'Ren Yuan'

There's this chinese word, 'Ren Yuan', which loosely translated, means 'favor with people', or a likeable personality.

No English description can do it justice, because I think it means more than favor, more than being likeable. If you use another religion's term, it is 'an enlightened being', some people who are far ahead the 'how to win friends and influence people-curve'.

The Boyfriend tells me I have it. Ren Yuan. I was chatting this week about what defines that. Not to be unbearably thick-skinned, but I think one of the factor is having good looks. Not TOO good-looking, ironically, it works the other way and people will hate you for being TOO good looking. (Yes girls hate guys who are too good looking too.) Good-looking enough, or memorably good-looking so that if you are just a passing acquaintance at events, people will still remember you, and remember a favorable impression as well. The worst thing is not being remembered for anything, or being remembered by anyone.

Memorably good-looking.

We have a mutual friend who works in sales, however, she doesn't have this factor. In fact, although she has a degree, I don't think she will do well in interviews, somehow, people just have a bad impression of her, an impression which truthfully, might be worse than what she is in reality. Somehow when she calls you, you feel tense and give a fake smile... such people shouldn't be in sales. She's not ugly, in fact, may be above average, but somehow you just give an inner cringe when you see her approaching.

The other factor to 'Ren Yuan' is having an 'enlightened' key factor of some sort. To be liked and be friends with virtually almost everyone, any race, age, or religion.

I mentioned previously that when I was in Melaka those years ago, on my own, exploring the town that wasn't yet so commercially developed, there were many strangers who offered me rides in their car, stopped to make sure I wasn't lost despite me just standing on a street and not asking for directions... I thought they were just genuinely nice but now, I also realise that not everyone would be given the same treatment in the same scenario.

For those who always complain they aren't being treated fairly, I think it's the 'Ren Yuan' essence that comes into play. Like some people, despite their good looks, they make it into the category of 'you either love them or hate them'. They always wonder why so many people hate them. Despite being nice and all.

But for those with 'Ren Yuan', virtually everyone likes them.

A celebrity that comes to mind is Utt. Somehow, I've always asked around, and everyone seems to like him, me included. Because of his Ren Yuan, he doesn't have much gossip or bad press surrounding him or even people who want to lash out at his decision. I really can't find anyone who hates him. Zoe Tay is another one if you stop to think about it...