Saturday, March 01, 2008

a positive scripting


Spent hours talking to JC yesterday. He's leaving to Oz for a job posting. Will miss him, but at the same time, happy that he has this opportunity to go.

This week I've had many realizations.

This month has been loooooong. Too long!
My friends have gone to Segamat and I can't go, this weekend I actually am at THREE roadshows/networking events. Sabotaged! But I must say that yesterday's one was fine, met some friends who brightened up my day. I actually met six friends due to the roadshows, so I'm glad to have caught up with some of them. Good friends are those who want to help you and see you succeed, in every area of your life. So I was happy although exhausted from all the non-stop talking and standing up wearing corporate clothes.

Read something (Still reading '7 habits) that really made me think for some time.
Covey writes,

Most people are a function of the social mirror, scripted by the opinions, the perceptions, the paradigms of the people around them. As interdependent people, you and I come from a paradigm which includes the realization that we are a part of that social mirror.

We can choose to reflect back to others a clear, undistorted vision of themselves. We can affirm their proactive nature and treat them as responsible people. We can help script them as principle-centered, value-based, independent, worthwhile individuals. And with the abundance mentality, we realize that giving a positive reflection to others in no way diminishes us. It increases us because it increases the opportunities for effective interaction with other proactive people.

At some time in your life, you probably had someone believe in you when you didn't believe in yourself. They scripted you. Did that make a difference in your life?


Grant and I was just sharing on the common values or ideals that we have. Some people seem to want to appear 'close' with us, associating with us and giving others the impression that we are close. However, we have recognized such people, from our past experiences, as people that we would not like to share too much of our lives with, because, besides being known to 'sabotage their friends', they seem to want to know too much about our lives, for motives we cannot comprehend.

But as these people are friends with our other friends, we must be diplomatic towards them. I think I've learnt that I've wasted some time making friends with people who aren't really worth it, and at this point of time in our lives, Grant and I perhaps choose to be mean, but to protect ourselves from these people. Having a meal with such lowlife is not on our agenda right now.

AND WE DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR IT.

And though many would not be able to understand that, I believe that one day, they will. And if they had to choose, I hope that they choose to protect their friends instead of putting their friends in a difficult position. Spending time with the right people is an integral part of shaping one's character, so is decision-making. Ultimately some decisions unwisely made will cause others to be affected.

I've also met up with Huntley last evening and also with Shanghai Boy, the two friends I can call my own, in The Office. Huntley left The Office to work for a local bank, and we just shared about what we have learnt in work this month. It's hectic for him, he says that he only had one weekend of rest, the rest of the weekend was filled up with work. That's crazy. And we shared about how our learning experiences at The Office really helped us now in our new places. For me, I realized that I could meet and communicate what I needed effectively to the right people, and that is really an important part of work for me. But I also miss the slacker-times where we could play golf in the mornings and go for long kopi breaks in the afternoons.

Shanghai Boy (who will be appearing with me in my Travel show), is someone that I instantly take to, at first sight. He is those type of well-brought up people who is polite, and friendly, and charming, and open to new things, and likes to laugh. I find myself makng fun of him all the time, and he seems to relish it. Most of all, there is that wistfulness about life that we both share. Can't really explain it, but I am glad to have met someone like him in The Office. Some people in life you know are good for you, and you can always learn something from them.

I realized also that I don't have any complaining, whiny, self-centred friends though I do meet some in my social circle, and I realized that, THAT'S AMAZING! Because some of my friends have been through worse shit that no one ever wants to go through, but they smile everyday and you think they have it made till they share their story. I guess that also explains why I instinctively warm up to some and others, I am barely able to talk to them.

For those people, George Bernard Shaw writes:

This is the true joy in life - that being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. That being a force of nature, instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It's a sort of splendid torch which I've got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.






Earn thy neighbor's love.