500 days of summer - matthew gray gubler

I finally caught the movie 500 days of Summer. And it didn't disappoint.

One thing I really really like about the movie is how the effort is put in into the little details I just can't seem to get enough of, like Summer's slightly gothic-ish room (to me), Tom's chalkboard wall - there is chalkboard paint, we can just buy and paint the wall black, I've always wanted to have a black wall.

The fashion seems well put together too, in a preppy cum bohemian way, he is wearing the same shoes almost throughout the movie. And she is always somehow in blue tones. I wish I was in the props department of this movie. And the way it's shot, it's really current and with a bit of that french idiosyncratic, off-humor way of certain portrayals, like the dramatization while he is watching a movie, alone.

Was also really stoked to see one of my favorite actors, he acts as a doctor-psychologist in a csi- like show whose name (both the actor and the show) I can never remember, so it was bliss to find this show, wiki who this actor was. It's matthew gray gubler - what a name - and he is so my type of guy, if I embrace my artistic designer, scrapbooking side. Long hair, a blond, skinny and tall and wears those argyle and pink purple toned sweaters. I like. His webpage is full of his doodlings which I like, too. A style very much like my thinking, if I could ever sketch that well.

http://www.matthewgraygubler.com/webpage/

Love how all the browns, red-browns, and greiges (gray+beige, very in this season, very givenchy!) blend in so so so well. I like movies that give a lot of thought to the setting, even the ribbon in her hair and the tie...

Another lovely still that could be a pre-wedding shot. Love the retro vibe and that dress.

sheep phase

A slide shown at The Church with a quote seems to have stuck in my mind, 'Love finds a way... Indifference finds an excuse.'

The changes of this world is creeping up on me. I used to count having a chat over coffee, usually Coffeebucks, as one of my fave pasttimes. Shopping here, until recently, being boring, overpriced and not worth the effort. I really enjoyed that, supper-ing with a friend or two, at Chompchomp, or roti-prata. Times like these are hard to come by lately. Or have we just overlooked it in our schedules? We don't seem to have time to stop by for a chat anymore, and when we have a day off we seem to not know what to fill it with - the time then becomes too important to fill it with mundane things like going to the supermarket, or a few hours' of exercise. Instead we fill it with the things we wanna do, which inevitably, means catching up a few hours' with our friends and loved ones. Not shopping alone, unless everyone's unavailable.

But I find that it is becoming difficult for us to really have a good chat. So many ideas flit through our mind, so many poetic landscapes to explore and themes to dwell upon. So instead of really thinking through what we're feeling, we don't. We just put it aside and gaze upon other bewitching horizons. But when asked about a certain thing, we find ourselves puzzled, not being able to respond in a certain way.

The reason for this could be that, we are unable to think straight. We have so many on-going projects, so many social activities that require our presence. Even after cutting all these out, we still have the obligations and the want-to-attend events. And the long awaited wardrobe upheaval or the clearing of the clutter on the dressing table - when did I amass all these stuff and how did it appear here, I wonder. (And where should I put it?)

I've seen different people come and go. In my company, I'm like the longest-lasting already. Maybe my time to go will come soon. In ministry, me and Kie were the first. And we are still here, although he is more 'here' than me. I've watched many come and go, and it seems that those who come, and stay, whether in work, ministry, or social, have some things in common. Friends who stay, I must admit, are those whose company I enjoy very much. Not only so, but I and them have a special connection. You could say we're fond of each other in a platonic way for reasons unknown to us. But they remain in our mind, and so, in our lives. Those who stay in ministry, I've seen, are also those with a certain strength of character. After all, it is not easy in this era to remain committed, to anything. Some can 'tahan' for a few years, say 3-5 years. Some have more stamina. Some, come for only a few months. The ones I cannot understand are those who totally 'disappear', and then 'reappear' just as suddenly, and it seems to them that all remains the same for them, as if they had never gone! How strange. And I always wonder what happened to them during that 'disappeared' period. (I'm talking months, here.) Did the other aspects of their lives come to a standstill as well? I've seen some being so involved, and then 'disappearing' without rhyme or reason, and they may appear in other cell or district or church, continuing on as if they had never left... it's strange to me. I think all of us want to be heard, want to play a part in a little way, in the community which we belong to. So we do things, organize events, help each other out. And I really look up to those who serve their community in such a way. Not only in church, but in grassroots events, volunteer for animals, etc. I always wanted to be one of those people. It's tiring to be sure, and I don't think I have the stamina. But why limit myself? Sometimes I miss opportunities, but interesting ones been coming up recently. I have 2 invitations to sing, both through friends who recommended me - I'm not sure if I will disappoint them though.

