Random picture. But the story behind the author is interesting...like how she never fell in or out of love and yet could write such a story - she was just out of school, I think, when she wrote that.Which goes to show that life experiences aren't all that, after all?
I wrote last week in 'shared narratives' on how I would be totally freaked out if I met Mr A, most unexpectedly, for instance, while at the market in drab homewear and uncombed hair.
Well...
Following some unheard of cosmic law, the unexpected always happens right? And last week, whom should I purview, sitting at the next table, having dinner, in one of Singapore's oldest residential estates?
If what I write always comes true like that (although, I was quite nicely dressed)...what should I write about?
Ms Cheerful asked me today,
'Remember that day you were telling me about the coincidences you had with Mr A? What did you think of them... I've always thought that there are no coincidences, that it is always God at work... ...'
A small part of me echoes that, too. Yes! Orchestrated by God, how wonderful...then , isn't it common that we would want to believe it to be true?
*small sigh*
I now know that there is a good point to the uncertainty of things, 'the good of not knowing'. Imagine then, how vastly different my life would have turned out if I had made some choices (that to tell the truth, were not difficult to make.)
If I hadn't attended that event (and kenna sabotaged to be onstage.)
If my boss hadn't left (and I needed a shoulder to cry on.)
If Mr A did not appear in a singular photo with me in that whole event.
If I had not tagged him.
If he did not private message me.
If I did not reply.
If he was not mistakenly thinking that I had added him into my Tag team because I cc'ed him...
Then we would not pray for each other...and share...and, hee hee hee...
Anyways, here's something I read today:
The Good of Not Knowing (by John Ortberg, my fave author, in 'God is Closer than you think')
George MacDonald wrote a book about a pastor named Thomas Wingfold, who is troubled by doubt and his inability to KNOW God is present. He decides to make his life an experiment in seeking simply to follow Jesus in spite of his doubts. At one point he is caring for a dying man who has come to faith through his influence. "I wish I could come back after I die," the man tells Wingfold, "so you could be delivered from doubts and know FOR SURE about the faith."
Then Wingfold says the words that have stayed with me ever since.
"No - even if you could, I wouldn't want you to. I would not see him one moment before he thought best. I'd rather have THE GOOD OF NOT KNOWING"
...It has never occurred to me before that there might be a reason for uncertainty - a good of not knowing. I thought of that line again years later when my daughter came into my room. She had applied to college and was desperate to find out if she had gotten in to her top choice.
It struck me, as we talked, that the 'uncertainty period' was a unique opportunity for growth. If she were able to live with confidence and joy even when she did not yet know if she'd get what she hoped for, a kind of strength would be formed in her soul that would never get formed there if she found out the answer right away.
There is a good of not knowing.
=) And with that, I lay my thoughts at peace.
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