Been reading "Anna Karenina", the book I bought at a second hand bookstore in Hong Kong, Stanley Street. Written by Leo Tolstoy, the same guy who brought you "War and Peace", super-long tome of whatnots, I was a bit apprehensive at this thick one, too. But it was called "The world's greatest love story in all literature", so I had to read it.
Surprisingly, it was easy to read, at least for me, perhaps I could identify that certain themes of love and suffering run in the same vein all through time. Reading it, I felt pity for the main characters, yet knew that their situation was one which they had made themselves... emotions are brought through in a kind of delicious suffering which their lives actually longed for, for this kind of suffering is better, than the worst kind - a dreary life of boredom. And perhaps that is the way it is for me, too.
The way Tolstoy writes it, it was almost as if he knew it, breathed it, and lived in such a time, describing everything from the peasants to the court monarchy of Russia in the 18th century.
Definitely worth the S$6 bucks I paid!
The Hong Kong trip was fun and I have written my own starter guide to exploring the city...to be published here soon... I'm glad that the traveller bug in me is still around, halfway through I ached to take photos of the quirks I've seen, only lamenting that I did not bring the camera, primarily because it was in Taiwan, with my brother...and also because I did not want to be troubled with taking photos, knowing that city pictures often do not turn out as well as countryscapes.
I miss Kie now that we've officially 'separated'... I know I am disgusting but I really look forward each time he drives me home, not only for the drive, but for the company. He has been my faithful listener each cell session I led...and I enjoyed the times he led immensely as well. During our Sentosa picnic I was just trying to memorize all his features, and the usual, silly grin he has that makes me giggle uncontrollably. I hope I am human enough to appreciate all that he has done for me, and never to forget such a nice buddy like him. Ah... I do have some anxiety. Imagine, now that our group has so many cars, I am seldom left with him, or left alone with him all to myself. Multiplying has some emotionally damaging effects! Nevertheless, I am glad that finally he can shine through, I really needed to vacate the position so that someone better than me can stand the test of time. Sometimes I feel as though I don't care about anything, or anyone... Maybe I should just focus on making money... Then again I don't care much for that either... But I know that a little voice inside tells me that I really care. Lots. Although sometimes I really don't feel like, or I don't think I am.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Hong Kong Starter Guide!
Hong Kong....Kowloon Hong Kong...
Somehow that song keeps running in my head whilst walking the streets of HK...haha.
Yes, first time to HK. Glad to have more experienced ones around me, knowing all the good food, good fun and good places to shop. I think in HK, there is something for everyone. So here, my very own rough guide to Hong Kong for first time visitors!
Hong Kong... someone has said that there is a certain magic in the air to make people stay... and once you leave, you are sure to come back.
Shop
First day, shopped around the Ladies' Street (Loy yan kai) and Jordan Street area.
The Ladies' street is so called for its merchandise initially targeting women and their children, but today it sells mostly everything, especially imitation goods. Dvds with the latest shows (Better deals in Msia though), ladies' handbags and clothings, montblanc pens, ties, earrings, chioiserie, doggie clothes and baskets...etc. At Mongkok Station.
For more upmarket shopping, SOGO has 5-6 levels and really good shopping! Love the toys especially the huge range with most not found in Singapore. Sylvanian families twice the size of the Taka display... Many Sanrio products, a remnant of my childhood favorite. Glad I could buy a "My Melody" ruler and the blue-boy eraser for my siblings. Lots of miniatures now that is all the rage here... Chair series! Wish I could get the whole range but I was on a limited budget. Many made-in-japan disney collectibles also, especially toy story, monsters, stitch and nemo. SOGO located in the Causeway Bay area.
Harbourcity has a fantastic view of the Harbour with cool shops, Marc Jacobs and other labels not found locally. Also, M&S had a sale so we got pretty good buys for a low price! The "Fish Street; and Jade Street" near Mongkok station is a fantastic sight to see with packets of fish lined up like balloons in a row.
Stanley market has the usual touristy stuff like jade pieces, linenware, artists' impressions and watercolor scenes, silken thingys, ceramics ... Not for me though I did spot a couple of interesting toy shops. They sell realistic looking toy guns for HK$150. I was tempted but did not dare carry it in. A really wide range of stuff and good bargains available, so it's a must for a first time visitor. Some factory outlets clothes also. A really nice view of the sea and the old prison, plus interesting performances at the village square. Many gwailo eateries. Best of all, avid dog-watchers can spot many interesting breeds. HK is quite an animal friendly city, most people have small dogs and there are many pet shops all around Causeway Bay area. I spotted a cute borzoi with a fancy hat, giant golden retrievers, poodles, terriers and the occasional sheepdog. Even a huge St Bernard!
Food
1. Famous 'lao po ping' wife biscuits found at the basement of SOGO. Also can be found at the Airport, but much cheaper. SOGO b2.
2. "Sweet Dynasty" - has over 60 desserts, all natural ingredients. Must try the soy bean "tofu pudding" as it is called there, tow hua here... Comes in a barrel and you can scoop out as much as you want for yourself. After eating it... beats the one at Rochor anytime. I don't care much for tow hua but this one is really a must try. Also the other desserts are all good, especially the almond 'hu' and sesame 'hu'. Smooth and not as thick and starchy as local versions. They also serve a range of other local food.
The Sweet Dynasty, 88 Canton Road, Tsishatsui, Kowloon.
3. Ever heard of "cha shao bao" in... steamboat? Yes, I've tried it here and it tastes simply delicious. My colleague said it's the first time she saw me eat that much!
Also tried wild black boar meat from Japan for the first time.
The fun part of the steamboat was this fish-paste thingy which came in a cone... we were supposed to squeeze it out into the soup, voila! It became noodles, thick, like udon kind but nicer! I volunteered to squeeze it most of the time hee.
My favorite was the "corn bao" and the beef balls with piping hot cheese in the middle.
Best!
With their really good sales, my budget really counted for a lot in Hong Kong.
With S$170... I bought:
1. 2nd-hand book : Anna Karenina (Classic by Leo Tolstoy)
2. 2 LeSportsac pouches ! I like v much!
3. Korean drama DVD for Jennie
4. 4 Esprit undies
5. 1 Esprit bag, overnighter sized
6. Esprit tee
7. Toy mini motorbike, choroQ brand
8. Disneyland keychain - metal lilo and stitch
9. Sylvanian milk rabbit on baby toilet
10. 3 tubes M&Ms, 1 Poko milk sweet tin can
11. 1 miniature can Asashi, + diet coke + apple juice
12. 1 Victoria Peak photo group shot by professional guy
13. 5 toy horse and warrior figurines for Superdude
14. Sanrio ruler, eraser with roller, Hello Kitty red packets
15. Kewpie baby!
16. Frog head umbrella
17. M&S shirt for Travis
...Amazing isn't it. The only thing I regret? Not buying more!!! I should have bought more Esprit stuff, the Chair toy series... etc etc etc.
And a really, really nice part of the trip - while at Stanley market, we actually saw a movie being filmed! Some police story... the star? Simon Yam!!! He looks good. Tanned dark brown and tall, good build too. We watched how they took 3 takes for a 5 minute sequence eating and dialogue at the police canteen. Way cool!
Spiritedly's dun-miss!
1. Don't miss the MTR - Seamless traffic, people are orderly and well behaved even though there are really lots of people. MTR comes in 2 min intervals, for HK$50, tourists can get a one day pass, really worth it for the shuttle between Tsim Sha Tui, Mongkok, Kowloon stations and even Disneyland.
2. Get the miniature drinks at SOGO's supermarket. Makes great souvenirs, at a dollar plus sing, it's really cool. I especially like the mini Asashi beer, Coke, and various Japanese brands fruit juice.
3. Small, out of the way 2nd-hand bookstore with a good selection of titles ranging from travel, novels, autobiography etc. Run by a Gwailo who has a nice dog and has been living in HK for the last 7 years. Current books go for about 1/4 of the usual price. At Stanley area.
The Chapter House, Secondhand bookshop. Shop C, first floor, Realfound Mansion 30A Stanley Main Street.
4. Their roasted goose meat. Goose is really expensive locally. They do it really nice, and about HK$60 per half goose which is meat enough for 4-5 pax.
5. Must go to the Peak! Fun part is taking the tram up!
Victoria Peak, Lower Terminus. Exit from MTR Central Stn J2. Or take bus 15C from Star Ferry Concourse in Central.
6. Very famous! Chashaobao and beefballs with cheese in them, fish paste noodles like udon you squeeze yourself, and over 20 different soup bases to choose from. Hotpot! Makes a fulfilling dinner after the long shopping time.
Yaugwathei. www.yaugwathei.com Many different outlets, I went to the one at Causeway Bay. 84-86 Morrison Hill Road, Hong Kong. (MTR Causeway Bay Exit A)
7. Japanese-oriented doggie pet shop with grooming facilities and even cafe to celebrate doggie's birthday! Many accessories, especially clothes and pet carriers. Also souvenirs like "The Dog" original booklets, dog charms.
DogOneLife, opposite SOGO.
8. Dessert! The steamed egg custard (yellow) in hot or cold is wayyy too delicious to be missed. Can even 'tapao' home as some of my colleagues did. Also the milk pudding in dozens of flavors: chocolate, coffee, almond etc. A definite must try, we couldn't get enough of it!
Yee Shun Milk Company, 85 Perceival Street Causeway Bay. And other outlets available.
I really enjoyed my trip! Loved the people, the weather, the busy city... especially when I'm not working in it... ...
Somehow that song keeps running in my head whilst walking the streets of HK...haha.
Yes, first time to HK. Glad to have more experienced ones around me, knowing all the good food, good fun and good places to shop. I think in HK, there is something for everyone. So here, my very own rough guide to Hong Kong for first time visitors!
Hong Kong... someone has said that there is a certain magic in the air to make people stay... and once you leave, you are sure to come back.
Shop
First day, shopped around the Ladies' Street (Loy yan kai) and Jordan Street area.
The Ladies' street is so called for its merchandise initially targeting women and their children, but today it sells mostly everything, especially imitation goods. Dvds with the latest shows (Better deals in Msia though), ladies' handbags and clothings, montblanc pens, ties, earrings, chioiserie, doggie clothes and baskets...etc. At Mongkok Station.
For more upmarket shopping, SOGO has 5-6 levels and really good shopping! Love the toys especially the huge range with most not found in Singapore. Sylvanian families twice the size of the Taka display... Many Sanrio products, a remnant of my childhood favorite. Glad I could buy a "My Melody" ruler and the blue-boy eraser for my siblings. Lots of miniatures now that is all the rage here... Chair series! Wish I could get the whole range but I was on a limited budget. Many made-in-japan disney collectibles also, especially toy story, monsters, stitch and nemo. SOGO located in the Causeway Bay area.
Harbourcity has a fantastic view of the Harbour with cool shops, Marc Jacobs and other labels not found locally. Also, M&S had a sale so we got pretty good buys for a low price! The "Fish Street; and Jade Street" near Mongkok station is a fantastic sight to see with packets of fish lined up like balloons in a row.
Stanley market has the usual touristy stuff like jade pieces, linenware, artists' impressions and watercolor scenes, silken thingys, ceramics ... Not for me though I did spot a couple of interesting toy shops. They sell realistic looking toy guns for HK$150. I was tempted but did not dare carry it in. A really wide range of stuff and good bargains available, so it's a must for a first time visitor. Some factory outlets clothes also. A really nice view of the sea and the old prison, plus interesting performances at the village square. Many gwailo eateries. Best of all, avid dog-watchers can spot many interesting breeds. HK is quite an animal friendly city, most people have small dogs and there are many pet shops all around Causeway Bay area. I spotted a cute borzoi with a fancy hat, giant golden retrievers, poodles, terriers and the occasional sheepdog. Even a huge St Bernard!
Food
1. Famous 'lao po ping' wife biscuits found at the basement of SOGO. Also can be found at the Airport, but much cheaper. SOGO b2.
2. "Sweet Dynasty" - has over 60 desserts, all natural ingredients. Must try the soy bean "tofu pudding" as it is called there, tow hua here... Comes in a barrel and you can scoop out as much as you want for yourself. After eating it... beats the one at Rochor anytime. I don't care much for tow hua but this one is really a must try. Also the other desserts are all good, especially the almond 'hu' and sesame 'hu'. Smooth and not as thick and starchy as local versions. They also serve a range of other local food.
The Sweet Dynasty, 88 Canton Road, Tsishatsui, Kowloon.
3. Ever heard of "cha shao bao" in... steamboat? Yes, I've tried it here and it tastes simply delicious. My colleague said it's the first time she saw me eat that much!
Also tried wild black boar meat from Japan for the first time.
The fun part of the steamboat was this fish-paste thingy which came in a cone... we were supposed to squeeze it out into the soup, voila! It became noodles, thick, like udon kind but nicer! I volunteered to squeeze it most of the time hee.
My favorite was the "corn bao" and the beef balls with piping hot cheese in the middle.
Best!
With their really good sales, my budget really counted for a lot in Hong Kong.
With S$170... I bought:
1. 2nd-hand book : Anna Karenina (Classic by Leo Tolstoy)
2. 2 LeSportsac pouches ! I like v much!
3. Korean drama DVD for Jennie
4. 4 Esprit undies
5. 1 Esprit bag, overnighter sized
6. Esprit tee
7. Toy mini motorbike, choroQ brand
8. Disneyland keychain - metal lilo and stitch
9. Sylvanian milk rabbit on baby toilet
10. 3 tubes M&Ms, 1 Poko milk sweet tin can
11. 1 miniature can Asashi, + diet coke + apple juice
12. 1 Victoria Peak photo group shot by professional guy
13. 5 toy horse and warrior figurines for Superdude
14. Sanrio ruler, eraser with roller, Hello Kitty red packets
15. Kewpie baby!
16. Frog head umbrella
17. M&S shirt for Travis
...Amazing isn't it. The only thing I regret? Not buying more!!! I should have bought more Esprit stuff, the Chair toy series... etc etc etc.
And a really, really nice part of the trip - while at Stanley market, we actually saw a movie being filmed! Some police story... the star? Simon Yam!!! He looks good. Tanned dark brown and tall, good build too. We watched how they took 3 takes for a 5 minute sequence eating and dialogue at the police canteen. Way cool!
Spiritedly's dun-miss!
1. Don't miss the MTR - Seamless traffic, people are orderly and well behaved even though there are really lots of people. MTR comes in 2 min intervals, for HK$50, tourists can get a one day pass, really worth it for the shuttle between Tsim Sha Tui, Mongkok, Kowloon stations and even Disneyland.
2. Get the miniature drinks at SOGO's supermarket. Makes great souvenirs, at a dollar plus sing, it's really cool. I especially like the mini Asashi beer, Coke, and various Japanese brands fruit juice.
3. Small, out of the way 2nd-hand bookstore with a good selection of titles ranging from travel, novels, autobiography etc. Run by a Gwailo who has a nice dog and has been living in HK for the last 7 years. Current books go for about 1/4 of the usual price. At Stanley area.
The Chapter House, Secondhand bookshop. Shop C, first floor, Realfound Mansion 30A Stanley Main Street.
4. Their roasted goose meat. Goose is really expensive locally. They do it really nice, and about HK$60 per half goose which is meat enough for 4-5 pax.
5. Must go to the Peak! Fun part is taking the tram up!
Victoria Peak, Lower Terminus. Exit from MTR Central Stn J2. Or take bus 15C from Star Ferry Concourse in Central.
