first scrapbook project

Oh, I finally gave in to the scrapbooking bug!
After resisting the urges to walk into those scrapbook shops, I finally decided to start on some small projects what with the 'long' weekend and as usual, wanting to stay far from the madding crowd. Most of the stuff I bought from papermarket, ribbons from prints, I had the glossy accents previously. The mini photos are printed in shalom colorlab at brasbasah. Have to wait for a day but I'd say it's much much better than instant-print. If you want the photos to have gorgeous color!

I got the idea to do 'flags' or 'buntings' from greenweddingshoes, here are some buntings on wedding cakes and it's a nice celebratory feel and really easy to make, just cut out triangles and paste it on a ribbon. I made different ones...


So here are the 'triangles'. I'm not a sucker for measuring everything so all of them are different sized and I love the vintage paper. Using copper colored alphabets. And the cardstock is already having the paper pasted on it...comes in pack of 2. Used one for bestie project, our photos of melbourne last year... and another to remember me-and-Alex-moments.

Oh, not forgetting...glitter! I think glitter is such a lovely thing to use! Reminds me of school days where we get glitter everywhere. I'm quite stingy to buy the expensive branded glitter so I just used this tub of gold one I bought for mom's usage. I also like the flowers and had to literally restraint self control and only chose one pack to buy!

Doing the layout... I realized that putting two photos is a challenge. One is just nice actually. But of course it was two of us. I printed many spare photos also (Photo Uncle likes me, he charge me half price so I can print many many!) And I also realized that both the 'people' in the photo must be of same size. Somehow it just looks weird if one person is 'smaller' than the other.
The 'flags' with the glitter and the words, they will look '3d' which is a look I like, if folded on top and later a thick ribbon is added below.

The thickness will add extra dimension and then they will fold upwards and curved out by itself.
Next, a background for the word 'road'. No space to make 'flags' this time, but I did use 'flags' for both words on the following project.

I used a brown paper, crumpled it, pasted a tag on it and the silk ribbon over, once again creates a 3d effect...

Here is the layout, almost complete. I changed the flowers and added some vintage flowers at the side to look more interesting. And the photos looked better when the one with me is below instead. The flowers at the side (yellow and pink) as mentioned, are just normal scrapbook square paper. I put the 'glossy accents' on the petals, looks like glue and has shiny effect.


Closeups of top and bottom half. Butterfly donated by sister. Black diamantes is from those handphone sticker, words on top is a decal, also donated. Haha! She has an enviable trove of scrapbook materials. There's basically no space left ANYWHERE. My style la.

How it looks like under daylight and flourescent light. Strangely yellowish although my light is white.
Another project idea... using decals and two flag-lines.

Waiting 50 years for love

http://www.divaasia.com/article/11267

A love story that had its beginnings in 1953 Hangzhou, survives personal and political upheavals, to come to fruition decades later. Liu Zhihua reports

It was in the autumn of 1953 that Danny Li met Yuan Dibao in Hangzhou, Zhejiang province, and fell in love. But fate intervened forcing the pair to live on two different continents for 54 years. Miraculously, in May, the couple came together again and got married in September.

Their story became a hot news on Chinese newspapers and TV stations. Netizens declared their love "was the purest in the world".

"It was like a dream. I never expected to see him ever again," 83-year-old Li says.

Li was born in Beijing in 1927, to a French mother and Chinese father.

At the age of 24, she became one of the youngest teachers of Zhejiang Medical College at Hangzhou, and became well known for her mastery of four languages - Chinese, English, Russian and French.

In 1953, Yuan Dibao, a handsome 25-year-old freshman entered her life.

Yuan was the class monitor, and the best student in Li's Russian language class. He was brilliant and diligent, earning full scores on most quizzes and exams.

"He was a good person, very nice to others. All the students and teachers liked him very much," Li says.

As Li began to learn more about Yuan, she discovered they had a lot in common. Her warm feelings for him evolved into love.

Despite the prejudice against a relationship between a teacher and student, they grew close.

Only Li's parents knew what was happening. Every time Yuan went to Li's office, ostensibly to ask for help with studies, they would arrange their after-class dates.

The city of Hangzhou was witness to their sweet love story.

Yuan would often walk Li home and stay for a while. Her parents were open about their fondness for this polite and charming young man.

While Li was in paradise, Yuan was torn between happiness and guilt.

"I sensed he was holding back something, but didn't pay much attention," Li tells China Daily.

What Li didn't know then was that Yuan was married.

Yuan was already 25 when he was finally admitted to college in 1953. He was considered well past the age for marriage in his hometown, Gulangyu Islet in Xiamen, Fujian province. Arranged by his family, he married his sister's friend.

A year went by but Yuan said nothing about his marriage to Li.

In 1954, before moving with his school to Chengdu, capital of Sichuan province in Southwest China, he finally summoned the courage and told her he had a wife - a woman toward whom he felt morally responsible and cared for until her death.

Li was shocked. Although she loved Yuan, the couple broke up.

"I had no choice. We couldn't build our happiness on the misfortune of another innocent woman," Li says.

They never saw one another after that.

In 1956, Li left for Lyon, France, with her mother. The father joined them in 1962.

Before leaving China, Li wrote to Yuan informing him of her departure.

To her surprise, she received not one but several letters over the next few days. The couple then began to keep in touch through mail.

Letters from Li reached Yuan's workplace, and he kept them at a relative's place to hide them from his wife.