I'm not sure I have the time, for countless rehearsals and meet ups, but for this time, I think I will at least give myself a chance to explore the options.

Shaun the Sheep - stick with me 2

pockets

We all know, that we all have an idealised vision or expectation of how things will be in life.

I've always thought that I will get there, somehow. But there is a nagging feeling inside me, 'Am I missing out on something?'

Lately, I've been sitting upside down, legs propped up on a closet, thinking upside down. Thinking about stuffs lately. Maybe being alone is not good for me. But I was not alone, I was sitting near The Boyfriend while he does his endless work. Paper after paper. He works so much harder than me - having a hardworking boyfriend is always good, in more ways than one. (Hardworking 'off-duty', haha.) He cooked one dinner for me this week. I was very touched, although I didn't appear so. It seems stupid to cry over a claypot rice with lup cheong, diced chicken and shredded chinese cabbage. It seems I only can enjoy good homecooked meals at his place, and I was touched that despite he being sick, he could still cook up a dinner. I ate two plates.

Maybe I'm lacking a good conversation. Boy, I miss those times where you can just talk with people... today it seems everyone doesn't think things through, but keeps offering bland insightless thoughts. Maybe it's the twitter generation. What's the point of talking one-liners which seems senseless really... ... I think I need something to up the ante. Life seems dull at times, especially when I keep getting sick, and too tired to summon positive energy to go out and do stuff. Some things make me happy. Like my new bag. Though it's plastic (vinyl in fact), I wanted to buy a nice bag, and I am happy when I see myself carrying it. This is something guys won't understand. Like nice perfume also. My perfume 'lovely', is finishing. I want to gleefully traipse the shelves to find another 'me' perfume.

Yes, I wanted to walk on the beach. Despite us living on an island, we don't really make the effort to go to the magical place with sun, sand, and sea. A walk on the beach does revive me. Each day, knowing the sun sets in the same place, and the waves will always make the same sound on the shore, that is something worth considering. Would we be happier elsewhere? I thought of working and living overseas for a few years. While we still can. While we're still young, we should work our butts off, Clone said to me yesterday. I thought about that. It is a wise advice. But in between we should also have pockets of time to fall in love with life again.

a happy elderly me

Will I be a happy elderly? It depends on how much I have for my retirement...

Just out of curiousity I counted ‘the days’ and we are 136 days together!

136 days, seems so long. I think you cannot truly put a time-cap of measuring relationships.

So many people are searching online for some self-help about Christian relationships, here’s my previous posting about our first Pastor’s meetup session.

http://spiritedly3.blogspot.com/2009/06/pastors-talk-and-relationship-advice.html

The Boyfriend and I were supposed to meet with Pastor monthly, but due to the ‘peak’ we could only meet him early this month. We had a nice lunch and talked about our relationship. The honeymoon period ‘over’, we sat down for some interesting tidbits.