6. Very famous! Chashaobao and beefballs with cheese in them, fish paste noodles like udon you squeeze yourself, and over 20 different soup bases to choose from. Hotpot! Makes a fulfilling dinner after the long shopping time.
Yaugwathei. www.yaugwathei.com Many different outlets, I went to the one at Causeway Bay. 84-86 Morrison Hill Road, Hong Kong. (MTR Causeway Bay Exit A)
7. Japanese-oriented doggie pet shop with grooming facilities and even cafe to celebrate doggie's birthday! Many accessories, especially clothes and pet carriers. Also souvenirs like "The Dog" original booklets, dog charms.
DogOneLife, opposite SOGO.
8. Dessert! The steamed egg custard (yellow) in hot or cold is wayyy too delicious to be missed. Can even 'tapao' home as some of my colleagues did. Also the milk pudding in dozens of flavors: chocolate, coffee, almond etc. A definite must try, we couldn't get enough of it!
Yee Shun Milk Company, 85 Perceival Street Causeway Bay. And other outlets available.
I really enjoyed my trip! Loved the people, the weather, the busy city... especially when I'm not working in it... ...
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Friendship again
Overheard at The Office:
"In our line, we really need favor.
Favor with Man...Favor with God."
Latest film ratings:
Death Note 2 : 1 outta 5 (Horrid, weak plot with too many asinine mind games. The first one was good so I guess it's just riding on the popularity.)
Blood Diamond : 5 stars! (Strong cast, beautiful cinematography balanced with the violent shooting and the beautiful landscape. Great acting by Leonardo Di Caprio, Jennifer Connelly and the Djimon guy. He deserves the award, I would say.)
Really excited going to hkt over the weekend. I'm quite assured that some of my colleagues are 'professional' shoppers and eaters, judging by the fabulous lunches I get treated to all the time, I'm confident they can source out the place for the best tim sum.
And every night we are going to scour hkt for the best bargain finds. I'm expecting myself to be an expert after going there. Not like some who only go to a place to sip the coffee there, it's going to be another adventure for me!
I mean, I'm glad I'm excited. Some of my friends travel so much, they laugh at my excited-ness. I'm glad I'm not like them. Boooo. I didn't get to travel last year so the humanitarian trip to Aceh was my last destination. I hope to go back there again someday. It's strange how the years flies by. Was just thinking of taking a church course together with Travis, we coincidentally took the first part of the course together, "7 Steps" and now the "14 Steps" (Just kidding... I don't know what the next part is called) and I realised the first part of the course I took it when I was 1X years old... which is FIVE years ago!!! Seems like such a dreadfully long time ain't it.
One thing good about friendship with guys is that no matter how much time has lapsed, you still have the same 'feel' with them, it's like as though nothing has happened in this space of time. Most of all, they still remember you as you were, even asking you those nuggets of information only remembered perhaps, by those who care. My guy friends are nice that way. Travis, very surprisingly, told me that I "exuded an inner glow of radiant happiness" - or rather, he meant that but did not put it in that way. I shyly said it was because I had to look good for serving, but I thought it was rather sweet of him to say that, knowing he seldom says anything like this... I mentioned it to Jelly, another one whom I've recently re-established friendship with, and he remarked: Oh, I thought you ALWAYS looked like this! Wah...I'm over the moon. Score points again!? Jelly's sweet too, just a bit wooden which I believe under my tutelage, he will emerge...not-so-wooden. Wooden shoulders are better to cry on than metallic ones anyways! Haha!
I've also turned a relationship-guru-of-sorts to those hapless guys. I think they are sincerely interested to know, 'what women want', for the lack of a better term; but they never dare to ask. Or perhaps, don't know WHAT to ask. On the way back with 3 guys, was telling Shiner and the rest how to...woo a girl, or how to let the girl you like know you like her without being horrid. I shared once, during my immature and insensitive days (alright, I am still insensitive...) a guy schoolmate of mine professed his infatuation over the phone. Being really oblivious to his anguish and suffering, I laughed out loud. Really LOL! This guy was quite a joker, and never before hearing this tone of voice on him, I thought he was pulling another one of his wisecracks. He was quite patient and then asked again: "If you don't mind, would you consider going out with me?" My reply: "You are joking, right...hahahahaha..." Looking back, I must have bruised his poor ego for he avoided me for some time. But if this kind of question pops up out of the blue, most females will have no clue that you have been suffering for so long. Perhaps our egos are not so huge to think that there are guys even having the hots for us.
So, a word of advice I gave was to not suddenly ask the poor gal out for coffee, and then pop the question of, I'm interested in seeing more of you, if you want to date me. Very scary for most.
Maybe can follow my darling who just dated me and then... got his way... hur hur hur! No la... he did ask me, too! Sweetheart!
Yeah the word of advice would be... give lots of hints first.
What hints?
More on that, in our next meetup....Also, one of the most important things to make her yours. A factor every gal would agree with me is important... but no guy seems to 'get it right'.
Good day!
"In our line, we really need favor.
Favor with Man...Favor with God."
Latest film ratings:
Death Note 2 : 1 outta 5 (Horrid, weak plot with too many asinine mind games. The first one was good so I guess it's just riding on the popularity.)
Blood Diamond : 5 stars! (Strong cast, beautiful cinematography balanced with the violent shooting and the beautiful landscape. Great acting by Leonardo Di Caprio, Jennifer Connelly and the Djimon guy. He deserves the award, I would say.)
Really excited going to hkt over the weekend. I'm quite assured that some of my colleagues are 'professional' shoppers and eaters, judging by the fabulous lunches I get treated to all the time, I'm confident they can source out the place for the best tim sum.
And every night we are going to scour hkt for the best bargain finds. I'm expecting myself to be an expert after going there. Not like some who only go to a place to sip the coffee there, it's going to be another adventure for me!
I mean, I'm glad I'm excited. Some of my friends travel so much, they laugh at my excited-ness. I'm glad I'm not like them. Boooo. I didn't get to travel last year so the humanitarian trip to Aceh was my last destination. I hope to go back there again someday. It's strange how the years flies by. Was just thinking of taking a church course together with Travis, we coincidentally took the first part of the course together, "7 Steps" and now the "14 Steps" (Just kidding... I don't know what the next part is called) and I realised the first part of the course I took it when I was 1X years old... which is FIVE years ago!!! Seems like such a dreadfully long time ain't it.
One thing good about friendship with guys is that no matter how much time has lapsed, you still have the same 'feel' with them, it's like as though nothing has happened in this space of time. Most of all, they still remember you as you were, even asking you those nuggets of information only remembered perhaps, by those who care. My guy friends are nice that way. Travis, very surprisingly, told me that I "exuded an inner glow of radiant happiness" - or rather, he meant that but did not put it in that way. I shyly said it was because I had to look good for serving, but I thought it was rather sweet of him to say that, knowing he seldom says anything like this... I mentioned it to Jelly, another one whom I've recently re-established friendship with, and he remarked: Oh, I thought you ALWAYS looked like this! Wah...I'm over the moon. Score points again!? Jelly's sweet too, just a bit wooden which I believe under my tutelage, he will emerge...not-so-wooden. Wooden shoulders are better to cry on than metallic ones anyways! Haha!
I've also turned a relationship-guru-of-sorts to those hapless guys. I think they are sincerely interested to know, 'what women want', for the lack of a better term; but they never dare to ask. Or perhaps, don't know WHAT to ask. On the way back with 3 guys, was telling Shiner and the rest how to...woo a girl, or how to let the girl you like know you like her without being horrid. I shared once, during my immature and insensitive days (alright, I am still insensitive...) a guy schoolmate of mine professed his infatuation over the phone. Being really oblivious to his anguish and suffering, I laughed out loud. Really LOL! This guy was quite a joker, and never before hearing this tone of voice on him, I thought he was pulling another one of his wisecracks. He was quite patient and then asked again: "If you don't mind, would you consider going out with me?" My reply: "You are joking, right...hahahahaha..." Looking back, I must have bruised his poor ego for he avoided me for some time. But if this kind of question pops up out of the blue, most females will have no clue that you have been suffering for so long. Perhaps our egos are not so huge to think that there are guys even having the hots for us.
So, a word of advice I gave was to not suddenly ask the poor gal out for coffee, and then pop the question of, I'm interested in seeing more of you, if you want to date me. Very scary for most.
Maybe can follow my darling who just dated me and then... got his way... hur hur hur! No la... he did ask me, too! Sweetheart!
Yeah the word of advice would be... give lots of hints first.
What hints?
More on that, in our next meetup....Also, one of the most important things to make her yours. A factor every gal would agree with me is important... but no guy seems to 'get it right'.
Good day!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Mistakes, Failures, Decisions: The Crab Mayo Revelation #1
Focusing on selfish desires leads to collapse of a nation.
Was sharing my insights on personal issues in the ''MPV'' yesterday. Well being encouraged to blog out my thoughts once again! I'm glad I have such a faithful core group.
Liking crab-mayo (in sandwiches) myself, I never questioned why Penelope always eats the same thing - crab-mayo croissant during our pre-cell dinnertime at 'thousand golden'. Maybe we should have a variety of food then? Its boring to just eat the same thing and drink the same thing every time... Then again...As I was thinking about it, I realised something. It was like an epiphany - like the feeling of when the world floats around you and you have gained some deep insight through a simple thing.
I've read recently that one of the pitfalls for leaders and managers is their decision-making. And what you put into your mouth most of the time, is purely your own choice. So don't sue McDs for making you fat. With so many healthy choices available, the bulge on our tummies can only be blamed for making uninformed or unwise decisions. For me, I am not particular about food, but invariably I find myself only eating certain good food at certain places. Drinks, as well. Kie knows me so well that I usually choose to drink tehs, ice milo, green tea... at the usual kopi shops. And questioning the rest of the folks in the MPV, they too, agreed that they were more satisfied with their usual choice, than trying something new. Jean and Nerf mentioned about the 'diminishing law of marginal returns', Jean noticing that her boss after a nice lunch did not seem to be in a good mood whereas the kopi auntie had simple food court stuff and felt satisfied, perhaps more satisfied. In a world of variety, the simple decisions that we make - even deciding where and what to eat, can shave off minutes of time for ourselves. The way I see it, time is money...So, you decide to pay yourself right now. For me I usually don't take any time at all to decide what I want to eat since its usually bread or 2 variations from banquet. That leaves me with a free lunchtime to blog, read motivational articles and etc.
Many people are divided about this, they claim that it's 'stealing time' from your company (paying your time with $)...But I beg to differ. In my temp admin job nearly two years ago, the quality of time management that I practised... in my 9am-6pm job, I always finished my daily work at...3pm! And the rest of the time (I had to stay put) I rewarded myself with surfing and chatting on msn. Pay yourself with the time you have, it's one of the best ways to survive. It also helped me in my one-year degree studies : I'm nocturnal, and utilising the weekend, I often start working on projects around 10PM, often finishing around 5AM. Then it's to school at 10, so I took a 3 hour nap before that. Basically my time clock was opposite from the rest, but it served me well. I found I could work for hours without interruptions during that period, especially as it was quiet at home with no one to bother me - internet connection was faster, too.
I don't often say "I'm busy", though I am, truly... but I also have large pockets of time which leave me quite bored if I am not rejuvenating. Honestly, when people tell me they are busy I find it quite funny, because to all aspects, I am busier than them, but I see more people, meet more friends, (earn more money probably) and have more free time then them. My Rich Dad is super busy, but he can always schedule you in, as long as you tell him a week in advance. =)
In a nutshell, my ''crab mayo'' revelation teaches me not to look at things only at the surface, and to do some introspective revelation on why am I acting up in certain ways. It's been said that the greatest baseball player of all time is Babe Ruth. Even here when we don't play baseball, we have heard about him. He has hit the most homeruns in his playing seasons, more than anyone in the world.
But what not many people know is that he has an almost equivalent number of failures (failing to hit), too.
I've made a couple of mistakes (admin!) in my work today...it is quite troublesome as I have to go back to the clients to re-sign something I've left out. Bummer. Plus the rain, it makes things worse, slows everything down. Manager keeps laughing at me... perhaps because she has made such mistakes in the past! Well, I could have blamed it on the lack of concentration, because it was truly rushed - both clients rushed in and out, being busy people. Or blamed it on the short time I had to view it... Whatever. I kept reminding myself today that the more mistakes I make today, the more successes I will have in the future. At the very least, I can learn more ''people skills'', like sincerely apologizing profusely to people, not something I enjoy doing much. I can also learn not to make the very same mistake again! (Both are different, by the way.) Initially I was beating myself over it because I had to rectify it (and being time-consuming), quite a bummer. But when I looked at it differently, I became calmer, walked more leisurely, and enjoyed my day a little bit more (only that my toes were wet and sad.) The way we view mistakes and failures are really important for us to succeed in having a better day, and in what we do. I guess everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes the way they react to it is a further mistake. Many relationship mistakes causes us to react within ourselves emotionally. "Why did I even consider going out with him?" "Why did I let him do that to me/vice versa..." I see so many females in church and lesser males, that is the norm actually. But, I realised most of the leaders are males and not females. Why? I don't believe there is a gender stereotype or 'glass ceiling' in The Church, especially since we came from a female-leadership background. But why are most of the leaders today males? ...
I believe the answer lies in our emotional state of well-being. From what I've seen, many females have a lot of mindsets they place upon themselves, believing they can not be a good leader. They also need time to resolve their 'sins' - For guys, I think they can be more focused, when they decide to step forth, not much can hold them back. I've seen more men than women fulfil their full time callings. I've seen more men than women rise up to be leaders in a short time. (Though, I've also observed the ones that rise up fast are not as good as the women who take their time, haha!) In reality most women think they have issues, problems they need to resolve before being leaders, thus needing a lot of encouragement. Of course, no one, when asked to be a leader or a manager, would respond YES! (Maybe except me) and be very enthusiatic about it. But, being a leader also means you can have emotional issues... It's just that you handle it very differently from the rest. You see potential in every person, and a learning experience in every situation. When people question you about your actions, you take it as they need clarification, and maybe it's in their job scope to question you. When people ask you about your leadership plans, it means they are thinking hard about how to help you as well, and they have spent their time thinking about you. So, help yourself by sharing what you possibly can, unless, of course, you totally do not value their opinion. People have said very silly things to me about being a leader/my leadership that is almost laughable, coming from their inexperience. But just take it as a learning curve, they have nothing against you anyways and would probably be glad to see you succeed.
I hope to see more young women taking initiatives for their lives as well. I read something very thought-provoking on a motivational blog, about goals.
It says that if we are not setting clear, concise goals, or we do not set goals at all (Remember your friend who says that he doesn't make any resolutions, it's his resolution NOT to!) that we would just spend our lives achieving the goals of others. The goal of your local fast food chain, of your banker, of your financial planner, of your friends and ... get the point. It's scary if we look at it this way. I'm determined now not to spend my life - I have only one, anyway, to achieve the goals of others.
Was sharing my insights on personal issues in the ''MPV'' yesterday. Well being encouraged to blog out my thoughts once again! I'm glad I have such a faithful core group.
Liking crab-mayo (in sandwiches) myself, I never questioned why Penelope always eats the same thing - crab-mayo croissant during our pre-cell dinnertime at 'thousand golden'. Maybe we should have a variety of food then? Its boring to just eat the same thing and drink the same thing every time... Then again...As I was thinking about it, I realised something. It was like an epiphany - like the feeling of when the world floats around you and you have gained some deep insight through a simple thing.
