questioned

I built some small sandcastle...

When I wrote your name on the sand.

Quite like most young lovers were wont to do - I wrote your name in the sand.

Pantai Lanjut, the beach where I had spent most of my childhood memories, one of the most unspoilt shores on the east coast of the Peninsula I was familar with; where all the 'restorans' in the nearby towns of Kuala Rompin and Mersing offered decent, unbelievably tasty food at unbelievably low prices. That beach was the place I spent the better part of my weeknd, missing you - not wanting to admit that I was, missing you.

At first, I wrote your name, z--- in font size 300, in caps - Your name looks better in caps. And then I added a 'heart' in front.
Followed by 'i'.

I HEART Z---.

But, I was never one to say; or do, (or write) something I did not feel wholeheartedly - the unspoken curse of a thinker woman, I added additional words.

Perhaps, the feeling of love, trust and respect I knew I already had just did not translate to a proclaimation of an 'I LOVE YOU' on the beach of my sweet memories; despite the fact that there weren't anyone around to witness it - I was the only one around for miles, save the little sand crabs and a much bigger one I saw everyday chasing the waves that lapped on the shore. It reminded me of Mr Krabs, somehow - I couldn't help saying to him 'Hi Mr Krabs!' in my best impersonation of Spongebob.

So it was written on the sand,
'DO I HEART Z---?'

The addition of 'Do', and '?' seemed so...looming, especially the '?', it seemed to be mocking the inner sanctums of my soul.

I stared at what I had written for a long time, hoping that somehow a powerful wave would wipe it away, along with my troublesome thoughts.

That question shall be left unanswered for now.
Some questions need no answers.

Maybe missing someone equals loving someone, or worrying too much about someone signifies that you care, more than you think, more than you know, more than you care to write about.

Endless stretch of sand and sky... and you're the only one on the beach


The relaxing path to the honeymooner suite... (I din stay there)


the path leads to this beautiful place...


view from garden of honeymooner suite!


honeymooner suite...immediately feel so romantic, having a house with such greenery...


Casaurinas - natural, not planted, line the sandy beach...


every angle is scenic - spot the tiny man and son - the only people i've spotted at the beach during my days there


more casaurina trees...


i just love the ocean spray...


Slow, lapping waves swishing...


Endless stretch of sand and sky... and you're the only one on the beach

Ok, back to reality.

taman sinn, ujong pasir in melaka, a nice cosy terraced house.

Living in a city sure clutters my mind up. Maybe some don't realise it, but I guess I was born with a bit of the countryside in me. I love roadtrips really, a journey of 5 or 8 hours by bus seems exciting, compared to daily drudgery.

So from time to time I like to be alone, or with a companion, just sitting and contemplating life. Sometimes I think I think too much about life, about issues, that it just knocks people out when I talk about it, and they reply, oh, I haven't really thought much about that before. Its times like these when I wish I was simpler, or rather, that the world was. My world is, anyways, and the entities that reside in it.

And in faraway places the sunsets always seems more beautiful.

I dropped by Melaka over the weekend, arrived on Friday just as the sun was setting; a beautiful chrome yellow mixed with blue hues. Chester's back, so having missed the chance to see him the last time round, I immediately booked a bus up. We've been pals for 5 years now and I'm glad to say that the emails on Mondays keep me sane. And it's also nice to blurt out all your secret dreams and fears to a friend who can only offer you words of comfort over the email. Life experiences mature people, but only those who let those experiences mature them. At least, for the people who think about it. As he sails around the world, I'm glad to share in a part of his life, and make the loneliness seem a bit more bearable with an email each week.

And I love his town too. Some places, once you go to it, you identify with it somehow. I've always felt sort-of at home here. The people are so friendly that everywhere you go, you feel as though you've made a friend. The last time round, I've made so many friends. This time too, I've met a couple. And the strangest thing is meeting someone who ALREADY knows you. Well, I do try to keep a low profile, but at times my reputation precedes me. Haha! Not funny but I did meet a guy , Ches' friend who knows me. So he goes, Oh, you are the Rachel cell leader from Trinity church! And I cover my face with my hand, shaking my head in dismay. It turns out that his sister and brother-in-law was recommended to my cell. (They work here, live in Bedok.) So even though we've never met, and I've never seen them, they have heard about me, or at least, my cell. Not bad for a 3 month old cell...I just hope that there won't be any strangers approaching me in Melaka the next time I go up saying, hey, you are that cell leader... ... It's really a compliment but I'd like to remain low profile...

And I went to 2 churches in Melaka over the weekend too, it was great. Just a wonderful opportunity to see how other assembly churches conduct their ministry and all. Muffin was right, all assembly churches have the SAME tithe envelope, right down to building pledge and all. I consider myself blessed to be able to visit so many churches in Malaysia, have been to P Ong Sek Liang's one as well as a really dynamic one in Kuching, and of course the one my uncle planted in Skudai. So attending Bethel Church and Calvary Life Assembly was a real treat for me!

Ches lives in a beautiful house. I don't mean big, but kinda of the right size. Like those retro ones we see in Chip Bee Gardens, white terraced with glass shuttered windows, a low white gate, inside has lovely mosaic tiling on the bath area and authentic metal bathroom doors too. Plus a skylight thingy that just lets air in and feels spacious. I love it, I want to buy a house like this next time. His old house is even more interesting. It's been converted into a guesthouse now. I believe his family stayed in it for 3 generations.

It's nice to take a break once in a while, Melaka's one of the few places in my life
(so far) that I get homesick about when I think about the place. A sleepy city that stays awake, actually. Not just boring museums - though I'm sure if you visited all 20+ of them, you'd be bored beyond words. Here is a place where you can safely enjoy the diversity of different cultures, with really good food and hangout places. Though with the new developments springing up, crime rates have increased and I'm not sure how long this place will stay like this. I'm giving it about 10 years before it becomes retailised like sg. Just shopping, shopping and watching movies. Fun, but boring too. So before it becomes this way, Melaka's not too far away for me to visit it as often as I possibly can.

After all, I love this place. It's not too boring for me.

Dear all, enjoy your holiday

Wish I had more time to read.

Note to self: I have over 2000 unread email in my gmail...Time to do something about it)

In my email this week:


Dear all,



Please be informed that Asia offices will be closed for Holiday as follows:-





Singapore - 6th April Good Friday



Hong Kong - 5th April Qing Ming Festival

- 6th April Good Friday

- 7th April The day following Good Friday

- 9th April Easter Monday



Thailand - 6th April Chakri Day

- 13th to 15th April Songkran (Thai New Year)

==

We can deduce that:
1. Singaporeans are workaholics...
2. And not very religious at that! (Surprisingly, HK, a mainly buddhist country, celebrates Good Friday and Easter more than we do. Some sort of conspiracy to make us work harder this weekend?)

I guess I'd be quite tired out seeing that I'm going to church thursday, friday, saturday and sunday! Stagger to work exhausted on monday... needing a holiday from the Easter weekend.


No fair. =)