I think this is in one of the Pacific Islands, probably Vanuatu or New Caledonia.Okay, so we have exchanged more than 100 smses. Not that I'm keeping count; but my stupidphone (opposite of smartphone) can only keep up to 500 smses and it will blink 'full'.
I will be really dismayed when I have to delete them.
Mr A is someone whose 'action speaks louder than words' - not that he is very action-packed, haha, but the way he speaks out demonstrates his 'care and concern'. Like once when we were in the car, and it went over a bump, bumpily. Being ever blissful and happy in his presence, I was unconcerned. But he gently apologized for the bumpy ride. Awww. And lately in his smses, his concern from a quiet, sincere heart just moves me. In little ways, like yesterday, asking if I'm caught in the heavy afternoon rain ( I was out on a recee.) Or during mealtimes, smsing if I had already taken my lunch, or dinner. When we came back in the morning from Seletar Reservoir, it had started raining - I was totally fine with dashing to my lift lobby, but dear Mr A went to grab a brolly from the back of the car - and got his back drenched in the process. (As, his car had auto-lock and I had to spend some time figuring how to open the back door.) I was so touched I wanted to, umm, wipe him dry... but I refrained. Haha.
I've always wished for a man like that. Even without speaking it out, sometimes we both know what each other is thinking about - or, when I have some not-so-good opinions which I diplomatically don't wish to express, he will somehow sense the things left unsaid, and keep saying 'tell me' adamantly till I accede. I appreciate these little things, and I firmly believe that it's the little things that make or break it. It's still strange times, when we find ourselves comfortable yet unfamiliar with each other. On one hand, he's the closest person in my life right now. On the other, is it a matter of too close, too soon? While I prefer to remain idealistic and calmly state that I do not want to give any time frame to... getting to know and understand and love someone, neither do I want to venture into unchartered and therefore riskier waters. I find myself missing him when we do not communicate, be it on the phone, or in other ways... just a little longing. And I think he does, too - last two nights have been nice long-ish talks on the phone - I always feel bad for disrupting his sleep pattern, Mr A goes to bed at 1115 everyday, whereas me, can sleep later as I hit office later. And he feels bad too, because I get quite 'high' from talking to him, and most of the time find it hard to drift to sleep after. Being an extrovert I think I suck all his life energy, thus he sleeps peacefully while...I just can't! But still, the happy bubble floats to the next day.
I think I can survive without sleep as long as I have love.
Hahahahahha!
A wise lady whom I've always looked up to once gave me this advice last year.
I've never forgotten it, really.
If there is someone you have in mind, or maybe the person has you in mind... she told me to ask me this question: Do you foresee yourself spending a lifetime with him?
It's a really simple question really, and it shouldn't have to be told to us... but I think all of us grow a little blind, and deaf, and stupid when matters of the heart are involved. Sometimes we get a little insecure, or lost, or lonely, or feel that we have no better choice. But we always have a better choice - even if it means being single 'at this age!?!', I think it's better off than making a lifetime mistake. And I've had plenty of opportunities to make this kind of mistakes. As what Alkitab proclaimed into my life, "I'm so happy for you! Don't you trust God that He has a better one in store for you? And see, you've met him!" =)
Sometimes we don't realize that if the person is someone who... keeps making us worry about them by suddenly disappearing, or not showing that they are someone you can trust, or someone who is alright really, but there is a glaring fact you choose to omit, like - hey, there is an obvious language barrier, or certain things you can't stand about him, his couch-potatoness ('Eh, you need umbrella? Get it yourself la') , his alpha-maleness('Carry my sunglasses for me. Carry my backpack for me. Go fetch me the newspaper.') , his bitterness ('Why do you keep bringing up the past, things that happened donkey years ago???'), his quietness ('Eh, no response? Say something?? Am I talking to myself again... ')... etc... will you be able to stand it for a lifetime? ...Really?
But this Mr A, even though none of us have broached the topic yet (and if it does not come to pass, I still confirm I am assured and submit myself to His Will)... we have made small faux pas sometimes, like talking about future trips we will make together, where we envision him diving and me, reading a book on the beach and catching salamanders...or cooking for each other, he is going to make me spaghetti and meatballs... and I have to whip up my clan's specialty, hainanese chicken rice.
I feel like... hey, we will never run out of topics to talk about despite talking endlessly, for days, on a deserted island, etc. Last night I was mumbling, sleepily, to him, 'Umm, how nice if I don't have to work tomorrow... ...
... ...Then, I can talk to you until the next morning.'
=)
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