I've read recently that one of the pitfalls for leaders and managers is their decision-making. And what you put into your mouth most of the time, is purely your own choice. So don't sue McDs for making you fat. With so many healthy choices available, the bulge on our tummies can only be blamed for making uninformed or unwise decisions. For me, I am not particular about food, but invariably I find myself only eating certain good food at certain places. Drinks, as well. Kie knows me so well that I usually choose to drink tehs, ice milo, green tea... at the usual kopi shops. And questioning the rest of the folks in the MPV, they too, agreed that they were more satisfied with their usual choice, than trying something new. Jean and Nerf mentioned about the 'diminishing law of marginal returns', Jean noticing that her boss after a nice lunch did not seem to be in a good mood whereas the kopi auntie had simple food court stuff and felt satisfied, perhaps more satisfied. In a world of variety, the simple decisions that we make - even deciding where and what to eat, can shave off minutes of time for ourselves. The way I see it, time is money...So, you decide to pay yourself right now. For me I usually don't take any time at all to decide what I want to eat since its usually bread or 2 variations from banquet. That leaves me with a free lunchtime to blog, read motivational articles and etc.
Many people are divided about this, they claim that it's 'stealing time' from your company (paying your time with $)...But I beg to differ. In my temp admin job nearly two years ago, the quality of time management that I practised... in my 9am-6pm job, I always finished my daily work at...3pm! And the rest of the time (I had to stay put) I rewarded myself with surfing and chatting on msn. Pay yourself with the time you have, it's one of the best ways to survive. It also helped me in my one-year degree studies : I'm nocturnal, and utilising the weekend, I often start working on projects around 10PM, often finishing around 5AM. Then it's to school at 10, so I took a 3 hour nap before that. Basically my time clock was opposite from the rest, but it served me well. I found I could work for hours without interruptions during that period, especially as it was quiet at home with no one to bother me - internet connection was faster, too.
I don't often say "I'm busy", though I am, truly... but I also have large pockets of time which leave me quite bored if I am not rejuvenating. Honestly, when people tell me they are busy I find it quite funny, because to all aspects, I am busier than them, but I see more people, meet more friends, (earn more money probably) and have more free time then them. My Rich Dad is super busy, but he can always schedule you in, as long as you tell him a week in advance. =)
In a nutshell, my ''crab mayo'' revelation teaches me not to look at things only at the surface, and to do some introspective revelation on why am I acting up in certain ways. It's been said that the greatest baseball player of all time is Babe Ruth. Even here when we don't play baseball, we have heard about him. He has hit the most homeruns in his playing seasons, more than anyone in the world.
But what not many people know is that he has an almost equivalent number of failures (failing to hit), too.
I've made a couple of mistakes (admin!) in my work today...it is quite troublesome as I have to go back to the clients to re-sign something I've left out. Bummer. Plus the rain, it makes things worse, slows everything down. Manager keeps laughing at me... perhaps because she has made such mistakes in the past! Well, I could have blamed it on the lack of concentration, because it was truly rushed - both clients rushed in and out, being busy people. Or blamed it on the short time I had to view it... Whatever. I kept reminding myself today that the more mistakes I make today, the more successes I will have in the future. At the very least, I can learn more ''people skills'', like sincerely apologizing profusely to people, not something I enjoy doing much. I can also learn not to make the very same mistake again! (Both are different, by the way.) Initially I was beating myself over it because I had to rectify it (and being time-consuming), quite a bummer. But when I looked at it differently, I became calmer, walked more leisurely, and enjoyed my day a little bit more (only that my toes were wet and sad.) The way we view mistakes and failures are really important for us to succeed in having a better day, and in what we do. I guess everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes the way they react to it is a further mistake. Many relationship mistakes causes us to react within ourselves emotionally. "Why did I even consider going out with him?" "Why did I let him do that to me/vice versa..." I see so many females in church and lesser males, that is the norm actually. But, I realised most of the leaders are males and not females. Why? I don't believe there is a gender stereotype or 'glass ceiling' in The Church, especially since we came from a female-leadership background. But why are most of the leaders today males? ...
I believe the answer lies in our emotional state of well-being. From what I've seen, many females have a lot of mindsets they place upon themselves, believing they can not be a good leader. They also need time to resolve their 'sins' - For guys, I think they can be more focused, when they decide to step forth, not much can hold them back. I've seen more men than women fulfil their full time callings. I've seen more men than women rise up to be leaders in a short time. (Though, I've also observed the ones that rise up fast are not as good as the women who take their time, haha!) In reality most women think they have issues, problems they need to resolve before being leaders, thus needing a lot of encouragement. Of course, no one, when asked to be a leader or a manager, would respond YES! (Maybe except me) and be very enthusiatic about it. But, being a leader also means you can have emotional issues... It's just that you handle it very differently from the rest. You see potential in every person, and a learning experience in every situation. When people question you about your actions, you take it as they need clarification, and maybe it's in their job scope to question you. When people ask you about your leadership plans, it means they are thinking hard about how to help you as well, and they have spent their time thinking about you. So, help yourself by sharing what you possibly can, unless, of course, you totally do not value their opinion. People have said very silly things to me about being a leader/my leadership that is almost laughable, coming from their inexperience. But just take it as a learning curve, they have nothing against you anyways and would probably be glad to see you succeed.
I hope to see more young women taking initiatives for their lives as well. I read something very thought-provoking on a motivational blog, about goals.
It says that if we are not setting clear, concise goals, or we do not set goals at all (Remember your friend who says that he doesn't make any resolutions, it's his resolution NOT to!) that we would just spend our lives achieving the goals of others. The goal of your local fast food chain, of your banker, of your financial planner, of your friends and ... get the point. It's scary if we look at it this way. I'm determined now not to spend my life - I have only one, anyway, to achieve the goals of others.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
All kinds of people
I like this quote, but I cannot find references to credit it to the first person who said it. Goes something like,
"Be magnanimous in victory, gracious in defeat."
I kept thinking about it and truly, this word magnanimous being put to action is really hard to find these days. Even doing something simple like a favor, we expect thanks, a treat maybe, at least kind words to justify that act. Then, I think that you are not doing a favor anymore. Sometimes I am like that too, especially when I am busy... but how nice it is, when people tell you after you thank them: "Hey, don't mention."
I thanked one of my client for re-investing in me recently. He even took the trouble to come all the way down to The Office to pass me the cheque, when he could have just told me to collect it from him at his convienience. And when I thanked him, he actually told me in return, Thank You, for the opportunity! A gush of warmth filled me as I read that sms.
Magnanimous and gracious.
To move forward, I often see several organizations and people doing the wrong thing. President Roosevelt said something like this, I am not sure this is what was meant but: If you do something, and it turns out to be right, you are moving two steps forward. If it turns out to be wrong, you are still moving a step forward. The mistake is when you do NOTHING.
And I guess NOTHING is what a lot of people do. What do you do with your free time? Nothing. How are you going to get what you want, be a good leader, or even achieve some form of success if we waste through life, not even bothering to pick up a newspaper that is in front of you for some education. Even some pathetic so-called believers, they have tons of excuses for their spiritual apathy. No time is one. But everyone is given 24 hours in a day, and if cell leaders can accomplish more than you in the same time frame, what is your excuse for not developing personally? Actually I find it hard to have compassion for people who keep complaining and do nothing. The many loser guys in The Office do that the whole day. Saying, they are not aware, they need more info, more time, more etc. Please. When most of the time all they do is surf the internet.
I went to a certain restaurant yesterday to book a table for Kie's birthday. Went there about 30 mins beforehand. The waiter I spoke to was pleasant enough, but he directed me to a lady who said curtly: "No, we are not able to reserve...etc" I just smiled and asked, "Why?" Instead of just walking away. It turned out that she thought I had actually called earlier (which I had not) and was saying she cannot find my name or something. When she realised her mistake, she immediately turned and found another lady to assist me, meanwhile menacingly hissing, "YOU (the 1st waiter) should have said so earlier, why you did not tell me." I so wanted to say, C'mon Lady, you could have asked me politely first before just saying NO, and if you had heard wrongly, don't blame others for your mistake. People's behaviour really shows them up and unfortunately, if you are unteachable, you can only move that far forward. That is why some people rise up to become great managers and leaders and others only so-so, or being stuck in a rut for years, complaining about their situation, but unwilling to move or make the changes necessary to succeed. So what do I have to change in life? Lots.
And I've realised that the best way to move my organization forward is to have the best idea for everyone. Left behind by your own attitude? I say, too bad. Maybe in another organization that values mundane task-doing, you might succeed. Don't blame The Office, your Manager who pep talks you everyday, or any other external factor...be prepared to be a loser guy forever.
"Be magnanimous in victory, gracious in defeat."
I kept thinking about it and truly, this word magnanimous being put to action is really hard to find these days. Even doing something simple like a favor, we expect thanks, a treat maybe, at least kind words to justify that act. Then, I think that you are not doing a favor anymore. Sometimes I am like that too, especially when I am busy... but how nice it is, when people tell you after you thank them: "Hey, don't mention."
I thanked one of my client for re-investing in me recently. He even took the trouble to come all the way down to The Office to pass me the cheque, when he could have just told me to collect it from him at his convienience. And when I thanked him, he actually told me in return, Thank You, for the opportunity! A gush of warmth filled me as I read that sms.
Magnanimous and gracious.
To move forward, I often see several organizations and people doing the wrong thing. President Roosevelt said something like this, I am not sure this is what was meant but: If you do something, and it turns out to be right, you are moving two steps forward. If it turns out to be wrong, you are still moving a step forward. The mistake is when you do NOTHING.
And I guess NOTHING is what a lot of people do. What do you do with your free time? Nothing. How are you going to get what you want, be a good leader, or even achieve some form of success if we waste through life, not even bothering to pick up a newspaper that is in front of you for some education. Even some pathetic so-called believers, they have tons of excuses for their spiritual apathy. No time is one. But everyone is given 24 hours in a day, and if cell leaders can accomplish more than you in the same time frame, what is your excuse for not developing personally? Actually I find it hard to have compassion for people who keep complaining and do nothing. The many loser guys in The Office do that the whole day. Saying, they are not aware, they need more info, more time, more etc. Please. When most of the time all they do is surf the internet.
I went to a certain restaurant yesterday to book a table for Kie's birthday. Went there about 30 mins beforehand. The waiter I spoke to was pleasant enough, but he directed me to a lady who said curtly: "No, we are not able to reserve...etc" I just smiled and asked, "Why?" Instead of just walking away. It turned out that she thought I had actually called earlier (which I had not) and was saying she cannot find my name or something. When she realised her mistake, she immediately turned and found another lady to assist me, meanwhile menacingly hissing, "YOU (the 1st waiter) should have said so earlier, why you did not tell me." I so wanted to say, C'mon Lady, you could have asked me politely first before just saying NO, and if you had heard wrongly, don't blame others for your mistake. People's behaviour really shows them up and unfortunately, if you are unteachable, you can only move that far forward. That is why some people rise up to become great managers and leaders and others only so-so, or being stuck in a rut for years, complaining about their situation, but unwilling to move or make the changes necessary to succeed. So what do I have to change in life? Lots.
And I've realised that the best way to move my organization forward is to have the best idea for everyone. Left behind by your own attitude? I say, too bad. Maybe in another organization that values mundane task-doing, you might succeed. Don't blame The Office, your Manager who pep talks you everyday, or any other external factor...be prepared to be a loser guy forever.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Things to do when you're bored
I don't get bored usually, too tired to be bored.
But I get insanely bored...when there's nothing to do.
1. Search the net for knock-knock jokes and memorize the funniest 10 to make you adorable to any kid's parents you gotta be nice to.
Duration: 1 hour
2. Give yourself a do-it yourself manicure with base coat, two coats of nail polish, nice stickers and top coat.
Duration: Fingers 3 hours (totally dry) can do it while at a cafe with a girlfriend
Toes 1 hour
3. Make lists. Can be a breakdown of daily expenses (Calculate how much you spent in total yesterday, including transport!) Or, much longer ones like expenses every month - Always seems like you don't need to spend as much as you do. Or list down all ex-crushes, best friends, etc etc.
Duration: 2 hours
4. Search Wikipedia for historical places and wow people with new information. Try Hamilton, Alaska, Niagara, Iroquoi, ...
Duration: 1 hour per place
5. Make a day where you try not to spend $ (or maybe only $2) or something along that line. Walk backwards the whole day, or read a book from back to front. Maybe arrange all your clothes by color or function instead of just junking it in the closet.
Duration : Whole day!
Any other bored tips?
Have a good day, readers. =)
But I get insanely bored...when there's nothing to do.
1. Search the net for knock-knock jokes and memorize the funniest 10 to make you adorable to any kid's parents you gotta be nice to.
Duration: 1 hour
2. Give yourself a do-it yourself manicure with base coat, two coats of nail polish, nice stickers and top coat.
Duration: Fingers 3 hours (totally dry) can do it while at a cafe with a girlfriend
Toes 1 hour
3. Make lists. Can be a breakdown of daily expenses (Calculate how much you spent in total yesterday, including transport!) Or, much longer ones like expenses every month - Always seems like you don't need to spend as much as you do. Or list down all ex-crushes, best friends, etc etc.
Duration: 2 hours
4. Search Wikipedia for historical places and wow people with new information. Try Hamilton, Alaska, Niagara, Iroquoi, ...
Duration: 1 hour per place
5. Make a day where you try not to spend $ (or maybe only $2) or something along that line. Walk backwards the whole day, or read a book from back to front. Maybe arrange all your clothes by color or function instead of just junking it in the closet.
Duration : Whole day!
Any other bored tips?
Have a good day, readers. =)
Friday, January 05, 2007
Everything you wanted to know but was afraid to ask...
Had a nice time hearing people share about their goal-setting for 2007. Realised that...
Guys can be ALL into their jobs...
Girls can be ALL into guys (like sacrifice everything!)
Guys that are ALL into girls are loser guys... AND
That is why there are a lot of girls in church and a lot of loser guys!
Haha. One of my deep insights, don't be offended.
I am embarking on a mission to bring my tall, hunky, cute guy pals to my new cell and church, but first I have to understand their psyche. But I digress, back to goal setting.
I'm glad that I started this week to be really focused in work. My work has a different kind of stress, the kind that make you question 'Who am I', and toss and turn in bed at night. I was asked this question today and truly? I don't know, yet. Sure I know what kind of people I like and things I like to eat, play with, etc but really, who am I? And who are you? Are you offended by being defined by the kind of work you do, or do you take a pride to it?
The kind of goals we set actually defines the kind of people we are...and want to be.
As well as how we are going to achieve it.
I want to be an expert in my job... to know everything there is to know. I do take pride in rattling off facts yet find it increasingly hard to remember them. I guess knowing them gives me a sort of self-confidence. Where book smart and people/street smart matters, here.
Success is not only about material wealth... it's also by feelings and experiences. I hope that in the year ahead, I will find a balance between my social life and the work scene! That in all my relationships, I will find meaning, and fulfilment. I really want to make things better.
StudMuff gave me good advice recently, I am thankful for his - and others' well-meaning concerns. Honestly, if you want to be a friend to others, just support them in their low times and share the energy in the high times. I hate people who just sit on their butts giving good advice with none of the experience or sincerity in their words. These experiences really shape us, to be stronger and wiser, so no matter what the outcome, thank God for bringing us through it! StudMuff said, if we're going through a rough patch, just give yourself 2 weeks (or some other time frame) to be sad and after that, bounce back, forget about it, move on! It makes sense, that.
