Me and MMLee

 

Hello! Don't I just look like my relative here?
We do have a facial similarity, maybe I will grow up to be as influential as him.
This was taken in HongKong, Madame Tussaud's wax museum.

Beach guitar

 

At Sentosa, January. Cell outing.
Wish I could play guitar better but looks like my standard is capped to 'G key'.
Not really sure who took this photo of me but I really like it! I was taking photos most of the time,
so hardly had a candid shot like this. Want to go to the beach more often.

Morning Rush

"Happy people make others happy."
-Anne Frank

Was caught in today's morning rush-hour for once. Oh my...Everyone seemed to be dashing about frantically, not even waiting for the escalator to bring them up safely to their destinations. They hurry up the steps by walking in such rapid pace, that I thought their shoes must be made of a superior material to withstand such pounding, heavy actions. I guess they have got used to it. Me, I am amazed, at not being able to even move my arms around in the MRT, as everyone going to work packed in, literally like a 'tube' of sardines, herrings, tuna...

After meeting my client at 9am (collected another cheque, yay!)...I reached Raffles Place at 9:10...And I had nothing to do. Basically since my office only opens at 9:30, sometimes 9:45, depending on how fast the receptionist can walk in the rain. Not daring to risk it, I found a nice sheltered spot below Caltex House, and ordered a cup of tea. Takeaway? No, I'm having it here, I said to the auntie.

It seems such a luxury to just sip tea without having to look at the time, and watching busy executives take the lift to their offices. Having the insight that I might be hungry I also brought along with me a Japanese curry donut and milk bun from Sun Moulin, bought yesterday.

Having finished that I still had time to kill (Now I know why I don't bother waking up till 8!) and thus started on some paperwork. I'm sure the guy at the next table eating his beehoon breakfast wondered why on earth I did not bring it back to the office to do it... But it was a nice place actually, sort of reminded me of schooldays when I used to do homework at McDs and sometimes, CoffeeBean or sometimes not doing it at all. So the next morning, I would copy faster than a photocopy machine from my classmates. Needless to say, I failed those subjects every time!

So I think the base instinct from those rapid-copying days kicked in, today. I was doing my other paperwork (I haven't sorted it out since last year - not a paperwork person...) in such a 'hurry' that I actually got out of breath, and finished 1 year plus of filing in record time. Yeah! Even have time to shop at the 70% off GG5 sale (Bought work clothes!)

Thought of coming to work early tomorrow too... If I can wake up. It does seem so much more productive than working late. I do enjoy the morning dew smell, but not the tuna train ride. When boarding the train, my leg hair almost got burnt off by someone's hot soup/porridge (I didn't look, so I had no idea what was it) breakfast. Every little jerk the train took, the packet of hot soup would inevitably bump into my leg. Singe. I tried to look discreetly at the lady, but in my mind I wanted to say loudly, Hey...your breakfast is boiling my leg hair off. Haha! In the end, I guess she realised and held it on the other side, to burn some other passenger's trousers.

I guess every other day is the same; morning-rush like this. I'm glad I don't have to face it everyday. =)

====

Am putting starting touches to a short romance story. I write not because I feel like it, or I have/want to, but rather because I have a story in me. The hardest part is actually thinking of the character's names and changing the details from it being a personal account. Reading and hearing so many stories recently I can't help but want to write something that almost everyone who have fallen in love before, can relate to. Here goes... ...

Pure

Poem, copyright mine.
Promised myself to pick up on my poetry again. So I wrote two today, here's the better one.

Give me innocence
Show me frailty
All I can see in the eyes of a child
I am spinning, my heart aching
To hear you say what you meant
But, perhaps...
You never really wanted to see me
All you wanted was a little piece of heaven in a floating paper boat
A kiss means, many things
Yours meant love - or at least, I thought it was.

Take to open skies
With outstretched arms
Believe I can fly, believe anything you want
For a moment, just breathing
Smell love smell air and fresh green grass
Now any ways...
I am walking on a lonely pavement
But, perhaps
I can imagine it is not so cold anymore.

Show me innocence
Show me anything
I don't know what I want
I only know what I don't...

Moon & mountain

Saturday night, after dinner, before sending Jon C off at the airport. Saw a beautiful half-moon almost perched on a concrete mountain. The photo does not do it justice for the sight is really exquisite.

I like U.

Someone nice said to me,
"I like the way you are...Stay that way."

I like you.

Just go ahead and like him or her, la.
I don't know why when people like someone they first have to 'justify' their feelings FIRST before... eh, continuing to LIKE the person?
I cannot like him because of his age...He is too old/young...I don't like younger guys... Or because he has liked my best friend before... Or because he is Malaysian/Indonesian/whatever, ...He is too nerdy for me. Too holy. Too mature. Too immature.
Blah blah. And then, just because the feelings aren't justified, we go out into the world wide forest searching for someone else, to fit the bill?

I guess liking someone can't be defined in that way. If the person fits every little thing you have been looking for... except one - say the two words 'unequally yoked' and most would shudder. But what if you really liked him. For those who have never ever liked a non-christian before, I guess it's just easy to condemn the relationship and 'try to talk some sense' into the person. But for those who have ever liked someone from the 'dark side', you know how difficult it is to overcome it. Same goes for liking someone of a different race, or just somewhat different from you.

Sure, same-same attracts. In a Reader's Digest article this is the point that they keep bringing up. You are more likely to fall for someone in your work place - yes, office romances work out most of the time - or someone you meet pretty often in a social setting ie The Church. Then it's easier. You don't have to worry about say, changing church. Or worry about how your kids will look like? Will the kid have Dad's dark skin and Mom's small eyes? Heh. Usually we like same-same, just because it's easier. After all this is an 'instant-noodle' era. Just pour hot water. We don't want to worry about differing beliefs, different countries. Even in Singapore - must we live in the same district? I've heard ridiculous sayings about how some gals prefer their boyfriend to live in the East than the West. Err, Singapore is already quite small you know... (But I agree East guys are better looking!)

I like you!

I remember saying absurdly many times to a wonderful guy I was with, "I love you." I love you. I love you, I used to say almost every time we met or parted. But I think I said it more to convince myself that this was going to last as I probably thought it wouldn't, because 'we are too different'. So maybe to spare themselves more heartbreak, safe people choose same-same, after all.

I like you...

Strangely how people seem to like the most unsuitable people. I mean, it's strange to me because I hardly like/love people easily, and when I do like them, I like them for quite some time. But some people can like people every fortnight, every month... Isn't it tiring? Told Kie in the car yesterday about a long-forgotten ex-crushee of his, whom I knew liked him because another lady told me - or rather, asked her about it in my presence. It is all so long ago, so I have no qualms about telling him about that now. He was flabbergasted. I think I can keep secrets pretty well - at least I will forget about it instantly and don't even sneak in a snidely smile at the abovementioned. But not wanting to kill friendships, I thought she was totally unsuitable for him. How do you tell friends their liking is totally unsuitable? You are putting yourself in the target area for a lot of bashing up - that would be so un-worth it. So I will just observe many likings and a few relationships 'crashing and burning', and when the person comes to me for sob-pity party, I will just try my best to hold my tongue and say, I told you so.

After a traumatic relationship, only Jelly honestly told me "I'm happy for you." And then he explained why, and I don't doubt his words. So I think when your friend cannot see the mistake they are driving themselves to, it is best to tell them exactly what you think. In this case diplomacy and tact does not really work. It's good to be a woodblock sometimes! =)

I like you?

