Just out of curiousity I counted ‘the days’ and we are 136 days together!
136 days, seems so long. I think you cannot truly put a time-cap of measuring relationships.
So many people are searching online for some self-help about Christian relationships, here’s my previous posting about our first Pastor’s meetup session.
http://spiritedly3.blogspot.com/2009/06/pastors-talk-and-relationship-advice.html
The Boyfriend and I were supposed to meet with Pastor monthly, but due to the ‘peak’ we could only meet him early this month. We had a nice lunch and talked about our relationship. The honeymoon period ‘over’, we sat down for some interesting tidbits.
Pastor again asked us about what were the factors that drew us to each other. He said that we should constantly keep it in our minds, and ‘add to the list’. As we grew in this relationship, we can find out more positive / and negative attributes of the other party. We should remember what brought us together, it is an integral part of keeping the love in our relationship. A really good point – I don’t (I hope I NEVER) find myself wondering why I’m with such a man or why did I choose him/vice versa, but I think sometimes good traits may come across as negative in a more low-emotional state… so for me, I should not let that happen. In a low-state recently, I’ve been given to whinings and lying slumped in one corner with bleak upsetting thoughts. It’s just a phase… …
We wanted to open a joint-account, we asked Pastor’s advice on it. Reason being, I’m not so good at squirreling away money for rainy days, I’ve always admired those who can. My brain keeps thinking I need a new (fill in the blanks). So I thought it would be a good idea to start saving xxx amount, I just hand it over to The Boyfriend and forget about it while he settles it. Eventually when our salary rises we can save more, too. Interestingly, Pastor said, ‘not a good idea’. He advocated only starting on this plan when we are married. Also, arguments about spending can creep up into a new relationship. That, we foresaw as well and heeded his advice. He advised me to learn about financial stuffs, it’s a ‘life skill’ in that sense. Something I’m weak at, I have to work on it. I’m always depending on friends advice for this area, I think it’s time to read up and be more well-educated in this area as well!
Lastly… he left us with good advice about Purity. Of course you may expect that a Pastor or a church leader will talk about these kind of stuffs. But I think many chose to remain quiet, perhaps they don’t dare to interfere or talk with conviction. Knowing Pastor’s background, I respect him for sharing with me. And as young, ‘frisky’ adults, we do have challenges. So… I think all girls think that purity is important, of course, and one wish is that, how we wish we can save that special time when we are married to the special one. It is really something special, and we always wish it will turn out well. But let’s not make it only a ‘wish’, we have to take precautions and steps to make it a reality. I really appreciate such advice and will welcome it if he does speak about it every single time we meet.
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I read with interest the article about CPF on yesterday’s front page news. To tell the truth, until recently, I didn’t even give two hoots about the ‘balance amount’ in my CPF. It just seems like so long away, I’m sure I will have quite a sum when I reach retirement age. But like most people, I plan to retire early. And there are ‘should knows’ that I have been neglecting when it comes to planning my ‘career advancements’. I am not very career-focused or ambituous (not so hardworking as well) and for the early stage of my working days, I was too busy with ministry, involved in cell-planting, that I was grateful for any job that could give me enough time with my ministry and a decent salary, something livable, is enough. I’m not hankering for the hi-lifestyle, just the usual Singaporean desires of a small apartment, travel 2 times a year, shopping and eat out at restaurants during weekends. I read that some people have saved around $100,000 in their CPF at aged 50 plus, I asked The Boyfriend to compute that for me in terms I can understand.
Well, it means that, IF I contribute about $1K to CPF each month, not considering interest rates and all… I would get that amount in… 24 years.
24 years! That got me thinking, seriously about my career prospects. If, compared to my peers I knew that I am getting shortchanged in terms of AWS, bonuses, and even medical benefits (adds up to A LOT in the long run), and their companies (MNCs or Stat boards) are giving them such benefits/compensation, I think it does add up to a lot in the long-term. Some of my friends revealed that even though the job scope stucks in their stat board, at least they got pro-rated bonuses 3 months out of this year. And others shared that medical benefits is a must, whether it’s a claimable thing (up to certain amount) or company doctor. Because ultimately, I want to stay for a long-term (5 years), work hard and contribute to the company in many ways, and be rewarded for it, too. Because I am smart, I should now not think of ‘fluffy’ things but instead, of ways I can better my life through wise choices in this area. I had hoped that each job I had, I would be able to stay at least 3- 5 years, but somehow, either the scope, or the industry, did not work out for me. It’s always been said, don’t cheat your boss by doing ‘other things’ during work
(sideline? Or playing on FB, hee)… I’m starting to think that I should not cheat myself as well!
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