"His letters were a great comfort to me in those days," Li says.

Her new life was hard.

She not only struggled to survive in a society that was strange to her and refused to recognize her diplomas and certificates, but also experienced culture shock.

Li learnt shorthand and typewriting, and finally found a job as a secretary in an international trade company.

Meanwhile, Yuan graduated and started working in Xiamen.

In their letters, the couple seldom mentioned their hardships. Yuan shared with Li his happiness over becoming a father, and Li sent him tins of baby milk powder and clothes, knowing that those were days of scarcity in China.

When the "cultural revolution" (1966-1976) started, Li's letters began to be returned. To avoid causing any trouble to Yuan, she stopped writing to him.

But Li could not forget him.

"I could not start a new relationship, although there were many who knocked on my door. I found his love for me most earnest, and felt no one else could match that," she says.

In 1976, as soon as she was sure it was safe, Li wrote to Yuan's workplace as before. But that letter, too, was returned.

She didn't know Yuan's workplace had changed; he had informed her of that in a letter he managed to send out in 1973, but it never reached Li.

The next contact between them occurred 45 years later, in May, 2010.

During the Spring Festival (in late February), Ouyang Luying, Yuan's third daughter-in-law came to know from a relative (the one who helped Yuan hide Li's letters) that her father-in-law had once dated a beautiful foreign teacher.

"When he told me the story I was deeply touched; my mother-in-law had died in 1994, so I encouraged him to write a letter."

Although Yuan often visited the places in Hangzhou that he and Li used to frequent, he never expected to resume contact with her.

Ouyang awakened all his deep memories. He stayed up late for several days to pen five letters.

Besides six short sentences expressing his wishes for good health in Chinese to Li, Yuan also wrote in English to her relatives lest she was dead, saying that he was a student and friend of Li and wanted to know where she was.

He sent out one letter every other day; if he didn't receive a reply to any of them, he decided, that would be the end of the matter.

At last, a letter arrived from France.

With trembling hands, Li opened it. Seeing the familiar handwriting, he thought, "Thank god! She's alive!"

The envelope contained a photo of Li and a three-page letter. In it Li took Yuan through all that had happened in her life.

In 1974, nine years after their last correspondence, Li earned the equivalent of a Master's in Chinese and soon got a job as a Chinese teacher at Jean Moulin - Lyon 3 University on condition that she would earn her doctorate within 10 years - a condition she fulfilled in 1979.

She retired in 1992 as an associated professor from the university, and then worked as vice-president in a non-profit organization that helped the university's Chinese students.

She remained single and lived alone in a house her grandparent left her after her parents died.

On May 1, she saw Yuan's letter waiting for her when she returned home. "I didn't reply immediately, because I couldn't believe it was true," Li says.

She sat with his letter in the yard from noon till midnight. When the next day brought another letter, Li was finally convinced this was no dream.

The couple started exchanging letters as before. Sometimes, with help from Ouyang, they would talk over the phone but preferred letters as Yuan suffers a mild hearing loss.

"Ouyang called me 'Danny Mom' during her first phone call. I had never been called mom before. I can't describe how I felt!" Li says.

A month later, Yuan invited Li to Xiamen, and said it was up to her whether she wanted to live with him or just visit.

When Li flew to Xiamen, Yuan and the family met her at the airport. Yuan held a bunch of 55 roses.

Li accepted Yuan's offer of marriage, and they registered their wedding on Sept 21, the day before the Mid-Autumn Festival, traditionally a time for family reunions in China.

Yuan's sons held a big wedding ceremony for them on Sept 26.

Li and Yuan now live in the third son's house. Every morning they take a stroll on the beach, hand in hand.

"What is gone is gone; we want to be with each other for the rest of our lives. I have poor sight, and he has a problem with hearing.

"I'm his ears, and he is my eyes," Li says.

things that impact us

I've been meaning to go on a solo trip recently, but the daily 'important' things in life hinder us from just taking off. I was looking at the calendar today, and x weekend I signed up for a class, there are other female things to do like hair appointments, face appointments and the like... it seems that the only free time is 3 weeks later! XXX. I find it amazing how we like to fill up our little bitsy pieces of time by thinking of things we 'need' to do... and not things we 'want' to do. I forgot to make time to go to the gym even, or to take a day for myself to read a book at the beach, or even catch up with the old classmates and ex-colleagues i've been meaning to. It's been ages since I did any of those.

Daily, I see somebody going through a pretty rough patch in his life. I don't dare say I will be able to survive what he's been through. And some days are pretty rough I can imagine. Despite that, he shows enough consideration to not vent the frustrations on the people around him. And I can't say that for most people. Isn't it ironic that when we break into pieces we use the pieces to cut the people around us who mean the most to us? Why we we get hurt, we just become so selfish and make loved ones hurt too, or just make them look bad? I think it's that side of us that becomes vindictive. Oh, 'pity me, for I am hurt'... ... It's too easy for us to behave that way at times. If only all of us showed more consideration to make other's worlds a more beautiful place to live and work in. I'm actually impressed and touched that despite the rough patch, we can still make the work environment a lovely place to be in, and give each other strength to last yet another day in this monstrous world.

revelations

Some days are good, some are bad, some are really bad.
I just want to say that today is a day of revelations and I'd try to describe it, as difficult as it is.

After doing some soul-searching these few weeks, I think I offer words of wisdom at times to grievanced souls, surprising the both of us with the depth of spirituality. I wish I had done more, but because of my personal turmoil, all I can offer are words and ears.