Having just passed the v-day, many magazines and whatnot this month brought up the topic of love. Even Kie's cell topic was on l.o.v.e! And Reader's Digest tried to 'define' how to find Mr Right and fall in love etc. Normally I would not read such articles, as I think it's all psychology nonsense... but what to do, I had time to kill while waiting for my client in a magazine store. Pretty interesting too! It said that they conducted a test on which individuals were shown photos of people, twice. One with the pupils dilated and one, normal one. In almost all instances they individuals picked those with pupils dilated as 'more attractive' even though there was no other significant difference. RD says that when we are aroused, we tend to look at someone with pupils dilated. Being a dark-eyed creature, I don't think I can 'see' or feel my pupils dilating, and the other party can't see it also? So this point proves the thingy that most people know already, couples staring into each others' eyes and feeling something for each other. It's actually because of the pupils. RD had more examples and some were pretty interesting, others we probably know about already. But I found this the most interesting, next time I shall try to see if my date's pupils dilate without looking too creepy. It's strange because I can never sense whether anyone has a torch for me. I don't even think further why they are being nice to me, only because all my male friends are super nice as well.


I like you.

There is no conclusion to this post, just that when you like someone, many many people will be interested in finding out why you will exactly like this person. It's as though you suddenly became more interesting! And inevitably, they will share with you their past or current likings as well, and it makes both of you buddies in a world where even simple likings have to be justified...and you shouldn't like him because of... (whatever reason). To me, it's just a liking only , anyways, and the fact that you like this person shows you appreciate this person, and both of you are having nice feelings about each other. So why kill it by being objective?

Melaka notebook: thoughts

You've never really been to a place until you have talked to the people.


Frankly quite bothered that I had to go to a meeting immediately after touching down at the Kallang bus station, and then receiving 50+ emails in the course of these 3 days. Seems like the hectic life of working in Singapore is 'all coming back to me now'. Hate it. Wished I could have stayed longer, like a fortnight and to the other nice places.

Still, I shall not let this affect me and think happily of my short solo backpack trip. Lots of interesting things happened, it's almost as though I was destined to meet these nice people.

==

After the short bus journey, touched down at Melaka Sentral bus station. It is now the biggest bus station in Malaysia, I was surprised to hear that. About 4 years ago when I was there, it was a small rural station near the river, near the guesthouse (20 mins' walk).

I stayed at the same place I was at, Eastern Heritage at Jalan Bukit China. It is a long chinese peranakan-style guesthouse with art deco European tiles and design interspersed with Chinese motifs engraved on the walls and doors. I love that place, big and airy and almost ancient - was built in the 1930s and very well maintained up to this day. There were others there: Czech, Austrian, Italian, French backpackers who were also staying for a few days in Melaka. Actually this trip is very meaningful for me because I went up on my birthday - it's like my birthday present! I hope that will be the case every year from now. Also, because of the recent relationship woes, I hoped that my spirits would be lifted by this trip. Was supposed to meet Ches but he had a last minute call to Oman.

When I was walking around later, I wanted to go to the old bus station that I was at 4 years ago, and so asked for directions. But no one seemed to know, or understand me. I met a nice old lady, she was walking in my direction, so I asked her about it. And also about Jonker's Street. She took me there in her car, just said, "Hop on if you are not scared of me." Me, scared of a little old lady? She was really nice and told me about the developments in Melaka. Now, it is becoming a bit like Johor or KL, there are more robberies, more bad people. It is considered unsafe for a person to walk the streets alone, especially at night. But somehow, though I have heard that in Johor too, (I've walked alone in Johor Bahru and Skudai too)... I have never met with any danger at all, so I guess God has been protecting me all along.

==

I love walking by myself, around the historic city, seeing all the well-preserved buildings with Dutch and British influences...somehow when I am constantly surrounded by people, especially in a busy city like Singapore, I lose a part of myself - and find myself getting angry, irritated and pushy - perhaps out of the need to survive in the midst of the busy crowd. Surprisingly, I find myself a much better person, more gracious, gentle, affable here in a sleepy town. I hope never to lose that part of myself again, that I will always have a friendly smile and not let the distractedness of the city get to me. In fact, I was brought up here all along but maybe it's a gene in me that would thoroughly enjoy roughing it out in a farm or something.

It got really fun at night, my guesthouse's owner, an uncle, Yen, brought me to some fun places to be entertained. Not the usual suspects, only serve beer and play pool. Some karaoke. Word spreads around fast in the small town for I only sang 2 songs in one of the places, and the next day, the owner of the other place, a kindly uncle named Richard, heard about it. He seemed to like talking to me very much, and for me, I quite respected him. He's Chindian, married a portuguese wife and studied in Singapore, when Beach Road was still a beach. He told me many stories about Melaka and Singapore that seemed to be almost a history lesson (Remember those we learnt) come to live! I wondered how it was living in those times, it must have been so fun for them. Also met many people of mixed - Portuguese and Chinese descent. They looked very different from each other, but had a unique look of their own - quite good looking with a dark brow and chinese eyes with a sharp jaw. I just wondered how their parents managed to fall in love with each other. One speaks Portuguese with little Malay I suppose, and the villager chinese women only spoke Chinese and dialect. So I guess they did it by looks, hand gestures...but they did fall in love and get married. Love is too complicated nowadays, it's nice to see some couples transcending normal cultural, race or age barriers often criticised by today's media. I'm sure the children will face some repercussions - a good looking mixed Portu-Chinese man in his 40s I spoke too, fit looking and nice, said he cannot find any girl who would want him - Malay, Chinese or Portuguese. So I guess for their children they have it difficult. Being Catholic makes it harder too.

Met Kent E that night too, saw a friendly looking tall guy with sipping a beer by himself at the second place we went to. Somehow felt like he was a kindred spirit. Yen wanted to play pool with him but didn't dare ask. So I volunteered.

Kent E is Swedish and he has bicycled (Can you imagine that!) through BangKok all through West Malaysia to Singapore, and then to Melaka, KL, ...The last I heard (email is good) he is heading to Penang. Then Thailand again and China, Beijing. He has really nice legs. Looks like the new James Bond but much taller and better. I think it's really amazing to just do this, alone, in a strange land. He has some interesting stories that he shared with me. Meeting him, I feel that my life is so much enriched.


Turned out we liked each other's company very much. The next day was a really memorable one for me. It's like meeting someone you have known for years - chemistry? I don't really know how to describe it, but I will always hold the memory of that day in my heart ( yeah can't even begin to write it for fear words do not do it justice ) Definitely a special v-day for me, drinking orange juice in a mosquito-swarm newly opened cafe at midnight with a Swede. How I managed to meet him later that day (with the help of Ah Qiang) is a story in itself! Strangely, it seems that we both met, by chance...then again maybe we were destined to meet. Sometimes, I feel that no one understands me...but somehow I feel that he does, in the way because he is like me, too, the kind of character that is almost an enigma.

And these memories of a 3 night sojourn into Melaka on my own will bring sweet thoughts when I am bothered with work, stressed and wearing my blazer, I will imagine just me and my crocs(heehee), battling the hot sun, walking into the unknown and just loving it. In fact, this trip has made me so motivated to work harder so that I can travel more this year.


==
So who says Melaka is boring? It is only boring if you go with old folks or a guided tour (super boring). For a fun, exciting and relaxing time, I advocate backpacking, in twos or solo if you dare.

Melaka notebook

Just returned from a short backpacking trip to Melaka. Solo trip.
Here are the photos first.


Each time I go to Malaysia, I try to visit "Secret Recipe"...Mouthwatering cakes!


And their black pepper lamb pie!


On the first day in Melaka, stumbled across this lovely place along Jalan Hang Jebat that plays nice bossa nova. Had their signature cocktail with honeydew and midori mix, tasted very nice.


A view of the interior of the cafe - Geographer's Cafe.


And from the outside...


Christ Church, one of Melaka's most famous landmarks. Everyday there are tourists taking photos in front of it. Dutch Architecture.