Guys can be ALL into their jobs...
Girls can be ALL into guys (like sacrifice everything!)
Guys that are ALL into girls are loser guys... AND
That is why there are a lot of girls in church and a lot of loser guys!
Haha. One of my deep insights, don't be offended.
I am embarking on a mission to bring my tall, hunky, cute guy pals to my new cell and church, but first I have to understand their psyche. But I digress, back to goal setting.
I'm glad that I started this week to be really focused in work. My work has a different kind of stress, the kind that make you question 'Who am I', and toss and turn in bed at night. I was asked this question today and truly? I don't know, yet. Sure I know what kind of people I like and things I like to eat, play with, etc but really, who am I? And who are you? Are you offended by being defined by the kind of work you do, or do you take a pride to it?
The kind of goals we set actually defines the kind of people we are...and want to be.
As well as how we are going to achieve it.
I want to be an expert in my job... to know everything there is to know. I do take pride in rattling off facts yet find it increasingly hard to remember them. I guess knowing them gives me a sort of self-confidence. Where book smart and people/street smart matters, here.
Success is not only about material wealth... it's also by feelings and experiences. I hope that in the year ahead, I will find a balance between my social life and the work scene! That in all my relationships, I will find meaning, and fulfilment. I really want to make things better.
StudMuff gave me good advice recently, I am thankful for his - and others' well-meaning concerns. Honestly, if you want to be a friend to others, just support them in their low times and share the energy in the high times. I hate people who just sit on their butts giving good advice with none of the experience or sincerity in their words. These experiences really shape us, to be stronger and wiser, so no matter what the outcome, thank God for bringing us through it! StudMuff said, if we're going through a rough patch, just give yourself 2 weeks (or some other time frame) to be sad and after that, bounce back, forget about it, move on! It makes sense, that.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Love me, love my friends
Love me.
We meet people in life that reminds us of what we should be - or how we used to be, and what we want to be.
Sometimes it's hard being ourselves. I look at working women who have young kids and wonder how they can serve, yet look after the family and earn money at the same time. I always believe there exists a certain affinity between people that you like and want to know better. I recently met a stunning young woman who dazzled me so much that...I want to be like her. If I was a guy I would chase her (she's married though)...Having two businesses, yet always looks impeccable, with a smile for everyone and bright, cheery eyes and the charistmatic-ness found in few individuals.
Beauty is not everything, I have seen how men are attracted to less-than-pretty faces because, their true personality really shines through. In fact, I realised many pretty faces have so many problems that it is better to avoid them altogether. Same for the pretty boys. But I digress. It is important to look good-put together and stuff, but not to obsess over every part - perfectionism gets us nowhere and some genetic qualities are impossible to change anyways. Despite everyone saying I look good with thi height and size (buying clothes IS a breeze, if not for my choosiness) I have insecurities about certain parts of my body that I always wished to change, if I could. Even considered surgery... only later as I grew older I actually realised I am unique and if I change, I would only look like the commoner gals, which is really not-beautiful when it's common. So, I grew to like my 'flaws'... Though all of us are on the journey of looking more fab each year! I really invested in certain skincare products which I felt had great improvement, so maybe next on my list would be a real teeth whitening or something like that, if I can afford after all my bills.
And I do have a fetish for manicures. It's so nice to have beautiful, shaped nails. Especially at work! Makes a world of difference.
==
Really nice to spend a large part of New Year's Eve and the day with pals. Especially those who specially make time for you. At The Church, we went there for the first time, the place was wonderfully big - and we were the first people to go up to the still-renovating roof garden. Haha! I guess they thought holy people won't bother to try the doors that have a 'no entry' sign.
Travis called shortly after the service, I was kind of hoping that he would. After all, the time we spend sharing together is so minimal considering that we are always in a crowd. Shiner came, too...and I thoroughly enjoyed myself with them and the members, watching movies till dawn. Felt as wide awake as Hammy the red squirrel, the days of rest did me good! Always wanted to stay up the whole night but no one bothered to keep me company till yesterday, hoho! I really treasure Travis, all these years. It is my secret wish to hug him to bits! And shock him in the process, haha. He's more than a friend (nothing scandalous meant here) with his nature of going out of the way to care for me...sigh. I'm really blessed to have all these people around me I know, but me being me, I always forget about them after a while - then I'd feel super guilty for doing that.
Being in a relationship, it's typical of me to forsake all and devote myself to the guy. But I guess it's shallow that way - to neglect friends only to look for them in times of doubt. Friendships are only waiting to happen, to blossom, if you let them. Despite the differences, (and the sheer idiocy of some people), I think we never know what surprises are in store for us. The unlikeliest of people may be the best of friends. We are so 'unsuitable-looking' in real life, Travis and Shiner always go out in ugly sneakers (New Balance), track pants, tees... I do wish that they can wear like cool stuff, it seems weird for me to go town with them, togged in this attire, but hey, I don't care. (In Travis' defence, he has been looking for 2 years for a loafer-type shoe but simply can't find, so it's the sneakers so far...) And, I do make friends with all types of guys, gay, toot, IT, design, teachers, whatever. It's the girls with long hair and guniang taste I cannot understand.
Friends!
True friends, I love them.
We meet people in life that reminds us of what we should be - or how we used to be, and what we want to be.
Sometimes it's hard being ourselves. I look at working women who have young kids and wonder how they can serve, yet look after the family and earn money at the same time. I always believe there exists a certain affinity between people that you like and want to know better. I recently met a stunning young woman who dazzled me so much that...I want to be like her. If I was a guy I would chase her (she's married though)...Having two businesses, yet always looks impeccable, with a smile for everyone and bright, cheery eyes and the charistmatic-ness found in few individuals.
Beauty is not everything, I have seen how men are attracted to less-than-pretty faces because, their true personality really shines through. In fact, I realised many pretty faces have so many problems that it is better to avoid them altogether. Same for the pretty boys. But I digress. It is important to look good-put together and stuff, but not to obsess over every part - perfectionism gets us nowhere and some genetic qualities are impossible to change anyways. Despite everyone saying I look good with thi height and size (buying clothes IS a breeze, if not for my choosiness) I have insecurities about certain parts of my body that I always wished to change, if I could. Even considered surgery... only later as I grew older I actually realised I am unique and if I change, I would only look like the commoner gals, which is really not-beautiful when it's common. So, I grew to like my 'flaws'... Though all of us are on the journey of looking more fab each year! I really invested in certain skincare products which I felt had great improvement, so maybe next on my list would be a real teeth whitening or something like that, if I can afford after all my bills.
And I do have a fetish for manicures. It's so nice to have beautiful, shaped nails. Especially at work! Makes a world of difference.
==
Really nice to spend a large part of New Year's Eve and the day with pals. Especially those who specially make time for you. At The Church, we went there for the first time, the place was wonderfully big - and we were the first people to go up to the still-renovating roof garden. Haha! I guess they thought holy people won't bother to try the doors that have a 'no entry' sign.
Travis called shortly after the service, I was kind of hoping that he would. After all, the time we spend sharing together is so minimal considering that we are always in a crowd. Shiner came, too...and I thoroughly enjoyed myself with them and the members, watching movies till dawn. Felt as wide awake as Hammy the red squirrel, the days of rest did me good! Always wanted to stay up the whole night but no one bothered to keep me company till yesterday, hoho! I really treasure Travis, all these years. It is my secret wish to hug him to bits! And shock him in the process, haha. He's more than a friend (nothing scandalous meant here) with his nature of going out of the way to care for me...sigh. I'm really blessed to have all these people around me I know, but me being me, I always forget about them after a while - then I'd feel super guilty for doing that.
Being in a relationship, it's typical of me to forsake all and devote myself to the guy. But I guess it's shallow that way - to neglect friends only to look for them in times of doubt. Friendships are only waiting to happen, to blossom, if you let them. Despite the differences, (and the sheer idiocy of some people), I think we never know what surprises are in store for us. The unlikeliest of people may be the best of friends. We are so 'unsuitable-looking' in real life, Travis and Shiner always go out in ugly sneakers (New Balance), track pants, tees... I do wish that they can wear like cool stuff, it seems weird for me to go town with them, togged in this attire, but hey, I don't care. (In Travis' defence, he has been looking for 2 years for a loafer-type shoe but simply can't find, so it's the sneakers so far...) And, I do make friends with all types of guys, gay, toot, IT, design, teachers, whatever. It's the girls with long hair and guniang taste I cannot understand.
Friends!
True friends, I love them.
Friday, December 29, 2006
10 good advice
'The problem is not that there are problems... The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem'
-Theodore Rubin.
In spoof of BBC's 100 things you never knew since this year (The egg came first, plus 99 more facts from this year's news)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/index.html#a007948
Well I leave you with some good advice for what I've learnt this year!!!
1. Invest in a good, lightweight, portable umbrella. Don't buy long umbrellas unless you want to leave it at someone's house or office... (Inevitably happens!)
2. The phone/camera/laptop/pda/mp3 player... you like will definitely have a new edition 2-6 months from the time you buy it. So either bide your time or just get it and not regret, lah...
3. If someone asks you what you think, tell them honestly what you think. Instead of jeopardizing the relationship, in time they will appreciate it. And if they don't, it shows that they are not worth keeping, in time. But, only if they really sincerely ask you about it!
4. Always invest in a good haircut. Makes a world of difference from looking unkempt/aunty/old to upper class and chic. Those who have been to Henry's at Fingerworks know what I mean...
5. Sms your friends/partners once in a while to let them know you care...and always make time to catch up over coffee, no matter how many silly excuses you have. Because, when you really need them, they will be there for you too.
6. Lend people money they have no means of returning, and you have no need of in the current. Think about it... This is really blessing the poor, the hungry, the full timers etc. I did this twice this year and really feel good!
7. Donate blood. Can save people's lives and you will think that it can get rid of your toxins you have stored up over the years. Free somemore.
8. Never stop learning new things. Even when you are surfing the net or doing some mundane stuff, you can always learn about, say, Tourette's Syndrome, instead of browsing blogs and getting all worked up over WSM (it's overly hot, don't you think?) and raging about the GST, the govt, and whatnot. Precisely if you can't be bothered about voicing your opinions where it matters, why let it affect yourself in such a way. Ditto for all anti-XX or anti-something, go improve your brain with some useful information found online.
9. Take up a hobby and involve loved ones or friends. For me I like to shop alone (cuz I don't enjoy shopping and really browse fast to get what I want) but I find it really nice to have an exercise buddy, walking partner, or someone to play sylvanian families with me.
10. Write more. Writing's an art we've learnt that has sadly been lost. I try to write - even penning down my schedules though I have a pda. There's nothing like journalling down thoughts or writing pass it on notes - something that has almost but disappeared. Bring back the pencils and paper! Scribbling, and doodling also counts.
So far so good...Have a good day!
-Theodore Rubin.
In spoof of BBC's 100 things you never knew since this year (The egg came first, plus 99 more facts from this year's news)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/index.html#a007948
Well I leave you with some good advice for what I've learnt this year!!!
1. Invest in a good, lightweight, portable umbrella. Don't buy long umbrellas unless you want to leave it at someone's house or office... (Inevitably happens!)
2. The phone/camera/laptop/pda/mp3 player... you like will definitely have a new edition 2-6 months from the time you buy it. So either bide your time or just get it and not regret, lah...
3. If someone asks you what you think, tell them honestly what you think. Instead of jeopardizing the relationship, in time they will appreciate it. And if they don't, it shows that they are not worth keeping, in time. But, only if they really sincerely ask you about it!
4. Always invest in a good haircut. Makes a world of difference from looking unkempt/aunty/old to upper class and chic. Those who have been to Henry's at Fingerworks know what I mean...
5. Sms your friends/partners once in a while to let them know you care...and always make time to catch up over coffee, no matter how many silly excuses you have. Because, when you really need them, they will be there for you too.
6. Lend people money they have no means of returning, and you have no need of in the current. Think about it... This is really blessing the poor, the hungry, the full timers etc. I did this twice this year and really feel good!
7. Donate blood. Can save people's lives and you will think that it can get rid of your toxins you have stored up over the years. Free somemore.
8. Never stop learning new things. Even when you are surfing the net or doing some mundane stuff, you can always learn about, say, Tourette's Syndrome, instead of browsing blogs and getting all worked up over WSM (it's overly hot, don't you think?) and raging about the GST, the govt, and whatnot. Precisely if you can't be bothered about voicing your opinions where it matters, why let it affect yourself in such a way. Ditto for all anti-XX or anti-something, go improve your brain with some useful information found online.
9. Take up a hobby and involve loved ones or friends. For me I like to shop alone (cuz I don't enjoy shopping and really browse fast to get what I want) but I find it really nice to have an exercise buddy, walking partner, or someone to play sylvanian families with me.
10. Write more. Writing's an art we've learnt that has sadly been lost. I try to write - even penning down my schedules though I have a pda. There's nothing like journalling down thoughts or writing pass it on notes - something that has almost but disappeared. Bring back the pencils and paper! Scribbling, and doodling also counts.
So far so good...Have a good day!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Allegra and the Fall.
A short story, copyright mine.
She closed her eyes and yawned, so sweetly, like a little kitten from a long, peaceful sleep. The digital hologram clock on her wall bleeped. "28th December, 2015. 1:34 pm." The alarm she set days earlier roused her into a wakeful tension, her body shrugged together, her languid eyes alert and darting around cautiously for one second. Then, sighing, she gathered up her wide skirt, having fallen around her carelessly, and stood up from the warm bed. Almost in a trance, she walked slowly to the doorstep and down the stairs, her beautifully expensive heels click-clacking on the thin layer of ice crystals formed beneath.
He watched Allegra from a distance, from the safety of the heated study, draped in a thick shawl meant to be tossed on the couch. He smiled at her leaving figure gently. After all they had went through, he felt lucky to have her. They were the only ones left for each other in this world. "I love you, Mark" she had whispered onto the mirror in the parlour before resting, and the sound of her musical voice had turned the heat and light attuned mirror into swirls of beautiful hearts with the message, almost like a kaleidoscopic twinkle of poetry, each time you look at it.
People's memories were short, she told herself as she boarded the Shinkansen. No one here remembered what happened anymore. Newspapers suffered terribly during the Fall. Now, the only way they could survive was to devote most of their electronic space to financial, and health reports. No real news was ever found since it was not lucrative. As predicted, the 2-million dollar healthcare industry in Sangria aggresively grew in the last 5 years to a 5 trillion dollar one. But the side effects of all the multivitamins and self-cancer checks was that people had forgotten what was important to them. After the Fall in Sangria, houses were built compactly without spaces for books. No one read anymore and fewer books were produced each year as paper became increasingly scarce and ibooks sold for a mere sum onweb. The radiation and waves from the various digital implements had severe debilitating effects on the memory aspect of the mind, but it was only 20 more years later when they realised the permanence of short-term memory had taken place.
Allegra also, had forgotten most of it, only that the mention of "The Fall" made her shudder and seem to be in shock for sometime. Saving precious, expensive paper, she had years ago written an account, and each year this day, in memory, she would go to the Grounds and read it. The Grounds was a beautifully, digitally enhanced landscape with birds and fruit trees, all tropical, but transported through the digital medium to exist here in Sangria.
Allegra sat under a cherry tree with rainbow colored cherries and opened an airtight capsule. The air in Sangria had discolored all natural elements, even clothes now had to be woven with only nylon threads. Most of their clothes were nylon now, the manmade fabric withstanding the harsh elements of weather and radiation. She perched herself comfortably and read.
