Diverted, diluted...

Going to look at my goals everyday.

It's amazing how a small mouth ulcer can cause one person's body to feel...argh.
The small (okay, not so small) one on my lower lip was so painful two days ago that I refrained from talking, too much. It generated over-producing of saliva - which I had to digest, every few seconds...which caused 'wind' in my intestines, causing it to bulge out... which made me feel real bad.

And I discovered...one baby ulcer at the base of my lower lip. Another one...!
It's an old wives tale that you caught ulcers from dirty food (lizards' shit and what not), no one really knows why you get ulcers, though TCM says it's due to 'heatiness'. I seldom have ulcers, this is my first time this year, so am not taking it too well. But now I know how other ulcer sufferers feel and have said a prayer for them. Poor chronic cluster-ulcer sufferers. I'm glad I only have it once or twice a year.

Plus am pretty quiet these days so I think all my friends are feeling sort of relieved. Realised that when I don't speak, I have more expression in my eyes, so maybe now I should cultivate that: speaking with my eyes. I can't do much expressions though, later all my clients think I'm batting my eyelids at them. At least, I don't pout as well...

==

Realised I haven't been doing much lately workwise, I think it's all the exhibitions and my stint at lecturing that has thrown me off-balance. And of course, the coming-to-terms with the hard life lessons of last year.

It does take awhile to get back into the flow of things. I still think it's a pretty unstable balance between work and ministry, both demands time, and effort - which makes me so tired at times. I think I need to build up on my energy level. Internally, it's always been positive. Externally, I look tired when I don't get enough sleep (it's my fault, I seem to dilly dally around the house at night doing all sorts of things, me nocturnal) I think I need toned arms to carry my bag around! Going to start on a stringent exercise regiment. Which involves two ball games, some gymming, lots of walking (which I usually do already) and some sandcastle building really.

Sandcastle building gives you really toned arms and shoulders, I can build a life sized mermaid from scratch, with nothing but my fingers and a pail of water. Looking forward, the next time I go Sentosa! =)

Life is like this, when you forget about your PASSION and FERVOR, usually you forget that you have a definitive purpose in LIFE to all that you are doing everyday... And then, the days just pass by until one day, you realise that the way you have lived recently is almost similar to the days that you have languished away, working but not really working, living but not really living. And you want to change, don't just fritter the years away until you are middle-aged but not having anything to show for it.

Met up with HK Millionaire, he said I looked more mature lately. I guess it's a compliment to me. He looks sort of haggard and thinner. Guess it's the way he pushes himself to work for his $. For me I know I can push myself too, but maybe not too much for now. After all, some spiritual wealth is more valuable to me. And I guess I am growing up, finally, after my hiatus for one year, of which, I did not accomplish much.

TO BE CONTINUED...