Up St Paul's Hill, a view of the saint Francis Xavier's statue and the old church.


Went to seek some respite from the heat and found Barry, a curator of the Museum of Maritime Archaelogy. We chatted for an hour or two. He said I was lucky, as he showed me a rare find - this coin! Made of gold, from ancient Aceh. Worth about $1000, wow.


Also in the Museum, met a guy who was a tour guide in New Caledonia. He owns a b&b, was drawing me the directions to his country. So maybe I will go to New Caledonia later this year, together with Vanuatu and Australia. =)


Chicken Rice Ball! A definite must-try. The taste is really special.


In the evening, some traffic near the guesthouse where I stayed. Took it while walking back. Did not realise my camera was on 'firework' mode, so the carlight was taken by 'mistake', a nice mistake though.


Took this in the early morning. The guesthouse has two cats, this is Gina with the backdrop of tour and backpacker resources on the noticeboard.


Another drink! Morning tea at the market near the guesthouse (Eastern Heritage, Jln Bukit China)


The market, quite busy in the mornings.


A quaint little postbox.


Famous pineapple tarts being baked at Mrs Goh's. I brought home a large can for Mum.


View of the river. The old ship reflected is a Ship Museum. Melaka is Museum country..they have 20 museums. I only managed to visit 3 (I find Museums slightly boring)


My namesake from hundreds of years ago. At the Dutch cemetery, probably Brit or Dutch descent. I saw some of the names and ages, a lot of the people died in their 20s, 30s and also, many kids and babies. I guess at that time, medicine could not heal people, like now.


This is Kent E from Sweden. Enjoyed the time we spent for a couple of days.


Ah Qiang, a local Chinese Melakan. Long story of how we met. I seem to have met many people, angels, in Melaka. He only speaks Chinese so I had some difficulty chatting to him. But we managed.


Bukit China where all the chinese cemeteries were. Found this - I think it is a Dandelion? Beautiful!!!


Sunset, Bukit China at the top. Looks much better than this photo. I wish I could see sunsets everyday. Especially with a loved one, I find it romantic. (Another one is to see the stars at night!)



The last morning I was there, cab in the background took me to Central for the bus home. Kent E traveled from Bangkok through Malaysia to Singapore on this bicycle.

Love the place, love the people.

God-willing

To fulfil God's will...

Found a vcd in the "Bible Series" - Jeremiah. With nothing much to do on a night like this, sat down to watch it with my wee brother. Interestingly enough, the role of Jeremiah was played by one of today's more popular and famous tv actors, "McDreamy", Patrick Dempsey (In Gray's Anatomy, Dr Derek Shepherd.) This was a much younger Patrick, and his performance is superb. Couldn't have recognized him though - only the eyes.

I think the story of Jeremiah draws many interesting parallels with today's society, and the show prompts me to look into the Bible and read it again. I sympathize most with the King, Zedekiah - he is not portrayed as an evil and cruel man, but rather, one who goes with the times and also prays, but don't seem to recognize God's voice or messenger. In the end, he repents... but it is too late. Also Jeremiah gives up his family and love, to serve God. Not an easy task as he is punished and in prison... being young, as well... he asks God not to choose him... but he is obedient to God's word. You can say that he is someone who follows God's will. And even dares to speak it out infront of a hostile crowd, people who will say that he is a false prophet, that he is a fool. He is tormented by them, and hurt physically, yet he still speaks, for he believes God's word to be true.

I think that my life needs some of this medicine as well. Like the King, I also seek God. But sometimes, dare I say it, only for my own selfish purposes. I serve Him because I like to... but if He asks me to do something for Him, forsaking my desires, and my family, would I dare obey? The theme of God's will runs throughout the whole show as the fall of Judah to Babylon is because of a whole nation's turning away from God.

What is God's will? For years men have asked of God. Me, too.

I have asked God for His will concerning my life. I have even asked for visions of the future, and small selfish prayers... He has answered every single one of them, even those that does not really matter. So God has been faithful. But if I am asked to speak for God, of God, do I dare to?
And why am I running away, once again, from the position He has called me for?

I remember that once, not so long ago, God said that I will speak up for His people, just as Jeremiah did. Maybe I know these people, their lives and ways more intensely than others. But am I to speak to them? I've seen His words change lives. I am saddened, even disgusted at times by the stupid situations we put ourselves into, all because of superficial emotions like loneliness or in desperation. I wish I could speak, but often I remain silent...not because I don't dare to... simply, I can't be bothered to. After all, does it really matter? Do I make a difference? I remember once when shown by the Holy Spirit, Jong's past sins (That I had to tell him so that he could make a clean break and serve God, after healing and deliverance) ...I told him gently and he was shocked that I could have such insight on his life. Nothing happened after that though...perhaps it is not up to me to change his will, but at least I have spoken about it.

God's will...lately, I pondered upon this. What could be better for us than to follow His will? I am unbelieving! If you know God's will for your life, would you pray to reject it, then choose the life that you want to lead? Sometimes I really doubt that God knows what is best for me! Every path that I've so chosen is unconventional to say the least. Should I take the conventional path in one of the areas He so decides, just to fulfil some part of His will in my life and possibly the lives of many others. Or if I do not choose so, will I come to this path eventually...or totally have something else for my life?

Sigh. (I've also been sighing a lot recently.) Some heartaches are easier to avoid than to live them... But maybe stubborn me wants to live them out... and see my mistakes repeated, as usual!

I know that my Destiny is mine to take, and keep... I am aware of the steps I must take.
Just that I don't want to take them right now? Like Jeremiah, I'm still young. I can wait 2 years, or later... Just let me do the things I wanna do first. Live on the gray line. Walk on the wild side, whatever it's called. Fling around. Try some drinks. Or maybe visit Bovida at St James' first, before I get old. I want to earn more money. Invest more first. Etc... Kinda worried He will call me, before I am ready. What will my response be?

I don't want to be someone great...choose someone else. At least until I am ready.

The best and the worst

If you are so worried about what other people think about you, then why do you act the way you do?

Saw an article in Lifestyle about a movie-speed dating. It was remarked in the 'donts', Don't make a running commentary about the movie during the movie. It is a put-off.

Haha. I hope I don't ever have the opportunity to meet this kind of people. Anyway, I would most probably tell them what I feel.

I think the best thing you can do for your loved one is to...just love them. Girls like flowers, I make it a point to give Jeann flowers every birthday (until maybe she is attached, then I pass on my duty...) I still remember I was asking Sammy who liked her very much (long time ago la) what kind of flower she would like... he replied very conclusively that she does NOT like flowers at all! X! You are wrong there bro!

All girls like flowers. (But of course not everyday, and not those big, embarassing kind of bouquets)

Except those who are allergic to them...(Kie had this bad experience once...dare I mention)
One of my 'toot' guy friends never ever gave his gf of 3 years a single rose. Tsk tsk!

Besides gifts... we all know about the love languages... or what people like to receive and will fall in love with you if you... spend time with them,or help them do spring cleaning, or just give them presents, touch them, haha! Discovering our own love languages help us to better fall in love... if your top love language is quality time, don't marry a doctor who has absolutely no time, and no life (but lots of money so lots of gifts!!!)... ya. I don't prefer that, although I know lots of people who do. Money CAN buy love, at least for some. Driving a sports car can, also... ...

