their skills for money, and exchange money for a better life, for things that sustain and propel them to greater heights, for less stress, for easier transport. Not to say that we have to spend each and every hour of our time doing something productive, that will lead to health problems that eventually we have to spend more time and effort doing something about it.

Exchange. If we view things we do as exchanges, some having greater impact than others, then it is wise not to attach emotional value to the things we do. After all, I have heard of people wanting to change job/scope/company but they slog on year after year. Why? Because of the comfort zone, their friendly colleagues, they have gotten used to wearing such and doing such that they are reluctant to leave even though they want to. I'm not discounting the importance or such deep relationships and memories, but this can be a factor that handicaps us in life. I respect those expats who can just relocate with a small suitcase of clothes and start all over again with almost nothing, no belongings, no things they are clinging to from another world. For me, I tend to be sentimental - It was with great reluctance that I parted with my Stussy bag I used to carry in secondary school during spring clean last 2 months. It has many memories for me. I still keep letters from friends, old christmas cards and etc. I can't relocate without bringing those things. But job wise for me, I think I can safely say that if a better opportunity comes along (which is very rare considering my position now) the exchange factor will be one of commerce for me.

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That aside, there are 'must-dos' in every culture, specifically mine. My darling is irritated at me for calling some of his mannerisms 'low class' once in a while. It's not purposely meant to hurt... And I don't think I'm very 'high class' either but yeah, some things are must-dos, and others are 'boo-boos'. I've drawn up some fun rules for my life for myself to fulfill in my specific culture, here!

Must-dos for spiritedly
1.Remember all my covenantal friends birthdays!Wish them, pray for them, buy them a small token of appreciation! Makes everyone happy, and a small $5 gift is inexpensive when you see the look on the person's face that you remembered their birthdays.

2.I've received treats from managers and rich ones and people who love me enough to feed me, so many times that I actually save quite a lot on food. So, I will treat people to Starbucks or any little dessert, or a meal, when we meet.

3.Send flowers for any housewarming, office opening, new colleague, old colleague coming back that sort of thing. Once again inexpensive (if you go to the right places) and fun to give plus flowers are always appreciated. Next time a bottle of wine when I know how to choose them.

4. Set fun things that enable me to save money and actually spend on the things I really want. My rules are: I'm only going to buy one pair of jeans in a year. I don't really wear jeans so this rule is necessary. So I can get more dresses! Also health rule: Eat char kway teow twice a year only (adapted from Walt's code), drink fresh fruit juice whenever possible and just make healthier food options. Having 'no-lunch lunch' actually destresses my mind because I don't have to push and shove with the lunch crowd and queue and wait for seats, plus, I have time to relax in the office, catch up on admin (it's more fun to do it alone, silently) and sms people I love.

5.Always introduce myself to new people and make light banter with them.

6.Don't make shopping my favorite pasttime. So many of us just hang at shopping malls because it's convienient, non sweaty, and... we end up shopping which is not beneficial to any relationship! Let us go to parks, take long walks by beaches, chill out at quiet cafes, bookshops, and keep the romance alive. Movies are ok maybe once a fortnight for me.

7.Make yourself happy. Many people, myself included are too hard on ourselves. We make ourselves sad by our unrealised expectations, of cramming too many things in one day and not fulfilling all our agenda, of making plans and then having to cancel because of being overbooked then feel so guilty for disappointing others and ourselves. Well, the nervousness and tension only spills over. Relax and know that in one year's time you won't even remember what happened yesterday. I always give myself small treats when I've accomplished small tasks, and of course big treats for big tasks! Maybe a trip to JB or Batam will do us good, or a small little diamond accessory - even cases for handphones, a new Muji notebook, getting your favorite drink on the way to work. Simple things to keep life balanced and cheery!

8.Thank those who have gone out of their way 'beyond the call of duty' to help you in certain ways. Maybe those who have chaufeurred you without complain, give them a box of chocolates to show you care for their petrol costs. Those who have organized things, treat them to a refreshing drink. And those who have been your punching bag, your listening ear, your tireless support that have made you a success today, never fail to be that punching bag to some other person who will need you. Let's never be selfish with our time or resources, but don't just take and take, it's time to take turns to be giving too. I've learnt a lot, one year in The Office, and over the weekend I bought Manager a plush retro Mickey - she loves the Disney character. It's big, like a one year old baby, and able to sit down! I put it on her chair. When she realised it was for her she couldn't stop beaming and asked me why I gave that... And even talked to it, asking it to guard her seat as she went out for lunch. =) It costs a small amount but the value of an unexpected 'thanks for guiding me this one year', priceless!

I have more thoughts on this ( I realised mine is all related to treating and thanking)... actually when I was almost penniless, I thought hard about the facts of life and I vowed to make it up to all those people one day. My parents who brought me up, I wish I can buy an organic farm for them to happily live amongst the nature to a ripe old age. My friends who were there during the hard times, I want to treat them to double what they have so freely given. For God who is always there, I want to give and give to the pastors, to build the building, to be a vessel of blessing. I used to be quite selfish - or really, it's bo chup. And now, I actually still am quite nonchalant about the things happening in others' lives, etc. It's time to move out of that, as I approach another year! Goodbye old habits, I've learnt to be a better person!