With compliments from Singtel - $45 worth of mooncakes from Raffles The Plaza. Superb!

Reality shows and the harsh reality of life...

Remember that what is hard to endure will be sweet to recall.

I've been thinking about the people I meet recently and the ones whose lot in life seems like it will never be good. There is still the great divide between poly and uni students - or those that have a degree compared to a diploma. On one hand I'm glad I belong to the other, 'better' side, that I don't have to search that hard for a 2K and above paying job. Meanwhile, not everyone has the chance to get a degree, so, being judged on a piece of paper seems rather harsh. Watching those reality shows really grips my mind, too. Seeing people who obviously cannot make it in dance/singing/acting whichever show they take part in, yet - either being really bigheaded and thinking they are an undiscovered star or, just another one out for fame really irks me. It's like modelling - some industries need certain KEY factors that some people have naturally - a talent, an aptitude, height, or good looks... and if you can't make it, why not try something else that suits you better instead of trying and trying again. I guess that's another message those reality shows try to give.

I'm glad I know what I do better so I don't have delusional dreams - sure, I have a bit of natural ability for arts, including painting, singing and dancing more so than the average person, but definitely not enough to 'make it' on the international screen. So, treat it as a hobby or something to do with your spare time. I like English but I don't like it that much to soak it up 24/7 or to constantly teach others about their poor grammar, so I take up a part time teaching assignment that brings in pretty good pocket money.

I usually do my manicures at Bugis Village - the cramped up, open-air place to find cheap clothes and sometimes nice accessories, although it's increasingly coming from places like Thailand and HongKong, but sometimes there are nice finds like factory rejects Abercrombie and Fitch at the airconditioned second level or nice dresses for a small bargain of what you'd find elsewhere in Far East type of shops. Being in a kind of chatty mood, I made conversation with a wide eyed, petite girl who was doing my nails in a dark plum color with dragonfly stickers. Turns out she was most probably older than me, married with 2 kids. I wondered how she could survive with the meagre pay and long working hours in the claustrophobic shop. I wondered even if they worked hard, whether their pay could hit $1K a month as the basic manicure was only $12. I added stickers and some special oil which made it to be around $20. Doing my nails there, the service was better than at other specialised manicure shops, yet it was half the price. I felt rather sorry for her as she shared that she started working after N levels and worked for 3 years as a manicurist. The other girl that I spoke to - at a pushcart where I made a 'skin' for my handphone, only studied to O levels and had tattoos on her fingers, shoulder blade and ankle. She looks pretty in a Jolin way, petite too and shy yet easygoing in the friendly, laidback way. I just wondered how they could get by. Standing by a pushcart would bore me to bits! Sometimes I wish there was a way to help those in our society. But sometimes the help is unwanted, and even not welcomed. I wonder how these people are going to survive, marry, and have kids. Already it's becoming so hard for us 'normal' people.

Spirited Designs

Please view my jewellery designs (so far only these few as it is really time consuming)

at www.spiriteddesigns.blogspot.com !

I was inspired to do these as you can't find good quality jewellery at this mid-range price (either really expensive, or those cheapo plastic ones.) So, I made my own and it has been very fulfilling.

As it is ''spirited designs'', of course some upcoming ones will have cross motifs and etc. These are going to be popular I hope.

Right now the collection features vintage keys, chains, rosettes and nice brooches.

Thank you so much for your support!

The perks of being thin

Being one of the tallest girls in my kindergarten, and primary, and secondary, I always felt like I was 'too tall'. Even though then and now, many girls would come and tell me I was their 'ideal height'. Maybe it works for you when you are in showbiz or a model. Me, I'm just an ordinary slim tall gal! Heels make me self conscious as I'd then tower over most of the guys. I'm not 'too tall' now, most of the guys have caught up with me since then.

I've always assumed that being thin comes naturally with being tall. After all, 'lanky' is an apt description for tallies like us. However I've always wanted to be more... voluptuous, despite lots of girls telling me they envy my long legs, my erh, ability to wear almost anything and still look okay. I never knew girls had so much trouble in the wardrobe department when they are slightly chubby, when they have to watch what they eat and still put on weight from drinking water. I don't exercise much (walk a lot though) but then, I don't eat much either and I'm hyperactive so that combination is a good one, I guess. I just lost 1 kg from 2 days of flu plus 2 weeks of no-lunch lunch. Actually, I don't feel hungry often, I guess I just eat to gain energy and kill time, of course I enjoy savoring the taste of delicious food as well! I think I'm quite in touch with my own body - I don't weigh myself regularly, but felt thinner on the limbs plus my ring was loose... I guess the experts are right, it's hardest to lose in the tummy and thighs area, although my thighs are non existent thanks to the no-visible-hipbone genes... But after the flu somehow felt myself being thinner. Every kg makes a difference when you are thinner I guess. My butt disappeared when I lost 5 kg during dengue last year. A secret: Drink Meiji milk. I drank a litre and it came back like normal!

And 'normal' girls won't want to associate themselves with me... it's like I'm in a class of my own. It's hard to go shopping with me actually... 'normal' girls will lose their self esteem when I can fit into anything 'free size' and usually, Euro/US 'small'. I don't even usually try on tops. Don't ask me about Asian brands though as I always find their hemlines too short for my long torso.

The downsides of being thin - or odd sized:
1. People just say that you are blessed with a high metabolism rate (How many times I've heard that, man...)

2...and can't identify with 'normal girl' problems of water retention, tummy, calorie count, taking half an hour to decide what to wear, can't find clothes to fit... etc.

3. Mean office 'aunties' will try to stuff you with extra mooncakes, oily breakfast and other extra snacks you don't usually take.

4. You always need padding for bras and can't wear black or dark colors, even if you like them.

5. Because of being too bony, wired bras chafe your skin and so does g-strings till you're rubbed red and raw.



But being thin has its perks. Of course, only thin and superthin girls can identify with me. Heh.

1. You don't have to worry about sagging parts when you get old. Hee...At least they will be slightly less sagging...

2. You feel so darn good when you ask the salesgirl, "Oh, size 'M' is what waist length in inches? Hmmm... I think it will be too loose. Give me 'S' instead."

3. You start to feel less darn good when 'S' is still loose...

4. You feel so pleased when you can fit into a size 25inch jeans with space to spare and just wish that the waist number is printed on the back, like Levis'...

5. You can give people healthy eating and/or dieting and exercising advice and you won't see any skeptical looks or frowns.

6. You don't look like a waddling duck when pregnant and you still have long legs to showcase ala Heidi Klum.

7. Plus you will never suffer the indignity of wearing size "L" except when pregnant.

8. No one will refer to you as 'fatso', 'hamburger', 'miss piggy' or ask you, 'How far along are you?' innocently when you sport a dress with sports shoes.