I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to make the best of your time while you still have what it takes. Make money while the time is ripe... don't shortchange yourself. Get rid of all unwanted, unneccessary clutter in your life... reward yourself, pamper yourself by doing the things you like to do in awhile, and always upkeep yourself - dun let your looks and figure run away while you are still in your 20s! Coco Chanel once said, and I never forgot this statement: " There are no ugly people, only lazy ones..." If you have nice hair/eyes/ whatever asset, improve it! Showcase it! I think some people ALREADY look like aunties/uncle pattern... I feel so sad for them... sigh. It's time for Extreme Makeover to hit SG? The best thing to do for others... is to show you care. So love yourself too. Smell nice, look nice, carrying a nice handbag and wearing nice dresses really makes me feel good...the whole day! So yes, we can show we care for ourselves, too... otherwise a few years later, it will really be too late.

The worst thing you can do to yourself is...I feel strongly...not to admit your mistakes. Sure, sometimes its because we are over-confident, or really believe sincerely we are right. But these decisions which lead to sometimes disastrous mistakes are the ones hardest to admit. Have I made a mistake in ending this relationship? Or was it a mistake even starting it in the first place? I have no answers. Life is unpredictable. But what's the point of making others miserable if you keep insisting on things that don't really matter to anyone, just to get your point across... Everyone fails. The ones who fail again and again are those who make up countless excuses, and shifting the blame on others. Seem so childish, but all of us are guilty of doing it. What's more important is to be teachable, learn from it then, move on. What's the purpose if you keep thinking about it, making yourself angry over it, ranting and complaining... Some mistakes cost us money. Other mistakes simply cost us our pride. Is our pride so high that we neglect our faults and only see the faults in others? Personally, people who do not admit their wrongdoings and only shift the blame - or those (colleagues, some) I see, never wanting to take up any duties, only those that are self-seeking... I really personally do not have a good impression of them. Often, they are disliked by everyone eventually, despite the good impression they think they have on others. It's obvious when you are self-seeking.

The worst thing you can do to anyone...is to treat them like crap. Peeved at those who never reply my leaders'/my own concerned sms about their lives... Is your spiritual condition so worthless that you don't even bother to make a reply? To not answer emails, sms...simply not polite. Worst, to FFJ. (New term coined by FL.) Fangfeiji, or to 'put people aeroplane', ie not turn up when promised. Baaaad. I think this is the worst case! When you are assigned to host a particular event and last minute, sms you can't make it, without even giving a reason? Is that fair? You should be so lucky that people are only pissed at you, and don't go to 'pay you a house visit.' We are too, too forgiving to such characters. Pardoning them means that they will only do it again, and again to you...Also being 1 hour late, there is no good excuse for that! The good excuse also needs to come with flowers or a treat at least. If time is money and strictly speaking, pay it back la. Why steal other people's time? What goes around comes around, I always believe...If you do this to people, others will also do it to you in future. Not that we should not do it just because we are scared about one day, some one will be like that also... There is a strange character, a young chap who is a manager at a govt-owned company. Somehow, he always promised to meet me for lunch to talk about investing with me. And we chat well, too. But he always never turns up - don't even sms he is not coming... until hours later with some paltry excuse. Well this happened many times until... I did not even have the heart to call this fellow anymore. It's just inexcusable and unexplainable... and I wouldn't want to serve him as a client too!

I hope everyone will take some time to reflect and not be soooooo selfish. It takes many to make up this world...so be the one who will make a difference in Life.

Observe...

Now I know why they call it retail therapy!

Having done shopping as 'homework' most of my tertiary life, I really shudder from spending hours in malls, shopping - especially for clothes... besides our retail scene isn't much in those days, just the usual lookalike brands and whatnot. Shop like a man - I usually key in what I need to buy on Palmer and then shop for it. Shopping to me is a waste of time, and usually stressful with hordes of people blocking your way to things. But feeling down recently, I decided to stop work in the early afternoon and shop before my appointment later in the evening - I had to get some new, new year's clothes anyways. Plus my work clothes were getting rather shabby. So I went to Bugis after much consideration, knowing that the other places would not really suit my fancy. Voila! There was a nice shop - I had wandered in previously, liking the interior design... and found some knitwear tops to my liking. And...they were having a SALE! I like sales! Especially when... I only buy clothes that are on SALE.

And all the colors and styles suited me to a tee...Bought 3 items at 30-50% off, quite delighted they still had new pieces in my size. If you wait till it's 70%, usually it's the last piece or worse, only L/XL sizes. Felt really fulfilled after that, it's like an epiphany knowing how certain women feel, after buying an item they so desire... and at a good price too! Been seeing some good buys around recently. Apart from this purchase, last week I also got 2 new dresses - one more casual and one for work...As well as a red striped blouse with flowy sleeves which I'd probably sell/throw after the stripe season is over. It's dirt cheap anyways, and the material is nice, almost cotton lycra-ish. Now I'm quite a fan of the brand which I bought. Something like gg5 cutting and pricing, but less common. So far I only saw 2 shops -one near The Office which sells a range of shoes too. I think it might be a spinoff brand of gg5 or ness as their colors and buttons covered in cloth look similar. It's more mature and less knitwear compared to ness anyways. Cool, I like... am anticipating next week where I'd shop at the places I'd be travelling to. At this rate, I think I need more wardrobe space. Seldom buy clothes too.

==

Should I feel flattered or bothered by the fact that I realised... Sometimes, we do not like everyone in the world. Right. Generally, I like everyone - or rather, am 'neutral' to those that I see around and are mutual acquaintances. But some guys are quite off-putting, in a certain sense. I never realised why I do not really like these 2 particular persons, until I thought about it... and it suddenly dawned on me.

Mr X is someone that happens to be in my wider posse - meaning we do have mutual groups that meet together for dinner. I like his friends very much and so talking to them, don't really bother about him, though most say he is kind of good looking. Was out celebrating a birthday when he kept on going on and on about himself, how he was heavily involved in this and that event, and how tiring it was, how much brain power was needed, and gave a sort of contented, but disappointed verbal account of his life... He also badmouthed one of his members, who, coincidentally happened to be my ex-member. I guess it was this that led me to think deeper, otherwise I wouldn't have concerned myself with his issues. I really felt his character was shady then. Being a leader, yet complaining about his tasks...in a way that just draws the attention to himself, like he is doing a lot... spending a lot of time...man! I think I am more tired but I don't complain about it. Mr X basically dominated the whole conversation, not giving any thought to those who might want to talk about more cheerful things...like birthdays. Also it's mean to keep on talking about subjects others might not be interested in, and making the whole group listen to you, and then later wondering what the dinner was about? For Mr X to rant...? Sucks.

Also, I think its unwise to talk about your members impending relationship and being overly concerned, by the way, all of the group know the member, but I think it's outrightly embarassing to say about such... honestly, Mr X's whining is unsuitable for his bearing and age. I was half glad to leave the birthday early (a handsome friend wanted to 'comfort' me), even though I really liked the company of the others.

Mr Y is someone who 'tries to be funny' - tries too hard to be funny, this kind of person; and likes to show off his knowledge in front of others, so that some gullible ones will think that he is very clever. But those really clever ones do not have to talk so much. Somehow I was trying to be neutral to him, but I no longer can... I noticed him one day, ogling me - one part of my body (not the boobs la.) I was quite disgusted. I really tried to keep a distance away from him as I was scared if he tried to 'accidentally' bump into me or keep throwing glances...at that part. More disgustingly still, he is attached, although not for a long time. Even if I tell the poor gf, what is the point? I'm also not going to get myself in this mess... Well, I told a guy friend who was also present. I shall just keep my distance from this horrid fellow. I usually don't notice this kind of thing - am quite insensitive, but I guess every woman who reads it can understand how I feel... somehow, you just know it when someone is ogling you, and if the person is someone you don't like, you will have a very yucky feeling. I caught him ogling twice that day, once when I was...adjusting the...attire that covered it... another time when I was sitting down. So disgusted! I can barely think what sort of nasty imagination is going on in his mind. I think the nickname Jeann gave him is quite apt.

