The Fraud Case, continued.

The irascible agent called me. 4 times on Monday, but I was overseas and gleefully advised him to call me the next day.

Well yesterday he did, and horrors! He asked me to 'do him a favor', change my statement to "I accidentally forgot I signed the form" (which is so obviously not signed) and talked to me for about half an hour in an upbeat voice, trying to make it seem like it was all in a day's work.

He told me that he had to hit this Persistency Award thing - more bonus $ perhaps, and said that actually I was being insured for free while he paid and could I bear with it till Jan or Feb?

I said, no, I don't want this thing, even if its being insured for free. He was pretty convincing (Can win the Golden Horse award for best performance) and almost too sincere that I was slightly taken aback. He cajoled me to help him, using emotional hot buttons like, he has a family to feed, he needs this income.

Actually he did not know that it was the Head office that called me for the investigation, thinking that I had written in to complain. He was taken aback when I sternly said that it was a Senior Exec who called me in. I added fuel to the fire by saying "They have been investigating you long ago." And I asked casually how many others did he do the same thing, forge the signature, thus cheating the company by getting more bonus out of it. He replied tersely, "Haha. That's for me to know." (Surely, this kind of statement means that its many people...)

The point that made my blood boil was when he said, "Remember I told you before, you can depend on me? Now I need your help. Remember, I once helped you too when you were in financial difficulties." Wow! Like when? The only time I had 'financial difficulties' was when I didn't/couldn't pay for the policy and let it lapse... which I wanted to anyway. I did pay him the lapsed amount after a few months for nothing. So it should be that he owes me, not the other way around. The way he tried to use these emotional words on me was too much, but trying not to antagonize him (He knows where I live and work and all sort of other details), in the end I said, I'd think about it... (Helping him to lie and keep his income.)

I have no intention to do so, and I think if the company found out that he has been asking me to falsify my statement, he would be in deeper trouble. I shook my head at his stupidity!

So, I have until the end of the week to think of something to say to him that sounds, un-antagonizing because I don't want him to go crazy and blame me for his woes and creep up my doorstep one day! Actually I have no complains in this matter because I'm being insured for free (although without my knowledge and against my free will) but he is cheating the company, not me. I doubt that even if I help him, the charges will be waived. And if I help him, isn't it like being an accomplice for embezzlement, without any returns?

Do it for God if you believe in Him.

If your heart is for God, everywhere you go, you will find Him. Everything you do and say is for Him. If you focusing on God and you believe in Him, wonderful things will happen.

Christmas party plans are underway and all of us are so excited after the trial run yesterday at the Newton condo. We found nice spots to 'travel' in and bring our friends too. Just really tying up some loose ends now. We make a great team! It's heartwarming to see almost everyone chipping in and doing their bit and more...Giving stuff, making and ordering food, inviting friends, etc. What's the spirit of Christmas if these are not done? =)

After the Angel sharing at cell, realised many interesting happenings in our Core. Members were blessed by strangers - one member got a Cold Storage discount (unheard of!) just because she paid in cash, and many other strange stranger blessings to.

Well... I got the chance to be an Angel.

Went one day to have lunch with Col and somehow he, last-minutely, could not meet me. Since I loved the Thai food there and already set off, I just decided to eat on my own. As I was approaching the overhead bridge, an uncle standing at the foot spoke to me in Chinese, something like, if it's safe to cross. I wanted to just pretend I didn't really understand and walked away, but somehow I just stuck my head out. Zoom! came the cars, and although there were people jay-running, I told him, better not cross here. Too dangerous. He hesitated for a long time and told me he had to get to the other side to take a bus to Thomson Medical Centre. It was only then I looked back at him and realised he only had one leg. The other, was a fake one, so barbie doll beige that it looked scarier than if he had none.

Then in my halting Chinese, I told him to take a cab and pulled out $xx bucks from my purse. He, in the Chinese way, flatly refused my money, saying that I was an office staff, I needed to eat, blah blah. Then I told him I didn't need this money, but the way I put it in Chinese (Wo bu xu yao qian), sounded as if I was filthy rich, haha. Then his eyes brightened and took it. To cut the long story short, he told me how he got into this situation and he lives alone, and asked me which Deity do I honor. I shook my head and said, no, I go to church.

He then brightened up again and said that he used to go to this church in Redhill but not anymore as it was too far. Wrote him the Chinese service in my church, plus my name and to look for a certain Uncle there... he mentioned that he would come by after Christmas. Wee! I hope he does, sincerely!

Another little testimony, God immediately answered a few of my small prayers, showing that He cares. Sick and coughing my head off and couldn't sleep one sleepless night. Hoped for a better day, plus I'm quite traumatised about coughing like that as I had childhood asthma. I prayed that the cough would stop and laid hands, cursed the sickness, etc.

And I was shocked. The cough - the long, hacking, painful cough that had plagued me the whole night... simply disappeared just like that. My throat was still feeling really painful and itchy like I wanted to cough, but each time I opened my mouth nothing came out. Still can't believe it.

I slept a peaceful sleep that night, but not before I thanked God in a silent prayer.

Mismatched

When you really love someone...


Reading "The two sides of love" (Smalley/Trent) bought from the campus crusade sale. Was looking for a book about relationships to fire up for the new year!
Went there with Jean and Kie...Initially picked up a book "Before you live together" thinking it was about, preparing for marriage...but it turned out to be for people who were considering cohabiting. Heh.

I've been attached for most of my teenage life, so somehow I think can safely spot 'unhealthy' our 'out-of-balance' relationships... I've been in them myself. Actually, I'm someone who is fiecely independent, though I do need a man's hand to guide me through and give me some comfort when I've taken ill, like in the last two days. It's cheery to know someone is hoping you'll recover soon (so that you can go JB with him) ...makes you feel better faster.

But it's when the relationship you're in becomes off-kilter to almost everyone, then it's time to take a good look at yourself, and each other. Some relationships turn this way, very fast. I remember one of my christian leaders telling me (about this ex-boyfriend when we were still together). He cautioned that, the ex-boyfriend puts me on a pedestal. True enough, I did feel like I was some sort of goddess. But what excellent treatment he gave! Paid for the two of us through everything, bought me little gifts, never hesitated to treat me super-good. Of course, also his upbringing had to play a part as Indonesians were known for their chivalry...and also their possessiveness.

It got a little strangulating when we had to talk for at least an hour every night (And I was a busy busy student) and had to perpetually sms him my wherabouts hourly. Not forgetting the nightmare when he got angry when I wanted to catch up with MrBestFriend, wanting to throw our ring into the Sentosa river, and when I was out with MsBestFriend he called me more than 60 times (I just refused to pick up.) As time passed it gradually became an unhealthy relationship even though we were suited for each other. I don't blame him now, perhaps it was his first, and perhaps he loved me so much it became this way.

Residue of the past still remain, though. I only remember the good parts so when my poor tired darling does not live up to treating me like a goddess, there are whispers in my head saying, X used to treat me better. He always ..... .... not like this one. Plus ongoing concerns from other parties make me a bit confident of my self-worth.

Of course I am trying to erase this.

Was really shocked when my posse and I realized that a loser guy in our acquaintance was now attached, after harboring some emotions for a girl in our posse. We secretly wondered what did the girl see in him! Well, he is someone who is very complicated, to say the least. All of us cannot believe the stories he told different ones of us about his seemingly mentally unstable parents and his long foray into distant lands. I believed he was somewhat of a crackpot when he told the girl in my posse that he had to go to the beach to meditate and let God speak to him about their relationship! Of course, probably he listened to his flesh more than anything else. Recently, he penned love sonnets for his new catch. I just wonder if we had the chance to tell her what transpired, would she still think the world of him? Or blinded by true love, choose to be at her side till death doth them part. All I can say to him is Thee mind is warped.

There is a lack of gatekeepers in this area, and all too often we blame our folly on others. If we were hurt, we blame the leader from not warning us. We blame pastors for not preaching about such, or friends for not telling us from the start what a menacing creature he was. Sometimes, no one can talk you into (or out of) anything. Sometimes the warnings and cautions were there but we fail to take it seriously. I would not be glad to say 'I told you so', rather, before the thing even has a chance to start, why let it happen? I think I'd be glad to honestly say stuff if the other party is teachable, I will voice my opinion. Some in my posse are already telling me stuff I cannot even believe took place. Sharing a spoon? Constantly playing and rubbing? Sitting on each other at bus stops?

Thankfully I was not there to witness the spectacle. My members are concerned, too. That a sincere member might be lost. So many have said, she has changed. Even worse, stumbling a younger member by what they are doing. Or even causing duress to the public by their actions. If this is true love, then I don't think you should invite everyone to witness your intimacy.

They ask me why I refuse to even give a word of caution. I replied that, hey, if the person is not teachable, what is the point of saying it... (everyone else is talking about it anyways)

But if she remembers clearly, before they were attached, I had told her exactly what I had thought.


