*...a purposeful life...

Pause. Put down your stones. Put down your masks.

Being in this new cell has taught me many things. Things about myself that I have previously not known. There's neverending things to learn, and this period, I've learnt so much, it's almost as if I'm learning how to live, again.

I've learnt how to emotionally connect with people, and I've learnt that doing so does not empty you - it actually empowers you with more, more emotions, more passion, more love.

And I never realised that being so open about my 'fleshly sins', issues and struggles have led to people being drawn to me, just because of my sincerity. It's been years since I took of my mask and been who I am, just like this, so thank you to all those who have seen me, through, and offered a helping hand and not throw stones at me. You know, it's the only way to live. Without masks, without fanciful words that sounds impressive but mean nothing - without tonnes of people who know you, but no one who really cares enough to meet you at your darkest times. I've learnt that long ago to put my mask down, even though at times it is tempting to put it back on again... In the area where I work, most people have to put on masks, and most of the time it's for a good reason. But what I'm afraid is that the mask becomes a part of my psyche, a part of my persona that I cannot rid.

One day if I start talking all high and mighty and have the 'sales gleam' in my eye, please give me a slap.

Are you a mask-wearer?
Wearing masks may give you lots of company, but they won't last long. To really draw people - we have to be human enough.

==

Are you a stone thrower?

Imagine with me... you have a friend, someone who goes to the same church as you do. (It could possibly be ME.)

This woman had been a young bride with dreams about what married life could be like. She had many dreams, of praying, worshipping together with her husband, of raising a family. But maybe things did not turn out the way she had planned. Somewhere along the way, she had sinned. It all started out innocently.

A harmless schoolwork assignment.

She had asked for help from a man older than herself, and very much suave and conversational. He seemed to want to listen to the things she had to say. Which was a powerful thing for an aching heart. At first it was all quite innocent. Then one day they crossed a line. Maybe it was a shared look that implied a certain desire. Maybe it was the sharing of secrets that violated her fiance's confidence and trust.

Then one day, she crossed a line. A passionate kiss in the car as he drove her home. But she chose.
Then she started crossing other lines, until this became a full blown affair. She entered into a state of apiritual despair, though she didn't know it yet. As long as it was secret, it was as if she were living two lives in different worlds.

Sin unchecked always leads to more sin.

She used to be a truthful person. The first time she lied to her fiance about where she was going so she could be with this man, her heart was pounding, she was blushing, and she was sure he could sense she wasn't telling the truth.

And each time she went to church and served in the worship team, on stage as a singer, singing to hundreds of people, she was sure God would strike her dead with a bolt of lightning. But no one found out. There was no lightning. God did nothing. And it continued on, as she tried not to think too much about God. She tried to think about other things during the prayers.

She has become a hypocrite. Then comes one day - she is with this man that she has been with. This day, it happens. There have been people watching and waiting. They seize her and take her to Jesus. She screams, cries, begs for mercy... ...

She would give anything if she could go back to where she first crossed the line. But she can't. You can never go back. She sees her sin, exposed before everyone. Her Sectional Leaders and her Pastor whom she has loved so much. Her members. And she suddenly realised why she's here: she chose it. She chose this life.

That's not all there is to it. She was hurt and wounded and had needs that went unmet. But she is not just a victim. She made a thousand choices that led, inevitably, inexorably to a moment like this.

(To be continued...)

Taken some liberties from one of the chapters from John Ortberg's 'Everybody's normal until you get to know them', a book you must read. (In Penelope's book collection)