"Dec 28, 2009.
It was one year ago that these events happened, something so terrible that even today I shudder to think about it. The violent weather which for some years now have been warning us about things to come: Earthquakes and Tsunamis, sudden electrical charges, flash floods. In Sorepa, we were ravaged by floods all around. Being a peninsula, we had no chance of survival. My meagre items were all washed away, the legacy that my parents had built up for myself and my older brother Myerl vanished in hours. The grief of losing such was replaced with joy at finding them all alive. However on the way to the refugee camp at Sangria, my brother mysteriously disappeared along with other guys his age.
Horror stories abounded for years that they were abducted mysteriously to become spies for neighboring countries, and strange evidence surfaced now and then, but I could never be sure whether Myerl is alive, and even if he was, maybe tortured, or transformed so much that perhaps death was a better option. I lost my parents within six months of each other, they both caught Rinal disease, after the floods, their respiratory systems collapsed. Now, Rinal can be controlled with just a cocktail of pills, but back then, the whole population of Sorepa died because of this strange disease. I survived because some strange antibodies in my body acclimatised myself almost instantly, and because of Mark.'
Allegra smiled as she read this. It was a blessing, even now when Mark was like this, to have him. She never doubted his evident love for her, only sighed when he did not have the strength of mind to speak it. Deep inside, she believed that in this turbulent future, some Divine Being would help them all. She uttered a soundless prayer, for any audible words she said could put them in danger of the Sangria elders, who planted hearing trees all over the countryside.
'After being in a refugee camp for 3 years, I realised that I was not so luckless after all. I saw young children who never knew they were born of noble birth and crept about on their forelegs, looking pitiful and detestable. I did not bother about the older ones, with purple welts and boils up their legs, a sure sign that later Rinal disease was to ravage them. Each day the wheezing sounds could be heard as one by one, the older ones succumbed. They went almost peacefully as though they had held their breath themselves, so peacefully that I could not grieve them.
Mark was a Sangrian not older than I, who had offered to help out in the refugee camp. A true martyr he was! But actually he was learning medicals, and this knowledge later proved to be useful to me. I saw his face as one with no beauty of form, a luckless creature, built stolidly, huge arms and hands with a weak chin and droopy eyes, not like the noble, graceful form we were used to seeing. Yet, there was something about him that enchanted me. The way his eyes watched me, with care. The way he would offer me help. I loved him for this. I wondered if I had the luck to lead a peaceful life with a noble Sorepa once. But now that my kind was dying out, this Sangrian seemed to offer me joy, and happiness should I choose to follow him. I don't know. It has been a year now and the situation has much improved. The governance of the Seven Worlds has seen to the stability of their instruments. No one lives near the Waters anymore for fear of the Fall. Two of the Worlds are now formless, lifeless, a mere black pool of water with only strange, waterliking creatures that inhabit its surface. Noble Sorepares have migrated either into Sangria or the fierce Wilds of Shylom. And me, I have decided to make my home with Mark as long as I live.'
There were more writings beyond this sentence, but time had rendered them almost invisible. However after her memory was regained every year by this letter, Allegra relived those bitter times once again. And she rejoiced with a smile that she had things to smile about.
Their lives had been prolonged with artifical intelligence, since all sustenance had been destroyed in Sangria and most of the Seven Worlds. Mark was noiselessly pacing about the house, with a furrowed brow and only when Allegra returned, he broke into a smile. "Allegra! Allegra, my love!" She smoothed his face till it was shining brightly with unshed tears, and she, on the verge of tears itself, just invoked his name, such a dear syllable to her own heart, again and again. He would never have the intelligence to live independently on his own nor the mind to fathom medical disorders as he once did. The artifical intelligence destroyed him and he only remembered her - Allegra, and that he loved her. And that was all.
She closed her eyes and yawned, so sweetly, like a little kitten from a long, peaceful sleep. The digital hologram clock on her wall bleeped. "28th December, 2015. 1:34 pm." The alarm she set days earlier roused her into a wakeful tension, her body shrugged together, her languid eyes alert and darting around cautiously for one second. Then, sighing, she gathered up her wide skirt, having fallen around her carelessly, and stood up from the warm bed. Almost in a trance, she walked slowly to the doorstep and down the stairs, her beautifully expensive heels click-clacking on the thin layer of ice crystals formed beneath.
He watched Allegra from a distance, from the safety of the heated study, draped in a thick shawl meant to be tossed on the couch. He smiled at her leaving figure gently. After all they had went through, he felt lucky to have her. They were the only ones left for each other in this world. "I love you, Mark" she had whispered onto the mirror in the parlour before resting, and the sound of her musical voice had turned the heat and light attuned mirror into swirls of beautiful hearts with the message, almost like a kaleidoscopic twinkle of poetry, each time you look at it.
People's memories were short, she told herself as she boarded the Shinkansen. No one here remembered what happened anymore. Newspapers suffered terribly during the Fall. Now, the only way they could survive was to devote most of their electronic space to financial, and health reports. No real news was ever found since it was not lucrative. As predicted, the 2-million dollar healthcare industry in Sangria aggresively grew in the last 5 years to a 5 trillion dollar one. But the side effects of all the multivitamins and self-cancer checks was that people had forgotten what was important to them. After the Fall in Sangria, houses were built compactly without spaces for books. No one read anymore and fewer books were produced each year as paper became increasingly scarce and ibooks sold for a mere sum onweb. The radiation and waves from the various digital implements had severe debilitating effects on the memory aspect of the mind, but it was only 20 more years later when they realised the permanence of short-term memory had taken place.
Allegra also, had forgotten most of it, only that the mention of "The Fall" made her shudder and seem to be in shock for sometime. Saving precious, expensive paper, she had years ago written an account, and each year this day, in memory, she would go to the Grounds and read it. The Grounds was a beautifully, digitally enhanced landscape with birds and fruit trees, all tropical, but transported through the digital medium to exist here in Sangria.
Allegra sat under a cherry tree with rainbow colored cherries and opened an airtight capsule. The air in Sangria had discolored all natural elements, even clothes now had to be woven with only nylon threads. Most of their clothes were nylon now, the manmade fabric withstanding the harsh elements of weather and radiation. She perched herself comfortably and read.
"Dec 28, 2009.
It was one year ago that these events happened, something so terrible that even today I shudder to think about it. The violent weather which for some years now have been warning us about things to come: Earthquakes and Tsunamis, sudden electrical charges, flash floods. In Sorepa, we were ravaged by floods all around. Being a peninsula, we had no chance of survival. My meagre items were all washed away, the legacy that my parents had built up for myself and my older brother Myerl vanished in hours. The grief of losing such was replaced with joy at finding them all alive. However on the way to the refugee camp at Sangria, my brother mysteriously disappeared along with other guys his age.
Horror stories abounded for years that they were abducted mysteriously to become spies for neighboring countries, and strange evidence surfaced now and then, but I could never be sure whether Myerl is alive, and even if he was, maybe tortured, or transformed so much that perhaps death was a better option. I lost my parents within six months of each other, they both caught Rinal disease, after the floods, their respiratory systems collapsed. Now, Rinal can be controlled with just a cocktail of pills, but back then, the whole population of Sorepa died because of this strange disease. I survived because some strange antibodies in my body acclimatised myself almost instantly, and because of Mark.'
Allegra smiled as she read this. It was a blessing, even now when Mark was like this, to have him. She never doubted his evident love for her, only sighed when he did not have the strength of mind to speak it. Deep inside, she believed that in this turbulent future, some Divine Being would help them all. She uttered a soundless prayer, for any audible words she said could put them in danger of the Sangria elders, who planted hearing trees all over the countryside.
'After being in a refugee camp for 3 years, I realised that I was not so luckless after all. I saw young children who never knew they were born of noble birth and crept about on their forelegs, looking pitiful and detestable. I did not bother about the older ones, with purple welts and boils up their legs, a sure sign that later Rinal disease was to ravage them. Each day the wheezing sounds could be heard as one by one, the older ones succumbed. They went almost peacefully as though they had held their breath themselves, so peacefully that I could not grieve them.
Mark was a Sangrian not older than I, who had offered to help out in the refugee camp. A true martyr he was! But actually he was learning medicals, and this knowledge later proved to be useful to me. I saw his face as one with no beauty of form, a luckless creature, built stolidly, huge arms and hands with a weak chin and droopy eyes, not like the noble, graceful form we were used to seeing. Yet, there was something about him that enchanted me. The way his eyes watched me, with care. The way he would offer me help. I loved him for this. I wondered if I had the luck to lead a peaceful life with a noble Sorepa once. But now that my kind was dying out, this Sangrian seemed to offer me joy, and happiness should I choose to follow him. I don't know. It has been a year now and the situation has much improved. The governance of the Seven Worlds has seen to the stability of their instruments. No one lives near the Waters anymore for fear of the Fall. Two of the Worlds are now formless, lifeless, a mere black pool of water with only strange, waterliking creatures that inhabit its surface. Noble Sorepares have migrated either into Sangria or the fierce Wilds of Shylom. And me, I have decided to make my home with Mark as long as I live.'
There were more writings beyond this sentence, but time had rendered them almost invisible. However after her memory was regained every year by this letter, Allegra relived those bitter times once again. And she rejoiced with a smile that she had things to smile about.
Their lives had been prolonged with artifical intelligence, since all sustenance had been destroyed in Sangria and most of the Seven Worlds. Mark was noiselessly pacing about the house, with a furrowed brow and only when Allegra returned, he broke into a smile. "Allegra! Allegra, my love!" She smoothed his face till it was shining brightly with unshed tears, and she, on the verge of tears itself, just invoked his name, such a dear syllable to her own heart, again and again. He would never have the intelligence to live independently on his own nor the mind to fathom medical disorders as he once did. The artifical intelligence destroyed him and he only remembered her - Allegra, and that he loved her. And that was all.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
The people we meet on earth
Boxing Day... Time to open presents!
Go read the 5 people you meet in heaven by mitch alborn. It's really
excellent. Excellent plot, storyline and idea. Just wished it could be longer...
I haven't opened all of my presents yet...
It's always a special time of the year for me, enjoyed myself with the members yesterday playing sily games and just chilling out at Marina Pier after service. It's nice that we can gather together like this... I've never been one for big gatherings but of course, I would choose to gather with a nice bunch of folks than with just my boyfriend alone at home. It's through remembering people at this time of the year that we build ourselves. Sometimes, we may be harboring sad thoughts, maybe things in relationships or career might not be going well, but it's always a time to stop and take stock of the blessings you've received from friends this year.
For those who have been treated badly by loved ones, really feel the tinge of pain this season. Somehow I had a feeling of pain - still there, though it's been some time now. I guess it's the pain of not confiding to anyone my past woes - or rather, scared to confide, in a way fearing no one could understand the torment I was in. And sitting next to friends who have their own deep hurts, I wanted so badly to perhaps, share a little of my story. It's a long story, but all I can say is that once, some time ago, almost forgotten but hearing his name still draws up sharp pangs of what could be termed as a painful love. This emotion changed me, I am almost wary and guarded upon strangers I would have once embraced as my own.
I guess I have written about it, previously and more than I could bear.
Having stopped correspondence with him intentionally, I sometimes wonder how he is...yet, not really wanting to know. We shared deep moments, a familiar recognition of the soul-deep feelings both knew, that was there, a care for one another that could barely be expressed as friendship. Yet, knowing him brought out such character in me, which I never realised was in myself, that I cannot say knowing him has been a bane in my life.
That is why I have so many mixed emotions towards that time in my life that I find it more joyful to altogether forget about it completely.
Many have said that they find my writings here, inspiring...although I react to that comment with pleasant surprise. For I never meant intentionally to inspire anyone with the doings and feelings about my life, only that it was meant to be a recollection of thoughts, as true as I possibly can remember it. But I do hope that instead of feeling sadder than they once were, people can read, and take with them a strange comradeship that I too, feel this way once.
Though I do not have the guts to spill out my feelings to anyone, this platform is a place where I can voice out my thoughts into writing. I may seem insulting, even mocking at times about people's love affairs, I do care. I guess I really don'r bother to say it out, since I know that at this time, my words will probably be disregarded, as I have experienced time and again. But it does not give me any joy to see what I have predicted come to pass. I guess I am blessed - or cursed - with a sort of 'second sight', predicting the outcome of certain relationships, how they will work out, and what will happen. Often I am right in this ability to predict things happening based on human nature, and sadly so. Perhaps it's this ability that makes me shy away from certain people, knowing that inevitably this kind of relationships bring nothing but pain. I too, wonder sometimes why people love each other the way they do. I suspect it's because the other, is somewhat a reflection of themselves.
That in loving them, we bring out the best, and sometimes the worst in ourselves.
Go read the 5 people you meet in heaven by mitch alborn. It's really
excellent. Excellent plot, storyline and idea. Just wished it could be longer...
I haven't opened all of my presents yet...
It's always a special time of the year for me, enjoyed myself with the members yesterday playing sily games and just chilling out at Marina Pier after service. It's nice that we can gather together like this... I've never been one for big gatherings but of course, I would choose to gather with a nice bunch of folks than with just my boyfriend alone at home. It's through remembering people at this time of the year that we build ourselves. Sometimes, we may be harboring sad thoughts, maybe things in relationships or career might not be going well, but it's always a time to stop and take stock of the blessings you've received from friends this year.
For those who have been treated badly by loved ones, really feel the tinge of pain this season. Somehow I had a feeling of pain - still there, though it's been some time now. I guess it's the pain of not confiding to anyone my past woes - or rather, scared to confide, in a way fearing no one could understand the torment I was in. And sitting next to friends who have their own deep hurts, I wanted so badly to perhaps, share a little of my story. It's a long story, but all I can say is that once, some time ago, almost forgotten but hearing his name still draws up sharp pangs of what could be termed as a painful love. This emotion changed me, I am almost wary and guarded upon strangers I would have once embraced as my own.
I guess I have written about it, previously and more than I could bear.
Having stopped correspondence with him intentionally, I sometimes wonder how he is...yet, not really wanting to know. We shared deep moments, a familiar recognition of the soul-deep feelings both knew, that was there, a care for one another that could barely be expressed as friendship. Yet, knowing him brought out such character in me, which I never realised was in myself, that I cannot say knowing him has been a bane in my life.
That is why I have so many mixed emotions towards that time in my life that I find it more joyful to altogether forget about it completely.
Many have said that they find my writings here, inspiring...although I react to that comment with pleasant surprise. For I never meant intentionally to inspire anyone with the doings and feelings about my life, only that it was meant to be a recollection of thoughts, as true as I possibly can remember it. But I do hope that instead of feeling sadder than they once were, people can read, and take with them a strange comradeship that I too, feel this way once.
Though I do not have the guts to spill out my feelings to anyone, this platform is a place where I can voice out my thoughts into writing. I may seem insulting, even mocking at times about people's love affairs, I do care. I guess I really don'r bother to say it out, since I know that at this time, my words will probably be disregarded, as I have experienced time and again. But it does not give me any joy to see what I have predicted come to pass. I guess I am blessed - or cursed - with a sort of 'second sight', predicting the outcome of certain relationships, how they will work out, and what will happen. Often I am right in this ability to predict things happening based on human nature, and sadly so. Perhaps it's this ability that makes me shy away from certain people, knowing that inevitably this kind of relationships bring nothing but pain. I too, wonder sometimes why people love each other the way they do. I suspect it's because the other, is somewhat a reflection of themselves.