So my friend, please consider carefully your ways. You are not doing it for me, it's for everyone else and dare I mention God, too.

The Fraud Case.

I forgot to let the Holy Spirit do His work.

Read "The Cross and the SwitchBlade", reminded me of what I'm going to set out to do but somehow forgot along the way. Isn't it amazing how God can remind me of my purpose by simple things. Lately, the Holy Spirit has been ministering to me in so many ways I am softened by His love, actually.

Someone forged my signature.

Quite amazing because these are stories you only hear about from hearsay or watch on drama serials, but unfortunately (for the forger/fraudster) my signature was forged.

And not for a million dollars... Haha. Although I'm sure it will shock some of my friends if they knew I had a million dollars in my account. (don't have lah, for illustration purposes.)

I had signed up for an insurance policy from Prudential in '05... a cashback plan where yo can get money back every year, yet saving for your needs. End '05, I had it terminated because I was unsure if I could keep it up (Having just started in The Office) and I was also short on cash. I was told that I could stop it for a year and then restart it again, and initially agreed to it. However, later on I realised that if I stopped for a year, I could not have this chance to stop it again, I would have to keep paying for 20 years more. Not wanting to be caught in this situation, as who knows what might happen in the future, I decided then I would terminate it and informed the agent likewise.

A year later, last month, I received a GIRO receipt from the bank stating they have deducted a sum for Prudential. Thinking that perhaps they might have made a mistake, I then called the hotline to enquire.

What ensued was that somehow, I had signed some documents despite not even seeing my agent this past year. I had to go down to Prudential Towers to check it out, and was warned that it was a possible fraud case. I was shown some documents I've never seen before, and then asked to verify my signature. It was almost laughable. Whoever forged my signature, did so with a photocopier. It obviously looked photostated, exactly the same.

Well, I think one agent would suddenly have his banking account frozen and then hauled to a police enquiry. Although I did not wish to press charges (Since I had no loss anyways) they said, even a fraud of $10 is still a fraud. This guy's career as a financial advisor would probably be over from now on. I heard that he had recently reached the 'million dollar club' in the company, quite an achievement there. But one also wonders , how did he reach it?

All in all, it seems sad and wasted that just an act of folly could destroy all you have been building up for your life. Just because of two photocopied signatures, you singlehandedly destroyed all those long hours of sales talk. It's not in my hands now, but in the company's best interests to persecute him as an employee.

I wonder whether his upbringing could have contributed to such factors, but I guess it's up to himself to decide on such a course of action.

So, if anyone of us are in this situation, I urge all to think twice. Even doing such small things as stealing office supplies, I hope it will not lead to a greater mistake. It's better to have a good night's sleep knowing all your actions are aboveboard.

Starting early this year

On the topic of love,

Recently I had the pleasure of acquaintance with a lovely couple that seemed just about right for each other. J was a lovely girl, and M reminded me of Kie but none of the goofy-ness. He looked sleepy-eyed and talked slowly with witticisms sure to make you burst belly-laughing. They were close and easygoing in the way that comes with time. During the course of our conversation they both said that they believed in true love. But, after she had gone home and it was just the two of us, he said that, it's just that... she was not his true love.

It's easy to believe in true love when you haven't found it.

Oh yes baby, I'm starting early this year. What? Christmas shopping of course. Now everywhere I go I keep my eyes peeled for great, affordable, unique, beautiful gifts/giftwrap. Went to Expo book sale with Manager and Daiso and got almost 30% done, which I felt were good buys. So far spent about less than $150, including my posh handmade cards. Getting a headstart this year means that I'd be free to not-go shopping and feeling stressed about what to buy. The second round starts later this week on Fri. One more book sale at Expo plus a sports brand sale (Okay, it's Adidas) and... Loreal though I suspect I'd be buying more stuff for myself than anyone else. Still, managed to get nice titles last week, and just swooping off some others this week. I've already addressed and written my first batch of cards to pre-clients, so I'm left with clients, family and friends which, I think I will not be overstressed for time unless I plan to do something over-ambitious. Last year - every year it's always a rushed time for me, I hate squeezing with people at Orchard...

Last year I hand painted all my christmas cards... and made fudge for the first time.

It's going to be minimalist this year with really unhurried, beautiful wrapping for the books and gifts. Actually quite fun to hum around looking for that perfect ribbon and that nice wrapping paper and tissue slowly... I'm enjoying every bit of it.

It's quite sad when some people don't believe in love -in true love, and they say it like they mean it, jadedly, without strong emotion. For those who do, it's the little girl and boy in all of us that hopes for something better in life. Not just a 'power' marriage to better your life for money or biz, but a real, lasting marriage based on such a strong emotion that scientists cannot even define how it works and what triggers it. Many of us dream of a fairytale ending, and for those who do, I hope they find a happy ending where the rainbow ends. We still have what it takes!

The Proven Way to Avoid a "Loveless" Life

I may not provide the answers, just a direction to the Way. keke.

I've been subscribing to many free e-newsletters marketing various products, mainly to read up on the way they word things and how I can better put my tutelage of MY mother tongue into good use. Oh, and I don't usually open my mails (cannot afford spending too much time emailing, busy worker meeee) unless they have really GOOD titles. This one, from a writer of a self-help romance novel, really caught my eye. It says "The Proven Way to Avoid a "Loveless" Life". Wow. Being the skeptic that I am, I really wonder if this proves to be... well, accurate. Over the years I've learnt to distinguish the good eggs from the bad ones, but almost all the time, those gooey eyed gals turn a deaf ear. I have guy friends by the busloads, so I do know my stuff. I've saved one from a near heartbreak by immediately typecasting (and rightly so), her amour-to-be as a jerk type. And not long after, he went off chasing another skirt, and is now attached. I said to her most recently, if he loves you and is sincere he will wait. Well... less than a month is probably a track record for some.

Then, there are those type of girls that are clueless around men. Not telling them flirting is ok, but, being and moving in a feminine way, sometimes coquettish, pandering to the guy's ego, etc... Those girls who have only sisters and never had a best male bud are clueless so often I take it upon myself to educate them. I've seen types that I call "GWLV" - Girls who (easily)lose (their) virginity. Honestly! take it upon yourself not to be near those desperate, lusting creatures... not even sms naughthily with them. It's really dumb, and I'm sure they are worth more than that, but these girls are so easy, even I could easily woo and win them. I can tell for sure which are the GWLV types. Usually desperate with a capital D, they are so thankful any man would want to date them, usually those no-good types with body odour or some other unspeakable factor that would not endear them to the female population at large. These girls practically fling their whole lives at the feet of such slobs and to tell the truth, I don't think much of them either. Is such a worthless guy worth it, I ask. They quickly become an item, and, as if I can predict bad outcomings, quickly tire of each other. It's the guy, who, after having such an ego-boost, usually dumps her because now, he is full of self-confidence and ready to take on the world. The girl gets the short end of the straw because she loses out, loses everything. Once again, I'm not wishing this to happen to anyone but it usually is the case with such types. Also gay relationships. Always see a not-bad-looking one with a goddamn ugly one... turns out the ugly one is like domineering over him. Eventually he becomes "one-kind" too, just that all his super-nice and diplomatic friends are too sweet and understanding to tell him so. Me, I'd just disappear and not wipe up the tears. After all, I've said my piece already.

So, some hard questions from spiritedly's harddrive that you gotta ask yourself. Both parties included.

1. Is he a psychopath?
Some people have no feelings, it's bad if your would be husband turns out that way. The percentage of people being so is increasing rapidly. To find out, observe him - does he have any friends at all? How does he talk about his loved ones, any emotion? Etc...

2. Is he on the rebound?
From personal experience, rebound can be 1 month to 3 years depending on the scary EX. Well, just take the timing with a pinch of salt but don't over obsess over it as most of us tend to do... Having just broke up doesn't mean he's not ready, he's just giving excuses (haha), vice versa as well!

3. Is he ready/Are you ready?
For guys, rule of thumb is I'm ready when she's ready. For girls, rule of thumb is... I'm never 100% ready. So there...

4. Is he suitable for you?
While I've seen unbelievably unsuitable couples together, generally, he must suit you somehow... Don't wanna be long winded on this man.

5. Is it the right timing for both?
One of my friends got attached like the month before he was about to leave for oversea studies. Of course he'll be back, but it's a tough road to take. Many of my oversea good catch guys would rather not the girl be in this position. So they would prefer not to fall in love. Of course you can't control love. But if things get hot and heavy after the 2nd date, you need to keep things in perspective.

6. Does both share same values and beliefs in life?
This is the most important! I believe so... it's the fundamental of any relationship, even friendships. Deep ones.

Thanks~~

Tenacity -not so easy to find nowadays

A general satire about recent things I've been impressed by.

I've been told I'm someone who can read into the future.

Well, maybe not in the psychic sense; but I do believe I am a visionary.