9. No one will exclaim 'Oh you've lost so much weight!' happily when you have lost weight. They'd just say, eat more, you're losing too much.

And the clincher...
10. You get the much sought after extra piece of mooncake with double egg yolk that all the aunties don't dare to eat infront of the other aunties, thus passing it to you, saying, "You can afford (to eat without worrying) it!"


Cheerio!

Money and meaningless things that affect us

Someone mentioned that the price of shuttlecocks have gone up... All I can say, certain things affect other (industries) in different ways!

Yes, because of the chicken flu. I also have flu, these last couple of days. I wonder if my absence has affected anyone...?

I guess for most people small things in life don't seem to have much of an impact... Until that thing - taken for granted, disappears. Most people blame the government and complain about the recent IMF, that the road diversion seems to be very un-pedestrian and driver-friendly, that the policemen (Never knew there were so many!) situated at almost all our major shopping centres seem to add a heightened sense of insecurity... Being unhappy about such small stuff is a choice - Sure, I too glance at my watch more than a few times while passing through the diversion to my office the last weeks, but the time delay I would say at most, is just a mere 10 minutes, so why get so worked up over this small 'wastage' of time where during other instances, we fritter time away too.

Been watching Oprah - about 'debt diet', how many Americans are struggling in debt yet can't bear to give up their extravagant, wasteful lifestyles. I think money for them becomes a neccessity. It's a different outlook on life when you work for the monthly salary, compared to when you don't really need it and work to pass the time... and surprisingly, the latter is less stressed and ultimately performs better. I've seen many cases like this in my office. For myself, I don't work best under stress, rather, under a consistent, relaxed effort I cruise.

I used to 'count the cost' of many things - write down all my expenses in a book, fret about how much is left over in my bank account. Unfortunately I never mastered the habit of saving during my secondary school days - I'm not someone who buys a lot of stuff, but, the money goes to entertainment, mostly. See, I get bored easily and it doesn't pain my heart to watch maybe 3 movies in a week. The price is comparable (during my time) to going out for coffee... so why not watch a movie instead? Now... I think my choice of movie screenings become pickier - or do I realise that there are not many good shows to watch nowadays?

So, I am very afraid to get into debt, and I think that is a good thing... Even borrowing money... I do try to REMEMBER to pay it off asap. The thing is I've a really bad memory so all those who borrowed money from me... I hope I get it back someday. I've seen families like those on Oprah, stressed to death about keeping up with the bills, and seeing our way of life in sg, I have a sick feeling that that's going to be the case for many around me. See, previously the clothes in Robinsons', M&S, etc those departmental store brands were the norm - They were affordable, although, of course, basic and slightly frumpy. But hey, everyone I knew would buy from these staples. Our pagers never needed changing and mobile phones could last at least a year or two before some accident happens and it dies on us... And even if some accident happens, I remember them being more lasting! Now, mobile phones twice the price has a lead time of 6 months to a year. Clothes no longer are cheap. Look at Topshop, a simple dress costs at least $100. Even Giordano... wow. I won't make a last resort to those cheapo HongKong or China blouses though... It just looks bad.

And talking about handphones, in my lifetime I have used about ... 7? phones. Starting with a Motorola V-something (previously Motorola and Ericsson were the market leader) which screen changes color as different people call you... Of course that time the screen was gray with black font. I had many Nokias, and even the Motorola startac, the flip phone - the predecessor of the Razr. That was still one of the best designs if you ask me. Of course, Nokia soon won popularity with its user friendly functions although, up till now it's still so thick and heavy.

For most of us we buy things to keep ourselves happy. Me, included. Buying small cute things gives me an adrenalin rush for most of the day - similar to creating something of worth be it a painting, a necklace... Well, I do hope that we won't find ourselves having perpetual debt - In my line of work I've met many savvy investors who has that spare 5 or 6 figure sum to spare. Maybe we might rationalise, oh, those are the high flyers in the company. Or, those come from a rich family, or they have not many liabilities, no kids, no old parents etc. But surprise, surprise! Most of them come from rich families (true) that did not leave them any money, instead, teaching them how to afford the kind of lifestyle you want. And so, they look just like any other sg family, working in a middle management job. But they know how to save and what to spend on. And they will be much better off than the rest of us!

I've found my rich Dad, a mentor to guide me in the business area. I hope I'm teachable enough to start doing the right things at an early age. Some people believe that they want to be bankrupt before 30, so they can learn how to be a millionaire in the future. Me, I'm not so high-risk but not so chicken either. At my age I've gone to many places and met many people some can only dream about when they secure that higher management title. To step out in faith, there will be open heavens, said Fifi. Yes! I believe that whatever you step out in faith to do, there will be a new lesson learnt, a new experience and most of all, you learn how to face adversity, how to be strong.

When I see people complaining much about the small things in life, I guess they have not learnt how to complain about the big things.

On a jewellery hunt...

Christmas is commmmming.... fa la la la la!

What can I say? I do like to plan ahead. Especially with the weather so bleak these days, reminds me of the 'wintry' Xmas mood =)

And seeing so many people making their own jewellery at the bazaar and elsewhere online, I was inspired to do my own. Mostly because in shops I cannot find what I am looking for, and I cannot bear to wear something someone else has. Hee, exclusive me. Was pretty intrigued at a friend's Lego earrings her ardent coll got for her. Sweet. Well, I like chunky kiddy stuff but unfortunately it's a no-no at work. Though I dared to wear Crocs once 'cause of the rainy wet ground. Don't you just hate the feeling of wet slippery sandals...

So lately have been on the lookout for craft shops which unfortunately in sg, is as rare as... LD records shop... I think making art and craft is really a dying pasttime. No one embroiders or makes those beaded fruit trees anymore. Noooo. Funnily went out with dear YH to Holland V yesterday...thought they should have those trinket shops... well there were 2 and one was closed and it was "Forever Company" (yong heng gong si) in Chinese... Was so funny I just stood there laughing...As Mr Forever is out with me... we joked that's why he closed the shop!

Today ended work early (self declared!) so I made a trip to one of the slightly musty shops in my hometown... surprise, they have all sorts of newfangled items like those anchor, sailor trinkets that is so so in right now plus of course all the old beaded stuff. Also many new kinds of beads, and everything to make jewellery with. So happy! (The next thing I will embark on is scrapbooking and painting, which I used to do) Bought to my budget of $15... forgoed the anchor trinket - think it will be outta fashion soon, plus it was too common now... And so!

Surprisingly happy with my original, exclusive design.

But I took really long to make it. Ha. One and a half hours! I didn't know what to do, where to hook etc. First time mah. But now I know. A long necklace next? I must say that it's really relaxing just twisting and chilling out with the radio in this weather... Maybe I'd make a piece for all my cell girls... or those trinket keychain... or something! Slowly... one a week? Hehe.

