overwrought

Started - and finished reading "Dear John" by Nicholas Sparks today. He's quite a famous author and 'The Notebook' ranks highly on my favorite books. I'm quite a reader, and with this month's paycheck I've bought 6 books this month. Plan to spend quiet weekends reading vicariously but in busy busy sg, I seem to never find the chance. I'm exhausted. I've worked - or had things to attend to almost every weekend that I feel that I've never really 'rested' this year. I guess it's a similar story for the many people who really have fulfilling jobs. I begin to wonder if I'm turning into someone who cannot escape from the routine, and can I stay positive in the midst of all the bad stuff? There's been more good than bad, but some things that are going on, I can't help but worry.

The book 'Dear John' helps me to understand Captain Zero a little better. And in some ways, understand why I didn't use to understand him - and people that are like him. For a long time now, I've always felt more comfortable baring my heart to rational, logical people. People who can think in the way I do and respond in the way I expect. People whom I can spend hours with sitting and looking at some scenery and feel utterly at peace, discussing philosophical stuff and analysing, almost disecting lives and personalities.

But when you are given a chance to glimpse into another person's world, that little glimpse may just change your life forever.

It's so easy to judge things by our own human perception.

It's so easy to say, ah, I cannot communicate with this person. This person has some problem. I cannot understand this person...

I'm not just talking about my situation here but I guess everyone feels misunderstood at times. But unlike people who try to win people on their side and justify their actions and sayings, I don't even bother to defend myself.

Maybe I've just met too many of these self-centred people. And I also don't see the need to bother when I could be doing something else like happily working at fruitful matters. I digress, the point of what I want to say is that the book, the story, like the other Nicholas Sparks stories, always reminds me of the truth.

The truth is, we should love God more. We should love each other more. We should love, without having to apologize, or letting our pride get in the way, or making it an obligation or a responsibility.

When a story touches you in a way like it did to me, a part of you changes like never before.

I'm sick and the worst thing is I don't even know what I'm down with. Maybe it's just exhaustation. I don't want to over-analyse and study all the diseases online and worry that I have fibromylagia or ...whatever. I'm a fan of the tv show House, and I do have worrisome thoughts, CSI-style. It's just minor non debilitating symptoms so I shouldn't have any cause for concern.

Still, being healthy is really important to me.
Being ok with yourself is, too.

I've met so many good people this week (while filming and having meetings) I think the world is not such a bad place after all. And while I still can, I'm going to smile at as many people as possible.