Sometimes I already know how some people's future will turn out. Others, I'm not so sure. There are some people in my life who are destined to a lifetime of labour. I think of them like horses, or cows... just slogging up and down from day to day, tired out, and probably die that way. There's nothing wrong with that, I suppose they are just made like that. Others' future seems not so certain - in other words, they can either make it or break it... depending on what they choose right now to do. I'm amazed by some of my office colleagues - 'loser guys'. Not being mean here but when your income is based on sales, and you spend the whole day - the whole week surfing the net - what does that make you? Honestly, their behaviour gives me entertainment in the office. It's almost as though you can read their mind. One even commented that they should go to a particular church in Expo to network and find prospects!!

And go to the motorshow to talk to people... harebrained schemes. Honestly, I can't see their future in The Company right now.

As Singaporeans sometimes we don't dare to speak up. And those who do, are quickly annihilated. For me, I don't usually have a strong stand on things though I do get irritated easily. When I see things going bad I guess I just take a far off observer's point of view rather than to go and mingle and get my hands dirty. Different strokes for different folks. Sometimes when we do things out of goodwill it is often miscontrued. So, to save the heartbreak and to focus on those who are really teachable I shall just let some things run its course.

I've been inpsired this past week by certain extraordinary people who inspire with their lives. One, a guy my Rich Dad knows. He has been working for a certain airline as an engineer for 20 years and recently retired. The flabbergasting thing is that he is actually colorblind. Severely colorblind...He sees the leaves on the tree as though Singapore is autumn all year round.

So when they had a pass-out examination, he was required to just sort out a bunch of wires. He honestly said, he can't do it. He could only do it if he was told beforehand which color belonged to which... I think this is tenacity in the face of 'disability'. Which makes me scorn the loser guys I see daily, because they are young and incapable.

Another one is my church friend, a lady who works in a voluntary government organization. Not many would choose to work in places like this because of the really meagre pay. Her story is shown on the Yellow Ribbon's True Life Story this week. Carol is about 2 years older than me and long time ago I remember we prayed for each other. She mentioned to me that she was an orphan and I was rather shocked by that, because I don't know any orphans, not in Singapore anyways. Well... her story is aired this week and I heard her speak in the blurb, that her Dad left the family when she was one-year old, and her mother committed suicide when she was 7. Maybe you feel pity for her. She could be someone who just depends on the Government to feed her for the rest of her life, but she has been a youth leader in church for many years now, and her maturity beyond years just speak of the way she also handled difficulties with tenacity. It's already not easy growing up with a family, I cannot imagine being all alone.

Tenacity... I find this really hard to find nowadays.

What's next

There are so many things to worry about yet there are so many to be happy about. I'm funny that way. Maybe I think in advance for the future, perhaps a little resentful that it's not to be in our control and things may slide either way. I am hopeful that life is taking a turn for the better, yet strangely there are always setbacks. Small little notes of doubt that may cause unexplained worry.

It's fun to meet others who are also living the carefree life, people with time for tea and no hurry in between, able to leave their work duties almost anytime. I've been meeting people like that and I think one character trait that is evident in them all shows: that they care for people. A people person usually don't meet up for tea with ulterior motives, or to constantly talk about their latest product. Instead, we meet to learn from each other, to motivate each other, to get some tips - "What is a good brand for skincare? Where is a good place to buy a house?" Stuff like that. Tea time for me is a time to slow down and take charge of the biz I'm doing, the events happening, to plan, to chill and to get to know and learn from others. I'm a big fan of Caltex House, having met most people at the Kaya Toast place or other tea places. With avocado juice in hand, watching the busy executives rush their way by to various appointments. I'm a sucker for treating people with respect. I always do surveys even though I know it's probably some stuff I won't be interested in. But it's through these that you get to meet really nice people too. And I do learn from them lots. It's been said that if you want to do sales you can make a living, but if you provide good service, you'll last a lifetime. I will give that WOW factor to my clients even though it means spending that extra time.

Being very task oriented at work, normally when I come in I just plonk down my stuff and do my self-assigned tasks of the day, not really caring about who and what. I do scorn the ones who just surf the net the entire day, and reading up on topics about sales and whatnot. Honestly, I've been observing some guys in my area who just comes everyday and never making a single call. I'm not one to judge but I do wonder how they get by. And lately they have been getting on my nerves by the noise they make and the disturbances they cause. I remember when I was speaking on the phone to a prospect they were oohing and aahing over a new project launch over my head. I could probably box them there and then but I gave a killer glare and told them to be quiet. It was peaceful for the next hour or so, and then they continued again. I don't understand why they like to waste time doing nothing in the office when every little time is important to me... especially when it seems like each week passes by so fast! Also, I'm blessed beyond grace to have capable mentors who always lead me to greater heights. I realise that I've wasted time in the past and now I want to make the most out of it. Yet I do have the asset of time on my side. I'd never go into my own biz now because I know the odds of making it. Though I do hope to have a venture capitalist by my side and start a retail chain of sorts that works bigtime.

It's important at this juncture to maintain relationships and build new ones. We are shaped by the people we like to meet, and the people around us. I want to make sure of my early retirement in comfort. Honestly I'm pissed when people say, oh, I get good clients because of my good looks or it's so easy. Yeah, try it yourself. I've met so many people without even closing deals, but at least I can say for myself that I did put in effort, I did work hard. Even in relationships, our most important decision of choosing a life partner, it won't work out if we don't work hard at it. It seems nonsense to me to hear people saying that they are tired, they have tried... When all they do is nothing.

Opportunity to change your bank account.

The end of 06 is coming and it's been a great two months for me. I've not yet reached the tipping point to easily become a millionaire but the hard work I've put in since last year has borne fruit. Now, easily I find a life of ease and as my time expands, the ability to do many things I once could not.

Mingling with the entrupreneurs-to-be and the -already also makes me realise one thing: That I am also in this league. It is so important to find a mentor before you can become one. And then later, hopefully train another. I've had good mentors, uncles, my Rich Dad, Manager, etc who find it a pleasure to spend time answering my questions and guiding me along. Maybe I'm blessed that way,but also, I was looking for them. I've seen a few people saying "If only I've started when I was your age, I would have become really rich now." To change a society, educate lives. And I can go where no pastor can go: To touch and change the lives of successful businessmen like myself, if I am successful too. Was having fun writing some goals that I want to achieve by December 2006. It seems so soon that writing the bigger ones would make me demoralized. Still, goals are a big part of how or what we want to achieve in life.

Goals are to people what biz plan is to businessmen.

Was sharing with Penelope yesterday that any goal can be 'spiritual' or 'materialistic'. If I want to earn a million bucks, who is going to say anything if I give half of it away? Money gives us freedom if we do not have to work for it. For some people, even if they are faithful to the company, working years, slogging day and night - will they see a doubling of their income? No... perhaps never. That is why I like sales. You have the opportunity to change your bank account if you are hardworking. Hard work never killed anyone!

I've learnt that it's quite easy to do sales if you partner with the right company and product. I've seen people work so hard for a miserly sum when they could do the same amount of work and earn way better selling another type of thing. Some products work well in direct sales, others are suited for retail. Selling things can be fun if you like it and have a bit of thick skin in asking people if they want it.

Today's workers really need multiple sources of income if they want to survive. I'm glad I can bank on my diverse talents. Besides being in a job that pays well, I can also have the time to teach part time with a really decent sum. Plus, I can join any one of those health products out there (But I will join the best one) as I'm slim and actually eat really healthy foods. So I'm a bit of expert in that. I can also write, and design, so that also attributes to some on-off projects which I do enjoy doing for free most of the time. I'm starting to invest in things with good returns instead of always spending on consumer goods so that I can get a good value for my hard work and money next time.

I hope that I can share with others how to change their lives.

Wisecracks about men, women, and all that

A little light humor from me while trawling the web.

Enjoy a good Friday laugh for a great weekend!

I asked my wife if she'd love me when I was old and useless. She said, "Of course I do"
- Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Cats do what they want, when they want.
They rarely listen to you.
They're totally unpredictable.
They whine when they are not happy.
When you want to play they want to be left alone.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They expect you to cater to their every whim.
They're moody.
They leave their hair everywhere.
They drive you nuts.

Conclusion: Cats are little, tiny women in cheap fur coats.

My wife says I never listen to her.
At least I think that's what she said.

There were 11 people hanging on to a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men and one woman. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech on how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children and giving in to men. All of the men started clapping.

My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he says, "Excuse me God, can I ask you a few questions?"
God replied, "Go on Adam, but be quick. I have a world to create."
So Adam says," When you created Eve, why did You make her body so curvy and tender unlike mine?"
"I did that, Adam, so that you could love her."
"Oh, well then, why did You give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?"
"I did that Adam so that you could love her."
"Oh, well then, why did You make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?" "Well Adam, No. I did that so that she could love you."