Anyone want to place order... ...

Shannon thanks for the link http://www.subversivejewelry.com/

Hand made. In hand - my first creation...

My bracelet - handmade!

Yes that's my arm...

Side view - my first bracelet!

Friday Meme

I love asking and answering questions, they keep me sane.
Once again some questions to ponder upon while skipping lunch this rainy afternoon.


One body part you’d like to change?
I'm actually quite satisfied but I wish my feet could fit into normal shoes without any discomfort so I'd own 100 pairs of sexy heels instead of 2 for work.

Describe your ideal Saturday.
It would have to be waking up late, no work, bright sunny morning and a day out relaxing at the beach, reading a novel, or walking through flea marts and eating nice nolstalgic food.

What have you got for leftovers in your fridge?
Hum...nothing much. Half eaten chocolate bar. Usually not much leftovers! Haha...

You get to travel back in time for one day. How far back do you go and why?
I go back to the time when we had a way to change lives and change things. Probably to when Singapore was declaring independence...

If you had one hour with the President, what would you say to him?
I'd ask him how much he earns and spend that one hour convincing him to invest at least a 7 figure sum with me, hee...

One body part you’d never change?
My lips - always flushed and I never need to wear lipstick, plus they look full of collagen. I inherited them...Angelina Jolie type lips. Always took them for granted till I realised the problems thin lips have...

Your most favorite thing about being where you are in life right now?
Probably the fact that I have not much worries, no liabilities and enjoying my work almost every single day. That I'm still young- yet not that young where I'm not respected... yet young enough to be wilful at times without suffering much repercussions.

Ultra-violet rays or tan-in-a-bottle?
Go to Sentosa! Where the sun always shines... Then again, it has to be a whole day out. Right now am using "Hawaiian Tropics" brand of sunless bronzing cream - appears to be a moisturiser but slowly turns your skin into a nice subtle tan. I like it very much. This brand has nice suntanning lotion too.

You have an unlimited expense account; what three things do you purchase first?
A 3G palm type phone is first that comes to mind... since I really need it. The rest... Well, I would buy a house - a shophouse, and then a nice car... volkswagen van or beetle or golf...

Your least favorite thing being where you are in life right now?
Knowing that time is precious, that each year you waste right now you will live to regret it... being caught up in the daily grind of things with friends so busy that we never have time to catch up.

==
I am wondering about the state of things and what am I going to do next year. How is life like and whether the things I plant my time into will bear fruit, or at least, let me learn something new. I need challenges but I need the resources to be there as well. Am blessed by the people around me, helpful and encouraging ones whom I certainly want them to be a part of my life in the future. It's scary to imagine that in 2-5 years from now I will have everything I ever wanted, except maybe having a retail chain of my own - one of my passions and wishes. I hope that life does bring joy and hope, healing, happiness to the ones around me. Truly, that they regard the things they own not as theirs but something they are blessed by. How to be truly happy is to find joy in places you never knew existed, small things like a nice belt or a favorite purse... and to thank God for it and everything else.

My new lunch mate... or rather, no-lunch mate

iconnect comm - our shirts nice?

Still feeling woozy

Still feeling woozy - many factors: lack of sound sleep, the weather is just too hot, the migraine from yesterday still festering somewhere sending funny throbs now and then.

Don't like to feel woozy because it reminds me of how fragile and vulnerable life and relationships can be. I'm not thinking much, simply because I refuse to start the whole cycle again. Have wonderful advice from every side though. Thanks guys. I think I'm brave enough to embark on the journey of letting go since it means that you will know after that what you really want.

Something funny - or not really funny happened last night (which apparently caused my tiredness today). At night, Mom declared that the last surviving hamster Misty was dead. He was a good hamster. Feeling slightly sad about it all, the night passed uneventfully. It was only when I was about to turn in for the night when Misty suddenly popped out his head and jumped up and down. Told Mom who was puzzled and realised she mistook a piece of bread for a dead body. Happily Mom put him in a new clean cage, and happily the undead Misty ran the wheel and scratched the papers happily the whole night... forgetting to sleep, thus disturbing my sleep. I woke countless times, to the background sound of boxes-scratching.

If I'm sick, why does it seem to be my fault...
If I'm hurting inside why do I find no comfort in you... for your words seem to pierce me even further, your actions driving us apart.

I need a real, deep love. The soulmate type, the one where two becomes really one- thinking alike, caring for the other person as though he is your own. Never saying a harsh word about their lives knowing it will crumble them to pieces.

Should I just let go and look for another?

A simple love story

She cried herself to sleep last night. It was not in her to cry like this. Having no person to share her sorrows to – she doubted if even Max would understand. How to, when she herself could not even begin to see what it was all about. Faith always strengthened her in times like this. But now, weary and listless, she spent most of her time wandering aimlessly down busy suburban shops and amidst the busy chatter of happy shoppers, her heart cried out for something more.

Their hands clasped together tightly for the first time, as though it was so natural to be so, a perfect fit, hands searching for each other for the longest time. After heart wrenching experiences with men, other men whose presence in her life served no purpose but only to confuse and sadden her, Symonds’ presence was like a breath of fresh air. She admired him for all that he stood for and his rough way of saying that he liked her. She knew that there was something special in him the first time they met.

As they walked down a steep incline leading away from Fort Park, she told herself in her heart that this man was alright. The voices she heard calling out her name, the inner demons with no face or reason to be there, had slowly faded away. She was not going to give away her life to these insecurities, wondering whether those tumultuous times that seemed so long ago, yet happened only the year before, was a figment of her imagination, or something like in cursed dreams, sent to taunt her into submission. All along, Coral was not one to take things lying down. Her willful nature actually became a good factor in areas she was championing for. Teamed together with her love for creativity and interpersonal skills, she seldom lost out in this rat race of life when people her age were still trying to come to terms with their identity.

She looked at him almost achingly, wanting to voice her thoughts, but after a split second, decided against it. She wanted to let him know that his face was the one she wanted to see, first thing in the morning, forever – but thought that this would probably scare him away before he could even tell her that he loved her. He did, a few days later, and she knew that he was the type who would not mince his feelings, who told the girl exactly what his heart felt or thought, who wanted her very much and was not afraid to say so. Such a refreshing gush of air compared to her past experiences with men. Symonds looked almost shyly at her and then downwards, perhaps escaping from the brilliant intensity that shone in her eyes. She had such a passion for life before, even though being much subdued now she still had a brimming radiance around her, full of energy.