And I'm touched by the way people share about the ones they care/cared for. We like to show bravado, dismissing the tumult of emotions when we face some tough decision-making and growing through personal hardships. I once said 'you care much because you love much', although it was only on online chat, I hope the person knew that I knew how it felt to struggle with such decisions although I have had no experience doing so thus far.

Bad English aside, I hoped to convey that I understood not only the choices made but the 'struggling/wavering period' before making the decision.

And I said it again recently to a man who had fallen on hard times but found that he could love again, and getting hurt again seemed like the end of the world to him. How scary is it to trust someone again and to let your bleeding broken heart be mended, not knowing the outcome? He cared much, that's why he hurt so much. Isn't that so?

It takes courage for a man to cry in front of a girl. Not only the action, but the sheer honesty and willingness to take that step towards releasing the pain, the past, to hopefully let go of the past.

And I also found out the reason for my dreams. It's not often you have vivid dreams where it's so specific and you remember them for a long time. Although the dream might have a bad outcome it could also be a blessing in disguise and an affirmative word to the hearer.

My dreams are coming true...

Oh, how scary.

During the 2 weeks of the insomnia-and-nightmares/weird dreams period, I had some vivid dreams, the rest I couldn't remember, only flashing scenes of the people in it and the feelings. I dreamt of many friends. Strangely, 2 of these dreams actually came TRUE.

My penpal had told me that he was afraid his leave would not be approved to come back to his hometown, and delayed indefinitely due to the nature of his work. But I had a dream about him BEFORE he told me that, I dreamt he signed off at the stipulated time, and was carrying his backpack, meeting his bro happily at a mamak shop, and I was sure it was in Oct. I told him about this dream. He just got news that his leave was approved and will be back next week, Oct.

I also dreamt about a friend of mine who had just gone through many setbacks recently - a bitter divorce, loss of his assets due to it, his grandparent whom he lives with passing away... I dreamt that he called me during christmas season and I could sense the upliftedness and cheerfulness in his voice, he asked me what is a suitable present for a young lady and I could guess that he's happily attached to one! I gave 3 options and he chose one (I would not have given that option in real life, however...) Imagine my surprise when I told him the dream (I told him in early Oct) and he smiled and chirped that he is recently attached, a girl 8 years younger than him. In September, too! Around the time of the dream. It's really quite scary to me to have this dream come true - and then the other one for my penpal. Thankfully, they all are happy endings.

I also dreamt about other things, I saw myself in x location, I dreamt about other people and certain scenarios. I think I will keep them to myself for now, or try to forget unless it has to be mentioned. Like some mysteries in Life, why I dream about such things and why they come true, I have no interest in finding out.

Too many times, I am tempted to ask 'Why?'... 'Why God?' 'Why this why that.' Why why why... We are Generation Y, all the time asking Why.

But I've come to realize I don't really need to know why. I used this theory while addressing an issue last week. I told the certain person who caused the issue, 'I don't need to know WHY. I just need it to stop.' And it worked like a charm and I'm glad I spoke out truthfully with the love of God. Also, I made a stand this week, it was rather difficult to make given the state of my mind, but deep inside, I'm glad I did it. I'm changing little by little, and it's for the better.

accidentally

3 years ago, I wrote a short story with a remarkable plot.

In fact, now I marvel at my maturity for writing about such a controversial theme, being a christian, often we do not touch on such topics. I've re-written the short into several forms over the years, but the gist of it is that it begins with a car accident along a highway in Canada. A couple was found - the guy died but the lady survived after some trouble. It seems like a tragic accident but in reality, the guy was married to someone else and the infidelity was discovered only upon the accident and his death. Then, the lady was diagnosed with amnesia, a form of it (retrogade) due to brain injury and this made her only able to remember him, and their love. It's a love story which makes you think about the thoughts of all the characters and the difficult position they find themselves in. A father who has a daughter who can only remember one man. A wife who thought her husband was faithful. And how about the 'true love' story we have always hoped for. Different kinds of love, questioned.

I'm not sure what prompted me to write the story. Sometimes we think too much about life but sometimes life is stranger than fiction.

Everyone always wishes to be someone's true love story, like the movie 'Enchanted' which I think is pretty realistic - both prince and princess realizes their true love is someone... well, more suitable than the alleged match. And sometimes when a relationship ends, it doesn't mean that they don't love each other. Love hurts. It's a nice feeling to have someone caring for you but at the end of the day, you have to spend the rest of your life with the person. (If you love someone who is in his 60s, it's only twenty years though. Haha!) I can't proclaim that I am full of life experiences, being at a funny age where I am neither young nor old, neither full of youthful enthusiasm nor really jaded... Maybe at the age where if I decide to take collagen and vitamins and exercise regularly it will save me from cellulite and auntish-lookingness. But we judge too much. What if the love comes later for some, or in the form of a much younger/older person? What if two people who are very different and have no chemistry still can make it rock due to shared ideals and a deep love? For my generation, it's often thought but not said aloud: If it doesn't work, we can leave. Yes, either before or after marriage. I think we are both wise enough and selfish enough to know that we have options unlike past generations. Some people make bad choices when they were younger, why judge them for righting the wrong... some people are just not meant to be. I really don't know right now if I will choose never going to Europe to have kids.... you know those kind of choices. As a singleton said, "I think I will still WANT to go to Europe after all!"