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married?
Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman. I guess that I have been looking for the perfect girl."
"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."
"Yes, there was a girl, once. I guess she was the one perfect girl - the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me." replied the gent.
"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked his friend.
The gent replied, "She was looking for the perfect man."

How Dogs and Men Are the Same
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both are threatened by their own kind.
Both like to chew wood.
Both mark their territory.
Both are bad at asking you questions.
Neither tells you what's bothering them.
Both tend to smell riper with age.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
Neither does any dishes.
Both fart shamelessly.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
Neither understands what you see in cats.

The Dilemma

Just wondering...
How come the hope we have is short lived when faced with grim reality?
Why some christians don't believe God will heal?
And also not speak life into their circumstances but condemn it already by their demoralised words...
Why is this world so full of entertainment that does not glorify God?
And all of us thinks its great to keep watching the movies and listening to songs, once wholesome now with very dubious themes.
Even what we eat has changed. The decadence of this world, the westernisation of places we once loved. Food, a staple - should be a healthy staple. I need more balanced choices please. How come we have more and more choices but no better alternatives. Why do we lust for the latest technology when ours is still working fine? I only changed my mobile phone when my old one's hearing device was wonky and I couldn't store any more contacts. Yet it seems frivolous, even snobbish, to some for me, a youngster, to have such a 'good' and expensive looking phone. Oh? This is actually the second phone I ever bought in my lifetime - I have a good Daddy who blesses me with more than enough Nokias the past years. So considering that I've saved quite a lot these past years... ...
My point is, I think advertisements and the media play too huge a part in our lives. Why are we all hyped up about the latest movie, the newest techonology, the newly released single by some wannabe popstar with a glam mug but less than appealing vocals... the new perfume, or some skincare product hawked by some movie star. Is it really that good? Are we buying it because we like the product and it works or is it more bang and less buck?

The Dilemma of our times is not that we are indecisive.
It's that we have TOO MANY choices.

And in relationships as well. Once upon our parents' time they practically married the first or second boy that asked them out. The generation before that, even better. They only got to see their other half on the wedding day itself, in most marriages. So you inevitably end up with someone taller or thinner than you yuck. Now, we are spoilt for choices. It is not uncommon to hear of several ex-boyfriends (or several failed relationships) before marriage.

We can choose our partner from our workplace, church, relatives, social groups, if all else fails there is still the internet. bigchurch.com , sdu.com , friendfinder... Yet if this theory of 'having more choices is better' works out, how come our world sees more divorces, more affairs, more broken families and children getting depressed. One can argue that choice spoils us.

Even something so simple as choosing a mobile phone. There are 6 brands of pda touchscreen phones with different functions for different usage and operating systems. Inevitably, once we made that choice, we don't feel as if it's the BEST choice. Just a better choice out of the many, many choices we can otherwise make. Thus, the sense of insceurity - That others will say, why didn't you buy X ... or Y? And then you have to make a stand. The same goes for shopping for groceries, buying hairdye - there are at least 5 different brands to choose from. Choice spoils us, it makes us critical of other people's choices and we are often unsure that we have chosen the best.

That is why a good, loving God gave us ONLY two choices. Black or white, Truth or Lies. Follow me and be saved. Or choose not, and the option is death. We have to choose. We have a choice. Not choosing anything means you inevitably lose out in the game of life. The dilemma of the day is to choose something worthwhile.

Man, I should be a sociologist... ...

One minute millionaire book

I want Lindt's cointreau chocolates. And some time to myself to laze at home.
Why choose to be sad when you can be happy? Why choose to be a victim of the circumstances when you can be a victor in every way. Some people like to push their unhappiness, work stressors, complaints to other people - more often than not it's the ones you are supposed to cherish. What you think is what you will become. I often wonder why some people complain so much. The food takes too long to come, the weather is not to their exact liking, blah blah. If you complain too much you will look old. Man... collagen implants anyone? Then again they do not realise how grating their voice sounds when complaining over this and that. Nuff said, I will take time to think of a positive daily affirmation for myself. I want a nice mid sized house with grass for rabbits and maybe cats and whippets. I want to breathe fresh air daily and eat organic whenever affordable. I want some nice dresses and bags and tech accessories. I want personalised stuff. Yesssss...

Words transform. Any situation - use your mouth to speak a blessing or a curse, a healing or an acceptance of sickness, bring joy or insult. You choose. I've chosen.

So here's a little precious, my genius list.

MY GENIUS LIST

PASSION : WHAT DO I LOVE TO DO?
What activities give me satisfaction?
What excites me about my life?
What is my secret ambition?
What are my hobbies?

TALENT : WHAT AM I GOOD AT?
What do I get complimented on?
Where have I excelled in the past?
Where have I been successful?
What are some of my strengths?

VALUES : WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME?
What would I do if I were wealthy?
What do I stand for?
What won't I stand for?
What would I risk my life for?

DESTINY : WHAT WAS I BORN TO DO?
What is my unique mission in life?
What does God want me to do?
What are my unique opportunities?
Where can I make a difference?

Do I have what it takes (to be a millionaire?) Do you?

My first investment and good service

Yup.
I'm a forex investor! Haha.
I invested $XXX to buy Iraqi dinar (check out www.mydinar.net )

If we as christians believe that 'Babylon' will rise up again as a world superpower, plus the location of old Babylon should be the same as the new one (some preachers and scholars say), then, let's put our money where we believe! Well, I'm not that high a risk taker so I only invested $XXX (In fact my new bag costs more than that, oops.) The most if it's worthless I can go Jerusalem and buy a magic carpet.

But if each dinar reaches $1 USD I shall be very riche indeedy. =) hee.

I aim to invest almost everything that comes into the bank.

Actually I'd rather spend most of it but wahla... should save some for rainy days.

Was thinking about good service - my darling mentioned that I am such a sucker for good service. Well it's true. Maybe because I too provide good, efficient, friendly service to my clients. Efficient in the very least. But some restaurants here in Singapore are bad. Very bad. So bad that I think they should hire 'mystery diners' to solve their problem. Granted, service staff are hard to find and sometimes it's the internal training problem. But even if you have good food and lousy service, I'd rather eat at one with mediocre food and excellent service.

So here are my gourmet GEMs picks of the season. Make your date a happy and meaningful experience by going to these places!

Wheelock Place

1. Sun with Moon restaurant at Wheelock Place - Japanese food - I called in advance for reservation and they immediately ushered me to a small cosy wonderful table. Even though the table was situated far-off, every wave of the hand was answered promptly, staff were friendly, it was the most pleasant dinner experience ever...

2. NYDC Wheelock - Friendly service staff, I could say over enthusiatic! One friend complained her pasta was slightly dry, not expecting them to give her a totally new one! They kept refilling our glasses before it was half empty and although it was full house, they had enough staff to keep all happy. Wonderful experience!

3. Sakae, Wheelock - Called in advance on a Friday evening where the queue was 20-odd. Felt like a princess when the manager granted my request and we were ushered in to a nice seat. Food was prompt and the manager is a really nice lady!

Maybe the whole Wheelock is well trained in service!

Excellent service elsewhere:

Ichiban Boshi at Esplanade and Novena Square
Sixth Ave 'zhi char stall'


Bad, bad bad service elsewhere:

Sakae at Marina Square - Waited for the soup so long (it's self-cook soup so they only needed to prepare the ingredients) that we just paid and left. Manager pretended he was busy and requests went unnoticed many times.

Cedele Bakery Depot at Suntec - Rude waiters who knew nothing about their pastries (not even how to pronounce raspberry pistachio) and grumpy, kept talking loudy to themselves

Cedele at Raffles City - Kept announcing they were closing like 30minutes in advance as though they couldn't wait to get rid of us. Although the Cedele at Republic Plaza was terrific.


Ok. Seems like I go to many restaurants.

In dreams

If your heart is like my heart, then give me your hand. -John Wesley.

Some days are darker than the rest.

It's hard not to be so affected. I get affected easily by surroundings, by the haze. Makes me feel so 'heaty' inside, tons of water still does not quench the feeling of wanting to be in airconditioned atmospheres all the time - the one time where I prefer aircon to sunlight outside.

Had a disturbing dream - almost a nightmare two nights ago. Strangely I only remember one scene - although the rest of them is stuck near the back of my mind, playfully showing me snatches here and there but not exactly how, causing me to wonder if my memory of the dream was made up or was it really there...?

A chill went down my spine however, as I realised I was freed from this sort of dreams for years. Well truth be told I was not as frightened or remember it as poignantly as I had for previous ones. But the nuances are the same. Running away from something again. It's always running and running and I hate running. It's hard to pinpoint people with a soul like mine because sometimes they don't even know it themselves. I only realised it in the last few years but I've always known since I was a kid that I thought differently from other kids. Not that it's supered intelligent thinking, or even something to be proud of; no. It's a kind of unexplainable soulful, nonconventional thinking that just causes us to view the world in a different light. Some psychologists have a word for it - I forgot the term...But it's just used to describe people with an 'enlightened' sense of thinking, they they are able to connect within themselves - and come up with deep theories like Stephen Hawking's - or if they are inclined artistically - like John Wesley, cofounder of the Methodist movement. Every religion (except mine, perhaps) has an explanation for these souls. Buddhism calls them enlightened beings, with a boddisathvic (if there is that word) state of mind, born like this. New age calls them psychic, people with 'auras', heightened sense of being etc. I'm not into those spooky stuff but there are a couple of instances I sensed deeply certain things and insisted I was right and it turned out so.