Pastor again asked us about what were the factors that drew us to each other. He said that we should constantly keep it in our minds, and ‘add to the list’. As we grew in this relationship, we can find out more positive / and negative attributes of the other party. We should remember what brought us together, it is an integral part of keeping the love in our relationship. A really good point – I don’t (I hope I NEVER) find myself wondering why I’m with such a man or why did I choose him/vice versa, but I think sometimes good traits may come across as negative in a more low-emotional state… so for me, I should not let that happen. In a low-state recently, I’ve been given to whinings and lying slumped in one corner with bleak upsetting thoughts. It’s just a phase… …

We wanted to open a joint-account, we asked Pastor’s advice on it. Reason being, I’m not so good at squirreling away money for rainy days, I’ve always admired those who can. My brain keeps thinking I need a new (fill in the blanks). So I thought it would be a good idea to start saving xxx amount, I just hand it over to The Boyfriend and forget about it while he settles it. Eventually when our salary rises we can save more, too. Interestingly, Pastor said, ‘not a good idea’. He advocated only starting on this plan when we are married. Also, arguments about spending can creep up into a new relationship. That, we foresaw as well and heeded his advice. He advised me to learn about financial stuffs, it’s a ‘life skill’ in that sense. Something I’m weak at, I have to work on it. I’m always depending on friends advice for this area, I think it’s time to read up and be more well-educated in this area as well!

Lastly… he left us with good advice about Purity. Of course you may expect that a Pastor or a church leader will talk about these kind of stuffs. But I think many chose to remain quiet, perhaps they don’t dare to interfere or talk with conviction. Knowing Pastor’s background, I respect him for sharing with me. And as young, ‘frisky’ adults, we do have challenges. So… I think all girls think that purity is important, of course, and one wish is that, how we wish we can save that special time when we are married to the special one. It is really something special, and we always wish it will turn out well. But let’s not make it only a ‘wish’, we have to take precautions and steps to make it a reality. I really appreciate such advice and will welcome it if he does speak about it every single time we meet.

=

I read with interest the article about CPF on yesterday’s front page news. To tell the truth, until recently, I didn’t even give two hoots about the ‘balance amount’ in my CPF. It just seems like so long away, I’m sure I will have quite a sum when I reach retirement age. But like most people, I plan to retire early. And there are ‘should knows’ that I have been neglecting when it comes to planning my ‘career advancements’. I am not very career-focused or ambituous (not so hardworking as well) and for the early stage of my working days, I was too busy with ministry, involved in cell-planting, that I was grateful for any job that could give me enough time with my ministry and a decent salary, something livable, is enough. I’m not hankering for the hi-lifestyle, just the usual Singaporean desires of a small apartment, travel 2 times a year, shopping and eat out at restaurants during weekends. I read that some people have saved around $100,000 in their CPF at aged 50 plus, I asked The Boyfriend to compute that for me in terms I can understand.

Well, it means that, IF I contribute about $1K to CPF each month, not considering interest rates and all… I would get that amount in… 24 years.

24 years! That got me thinking, seriously about my career prospects. If, compared to my peers I knew that I am getting shortchanged in terms of AWS, bonuses, and even medical benefits (adds up to A LOT in the long run), and their companies (MNCs or Stat boards) are giving them such benefits/compensation, I think it does add up to a lot in the long-term. Some of my friends revealed that even though the job scope stucks in their stat board, at least they got pro-rated bonuses 3 months out of this year. And others shared that medical benefits is a must, whether it’s a claimable thing (up to certain amount) or company doctor. Because ultimately, I want to stay for a long-term (5 years), work hard and contribute to the company in many ways, and be rewarded for it, too. Because I am smart, I should now not think of ‘fluffy’ things but instead, of ways I can better my life through wise choices in this area. I had hoped that each job I had, I would be able to stay at least 3- 5 years, but somehow, either the scope, or the industry, did not work out for me. It’s always been said, don’t cheat your boss by doing ‘other things’ during work
(sideline? Or playing on FB, hee)… I’m starting to think that I should not cheat myself as well!

couple photos

I got a nice wish that came true, a photo with The Boyfriend at Cavenagh Bridge. With balloons!

Hee... nice memories.

i need a star buddy.

I've always like the yellow stars in the Care Bears show and only yesterday I found out that they are called 'Star Buddies', isn't that cute? I'm reminded to have some 'Star Buddies' of my own.