But when it really comes to those kind of choices, it's really tough.

Especially when it's your whole lifetime in front of you.

amnesia

Well, after having another more massive panic attack which reminded me of my childhood asthma days, I went to the doc's again for more (effective) stuff and a dose of good christian advice.

For those interested in medicine, you can wiki (I'm not sure how accurate though) Lorazepam and Zopiclone. I had a depressive period some years ago without treatment, yes, all creative people have the 'blue zone' surfacing in instances; so, I'm not that keen to go through it all again, being older and wiser. For Lora, it makes me very subdued, sort of sad-looking and sometimes wanna burst into tears and sometimes actually doing so. For Zopi, wow! It's what a super extrovert would look like. I couldn't stop talking and looked so upbeat and friendly and... there was no stop-gap from the brain to the tongue, just said what's on my mind. Like outright 'nos' to people's requests very undiplomatically, and I keep laughing to myself, at my own jokes. But both have really scary side effects that I'm getting. (I do hope I'm not sleepwalking!) Well anyways, some nights I have 3 dreams in a single night, sometimes I kick, and been muttering too. It's all very tiring and actually interesting, in a morbid way. Luckily because of the meds I don't remember any of them now, just a slight impression of the feeling I had.

A friend wiser than her years told me she, including all my dear friends, saw how I loved him and had taken this relationship seriously (unlike the rest, I am so sorry) so she told me, at the end of the day, it's up to you to choose your own happiness. And I think it's true. I've been blessed by having some say too many guys' attentions in my life (so not true), but at least the ones that mattered were mutual, and understanding and having real solid sincere guy friends does help me in my general outlook on relationships and not being too clingy or insecure. In fact, and I've known this all along, I have quite a high self-esteem, most books say it's a good thing compared to a low one I guess. So, in a way I can't empathise with people who wallow in self-pity, I'm quite condescending really, or understand some things that others are going through. It's not so good in that sense, and I am trying hard to feel more and on the other hand, not to think so much. Which I've been told to by kindred spirits who can read me. It's nice to be understood you know?

Because most of my life, my thinking is so unconventional/unique/weird that I felt so alone and misread and misunderstood. I didn't really care what others thought due to my high self esteem, but inside? I always knew. And inside, I always wanted to be with some one stable, solid, normal, decent. All I asked was 'God please make him tall' and some one I could chat the night away with. I never liked being unconventional anyway, it never benefited me in anyway (no $ to be made here) so don't praise me for my quirky thoughts.

I'm glad for the amnesia side effect because I honestly don't remember saying things I said, short term memory loss. And other shocking things I did or heard. It's too drama really. Please let things be back to normal and good and happy.

sick

I've always wondered why I have panic attacks triggered, not what they are triggered by.

The inability to breathe, regurgitation of food or saliva and tightening of chest is truly scary. Being unable to speak coherently as well, it's most frightening and you wonder 'Am I going to die?' At the point of time it truly feels like you can stop breathing and k.o.

I had childhood asthma, so have weakened lungs. It's recently been proven that people with asthma have panic attacks but I sorta knew it all along.

Guess it's time to pay my GP another visit. Sigh. Last month it was allergic rhinitis now I just need something for anxiety. Signs of aging or a mental/physical deterioation. In any case, not that good. I hope I can exercise more, maybe keep my heart rate up at least twice a week. Being naturally quite thin I fail to foresee looking sporty and healthy does not equate to being so, inside.

Now, if anyone can do something about my nightmares...

hurt

It hurts, it really hurts.

I thought I was loved. I thought things were okay - maybe some expectations needed to be managed, some things could be worked through. After all, we had shared similar goals in life and common ideals. But I was mistaken. I never knew he could turn out to be such a monster, making mountains out of molehills, accusing me with things I have not done and left me, with a bad memory, of sad times. I'm very tired. Many times my feedback has gone unanswered. He never bothers to hold my hand. Or care if I'm cold. Or even call me by my name. Isn't that the basic fundamentals of being in a relationship, that two people are supposed to care for each other, their hearts open and attuned to each other? I remember way back when he knows I was whimpering, he immediately rushed down to see if I'm okay. Then later, the panic attacks came when I was very upset and choked and could not breathe because my lungs were too stressed, but he did not even bother to hold me or wipe away the tears. Then later, he just went fishing and left me in my sadness.

I've really tried to hold the fort, to be enthusiastic about the future, to want to share something good. I've been holding it in for too long. I'm so tired. I really don't want to shed any more tears. So I should move on, just take it as a bad dream, that all these happened, that it was not resolved but I have to accept an abrupt end, where no one wants to commit to anything.


I never knew it could hurt this bad.

nightmares every night

I've been having nightmares or weird dreams every night since... well, since the time around this ghost month started. I've always been sensitive and maybe this time round it's due to being too sensitive, too. An author told me (I hope jokingly) that remembering my dreams means that I'm going to die soon. Am I? The truth is, I can remember them for about an hour or so after I wake up and not immediately before. And then I tell whoever happens to be in the vicinity of me, and then I forget about it and have another nightmare. Even in Melbourne I dreamt there were people suffocating me and stuff. I shall document them here.

Last night's.