Anyways, I never embraced this side of me, I just wanted to be like other normal people. Sort of like X-men. But I am slowly opening up to the fact that there are others in my midst who feel this deep sense of loneliness that no one else can ever understand them too. In fact, we don't want to understand ourselves, we will go crazy if we do! So, I'm not sure why I am like that but I believe someday my 'powers' will come forth to help me in some way, meanwhile, I just express myself through doing everyday things. I hope that my disturbing dreams are lessened though.

When the cold of winter comes

Starless night will cover day

In the veiling of the sun

We will walk in bitter rain

But in dreams

I can hear your name

And in dreams

We will meet again

When the seas and mountains fall

And we come to end of days

In the dark I hear a call

Calling me there

I will go there

And back again

-Taken from Lord of the Rings.

Exchange rate

A fair exchange.

I think in this life, we are constantly exchanging things for something else that we want. Think barter trade. Think commerce and other biz terms, but to put it in a straightforward manner, we just like to exchange what we already have for the things we want. Sometimes, we also exchange things for things we don't want, not realising the importance of the exchange.

Like sometimes when I am unhappy, I do things because of my sadness not knowing that I am causing another person to be unhappy, thus spreading the unhappiness around, doubling it, making it worse. Not a good rate of exchange. Most workers exchange time and their skills for money, and exchange money for a better life, for things that sustain and propel them to greater heights, for less stress, for easier transport. Not to say that we have to spend each and every hour of our time doing something productive, that will lead to health problems that eventually we have to spend more time and effort doing something about it.

Exchange. If we view things we do as exchanges, some having greater impact than others, then it is wise not to attach emotional value to the things we do. After all, I have heard of people wanting to change job/scope/company but they slog on year after year. Why? Because of the comfort zone, their friendly colleagues, they have gotten used to wearing such and doing such that they are reluctant to leave even though they want to. I'm not discounting the importance or such deep relationships and memories, but this can be a factor that handicaps us in life. I respect those expats who can just relocate with a small suitcase of clothes and start all over again with almost nothing, no belongings, no things they are clinging to from another world. For me, I tend to be sentimental - It was with great reluctance that I parted with my Stussy bag I used to carry in secondary school during spring clean last 2 months. It has many memories for me. I still keep letters from friends, old christmas cards and etc. I can't relocate without bringing those things. But job wise for me, I think I can safely say that if a better opportunity comes along (which is very rare considering my position now) the exchange factor will be one of commerce for me.

==

That aside, there are 'must-dos' in every culture, specifically mine. My darling is irritated at me for calling some of his mannerisms 'low class' once in a while. It's not purposely meant to hurt... And I don't think I'm very 'high class' either but yeah, some things are must-dos, and others are 'boo-boos'. I've drawn up some fun rules for my life for myself to fulfill in my specific culture, here!

Must-dos for spiritedly
1.Remember all my covenantal friends birthdays!Wish them, pray for them, buy them a small token of appreciation! Makes everyone happy, and a small $5 gift is inexpensive when you see the look on the person's face that you remembered their birthdays.

2.I've received treats from managers and rich ones and people who love me enough to feed me, so many times that I actually save quite a lot on food. So, I will treat people to Starbucks or any little dessert, or a meal, when we meet.

3.Send flowers for any housewarming, office opening, new colleague, old colleague coming back that sort of thing. Once again inexpensive (if you go to the right places) and fun to give plus flowers are always appreciated. Next time a bottle of wine when I know how to choose them.

4. Set fun things that enable me to save money and actually spend on the things I really want. My rules are: I'm only going to buy one pair of jeans in a year. I don't really wear jeans so this rule is necessary. So I can get more dresses! Also health rule: Eat char kway teow twice a year only (adapted from Walt's code), drink fresh fruit juice whenever possible and just make healthier food options. Having 'no-lunch lunch' actually destresses my mind because I don't have to push and shove with the lunch crowd and queue and wait for seats, plus, I have time to relax in the office, catch up on admin (it's more fun to do it alone, silently) and sms people I love.

5.Always introduce myself to new people and make light banter with them.

6.Don't make shopping my favorite pasttime. So many of us just hang at shopping malls because it's convienient, non sweaty, and... we end up shopping which is not beneficial to any relationship! Let us go to parks, take long walks by beaches, chill out at quiet cafes, bookshops, and keep the romance alive. Movies are ok maybe once a fortnight for me.

7.Make yourself happy. Many people, myself included are too hard on ourselves. We make ourselves sad by our unrealised expectations, of cramming too many things in one day and not fulfilling all our agenda, of making plans and then having to cancel because of being overbooked then feel so guilty for disappointing others and ourselves. Well, the nervousness and tension only spills over. Relax and know that in one year's time you won't even remember what happened yesterday. I always give myself small treats when I've accomplished small tasks, and of course big treats for big tasks! Maybe a trip to JB or Batam will do us good, or a small little diamond accessory - even cases for handphones, a new Muji notebook, getting your favorite drink on the way to work. Simple things to keep life balanced and cheery!

8.Thank those who have gone out of their way 'beyond the call of duty' to help you in certain ways. Maybe those who have chaufeurred you without complain, give them a box of chocolates to show you care for their petrol costs. Those who have organized things, treat them to a refreshing drink. And those who have been your punching bag, your listening ear, your tireless support that have made you a success today, never fail to be that punching bag to some other person who will need you. Let's never be selfish with our time or resources, but don't just take and take, it's time to take turns to be giving too. I've learnt a lot, one year in The Office, and over the weekend I bought Manager a plush retro Mickey - she loves the Disney character. It's big, like a one year old baby, and able to sit down! I put it on her chair. When she realised it was for her she couldn't stop beaming and asked me why I gave that... And even talked to it, asking it to guard her seat as she went out for lunch. =) It costs a small amount but the value of an unexpected 'thanks for guiding me this one year', priceless!

I have more thoughts on this ( I realised mine is all related to treating and thanking)... actually when I was almost penniless, I thought hard about the facts of life and I vowed to make it up to all those people one day. My parents who brought me up, I wish I can buy an organic farm for them to happily live amongst the nature to a ripe old age. My friends who were there during the hard times, I want to treat them to double what they have so freely given. For God who is always there, I want to give and give to the pastors, to build the building, to be a vessel of blessing. I used to be quite selfish - or really, it's bo chup. And now, I actually still am quite nonchalant about the things happening in others' lives, etc. It's time to move out of that, as I approach another year! Goodbye old habits, I've learnt to be a better person!

Food.

Food for thought. Read a quote attributed to Albert Eintstein:

There are two ways to live your life -one as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.

Cool. Hum I must be more balanced in my purchases. Buy more skincare and wellness products to even out my huge consumption of spiritedly stuff - obscure knickknacks that junk up my room, clothes, bag, small things... I have soooo many things to sell at the flea mart.

I wonder why women love shopping so much. I only shop when I have things to buy. Then again, the things on my list are so many that I can't possibly finish buying... well, I can, but it doesn't give me a sense of satisfaction anyways.

Was explaining IDENTITY to my girls the other day. Tried to draw it out - One's identity is shaped by the Ego, or ID as learnt in psychoanlysis with Freud and the big boys, which leads to your psyche - heart issues, better known as psychology. For me I feel personality and character is not one and the same, though in descriptive writing one would be hard pressed to use adjectives to bring out the differences. And, of course the all important outlook - appearance, what you choose to wear sort of determines your behavior. Really! Somehow the vibe created is not that simple especially if you are a complex creature, you will never ever find something to wear that is 100% YOU. Sure, I like asymetric, designer stuff with bold prints and grafitti style tees. But I also like fragile, white, almost transluscent flowy loose dresses and blouses as well as sharp, chic stuff. More importantly it has to have utility - who designed girls trousers without pockets is really... sigh. Why, the extra padding makes the hips look bigger? Now that I have short(er) hair I want to be more bold and daring. At least I don't look that unkempt now though I still don't comb my hair.

I think that one day I'd just be my own person. Finally find out the things I want to do, do them, make enough money to last a long,long time, and then go somewhere where the air is fresh, organic food is the norm, where I can eat bread and cheese all day without any hype about weight loss, unhealthy fads, or have the urge to go shopping daily just to beat the boredom.

Oh and I ordered my favorite chocolate eclairs for the BBQ. Yumyum.