I don't think that all guys are like that... I'm sure there are some girls who might be worse, but frankly nowadays I only mix around with guy friends and my female members. I've lost trust in women, knowing their nature. Especially those who claims to be your friends and then in front of you, pretend to be nice. But schemingly or not, badmouth you. Either they earn too little or they are too fat to like me. Eh? Somehow guys are not like this, you can understand... ...

So just observe the people around you... Some fascinate me. Others, their behaviour is so disgusting that maybe only a mother can love them... sad creatures.

Photos - Ting's shop

Some 'overdue' photos.

Yeah this is me... pretending to be boss' wife... lao ban niang as they call it. With the very retro condensed milk tin used for storing coins... so retro that I've never seen it being used before, perhaps wayyy before my time.








A few days before Christmas'06 (2006 seems to be such a long time ago already), Chess and I made a trip to Ting's shop. Haven't gone there in a while! Well, Chess met his old acquaintance from China... and had a lengthy conversation about wildlife...

Meanwhile the man without a license was awfully scared of the stationary white vespa... Heh. I told him to pose like a model and this is what I get.

I love those retro cups made of tinted brown glass with flower motifs on them...and the various knickknacks used to make up this wall/sink. Spot the tingkats and the beautiful designs...

We also found a collectible of our church - would you believe it? It's a ceramic coinbank of Trinity Christian Centre, Adam Road. Quite ancient, they still use the old logo of a white dove on a blue square background. Ting says if he finds another he will give it to me. I hope, with coins in it...

With Ting, don't know why we are so happy over earning only $10 that day!

Haha!

Karenina

Been reading "Anna Karenina", the book I bought at a second hand bookstore in Hong Kong, Stanley Street. Written by Leo Tolstoy, the same guy who brought you "War and Peace", super-long tome of whatnots, I was a bit apprehensive at this thick one, too. But it was called "The world's greatest love story in all literature", so I had to read it.

Surprisingly, it was easy to read, at least for me, perhaps I could identify that certain themes of love and suffering run in the same vein all through time. Reading it, I felt pity for the main characters, yet knew that their situation was one which they had made themselves... emotions are brought through in a kind of delicious suffering which their lives actually longed for, for this kind of suffering is better, than the worst kind - a dreary life of boredom. And perhaps that is the way it is for me, too.

The way Tolstoy writes it, it was almost as if he knew it, breathed it, and lived in such a time, describing everything from the peasants to the court monarchy of Russia in the 18th century.
Definitely worth the S$6 bucks I paid!

The Hong Kong trip was fun and I have written my own starter guide to exploring the city...to be published here soon... I'm glad that the traveller bug in me is still around, halfway through I ached to take photos of the quirks I've seen, only lamenting that I did not bring the camera, primarily because it was in Taiwan, with my brother...and also because I did not want to be troubled with taking photos, knowing that city pictures often do not turn out as well as countryscapes.

I miss Kie now that we've officially 'separated'... I know I am disgusting but I really look forward each time he drives me home, not only for the drive, but for the company. He has been my faithful listener each cell session I led...and I enjoyed the times he led immensely as well. During our Sentosa picnic I was just trying to memorize all his features, and the usual, silly grin he has that makes me giggle uncontrollably. I hope I am human enough to appreciate all that he has done for me, and never to forget such a nice buddy like him. Ah... I do have some anxiety. Imagine, now that our group has so many cars, I am seldom left with him, or left alone with him all to myself. Multiplying has some emotionally damaging effects! Nevertheless, I am glad that finally he can shine through, I really needed to vacate the position so that someone better than me can stand the test of time. Sometimes I feel as though I don't care about anything, or anyone... Maybe I should just focus on making money... Then again I don't care much for that either... But I know that a little voice inside tells me that I really care. Lots. Although sometimes I really don't feel like, or I don't think I am.

Hong Kong Starter Guide!

Hong Kong....Kowloon Hong Kong...

Somehow that song keeps running in my head whilst walking the streets of HK...haha.
Yes, first time to HK. Glad to have more experienced ones around me, knowing all the good food, good fun and good places to shop. I think in HK, there is something for everyone. So here, my very own rough guide to Hong Kong for first time visitors!

Hong Kong... someone has said that there is a certain magic in the air to make people stay... and once you leave, you are sure to come back.

Shop

First day, shopped around the Ladies' Street (Loy yan kai) and Jordan Street area.
The Ladies' street is so called for its merchandise initially targeting women and their children, but today it sells mostly everything, especially imitation goods. Dvds with the latest shows (Better deals in Msia though), ladies' handbags and clothings, montblanc pens, ties, earrings, chioiserie, doggie clothes and baskets...etc. At Mongkok Station.

For more upmarket shopping, SOGO has 5-6 levels and really good shopping! Love the toys especially the huge range with most not found in Singapore. Sylvanian families twice the size of the Taka display... Many Sanrio products, a remnant of my childhood favorite. Glad I could buy a "My Melody" ruler and the blue-boy eraser for my siblings. Lots of miniatures now that is all the rage here... Chair series! Wish I could get the whole range but I was on a limited budget. Many made-in-japan disney collectibles also, especially toy story, monsters, stitch and nemo. SOGO located in the Causeway Bay area.

Harbourcity has a fantastic view of the Harbour with cool shops, Marc Jacobs and other labels not found locally. Also, M&S had a sale so we got pretty good buys for a low price! The "Fish Street; and Jade Street" near Mongkok station is a fantastic sight to see with packets of fish lined up like balloons in a row.

Stanley market has the usual touristy stuff like jade pieces, linenware, artists' impressions and watercolor scenes, silken thingys, ceramics ... Not for me though I did spot a couple of interesting toy shops. They sell realistic looking toy guns for HK$150. I was tempted but did not dare carry it in. A really wide range of stuff and good bargains available, so it's a must for a first time visitor. Some factory outlets clothes also. A really nice view of the sea and the old prison, plus interesting performances at the village square. Many gwailo eateries. Best of all, avid dog-watchers can spot many interesting breeds. HK is quite an animal friendly city, most people have small dogs and there are many pet shops all around Causeway Bay area. I spotted a cute borzoi with a fancy hat, giant golden retrievers, poodles, terriers and the occasional sheepdog. Even a huge St Bernard!


Food
1. Famous 'lao po ping' wife biscuits found at the basement of SOGO. Also can be found at the Airport, but much cheaper. SOGO b2.

2. "Sweet Dynasty" - has over 60 desserts, all natural ingredients. Must try the soy bean "tofu pudding" as it is called there, tow hua here... Comes in a barrel and you can scoop out as much as you want for yourself. After eating it... beats the one at Rochor anytime. I don't care much for tow hua but this one is really a must try. Also the other desserts are all good, especially the almond 'hu' and sesame 'hu'. Smooth and not as thick and starchy as local versions. They also serve a range of other local food.
The Sweet Dynasty, 88 Canton Road, Tsishatsui, Kowloon.

3. Ever heard of "cha shao bao" in... steamboat? Yes, I've tried it here and it tastes simply delicious. My colleague said it's the first time she saw me eat that much!
Also tried wild black boar meat from Japan for the first time.

The fun part of the steamboat was this fish-paste thingy which came in a cone... we were supposed to squeeze it out into the soup, voila! It became noodles, thick, like udon kind but nicer! I volunteered to squeeze it most of the time hee.

My favorite was the "corn bao" and the beef balls with piping hot cheese in the middle.

Best!

