Likability

inadvertent likability.

I have had some deep thoughts that I find myself repeating to myself and others, in the recent spate of events where, inexplicably, I am drawn into, and play a supporting role in the soap opera.

So here, I will write my thoughts, to be internalised, because I really mean it when I write. =)

1. It's not a crime to like someone.
2. If someone likes you, you don't have to like him/her back.
3. Maybe the person doesn't really like you, but likes the presence of God in you. (Quoted, originally by Muffin.)
4. It's not your fault if someone likes you.
5. When you like someone, you don't have to BE with that person.

And Spiritedly will never tell the guy she truly likes she likes him, so too bad. Ask God. =)

I have to say I'm glad for my peers supporting me all these while. I thought that maybe one reason was because they have seen me unhappy before, and want to see me in love again, happy again. Truly, I am looking for that person that I can spend my life with and never be bored for the rest of my life, someone to make me laugh, yadda yadda. But maybe at this point, I'm not so good to be in a relationship with. And so, thanks for the encouragement but I've realised I'm not so ready yet.

I did tell God that I would start dating again in June. Not aggressively, just being more open to a fulfiling and long relationship which will lead to us fulfiling our destiny together. I'm sad because of the last one, I had harbored too much hope. I now dare to hope again, but also have many doubts, many issues. The hiatus was good -though I did go on one blind date and my Valentine's date and one sort-of thingy.

By now, I should have had enough life experiences to go off the chart.
I think I just want to be happy, lead a godly life, and things just falling into place.

Sometimes it's not that way though. Keep trusting in God.

Through liking someone, we find out more about ourselves. The things we can live with, for the rest of our lives. The peacefulness in each other's presence. The way you cannot imagine how life was like before he/she stepped into your life. And the ability to change yourself in a way no one else can make you to.

It's the process of liking someone that is more important than the final result. Sometimes people think that, in order to be happy, I must be with that person.
And they fail to enjoy the journey, the sweet moments in life.

And it doesn't have to be painful. If you like someone with the intention of being with that person as the main goal, sometimes, you are missing the point.

I would say very honestly, that I like people (guys) quite easily. I mean, ask Kie, he has been listening to my ramblings since Day One. And I also used to be quite open to a few guys, in fact even for those boring ones, I was polite and gave them a chance, too. But it takes that special extra to change it into... LOVE.

==

I shared with Snowman something that Huntley mentioned to me (which I thought about deeply. Am in deep thought mode these days.)

In some chapters of your Life, there comes along some people who will change the way you think, and maybe, they are there, or they are close to you for that short while, that few months...and then they leave, or things change and you can no longer be that close.

These people shape you emotionally, and each time you look back at that chapter, you will be reminded of how you managed to live through it, and how deep the impact of their care and concern was. Some people shape our emotions this way and our life is changed, because of them.

So no matter where I am end of the year or even next year; or anytime in the future, this time is meaningful to me. It is true that when a chapter closes, a new one opens.

I hope that you will remember me, always remember what I said on 050407 maundy thursday. God really told me to say that to you. I wanted to cry too, because I also had a call...but no one reminded me. When God used me to touch your heart for Him again, He also used me to remind myself, that I still have the anointing. I still can do great things for him. He can still use me to speak into other lives, like I have spoken into yours. So accept that word, and in the future, when you are a bold, radical leader, I hope that you will remember me in your heart.