Anyone interested in these pink furry things? $6 bucks at Golden Mile

Colin bought the 'Dale' for me... sitting amidst the nice stuff

One Ed Hardy tee...The other in the wash

Nice bag, nice furry slipper, nice rug. Recent purchases from China Square and Golden Mile.

Things that make me happy

Went on a little phototaking as I'm waiting for sis to come out of the shower. Realised I bought many things this and last week - Went to JB bought 2 Ed Hardy tees, wooden sandals to work, and some small items. Oh, plus three birthday gifts - I always seem to go broke around this time of the month!

The flea mart at China Square sold nice stuff. Got a handmade granny's bag and rug from an authentic granny. Carried it today. I think girls need to pamper themselves once in a while. Go for a manicure, relax with a good book or magazine, some haircut, buy a dress!

Sometimes I feel kinda sickky these days. It should be the haze plus that time of the month. My whole body feels like colliding inside. I'm energetic enough to want to walk around malls, but also there is the need to sit down and have water or something to drink once in a while. I think boyfriends who want to keep their girlfriends, and want the relationship to last should be kinder and less selfish during these times. It's not too much to ask. After all, she has sacrificed much for you also just by being with you and tolerating your nonsense (haha.), just give her some peace and quiet and don't try to rationalise your actions. I think I'm on the verge of giving up looking for support from this area. Find it within myself? Maybe. But I'm just puzzled how come everything is going well but the person seems to make it worse. And I'm scared of people raising their voices at me and getting frustrated, angry at my sickky feeling. It's not my fault that I am weak. Please don't make it worse.

With compliments from Singtel - $45 worth of mooncakes from Raffles The Plaza. Superb!

Reality shows and the harsh reality of life...

Remember that what is hard to endure will be sweet to recall.

I've been thinking about the people I meet recently and the ones whose lot in life seems like it will never be good. There is still the great divide between poly and uni students - or those that have a degree compared to a diploma. On one hand I'm glad I belong to the other, 'better' side, that I don't have to search that hard for a 2K and above paying job. Meanwhile, not everyone has the chance to get a degree, so, being judged on a piece of paper seems rather harsh. Watching those reality shows really grips my mind, too. Seeing people who obviously cannot make it in dance/singing/acting whichever show they take part in, yet - either being really bigheaded and thinking they are an undiscovered star or, just another one out for fame really irks me. It's like modelling - some industries need certain KEY factors that some people have naturally - a talent, an aptitude, height, or good looks... and if you can't make it, why not try something else that suits you better instead of trying and trying again. I guess that's another message those reality shows try to give.

I'm glad I know what I do better so I don't have delusional dreams - sure, I have a bit of natural ability for arts, including painting, singing and dancing more so than the average person, but definitely not enough to 'make it' on the international screen. So, treat it as a hobby or something to do with your spare time. I like English but I don't like it that much to soak it up 24/7 or to constantly teach others about their poor grammar, so I take up a part time teaching assignment that brings in pretty good pocket money.

I usually do my manicures at Bugis Village - the cramped up, open-air place to find cheap clothes and sometimes nice accessories, although it's increasingly coming from places like Thailand and HongKong, but sometimes there are nice finds like factory rejects Abercrombie and Fitch at the airconditioned second level or nice dresses for a small bargain of what you'd find elsewhere in Far East type of shops. Being in a kind of chatty mood, I made conversation with a wide eyed, petite girl who was doing my nails in a dark plum color with dragonfly stickers. Turns out she was most probably older than me, married with 2 kids. I wondered how she could survive with the meagre pay and long working hours in the claustrophobic shop. I wondered even if they worked hard, whether their pay could hit $1K a month as the basic manicure was only $12. I added stickers and some special oil which made it to be around $20. Doing my nails there, the service was better than at other specialised manicure shops, yet it was half the price. I felt rather sorry for her as she shared that she started working after N levels and worked for 3 years as a manicurist. The other girl that I spoke to - at a pushcart where I made a 'skin' for my handphone, only studied to O levels and had tattoos on her fingers, shoulder blade and ankle. She looks pretty in a Jolin way, petite too and shy yet easygoing in the friendly, laidback way. I just wondered how they could get by. Standing by a pushcart would bore me to bits! Sometimes I wish there was a way to help those in our society. But sometimes the help is unwanted, and even not welcomed. I wonder how these people are going to survive, marry, and have kids. Already it's becoming so hard for us 'normal' people.

Spirited Designs

Please view my jewellery designs (so far only these few as it is really time consuming)

at www.spiriteddesigns.blogspot.com !

I was inspired to do these as you can't find good quality jewellery at this mid-range price (either really expensive, or those cheapo plastic ones.) So, I made my own and it has been very fulfilling.

As it is ''spirited designs'', of course some upcoming ones will have cross motifs and etc. These are going to be popular I hope.

Right now the collection features vintage keys, chains, rosettes and nice brooches.

Thank you so much for your support!

The perks of being thin

Being one of the tallest girls in my kindergarten, and primary, and secondary, I always felt like I was 'too tall'. Even though then and now, many girls would come and tell me I was their 'ideal height'. Maybe it works for you when you are in showbiz or a model. Me, I'm just an ordinary slim tall gal! Heels make me self conscious as I'd then tower over most of the guys. I'm not 'too tall' now, most of the guys have caught up with me since then.

I've always assumed that being thin comes naturally with being tall. After all, 'lanky' is an apt description for tallies like us. However I've always wanted to be more... voluptuous, despite lots of girls telling me they envy my long legs, my erh, ability to wear almost anything and still look okay. I never knew girls had so much trouble in the wardrobe department when they are slightly chubby, when they have to watch what they eat and still put on weight from drinking water. I don't exercise much (walk a lot though) but then, I don't eat much either and I'm hyperactive so that combination is a good one, I guess. I just lost 1 kg from 2 days of flu plus 2 weeks of no-lunch lunch. Actually, I don't feel hungry often, I guess I just eat to gain energy and kill time, of course I enjoy savoring the taste of delicious food as well! I think I'm quite in touch with my own body - I don't weigh myself regularly, but felt thinner on the limbs plus my ring was loose... I guess the experts are right, it's hardest to lose in the tummy and thighs area, although my thighs are non existent thanks to the no-visible-hipbone genes... But after the flu somehow felt myself being thinner. Every kg makes a difference when you are thinner I guess. My butt disappeared when I lost 5 kg during dengue last year. A secret: Drink Meiji milk. I drank a litre and it came back like normal!

And 'normal' girls won't want to associate themselves with me... it's like I'm in a class of my own. It's hard to go shopping with me actually... 'normal' girls will lose their self esteem when I can fit into anything 'free size' and usually, Euro/US 'small'. I don't even usually try on tops. Don't ask me about Asian brands though as I always find their hemlines too short for my long torso.

The downsides of being thin - or odd sized:
1. People just say that you are blessed with a high metabolism rate (How many times I've heard that, man...)

2...and can't identify with 'normal girl' problems of water retention, tummy, calorie count, taking half an hour to decide what to wear, can't find clothes to fit... etc.

3. Mean office 'aunties' will try to stuff you with extra mooncakes, oily breakfast and other extra snacks you don't usually take.

4. You always need padding for bras and can't wear black or dark colors, even if you like them.

5. Because of being too bony, wired bras chafe your skin and so does g-strings till you're rubbed red and raw.



But being thin has its perks. Of course, only thin and superthin girls can identify with me. Heh.

1. You don't have to worry about sagging parts when you get old. Hee...At least they will be slightly less sagging...

2. You feel so darn good when you ask the salesgirl, "Oh, size 'M' is what waist length in inches? Hmmm... I think it will be too loose. Give me 'S' instead."

3. You start to feel less darn good when 'S' is still loose...

4. You feel so pleased when you can fit into a size 25inch jeans with space to spare and just wish that the waist number is printed on the back, like Levis'...

5. You can give people healthy eating and/or dieting and exercising advice and you won't see any skeptical looks or frowns.

6. You don't look like a waddling duck when pregnant and you still have long legs to showcase ala Heidi Klum.

7. Plus you will never suffer the indignity of wearing size "L" except when pregnant.

8. No one will refer to you as 'fatso', 'hamburger', 'miss piggy' or ask you, 'How far along are you?' innocently when you sport a dress with sports shoes.

9. No one will exclaim 'Oh you've lost so much weight!' happily when you have lost weight. They'd just say, eat more, you're losing too much.

And the clincher...
10. You get the much sought after extra piece of mooncake with double egg yolk that all the aunties don't dare to eat infront of the other aunties, thus passing it to you, saying, "You can afford (to eat without worrying) it!"


Cheerio!

Money and meaningless things that affect us

Someone mentioned that the price of shuttlecocks have gone up... All I can say, certain things affect other (industries) in different ways!

Yes, because of the chicken flu. I also have flu, these last couple of days. I wonder if my absence has affected anyone...?