I was asleep on a stranger's bed, the house was kampung-like and had a friendly atmosphere, could be in Malaysia, a small village. I was very tired, jetlagged feeling, and just curled up on a bed in their hall which they were kind enough to lend me (the family who lived there.) I sensed there was an old man who also rested on the foot of my bed and paid him no attention, was too tired. But I opened my eyes from time to time and found him lying beside me! I immediately called for help and the uncle owner of the house 'apprehended' him, he was a frail old man... I too, used my hands and twisted his foot till it was facing the ceiling...

Then I drifted off to sleep and the next scene was in a school or community of some sort. I spotted this guy who had once traumatised me years ago but now I'm over it. However, he was wearing a large thick red hoodie in the dream and was menacing enough to make me spot him in the distance and I made my way to find an escape route (not going past him). He was wearing a hypocritical smile, the sort that he wanted to portray that he was chillin' out and having fun but inside, he was full of anxious thoughts and perplexing nerves. The sort I could see right through. And that's all I can remember, until tomorrow night.

feel like writing

I just felt like writing so much today (Yes, I'm amazingly fantastic and can multitask while still doing top notch work!) I wrote letters to my Ches, email buddy for years and to my best friend in Melbourne. And I still felt like writing so much that I just opened a Word document and wrote and wrote. I guess after so long of not putting pen to paper or... finger to keyboard, there are words wanting to get out.

I miss writing and receiving letters. I remember in our school days, we used to write little notes on perfect crafted stationery - suzy zoo was coveted for its rarity and quality... and the usual disney characters and the minimalist muji paper. I think I wished that I could write letters, always, yes, despite the current trend of short messages on different platforms. I think love letters eschew something that can be immortalized, something to go back to when times get rough. Of course, no one wants to write and write and have their letters go unanswered. But at the very least, anniversary and birthday letters and cards and what's written in them are something to cherish.

I've always wanted someone to appreciate my writings or at least feel a connection to it and if I had the choice to express myself, it's always more coherent in words than in actions or maybe saying out loud. Been told today, jokingly or not, that 'I think too much'. Well, I find that a keen observation. I'm always deep in thought in my otherworld, my utopia, my dreamland of a place more idealistic than the current one we are in.

But after all, thoughts are just thoughts and words on paper say more through meaning than words uttered and forgotten.

to aussieland and back

I recently had a lunchtime chat with a male colleague and they always want to know what's on a woman's mind. As always, it comes down to asking, would I like a rich man? Of course, I answered. You could see the disappointment etched on his face, typecasting me into those materialistic Singaporean worker lady. Of course, if the question was phrased another way, IE: 'If you could choose to be on the richer side or the poorer side which would you choose' - I think the answer would not be met with such judgmental criticism. But actually, both are the same question if you think about it really... ... and I later explained that it's more of the character, the "nengkan" kind that I am looking for and hopefully have one here... =) If the guy was rich, and then became bankrupt, and then rich again, bankrupt again - the high risk takers, I wouldn't like to be a partner of those kind. I couldn't take the stress and unpredictability of it. I guess most of us are looking for stability in a relationship - but he can't be too boring either. A little adventure and romance would be good.

Most of all, he should be able to help me fulfil my dreams.

What are my dreams, the colleague asked, curious.

Well, I said my dreams are to.... travel the world! HAHA!

Jokes aside, it's nice to do some traveling while I'm still young. I'm not really into travelling when I'm old and graying. And definitely not keen to travel with excess baggage of diapers and kids in tow. I think it is really draining... I think this mentality leads to me being a spender and not a saver... it just does not work both ways!

So the big trip this year (Big as in expensive and long duration....) was to Melbourne!

Went down the Great Ocean Road, a place I did not get to visit last year. Also saw more of Victoria Market, and shopped loads more. Camberwell Sunday Market was a new find and it does make it to my list of must-go-places next time round. Best of all, was the catching up with friends for me and relatives for The Boyfriend. Hey, first time attending a 'western' wedding and I must say... it's almost as boring as the Chinese dinner. I think I'm truly not a fan of weddings... Although the dancing was quite fun (more to digest the rich food and to keep warm.)

It was pretty cold this round, so cold that the ski season in the mountains was extended a further 2 weeks. I think I prefer temperature of above 10deg, there were mornings that it hit 5, 7... and it was torturous getting out of bed or even going to the toilet for that matter! I loved it though that I didn't sweat, could wear the same pjs each night (it feels clean!) and the frosty winds closed up my face pores and I could wear makeup...and non waterproof mascara...and lipstick... and look great! Over here it's more like... hopefully the makeup doesn't become an oil slick due to the sweat and heat.

I think the thing I love most about traveling is that it's kinda like an escape from reality. Or rather, the unpleasant aspects about living in where you're living in. For those from the city, a countryside or kampung (not too extreme kampung) holiday would be nice, vice versa for those countryside people to come to the city for a bit. We can be who we want to be, the nice side of ourselves as well - feeling happy as larks on weekends and also shopping for unique items that can't be found here adds to our happy feeling. I got boots for A$15! Beat that! And a whole spring-summer collection from Valleygirl and Witchery! It's always good to go away for a while and I'm always thinking how blessed I am to have been to the places I've been... it was tough saving up for it and making plans, but the experience gained more than makes up for it. I shall irritate everyone with my faux Aussie accent... Lovely!

pre-holiday stress?

Oh man, I'm going to Melbourne (Yay!) in a few days' time and just when I thought that I had finished up my pile of work, some interesting opportunities came in. Of course, I gotta work on it, who can say no to more $$$? Tee hee. It's not only about the money, it does give me an immense sense of satisfaction to 'matchmake' the right jobs to the right people, and having more 'higher' levels of jobs to fulfil this time round, it's also a fun learning experience for me to talk to those 'bigger' people. But, the pile is scary and I'm really feeling quite stressed these few days.