I caught up with Lilo over lunch yesterday. It was great to hear that her life ws going well, God's provision for a new job with less stress, backstabbing and all the horrors of the finance industry, a new mentor who is a great leader business and spiritually (who wouldn't be thankful for that?), and a new love. I jokingly remarked to her that it seems that our fate has been 'exchanged', we remember the last time we met, she was in a ranting state of mind, and now it seems that I am. I needed some advice about my direction, and she shared valuable information about what options I should consider. Sometimes when you have some ideas in your mind, you can 'bounce' it off others, and the outcome could be that you will have more confidence in the steps you're about to take. Change in Life should be expected, even welcomed, because when one resists change... in fact you cannot avoid changes, right. But the first, tentative step is often seeming risky, and leads me to have fearful, anxious feelings. But it also seems a relief to have thought it through. I seriously think that godly counsel is often neglected... and for the important steps we have to take, we should go about it prayerfully and letting godly people know so that they can pray for you and share in your joys and sorrows.

Looking at them just makes me feel happy, even those stuffed ones in the shops, I always gravitate towards them. Hoping something in your weekend brightens you up, too!

a seagull

Read this story today and found it quite uplifting.

At some point of time in your life, you realize that you need your friends. It's always a surprise to realize that you have been missed by someone (of course, most won't tell you.)

Last week, Architect thanked me for a birthday present, it was a small tintoy robot.

He said it reminded him of his childhood dreams when he looked at it.

That struck a chord in me, about the way I am feeling now. There used to be a time where I was fretless and worry-free. Hmm, am I a shadow of my former self?

MIRACLES, DELIVERANCE

In a recent issue of his Friday Evening devotional newsletter, Tom Barnard includes this story:

Eddie Rickenbacker was a fighter pilot and Ace in World War I. His life was a kaleidoscope of events centered around airplanes and cars. He accumulated more than 300 hours in combat flying during the First World War and had more than 20 "victories" (where he survived and an enemy pilot did not). Later he was awarded the highest honors for bravery in battle by the United States and France.

During World War II, he served as a consultant to the military in England, as well as the United States. In October 1942, he was sent on a tour of the Pacific theater to deliver a secret message to General Douglas MacArthur. After visiting bases in Hawaii, his plane--a B-17 Flying Fortress--was en route to another military base in the Pacific when navigation failure caused the plane to stray miles off course, eventually losing fuel and forcing the pilots to crash-land into the rough seas of the Pacific Ocean.

Amazingly, the crew of eight survived the crash, but with injuries--one fatally. They made it aboard their life raft, but with very few provisions. Their food and water supply was exhausted in three days. The crew fought the sun, weather and sharks. They needed a miracle.

On the eighth day, the crew had an impromptu devotional service, praying for a miracle. Time dragged by very slowly. Trying to take a nap, Rickenbacker pulled his military cap over his nose. Suddenly, he felt something land on the top of his cap. It was a seagull. He carefully reached up and captured the gull. It wasn't much of a meal for the men, but it was something. After devouring most of the bird, they used the intestines for bait, with which they caught fish and survived until they were rescued--after 24 days at sea.

Years later, Billy Graham asked Rickenbacker to share the story of his life-threatening experience and the events that led up to his affirming faith in Christ. Eddie said, "I have no explanation except that God sent one of His angels to rescue us." God answered their prayers by sending an angel in the form of a seagull.

Do you sometimes feel like you are adrift in a sea of frustration and hopelessness, praying for a miracle but only seeing endless sea and insufficient provisions for the trip? Pray to God for a miracle. Pray for an angel of the Lord to locate you and deliver you. His angels are always near. Watch for them.

the journey

It's often been said, Life is a journey. And I'm realizing how true that is, these days.