I guess for most people small things in life don't seem to have much of an impact... Until that thing - taken for granted, disappears. Most people blame the government and complain about the recent IMF, that the road diversion seems to be very un-pedestrian and driver-friendly, that the policemen (Never knew there were so many!) situated at almost all our major shopping centres seem to add a heightened sense of insecurity... Being unhappy about such small stuff is a choice - Sure, I too glance at my watch more than a few times while passing through the diversion to my office the last weeks, but the time delay I would say at most, is just a mere 10 minutes, so why get so worked up over this small 'wastage' of time where during other instances, we fritter time away too.

Been watching Oprah - about 'debt diet', how many Americans are struggling in debt yet can't bear to give up their extravagant, wasteful lifestyles. I think money for them becomes a neccessity. It's a different outlook on life when you work for the monthly salary, compared to when you don't really need it and work to pass the time... and surprisingly, the latter is less stressed and ultimately performs better. I've seen many cases like this in my office. For myself, I don't work best under stress, rather, under a consistent, relaxed effort I cruise.

I used to 'count the cost' of many things - write down all my expenses in a book, fret about how much is left over in my bank account. Unfortunately I never mastered the habit of saving during my secondary school days - I'm not someone who buys a lot of stuff, but, the money goes to entertainment, mostly. See, I get bored easily and it doesn't pain my heart to watch maybe 3 movies in a week. The price is comparable (during my time) to going out for coffee... so why not watch a movie instead? Now... I think my choice of movie screenings become pickier - or do I realise that there are not many good shows to watch nowadays?

So, I am very afraid to get into debt, and I think that is a good thing... Even borrowing money... I do try to REMEMBER to pay it off asap. The thing is I've a really bad memory so all those who borrowed money from me... I hope I get it back someday. I've seen families like those on Oprah, stressed to death about keeping up with the bills, and seeing our way of life in sg, I have a sick feeling that that's going to be the case for many around me. See, previously the clothes in Robinsons', M&S, etc those departmental store brands were the norm - They were affordable, although, of course, basic and slightly frumpy. But hey, everyone I knew would buy from these staples. Our pagers never needed changing and mobile phones could last at least a year or two before some accident happens and it dies on us... And even if some accident happens, I remember them being more lasting! Now, mobile phones twice the price has a lead time of 6 months to a year. Clothes no longer are cheap. Look at Topshop, a simple dress costs at least $100. Even Giordano... wow. I won't make a last resort to those cheapo HongKong or China blouses though... It just looks bad.

And talking about handphones, in my lifetime I have used about ... 7? phones. Starting with a Motorola V-something (previously Motorola and Ericsson were the market leader) which screen changes color as different people call you... Of course that time the screen was gray with black font. I had many Nokias, and even the Motorola startac, the flip phone - the predecessor of the Razr. That was still one of the best designs if you ask me. Of course, Nokia soon won popularity with its user friendly functions although, up till now it's still so thick and heavy.

For most of us we buy things to keep ourselves happy. Me, included. Buying small cute things gives me an adrenalin rush for most of the day - similar to creating something of worth be it a painting, a necklace... Well, I do hope that we won't find ourselves having perpetual debt - In my line of work I've met many savvy investors who has that spare 5 or 6 figure sum to spare. Maybe we might rationalise, oh, those are the high flyers in the company. Or, those come from a rich family, or they have not many liabilities, no kids, no old parents etc. But surprise, surprise! Most of them come from rich families (true) that did not leave them any money, instead, teaching them how to afford the kind of lifestyle you want. And so, they look just like any other sg family, working in a middle management job. But they know how to save and what to spend on. And they will be much better off than the rest of us!

I've found my rich Dad, a mentor to guide me in the business area. I hope I'm teachable enough to start doing the right things at an early age. Some people believe that they want to be bankrupt before 30, so they can learn how to be a millionaire in the future. Me, I'm not so high-risk but not so chicken either. At my age I've gone to many places and met many people some can only dream about when they secure that higher management title. To step out in faith, there will be open heavens, said Fifi. Yes! I believe that whatever you step out in faith to do, there will be a new lesson learnt, a new experience and most of all, you learn how to face adversity, how to be strong.

When I see people complaining much about the small things in life, I guess they have not learnt how to complain about the big things.

On a jewellery hunt...

Christmas is commmmming.... fa la la la la!

What can I say? I do like to plan ahead. Especially with the weather so bleak these days, reminds me of the 'wintry' Xmas mood =)

And seeing so many people making their own jewellery at the bazaar and elsewhere online, I was inspired to do my own. Mostly because in shops I cannot find what I am looking for, and I cannot bear to wear something someone else has. Hee, exclusive me. Was pretty intrigued at a friend's Lego earrings her ardent coll got for her. Sweet. Well, I like chunky kiddy stuff but unfortunately it's a no-no at work. Though I dared to wear Crocs once 'cause of the rainy wet ground. Don't you just hate the feeling of wet slippery sandals...

So lately have been on the lookout for craft shops which unfortunately in sg, is as rare as... LD records shop... I think making art and craft is really a dying pasttime. No one embroiders or makes those beaded fruit trees anymore. Noooo. Funnily went out with dear YH to Holland V yesterday...thought they should have those trinket shops... well there were 2 and one was closed and it was "Forever Company" (yong heng gong si) in Chinese... Was so funny I just stood there laughing...As Mr Forever is out with me... we joked that's why he closed the shop!

Today ended work early (self declared!) so I made a trip to one of the slightly musty shops in my hometown... surprise, they have all sorts of newfangled items like those anchor, sailor trinkets that is so so in right now plus of course all the old beaded stuff. Also many new kinds of beads, and everything to make jewellery with. So happy! (The next thing I will embark on is scrapbooking and painting, which I used to do) Bought to my budget of $15... forgoed the anchor trinket - think it will be outta fashion soon, plus it was too common now... And so!

Surprisingly happy with my original, exclusive design.

But I took really long to make it. Ha. One and a half hours! I didn't know what to do, where to hook etc. First time mah. But now I know. A long necklace next? I must say that it's really relaxing just twisting and chilling out with the radio in this weather... Maybe I'd make a piece for all my cell girls... or those trinket keychain... or something! Slowly... one a week? Hehe.

Anyone want to place order... ...

Shannon thanks for the link http://www.subversivejewelry.com/

Hand made. In hand - my first creation...

My bracelet - handmade!

Yes that's my arm...

Side view - my first bracelet!

Friday Meme

I love asking and answering questions, they keep me sane.
Once again some questions to ponder upon while skipping lunch this rainy afternoon.


One body part you’d like to change?
I'm actually quite satisfied but I wish my feet could fit into normal shoes without any discomfort so I'd own 100 pairs of sexy heels instead of 2 for work.

Describe your ideal Saturday.
It would have to be waking up late, no work, bright sunny morning and a day out relaxing at the beach, reading a novel, or walking through flea marts and eating nice nolstalgic food.

What have you got for leftovers in your fridge?
Hum...nothing much. Half eaten chocolate bar. Usually not much leftovers! Haha...

You get to travel back in time for one day. How far back do you go and why?
I go back to the time when we had a way to change lives and change things. Probably to when Singapore was declaring independence...

If you had one hour with the President, what would you say to him?
I'd ask him how much he earns and spend that one hour convincing him to invest at least a 7 figure sum with me, hee...

One body part you’d never change?
My lips - always flushed and I never need to wear lipstick, plus they look full of collagen. I inherited them...Angelina Jolie type lips. Always took them for granted till I realised the problems thin lips have...

Your most favorite thing about being where you are in life right now?
Probably the fact that I have not much worries, no liabilities and enjoying my work almost every single day. That I'm still young- yet not that young where I'm not respected... yet young enough to be wilful at times without suffering much repercussions.

Ultra-violet rays or tan-in-a-bottle?
Go to Sentosa! Where the sun always shines... Then again, it has to be a whole day out. Right now am using "Hawaiian Tropics" brand of sunless bronzing cream - appears to be a moisturiser but slowly turns your skin into a nice subtle tan. I like it very much. This brand has nice suntanning lotion too.

You have an unlimited expense account; what three things do you purchase first?
A 3G palm type phone is first that comes to mind... since I really need it. The rest... Well, I would buy a house - a shophouse, and then a nice car... volkswagen van or beetle or golf...

Your least favorite thing being where you are in life right now?
Knowing that time is precious, that each year you waste right now you will live to regret it... being caught up in the daily grind of things with friends so busy that we never have time to catch up.

==
I am wondering about the state of things and what am I going to do next year. How is life like and whether the things I plant my time into will bear fruit, or at least, let me learn something new. I need challenges but I need the resources to be there as well. Am blessed by the people around me, helpful and encouraging ones whom I certainly want them to be a part of my life in the future. It's scary to imagine that in 2-5 years from now I will have everything I ever wanted, except maybe having a retail chain of my own - one of my passions and wishes. I hope that life does bring joy and hope, healing, happiness to the ones around me. Truly, that they regard the things they own not as theirs but something they are blessed by. How to be truly happy is to find joy in places you never knew existed, small things like a nice belt or a favorite purse... and to thank God for it and everything else.