With their really good sales, my budget really counted for a lot in Hong Kong.
With S$170... I bought:
1. 2nd-hand book : Anna Karenina (Classic by Leo Tolstoy)
2. 2 LeSportsac pouches ! I like v much!
3. Korean drama DVD for Jennie
4. 4 Esprit undies
5. 1 Esprit bag, overnighter sized
6. Esprit tee
7. Toy mini motorbike, choroQ brand
8. Disneyland keychain - metal lilo and stitch
9. Sylvanian milk rabbit on baby toilet
10. 3 tubes M&Ms, 1 Poko milk sweet tin can
11. 1 miniature can Asashi, + diet coke + apple juice
12. 1 Victoria Peak photo group shot by professional guy
13. 5 toy horse and warrior figurines for Superdude
14. Sanrio ruler, eraser with roller, Hello Kitty red packets
15. Kewpie baby!
16. Frog head umbrella
17. M&S shirt for Travis
...Amazing isn't it. The only thing I regret? Not buying more!!! I should have bought more Esprit stuff, the Chair toy series... etc etc etc.



And a really, really nice part of the trip - while at Stanley market, we actually saw a movie being filmed! Some police story... the star? Simon Yam!!! He looks good. Tanned dark brown and tall, good build too. We watched how they took 3 takes for a 5 minute sequence eating and dialogue at the police canteen. Way cool!


Spiritedly's dun-miss!
1. Don't miss the MTR - Seamless traffic, people are orderly and well behaved even though there are really lots of people. MTR comes in 2 min intervals, for HK$50, tourists can get a one day pass, really worth it for the shuttle between Tsim Sha Tui, Mongkok, Kowloon stations and even Disneyland.

2. Get the miniature drinks at SOGO's supermarket. Makes great souvenirs, at a dollar plus sing, it's really cool. I especially like the mini Asashi beer, Coke, and various Japanese brands fruit juice.

3. Small, out of the way 2nd-hand bookstore with a good selection of titles ranging from travel, novels, autobiography etc. Run by a Gwailo who has a nice dog and has been living in HK for the last 7 years. Current books go for about 1/4 of the usual price. At Stanley area.
The Chapter House, Secondhand bookshop. Shop C, first floor, Realfound Mansion 30A Stanley Main Street.

4. Their roasted goose meat. Goose is really expensive locally. They do it really nice, and about HK$60 per half goose which is meat enough for 4-5 pax.

5. Must go to the Peak! Fun part is taking the tram up!
Victoria Peak, Lower Terminus. Exit from MTR Central Stn J2. Or take bus 15C from Star Ferry Concourse in Central.

6. Very famous! Chashaobao and beefballs with cheese in them, fish paste noodles like udon you squeeze yourself, and over 20 different soup bases to choose from. Hotpot! Makes a fulfilling dinner after the long shopping time.
Yaugwathei. www.yaugwathei.com Many different outlets, I went to the one at Causeway Bay. 84-86 Morrison Hill Road, Hong Kong. (MTR Causeway Bay Exit A)

7. Japanese-oriented doggie pet shop with grooming facilities and even cafe to celebrate doggie's birthday! Many accessories, especially clothes and pet carriers. Also souvenirs like "The Dog" original booklets, dog charms.
DogOneLife, opposite SOGO.

8. Dessert! The steamed egg custard (yellow) in hot or cold is wayyy too delicious to be missed. Can even 'tapao' home as some of my colleagues did. Also the milk pudding in dozens of flavors: chocolate, coffee, almond etc. A definite must try, we couldn't get enough of it!
Yee Shun Milk Company, 85 Perceival Street Causeway Bay. And other outlets available.

I really enjoyed my trip! Loved the people, the weather, the busy city... especially when I'm not working in it... ...

Friendship again

Overheard at The Office:

"In our line, we really need favor.
Favor with Man...Favor with God."

Latest film ratings:

Death Note 2 : 1 outta 5 (Horrid, weak plot with too many asinine mind games. The first one was good so I guess it's just riding on the popularity.)

Blood Diamond : 5 stars! (Strong cast, beautiful cinematography balanced with the violent shooting and the beautiful landscape. Great acting by Leonardo Di Caprio, Jennifer Connelly and the Djimon guy. He deserves the award, I would say.)

Really excited going to hkt over the weekend. I'm quite assured that some of my colleagues are 'professional' shoppers and eaters, judging by the fabulous lunches I get treated to all the time, I'm confident they can source out the place for the best tim sum.

And every night we are going to scour hkt for the best bargain finds. I'm expecting myself to be an expert after going there. Not like some who only go to a place to sip the coffee there, it's going to be another adventure for me!

I mean, I'm glad I'm excited. Some of my friends travel so much, they laugh at my excited-ness. I'm glad I'm not like them. Boooo. I didn't get to travel last year so the humanitarian trip to Aceh was my last destination. I hope to go back there again someday. It's strange how the years flies by. Was just thinking of taking a church course together with Travis, we coincidentally took the first part of the course together, "7 Steps" and now the "14 Steps" (Just kidding... I don't know what the next part is called) and I realised the first part of the course I took it when I was 1X years old... which is FIVE years ago!!! Seems like such a dreadfully long time ain't it.

One thing good about friendship with guys is that no matter how much time has lapsed, you still have the same 'feel' with them, it's like as though nothing has happened in this space of time. Most of all, they still remember you as you were, even asking you those nuggets of information only remembered perhaps, by those who care. My guy friends are nice that way. Travis, very surprisingly, told me that I "exuded an inner glow of radiant happiness" - or rather, he meant that but did not put it in that way. I shyly said it was because I had to look good for serving, but I thought it was rather sweet of him to say that, knowing he seldom says anything like this... I mentioned it to Jelly, another one whom I've recently re-established friendship with, and he remarked: Oh, I thought you ALWAYS looked like this! Wah...I'm over the moon. Score points again!? Jelly's sweet too, just a bit wooden which I believe under my tutelage, he will emerge...not-so-wooden. Wooden shoulders are better to cry on than metallic ones anyways! Haha!

I've also turned a relationship-guru-of-sorts to those hapless guys. I think they are sincerely interested to know, 'what women want', for the lack of a better term; but they never dare to ask. Or perhaps, don't know WHAT to ask. On the way back with 3 guys, was telling Shiner and the rest how to...woo a girl, or how to let the girl you like know you like her without being horrid. I shared once, during my immature and insensitive days (alright, I am still insensitive...) a guy schoolmate of mine professed his infatuation over the phone. Being really oblivious to his anguish and suffering, I laughed out loud. Really LOL! This guy was quite a joker, and never before hearing this tone of voice on him, I thought he was pulling another one of his wisecracks. He was quite patient and then asked again: "If you don't mind, would you consider going out with me?" My reply: "You are joking, right...hahahahaha..." Looking back, I must have bruised his poor ego for he avoided me for some time. But if this kind of question pops up out of the blue, most females will have no clue that you have been suffering for so long. Perhaps our egos are not so huge to think that there are guys even having the hots for us.

So, a word of advice I gave was to not suddenly ask the poor gal out for coffee, and then pop the question of, I'm interested in seeing more of you, if you want to date me. Very scary for most.

Maybe can follow my darling who just dated me and then... got his way... hur hur hur! No la... he did ask me, too! Sweetheart!

Yeah the word of advice would be... give lots of hints first.
What hints?
More on that, in our next meetup....Also, one of the most important things to make her yours. A factor every gal would agree with me is important... but no guy seems to 'get it right'.

Good day!

Mistakes, Failures, Decisions: The Crab Mayo Revelation #1

Focusing on selfish desires leads to collapse of a nation.

Was sharing my insights on personal issues in the ''MPV'' yesterday. Well being encouraged to blog out my thoughts once again! I'm glad I have such a faithful core group.