It was almost like a fairytale beginning, she mused, after yet another night of wakefulness between letting her tears fall softly at the irony of it all. Yet another failed relationship. At least, it was not like the ones she saw, couples with no passion for each other, just a longtime friendship which never could be translated into true, deep love. She saw couples where only one person had the deep love for the other and knew that, this was not what they initially wanted. She saw couples that were incompatible in every way except perhaps their passion for each other, and that was more than enough for the relationship. In the fairytale beginning, it was not like this. Never like this. Everything was perfect, no arguments, no heated tears, no turning away. In a place where there was only love and acceptance and the bonds formed, so deep that not a single dark or depressing thought could ever hope to thrive in that place. And the way he looked at her, as though he had seen the light for the first time, a small smile blossoming on his lips that said he liked what he saw very much. Eyes that betrayed nothing in his heart yet spoke volumes when he couldn’t face her intense gaze. The willingness to accompany her to strange places she wanted to go, just to break the sad monotony of life she was facing. She knew this was it.

And then the heartbreak began.

To be continued...

Like a candle in the wind

Arty shot of Lav's soccer table

I think I like pearls very much!

This girl's name is Genevieve

4 thousand smiles...

Candid shots of 2 boys, iconnect

Only in Dreams

A poem. Copyright mine.

To assume each waking-up moment
Is more pleasant than being asleep
Find that too presumptuous for sometimes
For me dreams make sense.
Dreams, a different reality
Glimpse the places souls rest by
The hopes heart clings to
The lessons life learns, the truth abided by
Dreams are visuals life cannot provide.
Eyes as wise as the willow tree
I look, and see nothing.
You look, and see a thousand maybes
Of what could be and might have been.
Please don't tell me I'm lost till you've found the right way
And I may not follow, I choose here
I only want to linger here
Here, it is peaceful within
My heart takes cover under the flight
Of wings upon high for reasons unknown
Yet comfort I take, freely given it so seems.
I close my eyes and wish for forever
When living streams mean nothing to me
The willow tree in dreams is all I need
I long to stay asleep.

At heart

I'm a romantic at heart.

Not those types of diehard romantics, no... just sometimes having little thoughts like, oh, if I were a guy, I'd buy those chocs/flowers/small trinkets for my gal...but still, touched when Darling gives me little chocs, buys sotong balls because I said I liked, carrying my oversized bag and etc. I do wish sometimes though for more affection - I mean, there is already a lot of affection in the daily many smses and we talk almost constantly, not to mention almost every night. Once he came into my life, I wonder really how it was like before. Maybe lonely Friday nights and more free time. Hurhur. Talking about sms-ing, Travis mentioned to me while we were out - that he had the same phone plan as mine - ie 500 sms, however he never exceeds that while I always do. =P

Found out today that Travis had a relapse on Wednesday. Last I saw him (Monday), he was full of life, full of plans for the week as it was his school break for this week. Alas, he has to rest at home for this week because of the relapse. Actually, we planned to meet for dinner today but he said he had to rest at home. I just felt so sad, for him. Epilepsy is something that no one knows the cause... and no known cure as well. Although sometimes, it just miraculously disappears. I kept having flashbacks of the time when I saw him, helpless on the floor, with blood streaming down. Guess I was pretty traumatised that time, and I can't even imagine how he is feeling now. It would take a mature and positive woman to accept this in a man. He can't even do basic things like learning how to drive, serving reservist...all because of this dreaded sickness... Oh God, how I wish that sickness does not touch anyone in my circle. I feel pained as I imagine his anguish. Surely he must have cried out to God many times to heal him? Yet, all he knows is that the healing will take place... but when...? Travis is one of my inner circle...a person that I really trust as my support group, although I don't think I am someone who is giving him support... well, just friendship and companionship, don't think he's close to any other gal, haha! I just wish that there is something I can do to help... If I had known, I would have gone to the hospital. Just a small show of support. It must be difficult for people to always go in and out of hospital. The toll on the body, and the convalesence time to recuperate.

At least, I'm glad that we shared a happy day together before this took place.
Please let him be well.

best foot forward

If everything was better

I love my job, I love my darling, I love my new cardi... ... but why is my phone wonky?

Wonder why so many people only always remember the bad stuff in life. Hey, when things are good, you wonder what's going to go wrong? This is a bit off. I see difficulties in work as small challenges, trying not to get personally involved... thus not affecting my day or my mood. Sure, there are nasty people, but the majority are sincere, polite, nice people. This phrase, I learnt it from the animation movie showing now, keeps ringing in my head:

''A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man, stands up for others." From the father cow to his son, meaning that as cows, they should protect the weaker ones amongst them, like chickens... =) so well, there are people around us with problems... I just thought. Usually work problems, financial problems are one of the more major stuff. Then there's sickness, worry over family's or friend's state, emotional woes, relationship problems... I guess being overly involved in other people's lives will make one really sad, if there is no proper balance. For me, I just need to chat about my day, and then, I think after draining the negative energy I will be balanced, haha! Well, hopefully my new prayer journal - signifying a new journey? will help me to remember to pray more! As I will carry it along everyday now...

So here, a meaningful rhyming poem which hopefully will inspire random strangers to do something, to be happy, to have a no-complaining day or something.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,'
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

-If, Rudyard Kipling.

Our team's apparel for iconnect - nice?

The baby lamb and cat with train set

New collecting hobby - Sylvanian families

Darling gave me a cactus in a shot glass

Shopping and giving

I think I'm scared of being bored.

Been indulging myself in a bit of retail therapy lately... yes, I need the exercise. Well, pleased to report that I have not been spending excessively, though it gives me much pleasure to finally buy the things I want. Oh, and two lovely dresses I've not yet had chance to wear.

Was searching for scented body powder to apply on myself before I go out of the house... though I never had the habit of applying powder, but I just felt that it looked so luxurious, plus I never douse myself with perfume, so I would like that subtle scent veiling me. Analysed Crabtree & Evelyn's but decided they were too costly, went down to Body Shop - they had only one scented powder which I deemed unsuitable, and M&S had nice floral ones... finally, surprise surprise, found a vintagey looking Yardley one "Lily of the Valley" and grabbed that at Mustafa's. Must go there more often, found lovely childhood memories like Complan, plain cornflakes in jumbo sized boxes, Pears' soap, etc. There is even a self-tanner that I'd like to try, someday soon. I have been faithfully applying the Lily of the Valley powder, Darling says it smells like detergent though. Makes the skin softer actually!

