It's like that with me, all the time. I get jolted - and I mean jolted by God, when He wants me to... should I say embark on the next phase of my life?
I was hesitating to put what I saw into words, and to put the words to my friends, knowing that many would be skeptical, or cynical, or both.
But I was thinking that, even if one person was touched, and somehow, believed again in the awesome power of God, then I don't mind the skeptics and the cynics. After all, I was just relating what I saw, believe it... or not.
=)
Thanks Lilo for the nice reply by the way.
"kudos!
Great testimony, it reminds me of how i should be pure in my heart so that i can "see" God, not because of seeing, but just wanting. :) Great testimony! Thanks for sharing, it really blessed my heart!!
Would u allow me to share this (without quoting your name) to my cell - main point is to wan to have a pure heart of God.
Hm! Those who are pure in the heart will see GOD! and its possible!! because you have done it before i can tell myself and others that I can see God! :D :D :D"
V encouraged.
And thanks Zero for pointing out that P Dowdy's sermon on Sunday related to my sharing in ways only God can fathom. I wasn't there but I shall download it.
So here goes.
Wherever in the world you are reading this, it is my heartfelt wish to let you know that God is beside you, too. And cares for your heartfelt desires. Immensely!
=====
In the last quarter of last year, I had depressive emotions due to certain situations I was in, and also because of my bad relationship choices and experiences in the past 2-3 years. It affected me to the extent whereby I could not work or do anything constructive, was weeping everyday and chronically ill for about 2 months. I was advised to attend DEW as it would be helpful, and I agreed.
About 3 weeks ago, I attended P Dennis' sermon on Authority Part 1, with my best friend Derrick who was sitting beside me. During the altar call prayer, I suddenly opened my eyes and looked beside him (he was seated next to the aisle) and looking down I saw a pair of odd, triangular shaped, blue feet. It did not look human to me, so I glanced to the side and found to my surprise that the body was transparent, although I had the sense of it being huge. The feet itself were huge, triple the size of my friend's, and it was a sky blue color - non solid, more of a 'difference clouds' effect. I only saw that for a split second. Big, blue, huge. And definitely non-human.
Later I just brushed it away attributing it to perhaps a reflection as we were seated quite near the screens. But I was also reminded that I would not open my eyes midway of prayer normally, unless I was prompted to. So, I asked church leaders and was directed to tell P Dennis himself. But we had no clue what it was or represented.
Last week, I attended DEW teaching (I went for ministry before teaching so already had about 4 sessions of counseling) and on Friday evening's ministry, there was an altar call for us, regarding God's love. Along with the rest, I went up. The DEW senior lady who prayed for me began with, "God loves you very much." In my mind, I was thinking, "Yeah OK, I know that. How very typical to say something like that."
But what she said next totally blew my mind.
She followed with,
"The way God will show His love for you,
He will show Himself to you.
First you will see His feet,
and the outline of His body."
When she said that, something inside of me broke and I just wept and wept. I could not believe what she said, yet she had said exactly how I had seen Him, 2 weeks earlier. It was like the old song which me and my best friend loved to sing together while walking along the road towards church: "Just one glimpse of His glory... ...And I will never be the same"
I really saw Him just for a split second.
As I cried to Him, my frustrations, fears, everything, was being pulled out and dealt with. It was like experiencing God's UNCONDITIONAL love for the first time, all over again.
On the way home, I couldn't stop crying tears of joy.
I remember that for the longest time, I always wanted to see God. Just to see God. I've never wanted to be meek to inherit the earth, but what I did want was to see God. "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God." Just a month ago, on my blog, I wrote in response to Trinity's bulletin handout:
Sunday, March 16, 2008
pure in heart
Read this in The Church's bulletin handout, about how 'those who are pure in heart will see God.'
For me, this is the only 'Beautitude' that I can remember, perhaps because I like it the best! Well... I've always wanted to see God. I don't have any fears or worries about seeing Him. Maybe because for as long as I can remember, I can sense the presence of God around me, and I always feel blessed, somehow. It's hard not to acknowledge God when almost all of your prayers have been answered.
I like the part where it says:
'Let me start with a definition. The word 'pure' can mean 'without contamination'. A person who is pure in heart will therefore be able to see God where others may not. And will be able to hear Him when others cannot. Or they may be able to talk to Him in a way that others wish they could.
... I want to see God.'
But I always thought that I was too sinful and would not be able to see Him.
In my Bible this verse reads
You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
On hindsight, it is thanks to DEW that I am able to see God - once all my past sinfulness, and strongholds were dealt with - I was made pure - inside. In fact, that week, although I did not realise, I was in as good a state as I could possibly get, in terms of purity. I'm still overwhelmed that I could be able to see God - just for a split second.
=)
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