Liking crab-mayo (in sandwiches) myself, I never questioned why Penelope always eats the same thing - crab-mayo croissant during our pre-cell dinnertime at 'thousand golden'. Maybe we should have a variety of food then? Its boring to just eat the same thing and drink the same thing every time... Then again...As I was thinking about it, I realised something. It was like an epiphany - like the feeling of when the world floats around you and you have gained some deep insight through a simple thing.

I've read recently that one of the pitfalls for leaders and managers is their decision-making. And what you put into your mouth most of the time, is purely your own choice. So don't sue McDs for making you fat. With so many healthy choices available, the bulge on our tummies can only be blamed for making uninformed or unwise decisions. For me, I am not particular about food, but invariably I find myself only eating certain good food at certain places. Drinks, as well. Kie knows me so well that I usually choose to drink tehs, ice milo, green tea... at the usual kopi shops. And questioning the rest of the folks in the MPV, they too, agreed that they were more satisfied with their usual choice, than trying something new. Jean and Nerf mentioned about the 'diminishing law of marginal returns', Jean noticing that her boss after a nice lunch did not seem to be in a good mood whereas the kopi auntie had simple food court stuff and felt satisfied, perhaps more satisfied. In a world of variety, the simple decisions that we make - even deciding where and what to eat, can shave off minutes of time for ourselves. The way I see it, time is money...So, you decide to pay yourself right now. For me I usually don't take any time at all to decide what I want to eat since its usually bread or 2 variations from banquet. That leaves me with a free lunchtime to blog, read motivational articles and etc.

Many people are divided about this, they claim that it's 'stealing time' from your company (paying your time with $)...But I beg to differ. In my temp admin job nearly two years ago, the quality of time management that I practised... in my 9am-6pm job, I always finished my daily work at...3pm! And the rest of the time (I had to stay put) I rewarded myself with surfing and chatting on msn. Pay yourself with the time you have, it's one of the best ways to survive. It also helped me in my one-year degree studies : I'm nocturnal, and utilising the weekend, I often start working on projects around 10PM, often finishing around 5AM. Then it's to school at 10, so I took a 3 hour nap before that. Basically my time clock was opposite from the rest, but it served me well. I found I could work for hours without interruptions during that period, especially as it was quiet at home with no one to bother me - internet connection was faster, too.

I don't often say "I'm busy", though I am, truly... but I also have large pockets of time which leave me quite bored if I am not rejuvenating. Honestly, when people tell me they are busy I find it quite funny, because to all aspects, I am busier than them, but I see more people, meet more friends, (earn more money probably) and have more free time then them. My Rich Dad is super busy, but he can always schedule you in, as long as you tell him a week in advance. =)

In a nutshell, my ''crab mayo'' revelation teaches me not to look at things only at the surface, and to do some introspective revelation on why am I acting up in certain ways. It's been said that the greatest baseball player of all time is Babe Ruth. Even here when we don't play baseball, we have heard about him. He has hit the most homeruns in his playing seasons, more than anyone in the world.

But what not many people know is that he has an almost equivalent number of failures (failing to hit), too.

I've made a couple of mistakes (admin!) in my work today...it is quite troublesome as I have to go back to the clients to re-sign something I've left out. Bummer. Plus the rain, it makes things worse, slows everything down. Manager keeps laughing at me... perhaps because she has made such mistakes in the past! Well, I could have blamed it on the lack of concentration, because it was truly rushed - both clients rushed in and out, being busy people. Or blamed it on the short time I had to view it... Whatever. I kept reminding myself today that the more mistakes I make today, the more successes I will have in the future. At the very least, I can learn more ''people skills'', like sincerely apologizing profusely to people, not something I enjoy doing much. I can also learn not to make the very same mistake again! (Both are different, by the way.) Initially I was beating myself over it because I had to rectify it (and being time-consuming), quite a bummer. But when I looked at it differently, I became calmer, walked more leisurely, and enjoyed my day a little bit more (only that my toes were wet and sad.) The way we view mistakes and failures are really important for us to succeed in having a better day, and in what we do. I guess everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes the way they react to it is a further mistake. Many relationship mistakes causes us to react within ourselves emotionally. "Why did I even consider going out with him?" "Why did I let him do that to me/vice versa..." I see so many females in church and lesser males, that is the norm actually. But, I realised most of the leaders are males and not females. Why? I don't believe there is a gender stereotype or 'glass ceiling' in The Church, especially since we came from a female-leadership background. But why are most of the leaders today males? ...

I believe the answer lies in our emotional state of well-being. From what I've seen, many females have a lot of mindsets they place upon themselves, believing they can not be a good leader. They also need time to resolve their 'sins' - For guys, I think they can be more focused, when they decide to step forth, not much can hold them back. I've seen more men than women fulfil their full time callings. I've seen more men than women rise up to be leaders in a short time. (Though, I've also observed the ones that rise up fast are not as good as the women who take their time, haha!) In reality most women think they have issues, problems they need to resolve before being leaders, thus needing a lot of encouragement. Of course, no one, when asked to be a leader or a manager, would respond YES! (Maybe except me) and be very enthusiatic about it. But, being a leader also means you can have emotional issues... It's just that you handle it very differently from the rest. You see potential in every person, and a learning experience in every situation. When people question you about your actions, you take it as they need clarification, and maybe it's in their job scope to question you. When people ask you about your leadership plans, it means they are thinking hard about how to help you as well, and they have spent their time thinking about you. So, help yourself by sharing what you possibly can, unless, of course, you totally do not value their opinion. People have said very silly things to me about being a leader/my leadership that is almost laughable, coming from their inexperience. But just take it as a learning curve, they have nothing against you anyways and would probably be glad to see you succeed.

I hope to see more young women taking initiatives for their lives as well. I read something very thought-provoking on a motivational blog, about goals.

It says that if we are not setting clear, concise goals, or we do not set goals at all (Remember your friend who says that he doesn't make any resolutions, it's his resolution NOT to!) that we would just spend our lives achieving the goals of others. The goal of your local fast food chain, of your banker, of your financial planner, of your friends and ... get the point. It's scary if we look at it this way. I'm determined now not to spend my life - I have only one, anyway, to achieve the goals of others.

All kinds of people

I like this quote, but I cannot find references to credit it to the first person who said it. Goes something like,

"Be magnanimous in victory, gracious in defeat."

I kept thinking about it and truly, this word magnanimous being put to action is really hard to find these days. Even doing something simple like a favor, we expect thanks, a treat maybe, at least kind words to justify that act. Then, I think that you are not doing a favor anymore. Sometimes I am like that too, especially when I am busy... but how nice it is, when people tell you after you thank them: "Hey, don't mention."

I thanked one of my client for re-investing in me recently. He even took the trouble to come all the way down to The Office to pass me the cheque, when he could have just told me to collect it from him at his convienience. And when I thanked him, he actually told me in return, Thank You, for the opportunity! A gush of warmth filled me as I read that sms.

Magnanimous and gracious.

To move forward, I often see several organizations and people doing the wrong thing. President Roosevelt said something like this, I am not sure this is what was meant but: If you do something, and it turns out to be right, you are moving two steps forward. If it turns out to be wrong, you are still moving a step forward. The mistake is when you do NOTHING.

And I guess NOTHING is what a lot of people do. What do you do with your free time? Nothing. How are you going to get what you want, be a good leader, or even achieve some form of success if we waste through life, not even bothering to pick up a newspaper that is in front of you for some education. Even some pathetic so-called believers, they have tons of excuses for their spiritual apathy. No time is one. But everyone is given 24 hours in a day, and if cell leaders can accomplish more than you in the same time frame, what is your excuse for not developing personally? Actually I find it hard to have compassion for people who keep complaining and do nothing. The many loser guys in The Office do that the whole day. Saying, they are not aware, they need more info, more time, more etc. Please. When most of the time all they do is surf the internet.