That in loving them, we bring out the best, and sometimes the worst in ourselves.
Monday, December 18, 2006
I bought a house!
Feeling really pleased with myself.
Started giving and receiving gifts already, so excited! I usually open my gifts on the morning of 25th December (usually go to Mass on the 24th) and this year is no exception, though the thought of opening them earlier is very very tempting.
For our rather wet-dry run for the party we pleasantly found a garage sale hosted by some japanese families. On retrospect I thought I should have bought more, but unsuspectingly I found myself an owner of a rather big sylvanian family house - only sold in Japan as I have not seen it in local shops. It was only $10 so I took it as these houses retail for about ten times that price. Oh and the japanese version is so much nicer than the made in UK ones.
Well, thinking I had only bought the house with furniture of 2 stoves and table and chairs, I was pleasantly surprised to find additions of a Mother Bear, two adult Bunnies, small baby bunnies and a couple of kittens! Plus two school desks. With miniature pencilboxes and mini pencils inside. Even the notebook has real paper. House looks something like the picture but different style. So I'm really happy that my small christmas present to myself has turned out to be something so valuable to me. Have displayed the critters on a shelf where I can look at it everyday before I go to sleep.
And I want a Cottontail Bunny (beige) for sure. They're always sold out (the size that I want) so... it would be really nice if I had one.
=)
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
The Fraud Case, continued.
The irascible agent called me. 4 times on Monday, but I was overseas and gleefully advised him to call me the next day.
Well yesterday he did, and horrors! He asked me to 'do him a favor', change my statement to "I accidentally forgot I signed the form" (which is so obviously not signed) and talked to me for about half an hour in an upbeat voice, trying to make it seem like it was all in a day's work.
He told me that he had to hit this Persistency Award thing - more bonus $ perhaps, and said that actually I was being insured for free while he paid and could I bear with it till Jan or Feb?
I said, no, I don't want this thing, even if its being insured for free. He was pretty convincing (Can win the Golden Horse award for best performance) and almost too sincere that I was slightly taken aback. He cajoled me to help him, using emotional hot buttons like, he has a family to feed, he needs this income.
Actually he did not know that it was the Head office that called me for the investigation, thinking that I had written in to complain. He was taken aback when I sternly said that it was a Senior Exec who called me in. I added fuel to the fire by saying "They have been investigating you long ago." And I asked casually how many others did he do the same thing, forge the signature, thus cheating the company by getting more bonus out of it. He replied tersely, "Haha. That's for me to know." (Surely, this kind of statement means that its many people...)
The point that made my blood boil was when he said, "Remember I told you before, you can depend on me? Now I need your help. Remember, I once helped you too when you were in financial difficulties." Wow! Like when? The only time I had 'financial difficulties' was when I didn't/couldn't pay for the policy and let it lapse... which I wanted to anyway. I did pay him the lapsed amount after a few months for nothing. So it should be that he owes me, not the other way around. The way he tried to use these emotional words on me was too much, but trying not to antagonize him (He knows where I live and work and all sort of other details), in the end I said, I'd think about it... (Helping him to lie and keep his income.)
I have no intention to do so, and I think if the company found out that he has been asking me to falsify my statement, he would be in deeper trouble. I shook my head at his stupidity!
So, I have until the end of the week to think of something to say to him that sounds, un-antagonizing because I don't want him to go crazy and blame me for his woes and creep up my doorstep one day! Actually I have no complains in this matter because I'm being insured for free (although without my knowledge and against my free will) but he is cheating the company, not me. I doubt that even if I help him, the charges will be waived. And if I help him, isn't it like being an accomplice for embezzlement, without any returns?
Well yesterday he did, and horrors! He asked me to 'do him a favor', change my statement to "I accidentally forgot I signed the form" (which is so obviously not signed) and talked to me for about half an hour in an upbeat voice, trying to make it seem like it was all in a day's work.
He told me that he had to hit this Persistency Award thing - more bonus $ perhaps, and said that actually I was being insured for free while he paid and could I bear with it till Jan or Feb?
I said, no, I don't want this thing, even if its being insured for free. He was pretty convincing (Can win the Golden Horse award for best performance) and almost too sincere that I was slightly taken aback. He cajoled me to help him, using emotional hot buttons like, he has a family to feed, he needs this income.
Actually he did not know that it was the Head office that called me for the investigation, thinking that I had written in to complain. He was taken aback when I sternly said that it was a Senior Exec who called me in. I added fuel to the fire by saying "They have been investigating you long ago." And I asked casually how many others did he do the same thing, forge the signature, thus cheating the company by getting more bonus out of it. He replied tersely, "Haha. That's for me to know." (Surely, this kind of statement means that its many people...)
The point that made my blood boil was when he said, "Remember I told you before, you can depend on me? Now I need your help. Remember, I once helped you too when you were in financial difficulties." Wow! Like when? The only time I had 'financial difficulties' was when I didn't/couldn't pay for the policy and let it lapse... which I wanted to anyway. I did pay him the lapsed amount after a few months for nothing. So it should be that he owes me, not the other way around. The way he tried to use these emotional words on me was too much, but trying not to antagonize him (He knows where I live and work and all sort of other details), in the end I said, I'd think about it... (Helping him to lie and keep his income.)
I have no intention to do so, and I think if the company found out that he has been asking me to falsify my statement, he would be in deeper trouble. I shook my head at his stupidity!
So, I have until the end of the week to think of something to say to him that sounds, un-antagonizing because I don't want him to go crazy and blame me for his woes and creep up my doorstep one day! Actually I have no complains in this matter because I'm being insured for free (although without my knowledge and against my free will) but he is cheating the company, not me. I doubt that even if I help him, the charges will be waived. And if I help him, isn't it like being an accomplice for embezzlement, without any returns?
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Do it for God if you believe in Him.
If your heart is for God, everywhere you go, you will find Him. Everything you do and say is for Him. If you focusing on God and you believe in Him, wonderful things will happen.
Christmas party plans are underway and all of us are so excited after the trial run yesterday at the Newton condo. We found nice spots to 'travel' in and bring our friends too. Just really tying up some loose ends now. We make a great team! It's heartwarming to see almost everyone chipping in and doing their bit and more...Giving stuff, making and ordering food, inviting friends, etc. What's the spirit of Christmas if these are not done? =)
After the Angel sharing at cell, realised many interesting happenings in our Core. Members were blessed by strangers - one member got a Cold Storage discount (unheard of!) just because she paid in cash, and many other strange stranger blessings to.
Well... I got the chance to be an Angel.
Went one day to have lunch with Col and somehow he, last-minutely, could not meet me. Since I loved the Thai food there and already set off, I just decided to eat on my own. As I was approaching the overhead bridge, an uncle standing at the foot spoke to me in Chinese, something like, if it's safe to cross. I wanted to just pretend I didn't really understand and walked away, but somehow I just stuck my head out. Zoom! came the cars, and although there were people jay-running, I told him, better not cross here. Too dangerous. He hesitated for a long time and told me he had to get to the other side to take a bus to Thomson Medical Centre. It was only then I looked back at him and realised he only had one leg. The other, was a fake one, so barbie doll beige that it looked scarier than if he had none.
Then in my halting Chinese, I told him to take a cab and pulled out $xx bucks from my purse. He, in the Chinese way, flatly refused my money, saying that I was an office staff, I needed to eat, blah blah. Then I told him I didn't need this money, but the way I put it in Chinese (Wo bu xu yao qian), sounded as if I was filthy rich, haha. Then his eyes brightened and took it. To cut the long story short, he told me how he got into this situation and he lives alone, and asked me which Deity do I honor. I shook my head and said, no, I go to church.
He then brightened up again and said that he used to go to this church in Redhill but not anymore as it was too far. Wrote him the Chinese service in my church, plus my name and to look for a certain Uncle there... he mentioned that he would come by after Christmas. Wee! I hope he does, sincerely!
Another little testimony, God immediately answered a few of my small prayers, showing that He cares. Sick and coughing my head off and couldn't sleep one sleepless night. Hoped for a better day, plus I'm quite traumatised about coughing like that as I had childhood asthma. I prayed that the cough would stop and laid hands, cursed the sickness, etc.
And I was shocked. The cough - the long, hacking, painful cough that had plagued me the whole night... simply disappeared just like that. My throat was still feeling really painful and itchy like I wanted to cough, but each time I opened my mouth nothing came out. Still can't believe it.
I slept a peaceful sleep that night, but not before I thanked God in a silent prayer.
Christmas party plans are underway and all of us are so excited after the trial run yesterday at the Newton condo. We found nice spots to 'travel' in and bring our friends too. Just really tying up some loose ends now. We make a great team! It's heartwarming to see almost everyone chipping in and doing their bit and more...Giving stuff, making and ordering food, inviting friends, etc. What's the spirit of Christmas if these are not done? =)
After the Angel sharing at cell, realised many interesting happenings in our Core. Members were blessed by strangers - one member got a Cold Storage discount (unheard of!) just because she paid in cash, and many other strange stranger blessings to.
Well... I got the chance to be an Angel.
Went one day to have lunch with Col and somehow he, last-minutely, could not meet me. Since I loved the Thai food there and already set off, I just decided to eat on my own. As I was approaching the overhead bridge, an uncle standing at the foot spoke to me in Chinese, something like, if it's safe to cross. I wanted to just pretend I didn't really understand and walked away, but somehow I just stuck my head out. Zoom! came the cars, and although there were people jay-running, I told him, better not cross here. Too dangerous. He hesitated for a long time and told me he had to get to the other side to take a bus to Thomson Medical Centre. It was only then I looked back at him and realised he only had one leg. The other, was a fake one, so barbie doll beige that it looked scarier than if he had none.
Then in my halting Chinese, I told him to take a cab and pulled out $xx bucks from my purse. He, in the Chinese way, flatly refused my money, saying that I was an office staff, I needed to eat, blah blah. Then I told him I didn't need this money, but the way I put it in Chinese (Wo bu xu yao qian), sounded as if I was filthy rich, haha. Then his eyes brightened and took it. To cut the long story short, he told me how he got into this situation and he lives alone, and asked me which Deity do I honor. I shook my head and said, no, I go to church.
He then brightened up again and said that he used to go to this church in Redhill but not anymore as it was too far. Wrote him the Chinese service in my church, plus my name and to look for a certain Uncle there... he mentioned that he would come by after Christmas. Wee! I hope he does, sincerely!
Another little testimony, God immediately answered a few of my small prayers, showing that He cares. Sick and coughing my head off and couldn't sleep one sleepless night. Hoped for a better day, plus I'm quite traumatised about coughing like that as I had childhood asthma. I prayed that the cough would stop and laid hands, cursed the sickness, etc.
And I was shocked. The cough - the long, hacking, painful cough that had plagued me the whole night... simply disappeared just like that. My throat was still feeling really painful and itchy like I wanted to cough, but each time I opened my mouth nothing came out. Still can't believe it.
I slept a peaceful sleep that night, but not before I thanked God in a silent prayer.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Mismatched
When you really love someone...
Reading "The two sides of love" (Smalley/Trent) bought from the campus crusade sale. Was looking for a book about relationships to fire up for the new year!
Went there with Jean and Kie...Initially picked up a book "Before you live together" thinking it was about, preparing for marriage...but it turned out to be for people who were considering cohabiting. Heh.
I've been attached for most of my teenage life, so somehow I think can safely spot 'unhealthy' our 'out-of-balance' relationships... I've been in them myself. Actually, I'm someone who is fiecely independent, though I do need a man's hand to guide me through and give me some comfort when I've taken ill, like in the last two days. It's cheery to know someone is hoping you'll recover soon (so that you can go JB with him) ...makes you feel better faster.
But it's when the relationship you're in becomes off-kilter to almost everyone, then it's time to take a good look at yourself, and each other. Some relationships turn this way, very fast. I remember one of my christian leaders telling me (about this ex-boyfriend when we were still together). He cautioned that, the ex-boyfriend puts me on a pedestal. True enough, I did feel like I was some sort of goddess. But what excellent treatment he gave! Paid for the two of us through everything, bought me little gifts, never hesitated to treat me super-good. Of course, also his upbringing had to play a part as Indonesians were known for their chivalry...and also their possessiveness.
It got a little strangulating when we had to talk for at least an hour every night (And I was a busy busy student) and had to perpetually sms him my wherabouts hourly. Not forgetting the nightmare when he got angry when I wanted to catch up with MrBestFriend, wanting to throw our ring into the Sentosa river, and when I was out with MsBestFriend he called me more than 60 times (I just refused to pick up.) As time passed it gradually became an unhealthy relationship even though we were suited for each other. I don't blame him now, perhaps it was his first, and perhaps he loved me so much it became this way.
Residue of the past still remain, though. I only remember the good parts so when my poor tired darling does not live up to treating me like a goddess, there are whispers in my head saying, X used to treat me better. He always ..... .... not like this one. Plus ongoing concerns from other parties make me a bit confident of my self-worth.
Of course I am trying to erase this.
Was really shocked when my posse and I realized that a loser guy in our acquaintance was now attached, after harboring some emotions for a girl in our posse. We secretly wondered what did the girl see in him! Well, he is someone who is very complicated, to say the least. All of us cannot believe the stories he told different ones of us about his seemingly mentally unstable parents and his long foray into distant lands. I believed he was somewhat of a crackpot when he told the girl in my posse that he had to go to the beach to meditate and let God speak to him about their relationship! Of course, probably he listened to his flesh more than anything else. Recently, he penned love sonnets for his new catch. I just wonder if we had the chance to tell her what transpired, would she still think the world of him? Or blinded by true love, choose to be at her side till death doth them part. All I can say to him is Thee mind is warped.
There is a lack of gatekeepers in this area, and all too often we blame our folly on others. If we were hurt, we blame the leader from not warning us. We blame pastors for not preaching about such, or friends for not telling us from the start what a menacing creature he was. Sometimes, no one can talk you into (or out of) anything. Sometimes the warnings and cautions were there but we fail to take it seriously. I would not be glad to say 'I told you so', rather, before the thing even has a chance to start, why let it happen? I think I'd be glad to honestly say stuff if the other party is teachable, I will voice my opinion. Some in my posse are already telling me stuff I cannot even believe took place. Sharing a spoon? Constantly playing and rubbing? Sitting on each other at bus stops?
Thankfully I was not there to witness the spectacle. My members are concerned, too. That a sincere member might be lost. So many have said, she has changed. Even worse, stumbling a younger member by what they are doing. Or even causing duress to the public by their actions. If this is true love, then I don't think you should invite everyone to witness your intimacy.
They ask me why I refuse to even give a word of caution. I replied that, hey, if the person is not teachable, what is the point of saying it... (everyone else is talking about it anyways)
But if she remembers clearly, before they were attached, I had told her exactly what I had thought.
So my friend, please consider carefully your ways. You are not doing it for me, it's for everyone else and dare I mention God, too.
Reading "The two sides of love" (Smalley/Trent) bought from the campus crusade sale. Was looking for a book about relationships to fire up for the new year!
Went there with Jean and Kie...Initially picked up a book "Before you live together" thinking it was about, preparing for marriage...but it turned out to be for people who were considering cohabiting. Heh.
I've been attached for most of my teenage life, so somehow I think can safely spot 'unhealthy' our 'out-of-balance' relationships... I've been in them myself. Actually, I'm someone who is fiecely independent, though I do need a man's hand to guide me through and give me some comfort when I've taken ill, like in the last two days. It's cheery to know someone is hoping you'll recover soon (so that you can go JB with him) ...makes you feel better faster.