My new lunch mate... or rather, no-lunch mate

iconnect comm - our shirts nice?

Still feeling woozy

Still feeling woozy - many factors: lack of sound sleep, the weather is just too hot, the migraine from yesterday still festering somewhere sending funny throbs now and then.

Don't like to feel woozy because it reminds me of how fragile and vulnerable life and relationships can be. I'm not thinking much, simply because I refuse to start the whole cycle again. Have wonderful advice from every side though. Thanks guys. I think I'm brave enough to embark on the journey of letting go since it means that you will know after that what you really want.

Something funny - or not really funny happened last night (which apparently caused my tiredness today). At night, Mom declared that the last surviving hamster Misty was dead. He was a good hamster. Feeling slightly sad about it all, the night passed uneventfully. It was only when I was about to turn in for the night when Misty suddenly popped out his head and jumped up and down. Told Mom who was puzzled and realised she mistook a piece of bread for a dead body. Happily Mom put him in a new clean cage, and happily the undead Misty ran the wheel and scratched the papers happily the whole night... forgetting to sleep, thus disturbing my sleep. I woke countless times, to the background sound of boxes-scratching.

If I'm sick, why does it seem to be my fault...
If I'm hurting inside why do I find no comfort in you... for your words seem to pierce me even further, your actions driving us apart.

I need a real, deep love. The soulmate type, the one where two becomes really one- thinking alike, caring for the other person as though he is your own. Never saying a harsh word about their lives knowing it will crumble them to pieces.

Should I just let go and look for another?

A simple love story

She cried herself to sleep last night. It was not in her to cry like this. Having no person to share her sorrows to – she doubted if even Max would understand. How to, when she herself could not even begin to see what it was all about. Faith always strengthened her in times like this. But now, weary and listless, she spent most of her time wandering aimlessly down busy suburban shops and amidst the busy chatter of happy shoppers, her heart cried out for something more.

Their hands clasped together tightly for the first time, as though it was so natural to be so, a perfect fit, hands searching for each other for the longest time. After heart wrenching experiences with men, other men whose presence in her life served no purpose but only to confuse and sadden her, Symonds’ presence was like a breath of fresh air. She admired him for all that he stood for and his rough way of saying that he liked her. She knew that there was something special in him the first time they met.

As they walked down a steep incline leading away from Fort Park, she told herself in her heart that this man was alright. The voices she heard calling out her name, the inner demons with no face or reason to be there, had slowly faded away. She was not going to give away her life to these insecurities, wondering whether those tumultuous times that seemed so long ago, yet happened only the year before, was a figment of her imagination, or something like in cursed dreams, sent to taunt her into submission. All along, Coral was not one to take things lying down. Her willful nature actually became a good factor in areas she was championing for. Teamed together with her love for creativity and interpersonal skills, she seldom lost out in this rat race of life when people her age were still trying to come to terms with their identity.

She looked at him almost achingly, wanting to voice her thoughts, but after a split second, decided against it. She wanted to let him know that his face was the one she wanted to see, first thing in the morning, forever – but thought that this would probably scare him away before he could even tell her that he loved her. He did, a few days later, and she knew that he was the type who would not mince his feelings, who told the girl exactly what his heart felt or thought, who wanted her very much and was not afraid to say so. Such a refreshing gush of air compared to her past experiences with men. Symonds looked almost shyly at her and then downwards, perhaps escaping from the brilliant intensity that shone in her eyes. She had such a passion for life before, even though being much subdued now she still had a brimming radiance around her, full of energy.

It was almost like a fairytale beginning, she mused, after yet another night of wakefulness between letting her tears fall softly at the irony of it all. Yet another failed relationship. At least, it was not like the ones she saw, couples with no passion for each other, just a longtime friendship which never could be translated into true, deep love. She saw couples where only one person had the deep love for the other and knew that, this was not what they initially wanted. She saw couples that were incompatible in every way except perhaps their passion for each other, and that was more than enough for the relationship. In the fairytale beginning, it was not like this. Never like this. Everything was perfect, no arguments, no heated tears, no turning away. In a place where there was only love and acceptance and the bonds formed, so deep that not a single dark or depressing thought could ever hope to thrive in that place. And the way he looked at her, as though he had seen the light for the first time, a small smile blossoming on his lips that said he liked what he saw very much. Eyes that betrayed nothing in his heart yet spoke volumes when he couldn’t face her intense gaze. The willingness to accompany her to strange places she wanted to go, just to break the sad monotony of life she was facing. She knew this was it.

And then the heartbreak began.

To be continued...

Like a candle in the wind

Arty shot of Lav's soccer table

I think I like pearls very much!

This girl's name is Genevieve

4 thousand smiles...

Candid shots of 2 boys, iconnect

Only in Dreams

A poem. Copyright mine.

To assume each waking-up moment
Is more pleasant than being asleep
Find that too presumptuous for sometimes
For me dreams make sense.
Dreams, a different reality
Glimpse the places souls rest by
The hopes heart clings to
The lessons life learns, the truth abided by
Dreams are visuals life cannot provide.
Eyes as wise as the willow tree
I look, and see nothing.
You look, and see a thousand maybes
Of what could be and might have been.
Please don't tell me I'm lost till you've found the right way
And I may not follow, I choose here
I only want to linger here
Here, it is peaceful within
My heart takes cover under the flight
Of wings upon high for reasons unknown
Yet comfort I take, freely given it so seems.
I close my eyes and wish for forever
When living streams mean nothing to me
The willow tree in dreams is all I need
I long to stay asleep.

At heart

I'm a romantic at heart.

Not those types of diehard romantics, no... just sometimes having little thoughts like, oh, if I were a guy, I'd buy those chocs/flowers/small trinkets for my gal...but still, touched when Darling gives me little chocs, buys sotong balls because I said I liked, carrying my oversized bag and etc. I do wish sometimes though for more affection - I mean, there is already a lot of affection in the daily many smses and we talk almost constantly, not to mention almost every night. Once he came into my life, I wonder really how it was like before. Maybe lonely Friday nights and more free time. Hurhur. Talking about sms-ing, Travis mentioned to me while we were out - that he had the same phone plan as mine - ie 500 sms, however he never exceeds that while I always do. =P

Found out today that Travis had a relapse on Wednesday. Last I saw him (Monday), he was full of life, full of plans for the week as it was his school break for this week. Alas, he has to rest at home for this week because of the relapse. Actually, we planned to meet for dinner today but he said he had to rest at home. I just felt so sad, for him. Epilepsy is something that no one knows the cause... and no known cure as well. Although sometimes, it just miraculously disappears. I kept having flashbacks of the time when I saw him, helpless on the floor, with blood streaming down. Guess I was pretty traumatised that time, and I can't even imagine how he is feeling now. It would take a mature and positive woman to accept this in a man. He can't even do basic things like learning how to drive, serving reservist...all because of this dreaded sickness... Oh God, how I wish that sickness does not touch anyone in my circle. I feel pained as I imagine his anguish. Surely he must have cried out to God many times to heal him? Yet, all he knows is that the healing will take place... but when...? Travis is one of my inner circle...a person that I really trust as my support group, although I don't think I am someone who is giving him support... well, just friendship and companionship, don't think he's close to any other gal, haha! I just wish that there is something I can do to help... If I had known, I would have gone to the hospital. Just a small show of support. It must be difficult for people to always go in and out of hospital. The toll on the body, and the convalesence time to recuperate.

At least, I'm glad that we shared a happy day together before this took place.
Please let him be well.

best foot forward

If everything was better

I love my job, I love my darling, I love my new cardi... ... but why is my phone wonky?

Wonder why so many people only always remember the bad stuff in life. Hey, when things are good, you wonder what's going to go wrong? This is a bit off. I see difficulties in work as small challenges, trying not to get personally involved... thus not affecting my day or my mood. Sure, there are nasty people, but the majority are sincere, polite, nice people. This phrase, I learnt it from the animation movie showing now, keeps ringing in my head:

''A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man, stands up for others." From the father cow to his son, meaning that as cows, they should protect the weaker ones amongst them, like chickens... =) so well, there are people around us with problems... I just thought. Usually work problems, financial problems are one of the more major stuff. Then there's sickness, worry over family's or friend's state, emotional woes, relationship problems... I guess being overly involved in other people's lives will make one really sad, if there is no proper balance. For me, I just need to chat about my day, and then, I think after draining the negative energy I will be balanced, haha! Well, hopefully my new prayer journal - signifying a new journey? will help me to remember to pray more! As I will carry it along everyday now...

So here, a meaningful rhyming poem which hopefully will inspire random strangers to do something, to be happy, to have a no-complaining day or something.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,'
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

-If, Rudyard Kipling.

Our team's apparel for iconnect - nice?

The baby lamb and cat with train set

New collecting hobby - Sylvanian families

Darling gave me a cactus in a shot glass