And in the last weeks I've been indulging in face masks courtesy of the Face Shop,( really hydrates your skin after a tan) went for a horrid manicure at Hollywood Secrets, don't think I'd ever ever go there again; mmm went to obscure places to shop... but realised all I need is in the vicinity of where I work, so I don't really have to try so hard next time! Saw interesting toys at this shop selling miniatures, and today I bought a bag. Printed with chic anime-like characters ala LeSportsac. Roomy enough to be an overnighter. I really like this bag, made me so happy for the whole of today and perhaps the whole of tomorrow too as I'd be bringing it out! Retail therapy really works for me I think. Oh yes, and I went to City Square and Holiday Inn Plaza. Both Darling and me thought the trip so fruitful (shopping wise) that we decided to make a trip there sometime soon. Got contact lenses at about $12 off the usual price, nice wooden heels I can wear to work (I want to buy 10 pairs, its THAT comfy) a top, nice food, etc. The usual, at cheap deals and some things of course, you can't find locally. Makes me wanna hit bkk and all the other places.

Am really happy that I am able to 'treat' my friends and family... I've always been generous, and amazingly God has always blessed me with more! I won't hesitate to buy Crystal Jade bakery goodies for my family if I can, a whole big bag always finishes within 48 hours in my family. For as long as I can remember I will buy home mooncakes to be savored. I really believe in giving monetarily, especially to those in full-time and students who want to serve God. Perhaps I've been there before that is why I know how it's like. I will never forget the anonymous person who gave $600 during my Alpha Track course, to me as a graduation gift. Though I may not know him, I dearly hope God will reward him lots! It's amazing as I hear of stories like, my father's friend in heavy debt, still able to bless my family with a lovegift. This is truly giving till it hurts, giving from the heart. And my cell folks, they are really willing to give as well! I see members who will not hesitate to treat us to supper, or cover up the balance, simple things like that. Members who volunteer to teach underprivileged kids, members who offer to sponsor mission trips. Members who are drivers who always, always save me and the other gals a lot of money as they always send us back, so much until perhaps we have got used to it and don't assume otherwise. I'm amazed at this spirit of good cheer. Maybe in the real world, these people around me, still have loads of unselfishness leftover. I'm challenged to be like these!

I don't usually treat people - maybe I don't like to spend on food haha! But I do buy small cards, gifts and accessories for my pals. Thought that when I see something nice, they would like to have it too. =) Lately when deals come in, I make it a joyful point to treat those around me, a small drink or a meal with Darling. I've been so blessed by all of their generosity, it's the least I can do! And I feel great doing it!

I hit upon a novel idea of blessing Regis with a love gift as he goes full time for Singapore Youth For Christ this year. I smsed Mr BestFriend, among others, and was thrilled to hear his immediate reply "Yes, count me in! I can spare $XX for this lovegift". Am always grateful for his support. Ah, I do hope the love gift will be 'of value' to the recipient.

I guess it's hard for us to understand what the missionaries in... India need. Maybe what they really need is a bicycle to get around, or some chocolates they are craving after... Well, for Regis, this is something essential for Singaporeans daily. I do hope some close ones contribute as well. Though they do not know him, wouldn't it be simply wonderful to tell him, Hey, my cell members and boyfriend contributed this to you. Though you might not know them, they are concerned about your efforts in the poly ministry and want to help in this small way.

Any amount sure goes a long way in building God's kingdom, let's give n give with joy.

my pants, bag, camera pouch

Lor Mee at amoy

bird on the road

CAN - Rick and Dick Hoyt

I can only imagine. - Mercy Me.

This video brought me and I believe, many others to tears as it was shown during last service.

To the tune of Mercy Me's I can only imagine, this shows the father-son team that competes in marathons, trialathons, etc. What's special about this is that the son, Rick, was born with his umbilical cord around his neck, cutting off oxygen from his body and he lost the use of his limbs. Doctors proclaimed him a vegetable but he showed signs of intelligence and a love for sport.

Be touched by his father's love for him and even the remarkable love of Our Father.
This is one video you HAVE to watch.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryCTIigaloQ

To read more about them,
http://www.teamhoyt.com/history.shtml

All my friends running today in the AHM and Sheares run, run for Jesus... you have been a great inspiration to me as well!

I eat at this place almost every week

the clown and W kids - invest in land while u r young!

with ky and jtjia

with trixie and kylie

me, fy, raj at W

A very traumatised rabbit

Dresses - not your usual suspects

Pretty, pretty dresses.

I'm not much of a dressed up person - sure, I do believe in wearing nice clothes and totally look down on those hongkong blouses with little pearls sewn on and cheap looking printing. Is it just me or are clothes getting more and more expensive these days? Plus, I'm someone really hard to please when it comes to buying something I really like and it has to be of a good bargain too. But lately, I'm starting to widen my horizons. Being involved in the fashion industry before, and knowing the cost price of cotton, I would never put down more than a hundred (or more than fifty, even...) for a white cotton dress... I did see one nice one yesterday from BCBG Maz Azria but being factory runoffs the price for it is a bit steep. Still, I would probably consider it someday if I had tonnes of money to spend on dresses. I'm quite fascinated by dresses. Especially now everyone tells me tall people should wear dresses. After I got my retro flower print dress (alas now faded by the wash), I began to hold a high regard for these one piece outfits. Wearing a dress makes me feel oh-so-womanly, they accentuate the little curves I have, and makes the whole day seem like a fairy tale - you know, swishing around in colored chiffon silks really puts one into a good mood. I never liked dresses that much - I guess I'm someone more practical. Give me shorts and a hollister shirt anytime. But after my little splurges on Mr Marc Jacobs and nameless pieces from street stores, I'm hooked. There's nothing like wearing a dress to anywhere, any function... a dress for every occasion! I feel like a princess - or someone riche, when I'm out in my Marcs. Just need to find the right footwear for these dresses - I can never think of the right ones. Sandals? I'm a fan of crocs and havaiianas but the dress would look so dastardly paired with them. Buying a dress is definitely worth your money.. besides I do know where to get the good deals for $100 around, and below, for really nice steals.

Made two nice discoveries last week and this week... shops selling dresses. Everytime I look at a stunning woman in a stunning dress, I always wonder where she shops at, online? Now I know... heh heh heh. Just on the third floor on Aerial Plaza near my workplace there is a small shop selling one pieces of Anna Sui, Diana von Fustenberg, Mr Marc, BCBG, etc etc. Lovely! Not very expensive as well, if you do need a cocktail or bridesmaid dress. Much nicer than if you go to Daniel Yam or those kind of boutiques. I think I will aim to have a dress for everyday... right now I'm keeping my eye out for a light turquoise number which I think will bring out my skin and etc. Had a traispery down this wholesale building where I bought my MiuMiu and Mr Marc, was disappointed as they had no new stuff and some, I suspect, fakes. Although it's still really affordable...Well, went around the building and wanted to leave when I took a turn and spotted a nice shop with nice korean dresses. Cheap, too! Isn't $28 good? So I got one $30 dress in milk color and a $10 knit top I can wear to work. I tried on like most of them and all suited me fine... Think me shall go back soonest. The milk color dress I can wear to Hill's wedding with the lawyer. It definitely looks more than $30 (after discount).