I'm feeling the world-weariness of it all, wondering if where I am is where I'm supposed to be right now. I'm sure this feeling does take hold of almost all of us at times. When bad things befall us. Maybe a natural disaster, a loss of loved one/s, some terminal illness, or new beginnings. I wonder if it's a better place for me to work in a secure (government or otherwise) job, keeping my head low, doing my work and end of the day, not much personal, emotional issues, and I am secure in the fact I can retain a comfortable salary and a comfortable life. But I don't know if this is what I want. Just a few years ago, I was in a more confident position, at the start of my career. I wanted to be entrepreneurial and work hard for startup companies or doing something creative, meaningful and at the end of the day make many connections. I had cherished hopes of being a travel host as I was promised, of doing something significant.

Ministry was going well too when each week I saw my cell getting more new people, until we had to break into different parts of the host's house - 2 groups in the hall, 1 in the dining area and 1 in the walkway. I remember the exciting and difficult times. The Boyfriend asked me if I would support him if he were to venture into starting his own business. A few years ago, I would have not hesitated, and said, go ahead, I will support you in whatever you choose to do for your life. But now, I am scared. Dealings with sleazebags who try to find loopholes have left me apprehensive about going into that kind of industry. I recall a time when I helped someone's (a church friend!) startup find a temp staff who happened to be my close friend(also in same church). Who knows, when the contract was over, the startup boss used all kinds of excuses not to pay the worker. Stating that the performance was not satisfactory, he haven't calculated the compensation, something wrong with the check...He kept my friend waiting for almost a month after she finished the job. This is not right, is it? It's true you meet all sorts of people, the 'little' and the 'great' - those 'little' ones 'belittle you', the 'great ones make you great' - a friend had wrote. I was thinking, how true. But sadly we are surrounded by more little ones than great ones. Maybe my thinking now is to cling on to a stable job with a good income until it runs dry, rather than finding a passion which I love doing. And in rational-thinking that might well be better for my bank account and my personal, emotional state.

There are many things that can make people depressed or 'down', big things, small things, sometimes I find that despite all efforts to keep cheerful (After all, there isn't anything major happening that can cause me to feel sad), I feel a melancholy of sorts, a kind of anxiety when I think about the near future. True, there are many things that can go wrong, like unexpected accidents, or changes in company or even government policy. But... ...nothing's gone wrong yet, nor should I have the doomsday approach and think of the worst-case scenario in everything. It's nice to know there are options to consider, and nice to know of friends who will pray.

Maybe it's just past issues that suddenly creep up, or the overwhelming feeling that although it all seems good, it is not. As all Christians would say, hold on to God's promises. And count your blessings. I am trying to...

a book is a book is a book.

Well here’s my no-holds-barred opinion on the ‘Miss Singapore World/Ris Low/boomz’ saga.

When the video first came out – I got a look of it a few days before everyone else did – I must admit I forwarded it to friends, as it has been forwarded to me, because, as I had mistakenly or unmistakenly thought to myself that this Ms world speaks atrocious English. We joked about ‘leopard preens and zebraaa’, for quite some time, in fact.

As a woman, we have been bombarded with media messages telling us how to look, to think, and to behave. Many times I have felt low, feeling that my clothes aren’t pretty enough or my skill is not good in putting on makeup, or my hair cannot be compared to the glossy, cleavage-flaunting and always immaculately-clad women on the front pages of the magazine. Blame it on the age, perhaps I am in an age where I have more disposable income (Or think that I have) to spend on such frivolities. But yes, although they are merely ‘on the outside’, they make us feel good on the inside too, Don’t you feel good wearing comfortable lingerie, smelling good with a good perfume and having nice shoes, makeup that doesn’t crack, things that make you feel happy when you look at them? I sure do, and although my wardrobe has a collection of tee-shirts, I can’t help thinking I need another striped one for my collection, or I need one in yellow/orange/pink because these colors are lacking in my wardrobe. It’s easy for the media messages to infiltrate my mind, because I am bombarded with it everyday, and I don’t think deeply about my latest rave to buy the Chanel limited edition jade-green nail polish, where does this desire come from, and what does it say about me.