I went to a certain restaurant yesterday to book a table for Kie's birthday. Went there about 30 mins beforehand. The waiter I spoke to was pleasant enough, but he directed me to a lady who said curtly: "No, we are not able to reserve...etc" I just smiled and asked, "Why?" Instead of just walking away. It turned out that she thought I had actually called earlier (which I had not) and was saying she cannot find my name or something. When she realised her mistake, she immediately turned and found another lady to assist me, meanwhile menacingly hissing, "YOU (the 1st waiter) should have said so earlier, why you did not tell me." I so wanted to say, C'mon Lady, you could have asked me politely first before just saying NO, and if you had heard wrongly, don't blame others for your mistake. People's behaviour really shows them up and unfortunately, if you are unteachable, you can only move that far forward. That is why some people rise up to become great managers and leaders and others only so-so, or being stuck in a rut for years, complaining about their situation, but unwilling to move or make the changes necessary to succeed. So what do I have to change in life? Lots.

And I've realised that the best way to move my organization forward is to have the best idea for everyone. Left behind by your own attitude? I say, too bad. Maybe in another organization that values mundane task-doing, you might succeed. Don't blame The Office, your Manager who pep talks you everyday, or any other external factor...be prepared to be a loser guy forever.

Things to do when you're bored

I don't get bored usually, too tired to be bored.

But I get insanely bored...when there's nothing to do.

1. Search the net for knock-knock jokes and memorize the funniest 10 to make you adorable to any kid's parents you gotta be nice to.
Duration: 1 hour

2. Give yourself a do-it yourself manicure with base coat, two coats of nail polish, nice stickers and top coat.
Duration: Fingers 3 hours (totally dry) can do it while at a cafe with a girlfriend
Toes 1 hour

3. Make lists. Can be a breakdown of daily expenses (Calculate how much you spent in total yesterday, including transport!) Or, much longer ones like expenses every month - Always seems like you don't need to spend as much as you do. Or list down all ex-crushes, best friends, etc etc.
Duration: 2 hours

4. Search Wikipedia for historical places and wow people with new information. Try Hamilton, Alaska, Niagara, Iroquoi, ...
Duration: 1 hour per place

5. Make a day where you try not to spend $ (or maybe only $2) or something along that line. Walk backwards the whole day, or read a book from back to front. Maybe arrange all your clothes by color or function instead of just junking it in the closet.
Duration : Whole day!

Any other bored tips?

Have a good day, readers. =)

Everything you wanted to know but was afraid to ask...

Had a nice time hearing people share about their goal-setting for 2007. Realised that...

Guys can be ALL into their jobs...
Girls can be ALL into guys (like sacrifice everything!)
Guys that are ALL into girls are loser guys... AND
That is why there are a lot of girls in church and a lot of loser guys!

Haha. One of my deep insights, don't be offended.
I am embarking on a mission to bring my tall, hunky, cute guy pals to my new cell and church, but first I have to understand their psyche. But I digress, back to goal setting.

I'm glad that I started this week to be really focused in work. My work has a different kind of stress, the kind that make you question 'Who am I', and toss and turn in bed at night. I was asked this question today and truly? I don't know, yet. Sure I know what kind of people I like and things I like to eat, play with, etc but really, who am I? And who are you? Are you offended by being defined by the kind of work you do, or do you take a pride to it?

The kind of goals we set actually defines the kind of people we are...and want to be.

As well as how we are going to achieve it.

I want to be an expert in my job... to know everything there is to know. I do take pride in rattling off facts yet find it increasingly hard to remember them. I guess knowing them gives me a sort of self-confidence. Where book smart and people/street smart matters, here.

Success is not only about material wealth... it's also by feelings and experiences. I hope that in the year ahead, I will find a balance between my social life and the work scene! That in all my relationships, I will find meaning, and fulfilment. I really want to make things better.

StudMuff gave me good advice recently, I am thankful for his - and others' well-meaning concerns. Honestly, if you want to be a friend to others, just support them in their low times and share the energy in the high times. I hate people who just sit on their butts giving good advice with none of the experience or sincerity in their words. These experiences really shape us, to be stronger and wiser, so no matter what the outcome, thank God for bringing us through it! StudMuff said, if we're going through a rough patch, just give yourself 2 weeks (or some other time frame) to be sad and after that, bounce back, forget about it, move on! It makes sense, that.

Love me, love my friends

Love me.

We meet people in life that reminds us of what we should be - or how we used to be, and what we want to be.

Sometimes it's hard being ourselves. I look at working women who have young kids and wonder how they can serve, yet look after the family and earn money at the same time. I always believe there exists a certain affinity between people that you like and want to know better. I recently met a stunning young woman who dazzled me so much that...I want to be like her. If I was a guy I would chase her (she's married though)...Having two businesses, yet always looks impeccable, with a smile for everyone and bright, cheery eyes and the charistmatic-ness found in few individuals.

Beauty is not everything, I have seen how men are attracted to less-than-pretty faces because, their true personality really shines through. In fact, I realised many pretty faces have so many problems that it is better to avoid them altogether. Same for the pretty boys. But I digress. It is important to look good-put together and stuff, but not to obsess over every part - perfectionism gets us nowhere and some genetic qualities are impossible to change anyways. Despite everyone saying I look good with thi height and size (buying clothes IS a breeze, if not for my choosiness) I have insecurities about certain parts of my body that I always wished to change, if I could. Even considered surgery... only later as I grew older I actually realised I am unique and if I change, I would only look like the commoner gals, which is really not-beautiful when it's common. So, I grew to like my 'flaws'... Though all of us are on the journey of looking more fab each year! I really invested in certain skincare products which I felt had great improvement, so maybe next on my list would be a real teeth whitening or something like that, if I can afford after all my bills.

And I do have a fetish for manicures. It's so nice to have beautiful, shaped nails. Especially at work! Makes a world of difference.

==

Really nice to spend a large part of New Year's Eve and the day with pals. Especially those who specially make time for you. At The Church, we went there for the first time, the place was wonderfully big - and we were the first people to go up to the still-renovating roof garden. Haha! I guess they thought holy people won't bother to try the doors that have a 'no entry' sign.

Travis called shortly after the service, I was kind of hoping that he would. After all, the time we spend sharing together is so minimal considering that we are always in a crowd. Shiner came, too...and I thoroughly enjoyed myself with them and the members, watching movies till dawn. Felt as wide awake as Hammy the red squirrel, the days of rest did me good! Always wanted to stay up the whole night but no one bothered to keep me company till yesterday, hoho! I really treasure Travis, all these years. It is my secret wish to hug him to bits! And shock him in the process, haha. He's more than a friend (nothing scandalous meant here) with his nature of going out of the way to care for me...sigh. I'm really blessed to have all these people around me I know, but me being me, I always forget about them after a while - then I'd feel super guilty for doing that.

Being in a relationship, it's typical of me to forsake all and devote myself to the guy. But I guess it's shallow that way - to neglect friends only to look for them in times of doubt. Friendships are only waiting to happen, to blossom, if you let them. Despite the differences, (and the sheer idiocy of some people), I think we never know what surprises are in store for us. The unlikeliest of people may be the best of friends. We are so 'unsuitable-looking' in real life, Travis and Shiner always go out in ugly sneakers (New Balance), track pants, tees... I do wish that they can wear like cool stuff, it seems weird for me to go town with them, togged in this attire, but hey, I don't care. (In Travis' defence, he has been looking for 2 years for a loafer-type shoe but simply can't find, so it's the sneakers so far...) And, I do make friends with all types of guys, gay, toot, IT, design, teachers, whatever. It's the girls with long hair and guniang taste I cannot understand.

Friends!

True friends, I love them.