I would recommend girls to wear more dresses now, it really brings out the femininity of us women. Each time I see the lunch crowd around Caltex, I would 'rate' them... mentally... sadly to say, office workers are not dressed well at all. It's always predictable shades of taupe, gray and black - the all time favorite. Rarely do I see a stunning woman.

On the lookout for a red dress, a turquoise one and maybe a retro one for fun. Flea market season's coming up! Hope to get a little return on my investment, hee.

Answers

I like my life.

Been happily settling into my life, having adjusted to the unscheduled schedules, the extra things I do for pocket money, and just having that bit more to spend really cheers me. I do hope to save up to a substantial amount at the end of the year, and decide whether to put it into investments or just visit Ange in Oz. Maybe both, if everything comes my way. I think the daily grind of life does bore into me a bit, somehow, not struggling, but just tired and sickly now and then. I believe I do need more 'sabbaths' - day of rest. Boy can I sleep and sleep!

Received a letter from a long ago ex boyfriend of mine. No, nothing salacious. I'm quite proud of him actually - spiritually, he seems to be the one doing the best, out of the rest...last I heard. So out of the blue, quite surprised to receive a letter... typed out, stating he has joined full time in this local missions org, needing sponsorship. I guess some might say it's dumb to just join when one's just grad and totally no income, no nothing, only the rewards in heaven. I guess those practical ones would say, hey why not work for a year and save up to go? But well, having gone through much criticism in the decisions I have made for my life, I sort of empathise with him. Not only does he not have monetary support now, maybe the lack of friendly and family support puts him at an all time low. No wonder so many are reluctant to go fulltime. I wonder, if those pastors from big, rich churches (like mine), with a comfy chair, aircon, drawing a sizeable salary that allows them to support a car and condo, if they were told that they would not be receiving any salary, would they still continue on? I do have my doubts. Yes, without money no one can survive in this world. Perhaps this makes our faith weak.

For me I will support as and when I can. =) Our cell's also adopting a family under church's charity arm. This widow just accepted Christ at the age of 70, having one retarded son and another. Sigh... Hope that with our cell's involvement we can make the world a better place for them. All around me, I see people having problems. These major problems like lack of money can turn the world upside down. Not too long ago, I too had some financial woes. Wrong choice of subject to study? Cost-wise, probably! But I never worried to the extent that I wanted to die or wallowed in depression, also the sadness and longing feeling were bad enough. Sometimes I did condemn myself for spending too much, beyond what I can possibly earn, or even splurging on simple things like a drink. Each time the balance on my Ezlink card got too low, I would panic and sometimes prefer to walk home instead of spending another few cents. But all these has taught me not to sweat the small stuff in life. Some friends just have simple desires of being healthy, or just falling in love, getting married and starting a family. Small desires, but for some of them, these seem impossible to fulfil. These are just small stuff - all around us, maybe not in this island but just beyond, people have all but lost hope, became orphans, lost everything they have ever owned in this life. And for us, we just feel disappointed because we cannot afford a luxury item or been disappointed over a trivial matter.

Yes, I do feel like that sometimes when I see others around me seemingly happy having something I don't have. But I've recently been convicted to treat the people around me, and treat them better as well. It's been said that the way you treat others is the way you want to be treated yourself. Well that is true to certain extent. If you are constantly looking out for people's flaws and shortcomings, always pointing them out, you can be sure that your own flaws are visible to everyone around you. Knowing about it is one thing, acting to change is another. Life is preparing you for another eternal journey, why not have this learning curve now when we still can afford? I want to be able to treat people to a meal once in a while, having the finances and joy to. I know that if I help someone, or feed the hungry, clothe the poor, I am doing Jesus a favor. And I do enjoy doing it tremendously!

Good advice

Because I am in a good mood, I shall dispense some advice for people who are struggling in their work, relationships, self identity, whatever.

1. You will always have problems.
Whose goal in life is to be happy? Well, mine is! But striving for happiness does not mean we do not have problems - in fact choosing to ignore them is worse if you might agree. There are problems in every area of life be it finances, work, study, family, relationships. And once one problem is solved, another one inevitably pops up. What's one to do? Some say focus on the solution , not the problem... But sometimes the solution takes long in coming. Meanwhile, know that life is a learning curve and we do have to improve ourselves. =)

2. Lower your expectations and float in hope.
We are disappointed at times because face it, we put too much pressure and high expectations on ourselves. Living here is definitely stressful and sometimes we have the same demands and expectations of everyone and everything. Why are we making ourselves miserable... come to think of it, we are doing this to ourselves. Can anyone stop complaining for a moment? We complain the bus is too slow, the weather is too warm/cold, our friends are too irritating, our family is not understanding, and so on. Make one day a no complaint day and just smile. Smiling at others is good for your heart! I'm not saying you can be incompetent because incompetent people really should be shot, but just look on the bright side for once - or count your blessings. If the situation is really really hopelessly bad, and if you personally cannot do anything about it, then you can only leave it to God. Stop worrying when you do that, it shows a lack of trusting Him. I've seen many people complain about their jobs. Sure work is stressful and no one likes 100% of everything they do. Even though mine is, I don't complain, because I choose not to. Maybe I feel so blessed that I'm given the opportunity of lifetime to work here. I mean, the 'worst-case' senario is that if you are really unhappy, just quit. You will only lose your job and don't sacrifice other things in life which are more important.

3. Pamper yourselves!
I believe in pampering yourself - with small rewards! It's so relaxing to go for a massage or a manicure after some stressful activities, or just chill out with lots of cake and nice drinks. Retail therapy is also good. Just buying some small toys or trinkets to make yourself happy. Doesn't need to be very expensive. I sometimes treat myself to bubble tea - don't know why but feel luxurious after drinking it! Also, love manicures now that they are sooooo affordable. For guys I think sometimes they too need to take time off, play games, do some fun activities. Life is meant to be enjoyed and at times, we just need to relax and waste time. Put on a face mask, relax at home. I find exfoliating the body really relaxing. Using my own method of homemade spa. It's simple. Just find salt at home, put in some olive oil, half half, plus a few drops of essential oils like lavender to soothe. Can even use camomile. Mix it up and rub it on your skin when you bathe, from the limbs upwards. The salt circulates your body, the oil moisturises and warms up your skin and u will have a good night's rest! I also like to go to this toy shop and buy myself minatures or kitchy items that makes me laugh. Daydream. It helps. When I am on long bus or bike journeys I always think of how I can maximise my money to buy the things I really want to improve myself. Choices are getting hard now - even if you want to buy skin care, you have too too many places to choose from - even muji now has a skincare range. It's so tempting to just give in and get the simplest one or be indecisive. I can spend hours at Watson's looking at the range of products! So constructive daydreaming helps me to plan out what is the best for me. Say, I want to buy a nice dress for a wedding function and I have a certain budget - while daydreaming I will plan out which shops I will go to and on what days, in search for the perfect dress for me! Also, I will search though my mind which kind of cutting is flattering for me, what materials and fabrics I like, and what length. =) It often works out well. Daydreaming helps us to know what we want and not be swayed by the huge array of choices placed in front of us.