Good or bad, we all have expectations of beauty queens. Poised, elegant, definitely speaking well in our native language. Because to some, she is the only ‘singapore’ other people might know of. Meanwhile, the Miss Indonesia 2009 cannot speak Indonesian… and she is getting lambasted too. As outsiders and observers, we might think it’s not such a big deal but tell that to the majority of the Indonesian-speaking population, I’m sure they think in a different way.

Sure enough, this is just a beauty pageant, nothing to get excited about. For those who defend Ris Low’s Singlish (just the singlish and not the other scandalous issues), well, it is true most Singaporeans speak Singlish, or are not good in pronunciation for certain words. Definitely we do not expect our native teachers or man-on-the-street to have Queen’s English diction. But the same rules do not apply for lawyers, for instance, or professors, even doctors are required to have a more than substantial grasp of the language. Similarly for beauty queens, when it comes to national pride, we would rather have someone who speaks well, as speaking well reflects well on us, too. But when it comes to condemning her as ‘stupid’, I think that has gone too far. We do not know the pageant organizer’s motives for choosing her, and it has been said and done, so let it be. I think looking at many people’s comments; Singaporeans are quite willing to forgive her Singlish and bad pronunciation, and some even pity her being blasted in the media. If you have lived in different countries, the other countries’ newspapers would have a field day covering such individuals and digging up dirt on them, so I think our local media have already been very…safe, and kind to her in this aspect that they are only reporting some facts, for instance the sum she frauded has been said to be $8K instead of $2.5K as reported (Read it somewhere online.)

Image designed from Hendra's blog...

My opinion is that, the old adage ‘do not judge a book by its cover’ holds true. I could have been spared many emotional ups and downs had I been more careful in choosing to trust people with ‘si wun’ faces and gentle tones. Both in business and in personal life, I have wasted much time with the people who seem one way but are another. Maybe some have not encountered such characters who may lead to a personal financial loss, emotional or mental loss or much more, but there are many such people around, especially in the corporate world who think of nothing less than to profiteer from your unsuspecting kindness to them.

Maybe or maybe not, Ris Low has also been one of them. I do not think it is easy to fraud credit cards…or fraud anything… I don’t have the heart to make people suffer due to my selfish pleasure, or have the guts to do such a thing.

Yes, we all want to look presentable, pretty, even, but at what expense? One of my must-have magazines, ‘Mina’, tells me every month about the fabulous hairstyles I can create on my own. I have tried one or two, but I feel inadept at doing the whole range, maybe even disappointed I cannot achieve what seems to be so easy, step-by-step creations.

Maybe Ris Low is a victim of mass media messages, perhaps even more so as a public beauty figure.

=

Some articles of interest:

Miss Indonesia can’t speak Indonesian

http://indonesiafirst.com/2009/06/kerenina-needs-a-translator/

Ris Low photo labeled as ‘stupid’

http://www.temasekreview.com/2009/09/30/straits-times-named-ris-lows-photo-as-sg-stupid-jpg/

Claire Lee speaks up about back injury on her blog

http://www.temasekreview.com/2009/10/05/claire-lee-rebuts-ris-lows-allegations-on-her-blog/

a ranting state of mind.

How you treat others, as well as how I treat the people around me, is somewhat of importance to me. It's like what's been said about Etiquette by 'Miss Manners',

"You can deny all you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. But if you behave in a way that offends the people you're trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you...There are plenty of people who say, 'We don't care about etiquette, but we can't stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don't want him around!' Etiquette doesn't have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them because their behavior is unbearable."

I have seen some people whose behavior is, well, mystifying.

They seem to hate their job. But I wondered whether, if they change jobs, would it still be the same? My guess is, they will continue to be miserable and make others miserable. Getting some negative vibes from those who hate their job/life, it's truly not pleasant to be in their company.

I had a sudden deep thought while ironing my casual-work-wear top in preparation for work, the other day.