But it's when the relationship you're in becomes off-kilter to almost everyone, then it's time to take a good look at yourself, and each other. Some relationships turn this way, very fast. I remember one of my christian leaders telling me (about this ex-boyfriend when we were still together). He cautioned that, the ex-boyfriend puts me on a pedestal. True enough, I did feel like I was some sort of goddess. But what excellent treatment he gave! Paid for the two of us through everything, bought me little gifts, never hesitated to treat me super-good. Of course, also his upbringing had to play a part as Indonesians were known for their chivalry...and also their possessiveness.
It got a little strangulating when we had to talk for at least an hour every night (And I was a busy busy student) and had to perpetually sms him my wherabouts hourly. Not forgetting the nightmare when he got angry when I wanted to catch up with MrBestFriend, wanting to throw our ring into the Sentosa river, and when I was out with MsBestFriend he called me more than 60 times (I just refused to pick up.) As time passed it gradually became an unhealthy relationship even though we were suited for each other. I don't blame him now, perhaps it was his first, and perhaps he loved me so much it became this way.
Residue of the past still remain, though. I only remember the good parts so when my poor tired darling does not live up to treating me like a goddess, there are whispers in my head saying, X used to treat me better. He always ..... .... not like this one. Plus ongoing concerns from other parties make me a bit confident of my self-worth.
Of course I am trying to erase this.
Was really shocked when my posse and I realized that a loser guy in our acquaintance was now attached, after harboring some emotions for a girl in our posse. We secretly wondered what did the girl see in him! Well, he is someone who is very complicated, to say the least. All of us cannot believe the stories he told different ones of us about his seemingly mentally unstable parents and his long foray into distant lands. I believed he was somewhat of a crackpot when he told the girl in my posse that he had to go to the beach to meditate and let God speak to him about their relationship! Of course, probably he listened to his flesh more than anything else. Recently, he penned love sonnets for his new catch. I just wonder if we had the chance to tell her what transpired, would she still think the world of him? Or blinded by true love, choose to be at her side till death doth them part. All I can say to him is Thee mind is warped.
There is a lack of gatekeepers in this area, and all too often we blame our folly on others. If we were hurt, we blame the leader from not warning us. We blame pastors for not preaching about such, or friends for not telling us from the start what a menacing creature he was. Sometimes, no one can talk you into (or out of) anything. Sometimes the warnings and cautions were there but we fail to take it seriously. I would not be glad to say 'I told you so', rather, before the thing even has a chance to start, why let it happen? I think I'd be glad to honestly say stuff if the other party is teachable, I will voice my opinion. Some in my posse are already telling me stuff I cannot even believe took place. Sharing a spoon? Constantly playing and rubbing? Sitting on each other at bus stops?
Thankfully I was not there to witness the spectacle. My members are concerned, too. That a sincere member might be lost. So many have said, she has changed. Even worse, stumbling a younger member by what they are doing. Or even causing duress to the public by their actions. If this is true love, then I don't think you should invite everyone to witness your intimacy.
They ask me why I refuse to even give a word of caution. I replied that, hey, if the person is not teachable, what is the point of saying it... (everyone else is talking about it anyways)
But if she remembers clearly, before they were attached, I had told her exactly what I had thought.
So my friend, please consider carefully your ways. You are not doing it for me, it's for everyone else and dare I mention God, too.
Friday, December 01, 2006
The Fraud Case.
I forgot to let the Holy Spirit do His work.
Read "The Cross and the SwitchBlade", reminded me of what I'm going to set out to do but somehow forgot along the way. Isn't it amazing how God can remind me of my purpose by simple things. Lately, the Holy Spirit has been ministering to me in so many ways I am softened by His love, actually.
Someone forged my signature.
Quite amazing because these are stories you only hear about from hearsay or watch on drama serials, but unfortunately (for the forger/fraudster) my signature was forged.
And not for a million dollars... Haha. Although I'm sure it will shock some of my friends if they knew I had a million dollars in my account. (don't have lah, for illustration purposes.)
I had signed up for an insurance policy from Prudential in '05... a cashback plan where yo can get money back every year, yet saving for your needs. End '05, I had it terminated because I was unsure if I could keep it up (Having just started in The Office) and I was also short on cash. I was told that I could stop it for a year and then restart it again, and initially agreed to it. However, later on I realised that if I stopped for a year, I could not have this chance to stop it again, I would have to keep paying for 20 years more. Not wanting to be caught in this situation, as who knows what might happen in the future, I decided then I would terminate it and informed the agent likewise.
A year later, last month, I received a GIRO receipt from the bank stating they have deducted a sum for Prudential. Thinking that perhaps they might have made a mistake, I then called the hotline to enquire.
What ensued was that somehow, I had signed some documents despite not even seeing my agent this past year. I had to go down to Prudential Towers to check it out, and was warned that it was a possible fraud case. I was shown some documents I've never seen before, and then asked to verify my signature. It was almost laughable. Whoever forged my signature, did so with a photocopier. It obviously looked photostated, exactly the same.
Well, I think one agent would suddenly have his banking account frozen and then hauled to a police enquiry. Although I did not wish to press charges (Since I had no loss anyways) they said, even a fraud of $10 is still a fraud. This guy's career as a financial advisor would probably be over from now on. I heard that he had recently reached the 'million dollar club' in the company, quite an achievement there. But one also wonders , how did he reach it?
All in all, it seems sad and wasted that just an act of folly could destroy all you have been building up for your life. Just because of two photocopied signatures, you singlehandedly destroyed all those long hours of sales talk. It's not in my hands now, but in the company's best interests to persecute him as an employee.
I wonder whether his upbringing could have contributed to such factors, but I guess it's up to himself to decide on such a course of action.
So, if anyone of us are in this situation, I urge all to think twice. Even doing such small things as stealing office supplies, I hope it will not lead to a greater mistake. It's better to have a good night's sleep knowing all your actions are aboveboard.
Read "The Cross and the SwitchBlade", reminded me of what I'm going to set out to do but somehow forgot along the way. Isn't it amazing how God can remind me of my purpose by simple things. Lately, the Holy Spirit has been ministering to me in so many ways I am softened by His love, actually.
Someone forged my signature.
Quite amazing because these are stories you only hear about from hearsay or watch on drama serials, but unfortunately (for the forger/fraudster) my signature was forged.
And not for a million dollars... Haha. Although I'm sure it will shock some of my friends if they knew I had a million dollars in my account. (don't have lah, for illustration purposes.)
I had signed up for an insurance policy from Prudential in '05... a cashback plan where yo can get money back every year, yet saving for your needs. End '05, I had it terminated because I was unsure if I could keep it up (Having just started in The Office) and I was also short on cash. I was told that I could stop it for a year and then restart it again, and initially agreed to it. However, later on I realised that if I stopped for a year, I could not have this chance to stop it again, I would have to keep paying for 20 years more. Not wanting to be caught in this situation, as who knows what might happen in the future, I decided then I would terminate it and informed the agent likewise.
A year later, last month, I received a GIRO receipt from the bank stating they have deducted a sum for Prudential. Thinking that perhaps they might have made a mistake, I then called the hotline to enquire.
What ensued was that somehow, I had signed some documents despite not even seeing my agent this past year. I had to go down to Prudential Towers to check it out, and was warned that it was a possible fraud case. I was shown some documents I've never seen before, and then asked to verify my signature. It was almost laughable. Whoever forged my signature, did so with a photocopier. It obviously looked photostated, exactly the same.
Well, I think one agent would suddenly have his banking account frozen and then hauled to a police enquiry. Although I did not wish to press charges (Since I had no loss anyways) they said, even a fraud of $10 is still a fraud. This guy's career as a financial advisor would probably be over from now on. I heard that he had recently reached the 'million dollar club' in the company, quite an achievement there. But one also wonders , how did he reach it?
All in all, it seems sad and wasted that just an act of folly could destroy all you have been building up for your life. Just because of two photocopied signatures, you singlehandedly destroyed all those long hours of sales talk. It's not in my hands now, but in the company's best interests to persecute him as an employee.
I wonder whether his upbringing could have contributed to such factors, but I guess it's up to himself to decide on such a course of action.
So, if anyone of us are in this situation, I urge all to think twice. Even doing such small things as stealing office supplies, I hope it will not lead to a greater mistake. It's better to have a good night's sleep knowing all your actions are aboveboard.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Starting early this year
On the topic of love,
Recently I had the pleasure of acquaintance with a lovely couple that seemed just about right for each other. J was a lovely girl, and M reminded me of Kie but none of the goofy-ness. He looked sleepy-eyed and talked slowly with witticisms sure to make you burst belly-laughing. They were close and easygoing in the way that comes with time. During the course of our conversation they both said that they believed in true love. But, after she had gone home and it was just the two of us, he said that, it's just that... she was not his true love.
It's easy to believe in true love when you haven't found it.
Oh yes baby, I'm starting early this year. What? Christmas shopping of course. Now everywhere I go I keep my eyes peeled for great, affordable, unique, beautiful gifts/giftwrap. Went to Expo book sale with Manager and Daiso and got almost 30% done, which I felt were good buys. So far spent about less than $150, including my posh handmade cards. Getting a headstart this year means that I'd be free to not-go shopping and feeling stressed about what to buy. The second round starts later this week on Fri. One more book sale at Expo plus a sports brand sale (Okay, it's Adidas) and... Loreal though I suspect I'd be buying more stuff for myself than anyone else. Still, managed to get nice titles last week, and just swooping off some others this week. I've already addressed and written my first batch of cards to pre-clients, so I'm left with clients, family and friends which, I think I will not be overstressed for time unless I plan to do something over-ambitious. Last year - every year it's always a rushed time for me, I hate squeezing with people at Orchard...
Last year I hand painted all my christmas cards... and made fudge for the first time.
It's going to be minimalist this year with really unhurried, beautiful wrapping for the books and gifts. Actually quite fun to hum around looking for that perfect ribbon and that nice wrapping paper and tissue slowly... I'm enjoying every bit of it.
It's quite sad when some people don't believe in love -in true love, and they say it like they mean it, jadedly, without strong emotion. For those who do, it's the little girl and boy in all of us that hopes for something better in life. Not just a 'power' marriage to better your life for money or biz, but a real, lasting marriage based on such a strong emotion that scientists cannot even define how it works and what triggers it. Many of us dream of a fairytale ending, and for those who do, I hope they find a happy ending where the rainbow ends. We still have what it takes!
Recently I had the pleasure of acquaintance with a lovely couple that seemed just about right for each other. J was a lovely girl, and M reminded me of Kie but none of the goofy-ness. He looked sleepy-eyed and talked slowly with witticisms sure to make you burst belly-laughing. They were close and easygoing in the way that comes with time. During the course of our conversation they both said that they believed in true love. But, after she had gone home and it was just the two of us, he said that, it's just that... she was not his true love.
It's easy to believe in true love when you haven't found it.
Oh yes baby, I'm starting early this year. What? Christmas shopping of course. Now everywhere I go I keep my eyes peeled for great, affordable, unique, beautiful gifts/giftwrap. Went to Expo book sale with Manager and Daiso and got almost 30% done, which I felt were good buys. So far spent about less than $150, including my posh handmade cards. Getting a headstart this year means that I'd be free to not-go shopping and feeling stressed about what to buy. The second round starts later this week on Fri. One more book sale at Expo plus a sports brand sale (Okay, it's Adidas) and... Loreal though I suspect I'd be buying more stuff for myself than anyone else. Still, managed to get nice titles last week, and just swooping off some others this week. I've already addressed and written my first batch of cards to pre-clients, so I'm left with clients, family and friends which, I think I will not be overstressed for time unless I plan to do something over-ambitious. Last year - every year it's always a rushed time for me, I hate squeezing with people at Orchard...
Last year I hand painted all my christmas cards... and made fudge for the first time.
It's going to be minimalist this year with really unhurried, beautiful wrapping for the books and gifts. Actually quite fun to hum around looking for that perfect ribbon and that nice wrapping paper and tissue slowly... I'm enjoying every bit of it.
It's quite sad when some people don't believe in love -in true love, and they say it like they mean it, jadedly, without strong emotion. For those who do, it's the little girl and boy in all of us that hopes for something better in life. Not just a 'power' marriage to better your life for money or biz, but a real, lasting marriage based on such a strong emotion that scientists cannot even define how it works and what triggers it. Many of us dream of a fairytale ending, and for those who do, I hope they find a happy ending where the rainbow ends. We still have what it takes!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
The Proven Way to Avoid a "Loveless" Life
I may not provide the answers, just a direction to the Way. keke.
I've been subscribing to many free e-newsletters marketing various products, mainly to read up on the way they word things and how I can better put my tutelage of MY mother tongue into good use. Oh, and I don't usually open my mails (cannot afford spending too much time emailing, busy worker meeee) unless they have really GOOD titles. This one, from a writer of a self-help romance novel, really caught my eye. It says "The Proven Way to Avoid a "Loveless" Life". Wow. Being the skeptic that I am, I really wonder if this proves to be... well, accurate. Over the years I've learnt to distinguish the good eggs from the bad ones, but almost all the time, those gooey eyed gals turn a deaf ear. I have guy friends by the busloads, so I do know my stuff. I've saved one from a near heartbreak by immediately typecasting (and rightly so), her amour-to-be as a jerk type. And not long after, he went off chasing another skirt, and is now attached. I said to her most recently, if he loves you and is sincere he will wait. Well... less than a month is probably a track record for some.
Then, there are those type of girls that are clueless around men. Not telling them flirting is ok, but, being and moving in a feminine way, sometimes coquettish, pandering to the guy's ego, etc... Those girls who have only sisters and never had a best male bud are clueless so often I take it upon myself to educate them. I've seen types that I call "GWLV" - Girls who (easily)lose (their) virginity. Honestly! take it upon yourself not to be near those desperate, lusting creatures... not even sms naughthily with them. It's really dumb, and I'm sure they are worth more than that, but these girls are so easy, even I could easily woo and win them. I can tell for sure which are the GWLV types. Usually desperate with a capital D, they are so thankful any man would want to date them, usually those no-good types with body odour or some other unspeakable factor that would not endear them to the female population at large. These girls practically fling their whole lives at the feet of such slobs and to tell the truth, I don't think much of them either. Is such a worthless guy worth it, I ask. They quickly become an item, and, as if I can predict bad outcomings, quickly tire of each other. It's the guy, who, after having such an ego-boost, usually dumps her because now, he is full of self-confidence and ready to take on the world. The girl gets the short end of the straw because she loses out, loses everything. Once again, I'm not wishing this to happen to anyone but it usually is the case with such types. Also gay relationships. Always see a not-bad-looking one with a goddamn ugly one... turns out the ugly one is like domineering over him. Eventually he becomes "one-kind" too, just that all his super-nice and diplomatic friends are too sweet and understanding to tell him so. Me, I'd just disappear and not wipe up the tears. After all, I've said my piece already.
So, some hard questions from spiritedly's harddrive that you gotta ask yourself. Both parties included.
1. Is he a psychopath?
Some people have no feelings, it's bad if your would be husband turns out that way. The percentage of people being so is increasing rapidly. To find out, observe him - does he have any friends at all? How does he talk about his loved ones, any emotion? Etc...
2. Is he on the rebound?
From personal experience, rebound can be 1 month to 3 years depending on the scary EX. Well, just take the timing with a pinch of salt but don't over obsess over it as most of us tend to do... Having just broke up doesn't mean he's not ready, he's just giving excuses (haha), vice versa as well!