How happy are you?

Aye I already knew that!

How Happy Are You?

Quiz Score: 6 out of 12 You have your ups and downs, but for the most part, you are moderately happy. There’s no burning desire to change your life. You’d probably have an uplifting effect on someone who is less happy than you, but at the same time, you could benefit if you associated with those happier than yourself.


Take this free PhD personality test go to www.chatterbean.com/ruhappy/


So I've been day dreaming lately about improving myself, my wardrobe, getting a new look and maybe cutting my hair. Changes in my state of mind? Found really good websites for nice hairstyles - japan, of course... but wondering if it would take too much outta me to maintain plus I've been taking forever to let my hair grow out to want to cut it again. As a young woman, we should pamper ourselves at times! And thus I bought nice face mist - the one you will spray to set your makeup or just to freshen up, keep forgetting to bring it out though... I must say the Face Shop (Bugis) has some really nice stuff and the cleansing cream, highly affordable, works wonders for me. I've tried all kinds from MLM to high end brands like Dermalogica, Khiels', Clarins, Elizabeth Arden, Biotherm and even Watson's brands - some are surprisingly good and some are surprisingly expensive! I think I have a kind of sensitive plus blemish prone skin on my face, although the rest of my body is wonderfully even-toned and no blemishes except for insect bites... well, I've found the solution in this green tea cleansing cream plus using the hydrating mask from cotry. Plus a bit of suntanning.

I love suntanning.

Not so sure anymore

Yesterday was talking to a doctor in my company about the nature-nurture debate. How you are like now is not because of your upbringing, but who you were born to be - your character.

It used to be 50-50. Shaped by environment 50% and the other half is due to genetic factors of which character you inherit. Now, as the doctor mentioned, nature is more of 60% influencing how the person turns out to be.

We don't understand how different another human being is from us despite being brought up 20-years apart. Yet we never even try to understand the differences, just citing it as incompatibilities, idiosyncracies.

I used to be someone who tends to over promise, start new things without ending, and always in the popular crowd. Maybe I can talk well and get along with people easily then. But these things do not matter much to me anymore. Perhaps now my focus is to build up my maturity and influence in certain areas of promise. I do value sincerity - things like keeping your word. When I promise to be there, I will. It's simple. I value time, my time as well as others' time. Doing sales, I am 90% of the time early for appointments. I'm not really an early person, but I don't want to keep the person waiting. So I prefer to wait. I have waited for my boyfriend for hours when he has a class or a service and then I meet him after that. It's alright for me, I don't mind waiting for a short time of joy. No matter how tired, if it has been promised, I will do it. And if I really can't, I will not keep people waiting, and say how sorry I am for the mismanagement. But when I have waited long, I'm appreciative of people who say thanks for waiting, who offer me a lunch or drink as a courteous way of response.

I'm really on the verge of... maybe making up my mind now. I told myself, the last time, I was sobbing at Chinatown. Over a childish insult, about me being unappreciative of Fifi who helped me. It was taken the wrong way. I never meant to be unappreciative or critical. I just voiced out how I felt at that moment. And I started to cry, primarily because I felt a lack of support. Why, my beloved sided with another person and never spoke up for me? Doesn't he understand my main source of frustration was because I was trying to ensure everyone had a place, too? Everytime I cry he says I am being emotionally unstable. I wonder whether it is because he cannot handle it. I've cried in front of Shiner... some people... none of the people who knows me say that way about me. My emotional needs are not met for a long time now... since this incident, and previously there was another one. He just rode off, leaving me sitting on a bench sobbing. I had wished he would come back, turn back and take me home. I was so tired, so weary I couldn't even will my legs to stand up and walk in the bus direction. So I sat there for hours... I walked around chinatown for hours hoping, just hoping he would come back to pick me. But he was sleeping at home and I never expected, to cry and cry on the bus journey back. I've given us a last chance since then. It's not that I cannot take mistakes, but maybe I'm really emotionally unstable so I cannot handle this anymore. When I had bed bug bites all over my arm and feeling really disturbed, he was not there for me. If he was the one, I will accompany him all night long, no matter how tired I might have felt. I can always sleep in the next day.

People have advised me to break up, I guess I know why now.

I'm disappointed, more than anything.

Is it worth even salvaging... he doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. Keeps saying he can't deal with my emotions. Why does men always focus on the problem even though they say they are solution focused? On my side, I don't even want to share with him at times, afraid of the criticism, afraid of the harsh remindings to focus on Jesus. When a man is starving, do you throw him Bible verses and tell Him God is abundant and plentiful? Of course not, you will feed him a meal or a piece of bread. Why am I always being told by him that God will help when in fact, he doesn't even feed me.

Really at a loss of what to do. I'm not asking for advice, yet they seem to come, and come so clearly. Realised who are the ones who really care about me. About my emotions, about my tears.

Ask me, again.

Argh.

To say I'm busy would be an understatement. Then again, I'm glad I'm being valued for my knowledge and time. Sometimes I do get disappointed with the results. But I know in the long run, I am building up my 'house'. It's hard at times for women todya to stay positive. What,with all the extra little work we have to do. I know of some of my friends, single ladies who are almost the sole breadwinners for the family. I cannot even imagine myself having to pay for groceries and utilities, it's already so difficult to support myself. That is why I get jaded at times. We need too many little things in Singapore that cost way too much and does not benefit us in the long run.

And I'm boggled up with the way the world works - or rather, 70-80%. I'm glad I'm not like that, but sometimes I wish I can blend in. Sometimes my mind gets the better of me, though I'm increasingly positive despite these cumbersome trials that are upon me right now. After all, I'm not in the very best position for a person around my age and demographic... but then again, I'm not the worst off either. I look forward to little treats, little things in my life that brings me joy, and I do wonder whether that's all there is to that.

I want to create something of significance and in an unprecendented move, I am going to enquire boldly. Ask, and you will receive? Not necessarily. This time, I am wanting to move into a plan, for one of my leaders. I am unhappy that this 'right' has been taken away from me, and I will fight tooth and nail, to ensure nothing happens to him. After all I know my motivation in my heart for the interests of my members and leaders. Some might say, hey why get so worked up, why bother to fight things against your control? Well... at least I know that my conscience is clear, that instead of being selfish and inward focused, I am doing what I can in my limited capabilities. I may fail. We may fail. I have foreseen this as a natural course. In fact looking at the odds right now we may fail, but IF we fail, let's just take it as a learning point for all of us! I really don't want to shield anyone, not even my children next time, from making mistakes. In fact, never failing before, or not making mistakes, what does it speak about yourself? It certainly doesn't mean you are a very wise and mature leader. Everyone makes mistakes. Some are costly, some are dismissable. Take the mistakes as a learning curve... ... But if, just if, we do succeed, then, everyone shares in th victory.