I can say, perhaps proudly, that I don't care for Money. That Money is not a motivating factor for me, likewise, I don't go for branded clothes, I'm more about the quality and value for the price point. So maybe I'd like to think of myself as someone whom Money is not a motivating factor. However, if it were put to me, in this way, so why not I take up a job in a non-profit, earning ... peanuts... but doing something really meaningful for animals, people, or even the environment? Would I go for it? And the answer is... ... No. Sadly, I still think that you have to be paid what you're worth, or thereabouts. Although I think that yes, I could subsist on the meagre income, and yes, it would be very fulfilling at the end of each day to see lives change, at the end of it all, I will still feel a lack of pride that I'm working here where I could be having a more classy job somewhere else. Isn't that so, for most of us? I've seen men who work in the non-profits, some are married, even with kids, and I think that is a noble act of sacrifice. However, I wonder if the kids eventually will think highly of their father for choosing this path and not one which will enable them to be more comfortable financially.

So for me, maybe I cannot say that proudly that Money does not motivate me, or I remain unaffected by Money. I think we do complain a lot because our lives are quite boring here, but seeing the typhoons and earthquakes around the region, seeing maybe your whole wardrobe disappear in the flood, hey, you got to be thankful to be living here and not a few hundred miles away.

So...I aim to be more cheerful in my dealings, and always have, in the back of my mind, to be thankful for these things I have right now.

Sun - Fancy Free (Official Release)

Our Local 'Lady Gaga', "Sun", that's what TNP says.
Aren't we all supportive to see a local Singaporean make it big on the international scene? Overtly sexy or not...

if you forget me

In front of the Melbourne State Library.

Why do we take photos?

I don't really REALLY like to take photos, except if it is with friends, family or some places I've travelled to. Looking at my photos in Melbourne at the same spots - it was planned earlier by my best friend now staying and working there, of course... I wouldn't be able to know all the places - it seems like these places are familiar to me, even though I don't think I would be able to remember my stay in Melbourne so long ago. At least, what I remembered of the place were not the landmarks and the scenery, but the people, and the places - I had a neighbor's cat who would 'adopt' me in the daytime which made me an instant cat-lover in the duration of the 2 weeks of my stay in the rented house walking distance from Queen Victoria's Market.

For me now, taking photos brings me to a journalistic mood of sorts. Why this need for documenting everyday stuff? I guess we look forward to reviewing our photos and hence, the memories. I spend quite a lot of time looking, collaging, compiling my photos and am proud of the nice shots. Also, I want to look back at the happy times spent, the nice food eaten, basically I treasure the 'here and now'. What we are blessed with, I cannot and will not take for granted.

I know that it is a luxury in many countries around us to just go to a 'restaurant' and have a meal. Yet we do so almost every week, isn't it? And we can easily find nice Japanese restaurants, or other cuisine if we so desire. Even meeting up with close ones - we seem so busy to make the effort at times, yet we do not realize how easy it is for us, just a train ride or a bus ride away to meet with friends. For others, their friends might be miles away yet they still communicate frequently, what gives? All I can say is I realized... it takes two. You might be wanting to catch up with the buddy but said buddy may not have the same on his mind. Usually for me, I suggest, and wait to see what happens. If buddy is keen and pro-active as well, I do look forward to an eventual meeting. If buddy seems reluctant... perhaps hesitant even, well, maybe it's a point of time in his life where he is busy with other stuff. So I just leave it, for now. But I do wonder at the people who don't even bother to reply back! Are they even too busy for the friendship, or... they have not received your sms?

Anyways... I am not like that, and I can say none of my 'true friends' are like that too. I hope...

I am looking forward to taking more meaningful photos.

20 years' ago Emu at Melbourne Zoo. Now, 2 Emus at Weribee Zoo. Below, Swanston St Church of Christ (I think the name is changed now). The only change on the exterior is that the door is painted red. Interior, everything's changed. It looks like a university lecture hall (and it IS used as one! For RMIT students!) Last photo, it's a flower shop along the 'downtown' road. I don' t know if it's the same flower shop, but it's at the same location. It's so nice when people buy flowers for fun!

If you forget me - by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.