Am getting a bit panicky. Especially since the job I so want seems so close but seems that the door might be shutting on it. Sure there are other opportunities around. But I want this so much, for once, a job that I feel is designed, for me. I like EVERYTHING about the job scope and I can do well in the everything which I like... which is more than what I can say for other jobs. Before finding this job I prayed that if it's for me, let the door be open. So there were open doors, first interview, and second interview (a month later! Isn't it long?) and now I am dying with the excruciating wait. I've prayed and called everyone to pray. I've gotten a bit of a corporate wardrobe (2 pants 4 skirts 1 coat and some blouses)...Dear God!
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Watched 'Invictus' with TheBoyfriend. A must-watch. Clint Eastwood shows has that luminous propensity to it that makes you laugh and cry, identify with the characters, all the characters in some way that makes them endear themselves to you, even the little black boy listening in to the police car's radio transmission. And while you watch this show you are faced with the questions you don't dare question yourself about, like a deep seated apartheid mentality.Of couse maybe we are born with the right skin tone, thankfully we are not 'darker', but are we discriminatory unjustifiably? I love the way the movie is being filmed and it's not easy to film sports scenes, trust me.
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Reading 'Chasing Daylight' by Eugene O Kelly, he was the CEO (US) of KPMG when he had to step down, diagnosed with only 3 months to live. In the book he describes 'a perfect moment', the time you have with a friend, or saw something magnificent, and everything then was perfect. I hope to count such perfect moments in 2010. A beautiful sunset (or rise, if I can make it) that God created just for me. A landscape to view which you can only view by trekking for some hours or driving some hundred miles.
And I've started to enjoy the Perfect Moments.
-Playing couple game night : Rummytub and Blokus whiling away the first hours of the year. Also since we were at McDonald's, I was one of the first to buy the Doraemon 'rabbit' toy, which was later sold out during the week, which added increasingly to my glee.
-When TheBoyfriend gives me a massage : Unlike most guys, TheBoyfriend enjoys wearing couple tees, and giving massages and is actually quite good at it. And very willingly wants to serve me in this area, heh heh. He even bought a Bodyshop moisturiser for my pleasure, heh heh! I am very blessed indeed.
-I wanted to buy a pair of shoes, corporate shoes in black or brown, like a court shoe, but not so boring. And comfortable. You can imagine it's hard to find! I went to Naturalizer where the shoes are so comfy but rather ex ($150 and up) but I don't mind for a shoe I would wear almost everyday in a corporate setting. However, all the designs I liked did not have my size and I grudgingly walked out. Later, in that same shopping mall, in a shoe shop I would have never set foot in but somehow I did (Everbest), I found the perfect pair. And it was on 20% discount which made it about 1/3 the price of the former, AND the shop assisted affixed it with additional comfort pads for the sole, as the shoe was slightly large for me (it was their smallest size... are my feet really that small?!) It was a Perfect Moment when I spied and tried the shoe, and later walked out. I think the satisfaction beats buying 10 shoes you don't really love.
The author of the book also writes about unwinding relationships, friends he had to catch up with for one last time. And throughout the course of this 2010, I also want to catch more of the people I would like to spend time with, and make the reverse also true. Without meaning to sound mean, there are some people I hang out with (and you will agree with me on this) just because they are more proactive in meeting us, or they happen to live or work nearby. But if you think about it sincerely, they aren't the people you would most like to spend time with. (This ideology also applies to holidays or where we spend our weekends, the most often-gone place may not be the place we ideally want to spend time at).
And spending time with those means that we neglect to spend time with the ones we care about more. He writes that in the last decade of his work, he only found time to have weekday lunch with his wife.... TWICE. In the last decade. And he reminisces that if he had lived the way he did for the next decade, things would be exactly the same, until he found out that he had 3 months to live, and so his upcoming death changed his life. For me, I innerly lament that some people whom I'd love to meet more often, I meet seldom-ly in the last year. So, I'm going to make an effort this year.
It's a good book which we all should read before it gets too late - oh, and especially hard to find. Despite it being a NY bestseller, I think I only saw it at Pageone Vivocity.
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