It's interesting to see how different people manage stress. For me I recall my previous 'breakdown and chillout for a day' and I think everyone needs that timeout once in a while. Most people become depressed due to external circumstances not within their control. Mostly due with relationships, if not then work-related financial issues.

For me, I become depressed when, thinking that I can handle whichever situations, I realized after that I actually can't, and then get down that I can't. I'm not that ambituous or capable but I always feel that I don't want to 'short-change' myself by wasting time slacking when I could spend it on more profitable pursuits. I always felt that I'm intelligent but I have wasted away my time, too much, galllivanting around, being sociable, in the past. And now I need to focus.

Anyway, it's always a comforting thought to know that anyone can excel even though he/she has a limited skillset. It only takes a little bit of thick-skin to ask people for help, opportunities, and recommendations and I'm glad I have done so.

Meanwhile I need to start packing...

lookalikes combo - BACK! By popular demand

One of the most surprising things about the World Cup is that we discovered a North Korean player that seems separated at birth from TheBoyfriend. Hmm... should we say about 98% similarity?


PRESENTING LOOKALIKES! Jeng jeng jeng!
Back by popular demand, here are the quiet celebrities in our midst. Heehee.

Please don't take offense if your genetic combination resemble any animals... ... you are still beautiful in God's sight...

Our resident bachelor who always manages to turn heads in The Church, Jelly. He's a good friend, good guy!

Some gals told me that Jelly looks like... Tay Ping Hui!


When did Tay Ping Hui act in a period drama??




Buay tahan, both also like to pose for the camera...

There are other guys in The Church who look like celebrities!
Jonas Brothers?
Stephen Chow?
David Cook?

Yes! Yes! Yes!

(the one on the right)




See...

[R], on the right...

This fellow.... of late, a stunning crooner and 'hardworking' boy:



May consider being a famous actor and Producer in the future?

Woo, did David Cook walk past me?

David Cook lookalike (must use a bit of imagination)






Can't see the resemblance?
Let's take a closer look...





Exactly like David Cook style on his album cover.


He sings, well too.

Clone's brother who looks like Kim Rae Won! Hot hot hot HOTNESS!Last seen on a cooking show at 11 pm (Channel U?)

Sorry girls, he's taken and in Malaysia...

Well, people have commented that I do look like a celebrity too... in certain angles...

Presenting to you my Rui-En pose...I also have a dimple...

Or maybe after some thick makeup application, can pass for 'Little S', Barbie Hsu's sister.
TMNT was our childhood favorite... the show and the toy. Everyone in my era was well acquainted with the four 'mutant turtles' and we all respect the great 'Master Splinter'.

Guess who?

It's Kie.

If you look deeply into his eyes... somehow, you feel like it's looking at Master Splinter!
Now over to the local scene...

The famous or infamous pastor from City Harvest, Sun Ho...And guess what, at the next table, we have Architect looking like a dead ringer for Kong Hee, her husband!

We have both Pastors in our circle of friends, how cool is that!!!

On the ground scene, I spotted a guy who looks like a younger, thinner, Pastor Bryan.

Oh yes, he said jokingly that he can 'takeover' if Pastor Bryan is taken ill. Bad boy...

But I think our favorite lookalike has to be...

Master Splinter.

self-sabotage

I just don't understand the sort of people who like to ... for lack of better apt words, 'sabotage' themselves. Lately, I've been seeing a lot of such people who come from the 'insurance' or 'financial consultant' industry. I've many good pals there and know of superb people in the field. But the ones who have worked there for around 2-4 years and are top in sales, and now, tired of running, they want to come out, just irk me to no end. Some are rude. They answer rudely to all your queries and are quite haughty... for instance, a 'senior consultant' with about 3 years of experience, he really spoil my day after I gained him an interview with our client... he said... other cos can offer him a higher position... is that all they can offer? In the first place, it's still interview stage, in the second, I've already explained clearly to him about the opportunities and he was the one who wanted to submit the application. Not only wasting my time, he proceeded to tell me off when I told him he only has a 'few' years of experience. He screamed off his head that he has had 'extensive' experience.

Sorry, but 3 years' does not count as 'extensive' to any HR Manager. For this fellow, he is definitely burning his bridges with me, and thinking too highly of yourself will not get you anywhere, seriously. I really can't believe the other fellows, whom I also thought were good and also helped to gain them interviews, one of them carried along with him, a plastic bag to the interview. Ummm... I don't know any one of my friends who would do that( I hope not)... of course, he did not get the role. Another one started off by telling a story to the Head of Department and HR Manager... and tried to gain control of the interview!

It's really maddening because we are on their side, trying to help them to facilitate this process, even telling them what to wear, what questions to prepare for, etc. And then they pull this sort of stunt. There are too many from the same industry with a similar pattern that I have to say I now no longer share a positive attitude in helping these people find their dream job. This has not happened over a long period, in fact it happens over a few weeks, and they all have stellar sales record which is something that will gain them an interview for a sales position. But other than that, they lack the basic life skills to 'make it' in the corporate industry. And then they blame the managers, blame the people, blame the world when they should take a good look at themselves. Anyway, most of us do this self-sabotaging act to ourselves as well. Not at job interviews, but at other aspects of life. Sometimes there are something we want very much in life, and there are steps to fulfil it.