I felt that these simple truths can be applied anywhere from a work environment to ministry to even social and family areas... yet, so few people often get the chance to make this decision. For me, I'm glad I am. If you dare to stand up and speak out in front of a crowd, you will almost definitely be criticized. Expect it.

Haven't been so radical for a while now. I tend to ask 'why' regarding everything I have to do.
That's the part of me that is different.

iconnect purple

iconnect sky

iconnect saffron

iconnect magenta

iconnect 4

With a capital D! All photos with durians...

sepia: wintery tree at seletar on rainy day

sepia: at seletar with husky and owner

sepia: in tribute to siberian huskies

sepia: cell core members meetup with book review

sepia: lazy saturday afternoon blueberry cheesecake

sepia: cool glass doors at the office

sepia: manager's back at the office on the same rainy day

sepia: streetlamps reflection on rainy pavement outside fullerton hotel

sepia: rain and a man in a suit at fullerton hotel

sepia: late evening at caltex square distributing tracts

sepia: green dustbin and the river side

sepia: outside chijmes posing with hoegaarden

sepia: at chijmes, vodka launch

sepia: havaiianas and muji slippers

sepia: toy story dino standing on top of toilet row in front of comp monitor

sepia: changi airport, with ange and two stewardesses

Late night love songs with Mike

A few of the really good love songs...

Sometimes travelling home late at night bugs me. It's either, too many people - or no body at all. Can't tell which I prefer better. But till I learn how to drive, my ezlink card and Mike (mp3 player) is my best companion for late night trips.

Music is good for the soul. Hillsongs makes one want to bop around and shout it out, jazzy love songs puts one in the mood for a lounging lazy weekend at the beach or just on the couch.

Our movie outings seem to generate a lot of response. From the really young adults to the more matured ones in our church. Everyone seems to be really nice and after a good show, all around, smiles can be seen. The last one, Superman Returns, generated 23 people (around there I think) with people from East and West districts, Ignyte and DL... even some of Fifi's colleagues and oikos. Thought it was fun, though not much interaction - a given for movie outings. Thought that maybe more of these fun activities can be organized. Say a day out at the beach, or some fun and games and picnics and bbqs... but it's kinda difficult if the group is so huge! Well, this is just the start of something good I guess! Next stop: Pirates of the Carribean 2. Once again thought of forming up a group consisting of these ones, to plan activites for single adults and what have you. Today heard from colleague Kylie that she's involved in one of those single christian adults group, agape oikos. =) sounds fun! As she said, not many single adults out there are aware that there are such channels available to meet fun, new people! Just sticking to your own posse in church won't help your single life much. Well, God works in mysterious ways for some. I'm happy to see people in love! As I am... But love is complicated, there has to be many factors for love to occur, which I've narrowed down below. Perhaps fragile love is not so blind, after all.

1. Both parties must be able to meet each other and speak the same language.
At very least, we have an assumption that preferably, we will fall in love with someone who speaks the same lingo as us. Don't even talk about 'wavelength' here... which, for most people, is also a given.

2. Like each other.
Before falling in love, we must take a look at ourselves (Be your better self!) and see, hummm... can I live with THIS? Can he live with this...? Nowadays, a valuable asset is the ability to make money, or being a wise financial planner. If he is not one now, do you see the potential in him to be one in the future? And if not, are you able to accept it? Things like these come to my mind... if the person (let's say a friend) has some qualities that you are unable to like/accept for whatever reason, then , please, don't think any further.

3. Same core belief system
Definitely this is something that most of us have to have in a partner of choice. If this can be compromised, it speaks volumes about your own desperation, your own character, and your own beliefs. Not even talking about spiritual beliefs here, though I am of the opinion that a believer is a definite for me. Core beliefs and values like - I want kids. I don't smoke. I like dogs/cats. I go to church on Saturday evenings... ... True, love involves sacrifice. But just for one person, are you willing to change your whole being? Then I am scared that the person does not even know who he is loving. Be yourself, be confident in what you believe in. If the person rejects you based on these, I'm sure many others will come forward. After all, love is not skin deep. Sometimes beliefs are more important than anything else. They should be something you care about enough to die for. For if anyone does not believe in anything enough to die for, then life is not worth living.

=) Just a few pensive thoughts for the day.

Meanwhile, after eating d24, 101 and what have you type of durians last Sunday, my mouth is craving for something sweet, custardy and smelly. And the very delicious photos are up!

Wherever I am

When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,
And you know wherever I am
Ill come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And Ill be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Youve got a friend.


- Originally sung by James Taylor.

I think it's amazing how sometimes, certain things remind you of a particular person or a particular moment in time where things are fondly remembered. Others remind you of God and how He has brought you through things and only you know how much He loves you. Trust in His timing. Some people say that if there is no suffering, how can we know what blessing is.

I've been reminded of what I have become through Jesus - humbly, not through any merit of my own... That He has decided to use me. But often, as all of us, we take His love for granted. I've been told many times that it's the anointing of God that causes me to be successful in all that I do (so far) and, even being an anointed leader sets me up for success, at least in where ministry is concerned. I was chatting today and mentioned that if ever, I knew that the anointing of God left me, I would immediately step down. There's nothing worse than seeing what you have built crumble before your very eyes. And I am of the opinion that leaders must be anointed by God, not Man. It's very obvious whether one is, or not. I realise how important it is to build trust. Sometimes I fail to recognize my birthright and walk in the shadows. For the right to lead is earned, not given. I'm glad that within my circle, I can be a mouthpiece of the overflow. It's hard at times to move forward when it seems that even the people around you don't seem to understand.

But for me, I hope to be the one who does, understand, somehow. At least, I try.

It's interesting how we analyse people. Learnt that the 'vibe' you give is important, almost indispensable for trust, and leadership authority, to be gained. Some people are so natural you like them almost instantaneously. For me, I'd feel bad if I can't spend enough time with all my friends (love language is time) , so relative to this point I tend to keep people at arms' length, or only choose to share hurts to a select few as I do fear rejection and overt criticism.

With some people, the 'vibe' you get is complex, perhaps they are hiding within themselves. I wonder if they ever realise what it means to be yourself, to own your life. Some people seem happy but the vibe you get from them is not one of joy. Those who seem successful in the secular world, without a worry, but without Jesus, life is never truly joyful.

At least in my darkest moments I know I can call on His name.

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