3. Is he ready/Are you ready?
For guys, rule of thumb is I'm ready when she's ready. For girls, rule of thumb is... I'm never 100% ready. So there...
4. Is he suitable for you?
While I've seen unbelievably unsuitable couples together, generally, he must suit you somehow... Don't wanna be long winded on this man.
5. Is it the right timing for both?
One of my friends got attached like the month before he was about to leave for oversea studies. Of course he'll be back, but it's a tough road to take. Many of my oversea good catch guys would rather not the girl be in this position. So they would prefer not to fall in love. Of course you can't control love. But if things get hot and heavy after the 2nd date, you need to keep things in perspective.
6. Does both share same values and beliefs in life?
This is the most important! I believe so... it's the fundamental of any relationship, even friendships. Deep ones.
Thanks~~
I've been subscribing to many free e-newsletters marketing various products, mainly to read up on the way they word things and how I can better put my tutelage of MY mother tongue into good use. Oh, and I don't usually open my mails (cannot afford spending too much time emailing, busy worker meeee) unless they have really GOOD titles. This one, from a writer of a self-help romance novel, really caught my eye. It says "The Proven Way to Avoid a "Loveless" Life". Wow. Being the skeptic that I am, I really wonder if this proves to be... well, accurate. Over the years I've learnt to distinguish the good eggs from the bad ones, but almost all the time, those gooey eyed gals turn a deaf ear. I have guy friends by the busloads, so I do know my stuff. I've saved one from a near heartbreak by immediately typecasting (and rightly so), her amour-to-be as a jerk type. And not long after, he went off chasing another skirt, and is now attached. I said to her most recently, if he loves you and is sincere he will wait. Well... less than a month is probably a track record for some.
Then, there are those type of girls that are clueless around men. Not telling them flirting is ok, but, being and moving in a feminine way, sometimes coquettish, pandering to the guy's ego, etc... Those girls who have only sisters and never had a best male bud are clueless so often I take it upon myself to educate them. I've seen types that I call "GWLV" - Girls who (easily)lose (their) virginity. Honestly! take it upon yourself not to be near those desperate, lusting creatures... not even sms naughthily with them. It's really dumb, and I'm sure they are worth more than that, but these girls are so easy, even I could easily woo and win them. I can tell for sure which are the GWLV types. Usually desperate with a capital D, they are so thankful any man would want to date them, usually those no-good types with body odour or some other unspeakable factor that would not endear them to the female population at large. These girls practically fling their whole lives at the feet of such slobs and to tell the truth, I don't think much of them either. Is such a worthless guy worth it, I ask. They quickly become an item, and, as if I can predict bad outcomings, quickly tire of each other. It's the guy, who, after having such an ego-boost, usually dumps her because now, he is full of self-confidence and ready to take on the world. The girl gets the short end of the straw because she loses out, loses everything. Once again, I'm not wishing this to happen to anyone but it usually is the case with such types. Also gay relationships. Always see a not-bad-looking one with a goddamn ugly one... turns out the ugly one is like domineering over him. Eventually he becomes "one-kind" too, just that all his super-nice and diplomatic friends are too sweet and understanding to tell him so. Me, I'd just disappear and not wipe up the tears. After all, I've said my piece already.
So, some hard questions from spiritedly's harddrive that you gotta ask yourself. Both parties included.
1. Is he a psychopath?
Some people have no feelings, it's bad if your would be husband turns out that way. The percentage of people being so is increasing rapidly. To find out, observe him - does he have any friends at all? How does he talk about his loved ones, any emotion? Etc...
2. Is he on the rebound?
From personal experience, rebound can be 1 month to 3 years depending on the scary EX. Well, just take the timing with a pinch of salt but don't over obsess over it as most of us tend to do... Having just broke up doesn't mean he's not ready, he's just giving excuses (haha), vice versa as well!
3. Is he ready/Are you ready?
For guys, rule of thumb is I'm ready when she's ready. For girls, rule of thumb is... I'm never 100% ready. So there...
4. Is he suitable for you?
While I've seen unbelievably unsuitable couples together, generally, he must suit you somehow... Don't wanna be long winded on this man.
5. Is it the right timing for both?
One of my friends got attached like the month before he was about to leave for oversea studies. Of course he'll be back, but it's a tough road to take. Many of my oversea good catch guys would rather not the girl be in this position. So they would prefer not to fall in love. Of course you can't control love. But if things get hot and heavy after the 2nd date, you need to keep things in perspective.
6. Does both share same values and beliefs in life?
This is the most important! I believe so... it's the fundamental of any relationship, even friendships. Deep ones.
Thanks~~
Monday, November 13, 2006
Tenacity -not so easy to find nowadays
A general satire about recent things I've been impressed by.
I've been told I'm someone who can read into the future.
Well, maybe not in the psychic sense; but I do believe I am a visionary.
Sometimes I already know how some people's future will turn out. Others, I'm not so sure. There are some people in my life who are destined to a lifetime of labour. I think of them like horses, or cows... just slogging up and down from day to day, tired out, and probably die that way. There's nothing wrong with that, I suppose they are just made like that. Others' future seems not so certain - in other words, they can either make it or break it... depending on what they choose right now to do. I'm amazed by some of my office colleagues - 'loser guys'. Not being mean here but when your income is based on sales, and you spend the whole day - the whole week surfing the net - what does that make you? Honestly, their behaviour gives me entertainment in the office. It's almost as though you can read their mind. One even commented that they should go to a particular church in Expo to network and find prospects!!
And go to the motorshow to talk to people... harebrained schemes. Honestly, I can't see their future in The Company right now.
As Singaporeans sometimes we don't dare to speak up. And those who do, are quickly annihilated. For me, I don't usually have a strong stand on things though I do get irritated easily. When I see things going bad I guess I just take a far off observer's point of view rather than to go and mingle and get my hands dirty. Different strokes for different folks. Sometimes when we do things out of goodwill it is often miscontrued. So, to save the heartbreak and to focus on those who are really teachable I shall just let some things run its course.
I've been inpsired this past week by certain extraordinary people who inspire with their lives. One, a guy my Rich Dad knows. He has been working for a certain airline as an engineer for 20 years and recently retired. The flabbergasting thing is that he is actually colorblind. Severely colorblind...He sees the leaves on the tree as though Singapore is autumn all year round.
So when they had a pass-out examination, he was required to just sort out a bunch of wires. He honestly said, he can't do it. He could only do it if he was told beforehand which color belonged to which... I think this is tenacity in the face of 'disability'. Which makes me scorn the loser guys I see daily, because they are young and incapable.
Another one is my church friend, a lady who works in a voluntary government organization. Not many would choose to work in places like this because of the really meagre pay. Her story is shown on the Yellow Ribbon's True Life Story this week. Carol is about 2 years older than me and long time ago I remember we prayed for each other. She mentioned to me that she was an orphan and I was rather shocked by that, because I don't know any orphans, not in Singapore anyways. Well... her story is aired this week and I heard her speak in the blurb, that her Dad left the family when she was one-year old, and her mother committed suicide when she was 7. Maybe you feel pity for her. She could be someone who just depends on the Government to feed her for the rest of her life, but she has been a youth leader in church for many years now, and her maturity beyond years just speak of the way she also handled difficulties with tenacity. It's already not easy growing up with a family, I cannot imagine being all alone.
Tenacity... I find this really hard to find nowadays.
I've been told I'm someone who can read into the future.
Well, maybe not in the psychic sense; but I do believe I am a visionary.
Sometimes I already know how some people's future will turn out. Others, I'm not so sure. There are some people in my life who are destined to a lifetime of labour. I think of them like horses, or cows... just slogging up and down from day to day, tired out, and probably die that way. There's nothing wrong with that, I suppose they are just made like that. Others' future seems not so certain - in other words, they can either make it or break it... depending on what they choose right now to do. I'm amazed by some of my office colleagues - 'loser guys'. Not being mean here but when your income is based on sales, and you spend the whole day - the whole week surfing the net - what does that make you? Honestly, their behaviour gives me entertainment in the office. It's almost as though you can read their mind. One even commented that they should go to a particular church in Expo to network and find prospects!!
And go to the motorshow to talk to people... harebrained schemes. Honestly, I can't see their future in The Company right now.
As Singaporeans sometimes we don't dare to speak up. And those who do, are quickly annihilated. For me, I don't usually have a strong stand on things though I do get irritated easily. When I see things going bad I guess I just take a far off observer's point of view rather than to go and mingle and get my hands dirty. Different strokes for different folks. Sometimes when we do things out of goodwill it is often miscontrued. So, to save the heartbreak and to focus on those who are really teachable I shall just let some things run its course.
I've been inpsired this past week by certain extraordinary people who inspire with their lives. One, a guy my Rich Dad knows. He has been working for a certain airline as an engineer for 20 years and recently retired. The flabbergasting thing is that he is actually colorblind. Severely colorblind...He sees the leaves on the tree as though Singapore is autumn all year round.
So when they had a pass-out examination, he was required to just sort out a bunch of wires. He honestly said, he can't do it. He could only do it if he was told beforehand which color belonged to which... I think this is tenacity in the face of 'disability'. Which makes me scorn the loser guys I see daily, because they are young and incapable.
Another one is my church friend, a lady who works in a voluntary government organization. Not many would choose to work in places like this because of the really meagre pay. Her story is shown on the Yellow Ribbon's True Life Story this week. Carol is about 2 years older than me and long time ago I remember we prayed for each other. She mentioned to me that she was an orphan and I was rather shocked by that, because I don't know any orphans, not in Singapore anyways. Well... her story is aired this week and I heard her speak in the blurb, that her Dad left the family when she was one-year old, and her mother committed suicide when she was 7. Maybe you feel pity for her. She could be someone who just depends on the Government to feed her for the rest of her life, but she has been a youth leader in church for many years now, and her maturity beyond years just speak of the way she also handled difficulties with tenacity. It's already not easy growing up with a family, I cannot imagine being all alone.
Tenacity... I find this really hard to find nowadays.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
What's next
There are so many things to worry about yet there are so many to be happy about. I'm funny that way. Maybe I think in advance for the future, perhaps a little resentful that it's not to be in our control and things may slide either way. I am hopeful that life is taking a turn for the better, yet strangely there are always setbacks. Small little notes of doubt that may cause unexplained worry.
It's fun to meet others who are also living the carefree life, people with time for tea and no hurry in between, able to leave their work duties almost anytime. I've been meeting people like that and I think one character trait that is evident in them all shows: that they care for people. A people person usually don't meet up for tea with ulterior motives, or to constantly talk about their latest product. Instead, we meet to learn from each other, to motivate each other, to get some tips - "What is a good brand for skincare? Where is a good place to buy a house?" Stuff like that. Tea time for me is a time to slow down and take charge of the biz I'm doing, the events happening, to plan, to chill and to get to know and learn from others. I'm a big fan of Caltex House, having met most people at the Kaya Toast place or other tea places. With avocado juice in hand, watching the busy executives rush their way by to various appointments. I'm a sucker for treating people with respect. I always do surveys even though I know it's probably some stuff I won't be interested in. But it's through these that you get to meet really nice people too. And I do learn from them lots. It's been said that if you want to do sales you can make a living, but if you provide good service, you'll last a lifetime. I will give that WOW factor to my clients even though it means spending that extra time.
Being very task oriented at work, normally when I come in I just plonk down my stuff and do my self-assigned tasks of the day, not really caring about who and what. I do scorn the ones who just surf the net the entire day, and reading up on topics about sales and whatnot. Honestly, I've been observing some guys in my area who just comes everyday and never making a single call. I'm not one to judge but I do wonder how they get by. And lately they have been getting on my nerves by the noise they make and the disturbances they cause. I remember when I was speaking on the phone to a prospect they were oohing and aahing over a new project launch over my head. I could probably box them there and then but I gave a killer glare and told them to be quiet. It was peaceful for the next hour or so, and then they continued again. I don't understand why they like to waste time doing nothing in the office when every little time is important to me... especially when it seems like each week passes by so fast! Also, I'm blessed beyond grace to have capable mentors who always lead me to greater heights. I realise that I've wasted time in the past and now I want to make the most out of it. Yet I do have the asset of time on my side. I'd never go into my own biz now because I know the odds of making it. Though I do hope to have a venture capitalist by my side and start a retail chain of sorts that works bigtime.
It's important at this juncture to maintain relationships and build new ones. We are shaped by the people we like to meet, and the people around us. I want to make sure of my early retirement in comfort. Honestly I'm pissed when people say, oh, I get good clients because of my good looks or it's so easy. Yeah, try it yourself. I've met so many people without even closing deals, but at least I can say for myself that I did put in effort, I did work hard. Even in relationships, our most important decision of choosing a life partner, it won't work out if we don't work hard at it. It seems nonsense to me to hear people saying that they are tired, they have tried... When all they do is nothing.
It's fun to meet others who are also living the carefree life, people with time for tea and no hurry in between, able to leave their work duties almost anytime. I've been meeting people like that and I think one character trait that is evident in them all shows: that they care for people. A people person usually don't meet up for tea with ulterior motives, or to constantly talk about their latest product. Instead, we meet to learn from each other, to motivate each other, to get some tips - "What is a good brand for skincare? Where is a good place to buy a house?" Stuff like that. Tea time for me is a time to slow down and take charge of the biz I'm doing, the events happening, to plan, to chill and to get to know and learn from others. I'm a big fan of Caltex House, having met most people at the Kaya Toast place or other tea places. With avocado juice in hand, watching the busy executives rush their way by to various appointments. I'm a sucker for treating people with respect. I always do surveys even though I know it's probably some stuff I won't be interested in. But it's through these that you get to meet really nice people too. And I do learn from them lots. It's been said that if you want to do sales you can make a living, but if you provide good service, you'll last a lifetime. I will give that WOW factor to my clients even though it means spending that extra time.
Being very task oriented at work, normally when I come in I just plonk down my stuff and do my self-assigned tasks of the day, not really caring about who and what. I do scorn the ones who just surf the net the entire day, and reading up on topics about sales and whatnot. Honestly, I've been observing some guys in my area who just comes everyday and never making a single call. I'm not one to judge but I do wonder how they get by. And lately they have been getting on my nerves by the noise they make and the disturbances they cause. I remember when I was speaking on the phone to a prospect they were oohing and aahing over a new project launch over my head. I could probably box them there and then but I gave a killer glare and told them to be quiet. It was peaceful for the next hour or so, and then they continued again. I don't understand why they like to waste time doing nothing in the office when every little time is important to me... especially when it seems like each week passes by so fast! Also, I'm blessed beyond grace to have capable mentors who always lead me to greater heights. I realise that I've wasted time in the past and now I want to make the most out of it. Yet I do have the asset of time on my side. I'd never go into my own biz now because I know the odds of making it. Though I do hope to have a venture capitalist by my side and start a retail chain of sorts that works bigtime.
It's important at this juncture to maintain relationships and build new ones. We are shaped by the people we like to meet, and the people around us. I want to make sure of my early retirement in comfort. Honestly I'm pissed when people say, oh, I get good clients because of my good looks or it's so easy. Yeah, try it yourself. I've met so many people without even closing deals, but at least I can say for myself that I did put in effort, I did work hard. Even in relationships, our most important decision of choosing a life partner, it won't work out if we don't work hard at it. It seems nonsense to me to hear people saying that they are tired, they have tried... When all they do is nothing.
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