Like if you want a higher management job at a corporate co, you HAVE to study again, take some certs, etc. Or if you want to change to another line as well, sometimes. If not a real cert, then at least talk to the people in the industry, attend some helpful courses, do something with your time that channels your dream into a reality.

It's the same for people not wanting to be 'left on the shelf' - male or female. Though the male have better prospects, even though their good looks may wither, they still can find a mate, or use $ to import one lovely girl from our neighboring countries... for the female, as it is often quoted, after 35, all hope is gone! So I think being proactive is good. Being proactive means asking your friends for help. I have female friends in their early 30s who ask me for help and don't you think I will love to help them? Of course, it takes a humbling of self to ask me also, most likely I will 'suan' them first... but if I do think a guy is suitable and he is open, I will make effort.

Being proactive means changing yourself. Sometimes the most basic things are so glaringly obvious... Like the guy who brings a plastic bag to the interview *cringe*... it's so obvious to any one of us not to pull those stunts, but you may have a glaringly obvious unlikeable trait to the opposite sex that you may not notice. So maybe you can ask those 'true' friends for help. I'm sure their comments will help you tremendously in your personal development.

Guys always like girls to be feminine. (Except for the rare ones, mostly angmoh, that like tomboy looking girls like my friend J)

One of my guy friend had a really bad impression of one lady, our mutual friend. Due to her facebook photos... In most of those photos she has, she always have those gung-ho and 'attitude' poses, for fun, of course. But he said it was disgusting and too manly-scary. I was quite shocked at his strong comment because he is a really nice, easygoing guy and I least expect a comment like this from him!

Guess she scared away the more maidenly guys. But I think a lot of people judge you from your photos, not on purpose, but they happen to chance upon it. In fact, some of my other guy friends have commented positively on some of my female friends in their group photos with me, and even drooled at my lovely lady friends. Well... I try not to encourage it but at least they can take it that they are being attractive to the opposite gender... =P

urban slang made easy

Some new words have been making their way into my speaking dictionary lately. Heard of 'chillax'? It means a slackerish, laid back, hang out and no stress feeling. Haha!

Chillax, chillaxin', chillaxing.
Here's how to use 'chillax' (chill + relax) in a sentence.

'what ya doin? '
'Just chillaxing at East Coast, dude.'

'why did you write/say/do/that...'
'chillax la bro... I was only joking'
'finished all my work today, now time to chillax'

'Cougar'

More commonly known as a much older woman who prefers the company of younger men,
It can also mean a really hot older woman (Also known as 'MILF')
There are also 'pumas' , who are younger cougars (30 plus year old women with slightly younger men)...seldom used though.

'Don't turn around but there's a cougar sitting behind you.'


FTW

Means 'For the win', is a more positive outlook than the opposite 'WTF'... In gaming terms it means something else but popularly now it means either a positive encouragement or someone has done something good, or 'best'. How to use:

'Man Utd bought Bebe for 2 billion bux. FTW!'

'Bedok bak chor mee. FTW!


PWN (pwned, pwn-ed, pwning)

Either means 'owned' in gaming terms ... (pwned) due to proximity of both letters being next to each other on the keyboard and misspelt by a programmer, it has grown in popularity to use 'pwn'.

Locally, it also means a gunshot sound, albeit a rather cutesy one. Try sayin 'pwn pwn pwn'. You get what I mean.

And if you have spotted some weird hairdos on teenage boys recently, it's called 'The Bieber'. Similar to our bygone eras of 'The Crewcut' (square top head popular with military personnel), The Armani' (a very cool dude hairstyle which needs lots of wax or gel to spike up the top and sides are kept short but with sideburns) ... Let me introduce to you, 'The Bieber'.


Justin Bieber's hairstyle, a front-swept fringe. This can also be a girls' hairstyle. Other popular hair guys include Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, Adam Lambert but none as uber cool as The Bieber! I do see many many teenagers having this style now. Sign of the times!

Turtle

A photo for the weekend. Guess where? It's at Ion Orchard! Taken by Sherman of Rebirth Photography.

sittin' on the fence won't get you nowhere

There's an important question that all of us have to ask ourselves...

As you know, there's always a gap between the rich and the poor. If you could choose, would you want to be in the richer half or the poorer half?

Seriously, without a doubt, I think everyone in their right mind would say, richer half, of course!

I feel that many people shortchange themselves when it comes to choosing this path though. In many circles of devout believers being rich is almost obscene - or for that matter, being rich because of your success. I think that if you got it fair and square through your persistence and working for it, you should be proud of yourself for pushing yourself hard where others do not or can not.

But choosing this path takes sacrifices of course. Longer hours for some. More stress for some. Investments of time, money, effort, etc. Some of which may turn out to be futile. The road may be challenging but then again, definitely an exciting one. We will meet all sorts of characters and have the rose-tinted glasses pulled off our faces when we see the true nature of some... many people choose to take it easy though and just float through life. I am one of them. Thinking back, I can be too slackerish at times, although I always believe in working smart, not hard... I seem to always hit the minimum self-target that I set and then while the time away. In fact, I believe I am wasting quite a few hours of productive time each day.

So I hope to put the time to good use and churn out something good.

I also realised that those who score all 'A's in school may not turn out to be as successful as those with a killer EQ + hard work + smart work + connections + x factor in life. You see many models and actors are good looking but often the 'crowd favorite' or the most likeable ones may not be the most good-looking ones. Even the top sales representatives. Everyone has the perception that the ladies have to be very good looking or the guys very suave. But often it's not the case. There is some magic formula and I bet 'sitting on the fence' is not part of the equation.

Being in the 3rd month in this job, apart from this month, I have managed to hit all my personal targets. Yes, I did put in effort to do so. Any newbie in the industry would have been proud of my achievements. But compared to the go-getter and gung-ho attitude I used to have in my previous sales job, I think I lack that which I used to have, and I need that to go the extra mile. It really takes a go-getter attitude to talk to people when you're not in the mood or when they are not nice to talk to.

Compared to my new colleagues, I am still ahead. Some of them did not manage to close any sales in the first month... it's really God's grace that I did it so easily and thought it was so easy! I know better now...

Time to move my butt off the fence...

Picking up where it leaves off

A ghost from the past contacted me this week.

I guess I have been waiting for this to happen sooner or later. I mean, I felt like it would happen someday, there was a silent wish in my heart for us to be on good terms again.

After all, he was my best friend and we used to waste all our available PH... spending time with each other. Somehow, in the last months, I thought that I had found a 'replacement'. But the replacement could not 'make it'.

You know those kind of friends, they are the special ones. Those who actually bother to ask you how you are doing in the various aspects of your life. Those who you REALLY look forward to meeting and will save up little funny tidbits of your life to share with them. Those with whom you can take long midnight walk and chats and no alarm bells will sound for 'trouble'. In a nutshell, you can be transparent and share heart-to-heart.

Those kind of friendship that I always hope it will last a lifetime. But being realistic, also know deep down that it's kind of difficult.

I was happy he contacted me and remembering those cherished moments, glad that he remembered me too. It's too much to hope for a good outcome, but this little moment lets me know that I can have a bit of wishful thinking come true once in a while.

learning to deal

I happened to see entering a cinema, an old schoolmate, we were in the same CCA. She was barely recognizable but I recognized her with a shock. She was one of those 'A' class girls, the elite in school who could all make it to whichever JC they chose. Back then they never thought of choosing a poly, the only question was 'which JC', how times have changed. Now the brightest ones choose poly. They were the ones who took Higher Chinese, a foreign concept to me, and some even took something known as 'Chinese Literature' !!! While we not so intelligent beings played basketball after school, watched movies with our 'steads', and sat at taka square exchanging information with similar beings.

Anyways, the most shocking thing was how she looked.

I remember her as quite a pretty girl. She was about the same size, but, oh how horrendous. She was wearing an ill-fitting shapeless white tee, ill fitting jeans, and a severe bob haircut not unlike the ones we had in secondary school. She looked like an auntie from afar and I wouldn't care to be associated within her age range.

I tried to look for something flattering to be honest, but could find none... gosh.

It's funny, the way things pan out for some. We would assume that those elite girls would do well in life, as expected, being smarter, landing better jobs, attracting the same social strata of husbands, making smart choices about their investments and career, etc. But somehow through the years, and as we age, that does not paint a full picture. I remember we all rejoiced for one of our schoolmates who had to repeat a year of school. She became a manager at her early 20s when most of us were still figuring out how to deal with things.

Many who weren't doing so well in their secondary school do become good at some point in their career, take TheBoyfriend for instance. You don't want to know his PSLE score... if you really want to know... well... it's hilarious...

Others seem to do well all through school, but only have a mediocre career and other measures of success would show they are doing only passably well. Hmm.

I just thought that things aren't what we expect after all. We never expect to become friends with so-and-so, and thus when the friendship turns into years-long comfortable as a cup of warm tea and long car rides kind of friendship, it is somehow, always a surprise. For many of my friends, we seem to be strange bedfellows. Our friendship was always met with quizzical eyebrow raising and a wondrous look, like, 'oh really? You are friends with her?' look; because, no one had expected that such a nice thing as a beautiful friendship could come out of a chance encounter. Or maybe I just don't look like the kind who would befriend such. (Sadly, as I later realised, most girls would brand the kind of guys I find fascinating as friends 'boring like a piece of cardboard', 'weird' or 'very weird'. But they always bring me to interesting places and share fascinating facets, eat ice cream happily while chatting, and are ALWAYS generous, so I really can't agree!)

It takes a little bravery of the spirit to open oneself to share with these beings, wondering if anything could come out of it, saying something and hoping for a response that, you know, strikes all the right chords with you. But so frail are the human relationships that seem strong yet crumble at very minor things.

Like in (human) relationships and for 'those whom we dated/crushed/had insatiable feelings for', I've always marveled at those who kept in good humor with their ex-girlfriends, and all of them gals to boot. I've always asked them, 'how do you do that?' I never had such luck and perhaps a big part of the equation is my fault to be honest. On the other hand, I had always wanted to casually chat with "those whom my affection happened to fall upon in past moments", or even just sms-ing to ask them about their latest happenings. The curious side of me wants to know what's happening in their life... have they settled down, maybe what kind of girls they settled down with...

Growing older means we have to deal with these things. In corporate terms, this is called 'conflict management'. It seems the ones who do it really well are rewarded with higher positions and don't we all want that sometime in life? But first we must learn how to deal with our inner child of not wanting to grow up and be in a fairy tale where all seems to work out exactly as what you have hoped for.

Unless, of course, it's a dream come true. =)